The Super-Duper Ch. 01

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MimiRose
MimiRose
451 Followers

"Mama, you should go skiing with Auntie Gumby. I want you to have fun this summer. Promise me that you will have some type of fun while I am gone" and that being said, she watched her son turned away and board the charter bus. That statement totally caught her off-guard. She stuttered out a response that she would, which was a bunch of empty words with no promises.

Three weeks traveled by and Somalia hasn't been keeping her word to her son. In those first three weeks, she has done absolutely nothing that was considered fun. She had done her usual activities: go to work, come home from work, eat, sleep and then repeat the same steps until the weekend approached. The only thing that she had done that was out of the ordinary was attended a family dinner at her parents' home.

It wasn't like Somalia didn't have any places to hang out; after all, she lived in one of the great cities of the world, New York City. If she wanted to find someplace that was unique and fun, all she had to do is look through her smart phone. Also, it was not like she didn't have any friends/acquaintances/potential suitors to invite her to functions. At least three times a week, she was invited to some type of function, whether if it was a date, a party or a Happy Hour function.

It did not take some type of soul-draining, intrapersonal character searching for Somalia to figure out what was her problem. She knew that she was a home-body and she was afraid of doing new things, in fear of not enjoying it. She felt the same way, when it came to befriending people that she's recently met. She's come to accept the idiosyncrasy with open arms.

Then, on one Saturday morning, Somalia decided to take those open arms and choke the shit out of that idiosyncrasy.

The proverbial act of asphyxiation had occurred during a telephone conversation that she was having with her best friend, her former sister-in-law, Gumby. Somalia was standing on the back patio of her house, watering a couple of potted plants while listening to her friend gripe about a problem that she was facing. It was a recurring problem that was turning up and it was in regards to a trip that she had planned. Gumby, thanks to a sweepstakes that she entered, had won a two-week vacation to some hoity-toity ski resort that was nestled up near the Colorado Rocky Mountains. As a part of the prize package, she was rewarded with two free round-trip airplane tickets and a few other travel accommodations. Now the problem that she faced was trying to find the other person to spend her vacation with. First, Gumby invited Somalia who ended up turning down her invitation and ended up giving her some bullshit excuse. The second person that she invited was her mother. But her mother also turned her down and was adamant about not wanting to fly from Bangkok, Thailand to America. She asked a co-worker of hers, who was a good friend, and that person wanted her to trade in the deluxe suite for two rooms, the two first-class tickets for three coach seats, just so she could invite her man. Now, she was back to square one with this extra ticket.

Gumby was in the middle of explaining all of this to Somalia, when she heard Somalia say "I'll go". Soon after, Somalia heard a clattering noise and then slight static from Gumby's end of the phone. Feeling worried, Somalia called out for Gumby.

"Hey," Gumby said, after that brief moment of silence.

"What in the hell just happened?" Somalia asked, as she picked off some dead leaves off of her geraniums.

"Oh, I just fainted. I think it was from the shock of hearing that your ass wants to go somewhere," quip Gumby.

"Fuck you, bitch" Somalia chuckled.

"Fuck you, too" she said in response. They both laughed at their inside joke. "Are you sure that you wanna go? I don't want you to say 'yes' and then tell me 'no' at the last minute."

"Yes, Gumby, I want to go with you on this ski trip." Suddenly, a loud, abrasive shrill broke through the phone and Somalia had to take the phone away from her ear. Once she was certain the Gumby was done celebrating, she placed the phone back to her ear. "I hope you're done celebrating and that you didn't do that shit out in public."

"I did," she said in a sing-song voice. "I even did the ole jump from the old Toyota commercials." In fact, Somalia could hear people talking in the background, as well as, the sounds of an organ playing music.

"Bitch, please don't tell me that your ass is in a church right now, cussing and shit and acting like a banshee."

"I am," Gumby said, once again in a sing-song voice. "Right now, I am at a wedding that I have planned. Oh, I have to go; the bride's bitch of a mother is staring at me. I'll talk to you later. In fact, I'll be by later. Love you. Bye."

"Love you too. Bye."

Gumby did keep her promise and did show up to Somalia's home, a few hours later. Somalia could tell that Gumby was super excited that she was going on this trip to Colorado with her. The woman would not stop talking about their upcoming trip. Then she had dropped a bombshell on Somalia. They would be leaving for the trip in three days.

"Three days? The trip is in three days, Gumby? I can't take off from work for two weeks and give a three day notice!" Somalia leapt off of her sofa and started to pace back and forth. Gumby was certain if she continued, she would've left a dent in the plush carpeting. "... Ooooh, I can't go, Gumby. I can't take off and expect to have my job when I come back! I'm sorry, Gumby, but I can't go."

"Molly," Gumby said, calling her a nickname that she had for over twenty-eight years, "can you please try to see if you can get the time off? I am sure you have plenty of hours to do it. Can you just please try?" To add more persuasion, Gumby threw a real pitiful look on her face. She noticed Somalia's eyes soften up a bit.

"I'll try, but I can't promise anything, chica," she concluded.

"So, let's ask the Big Guy Upstairs for some help" and before Somalia knew it, she was kneeling on the floor, with Gumby and they were praying to God.

After their brief conversation with The Higher Power, Gumby left. She still had a few errands to run before she departs for the trip. But, before she left, she warned Somalia to start packing her clothes, so she wouldn't have to do it on Tuesday morning.

"I can't believe we had just prayed to God for my vacation," Somalia muttered under her breath. "And then, on top of that I just prayed with a person, who cuss and hollered like an idiot in a house of worship, just a few hours ago."

On Monday morning, Somalia had woken up twenty minutes before her alarm clock could wake her. She didn't have a fitful slumber. She was too excited, too nervous and too anxious for this day. Today was the day that she was going to fill out a request for a vacation. She knew that she had plenty of hours stored up, 523 hours and fifteen minutes to be exact, due to her lack of vacations during the five years that she worked at her job. Once she arrived at her job, she immediately filled out the form and placed it on her supervisor's desk. She could barely concentrate on work as she waited for the verdict of her vacation request. She was there for barely three hours and Gumby called her business phone four times already. Somalia had received the news that she was waiting for, when she returned to work after her lunch break. As she neared her cubicle, she noticed a white sheet of paper, lying on her keyboard. With a shaking hand, she flipped the paper over and saw that it was the 'employee's copy' of the request form. On the corner of the paper, her supervisor had written a small message:

Enjoy your vacation

Seeing those words written on that paper, she felt like jumping for joy. She immediately had called Gumby to report the good news. Once again, Somalia had to pull the phone away from her ear due to her best friend's screaming. After work, Gumby had forced Somalia to meet her in the uptown section of Manhattan, so they could go shopping for clothes and accessories.

For Somalia, it's been years since her last shopping spree, so it felt weird for her. Every time she picked something up that she liked, a feeling of guilt had washed over her and she would change her mind about buying it. Gumby had watched her 'spiritual sister' pick up numerous items and placing them back on the racks, about twelve times, before deciding to say something.

"Molly, buy something that you like."

"I will, I will, I'm just looking for the right thing—

"No, you're looking for the cheapest thing to buy and then you're going to go over to the boy's section and pick out a ton of stuff for Jules. I know you, Spiritual Sister, you ain't fooling me. So you might as well pick up that fly-ass dress that you've checking out and buy it. Cuz, if you don't, I will buy it for you," Gumby said to her, while holding a leopard-print dress up to her petite frame.

"It's..." Somalia started out saying, before her voice trailed off.

She felt that lump return to her throat and the stinging in her eyes again. She didn't want to have a 'woe is me, the single mother' emotional breakdown in the middle of the ladies' department of H&M store. She felt Gumby stand by her side and place a hand on her shoulder, as an act of comfort.

"...it's hard for me to treat myself to something nice. If I do buy something for myself, I end up feeling like shit. I start to think that the money could've gone to something useful like towards the light bill or to Jules' college fund or something."

"What you're feeling is normal for a lot of moms, especially for single moms. Hell let me be the bearer of bad news: that shit doesn't change when your baby grows up to be a man, especially when he's going to shower your ass with gifts. If you want an example, look at me. I send my mom countless of gifts for her birthday and she tells me the same ole' thing: 'Gadara Lee, you don't have to give me gifts. Keep your money and buy yourself something nice'. It's annoying. Luckily for her, I don't have money to buy her house. If I did, I think I might have to kill her ass, taxidermy her corpse and prop her up in the house, because that's only way she is going to make use of it. Oh, goodness, can you imagine that? You see my dead, stuffed mom propped up in the kitchen. 'Hey Mama Laurie, how are you?' And all you see is this..."

Gumby, while still holding onto the dress, posed in a ridiculous pose with a creepy smile on her face. Somalia burst into a loud and raucous laugh.

"...Then, I going have to put some wheels on the base board of the mount that she will be nailed on..."

Somalia's laughter interrupted her monologue. Gumby noticed that her friend was doubled over in laughter.

"...I'm going to have to place wheels on the bottom of the baseboard, so when I want to easily move her; I can just push her..."

Another one of Somalia's laughs had interrupted Gumby's story and it led to Gumby laughing along with her.

"For-for-for Halloween, I can have a...{wheezing and then laughter} a haunted mansion and I can dress her up and placed her in a dark corner...{more laughter} and when kids come inside I can pull her out of the corner, using a string..." Gumby couldn't finish her story anymore because she fell into a laughing fit. The two women were a distraction for some other customers, because a store employee had approached them, to see what the commotion was about.

"Oh, sir..." Somalia said in a rushed tone of voice. "...My companion and I were having a little joke, I'm sorry for our obnoxious behavior."

"Well, that's all right" the man said to the both of them, while eye-fucking Somalia the entire time. "Just please keep it down".

"All right, thank you" she said to him.

"Yeah, thanks, Mister H&M Employee Man," Gumby said to him as he went back to his station. "See, that shit was your fault and now we have Mister Tight Suit Man staring us down. Thanks to you and that booga-wolf, countrified hog-calling laugh of yours."

"Oh, fuck you," Somalia said to her, with a feign anger to her voice.

"Well, fuck you too. Now let's go and find something to buy."

"Gumby?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for the laugh."

"You're welcome, Spiritual Sister."

~oMRo~

It's been a little over eighty minutes since the plane had flown off of the runway, at JFK Airport and has been airborne. Since setting foot inside of the first class section of the airplane, Somalia found the whole situation to be surreal. Everything from the hospitality from the flight attendants to the décor of first class has been superb for Somalia. She also noticed that Gumby was enjoying herself too. In fact, Somalia has caught Gumby taking several pictures by using her using the camera feature on her iPhone. Somalia didn't say anything about it until it was dinner time. They was just served some fancy entrée that consists of a clump of seasoned cream, a sprig of parsley and a prawn that was the size of Somalia's fist.

"Dude, what the hell are you doing?" Somalia had asked her, in a whisper.

Gumby was holding her iPhone in front of herself. It was hovering over her plate of food. "I'm going to take a pic of my food and put it on my Twitter page, chica" she informed her.

"What-in the-hell; you know that you're acting like you're straight off of the boat, you know that right?"

"Fuck you," she sung as she snapped a picture.

"Fuck you too and that lame ass Twitter page that you have," Somalia said, before eating her meal.

"You're just jealous that you don't have a Twitter page."

"I don't have a Twitter page, because I got shit to do during the days," she informed her.

"Molly?"

"What?" Somalia gazed up, while savoring the tasted of the cream off of the fork. She looked over at Gumby and had her picture taken. Her former sister-in-law giggled and looked at the result of her handiwork.

"This..." she said as she shown the picture to Somalia. It was a picture of Somalia, with the fork inside of her mouth, in the throes of enjoying the food. Her eyes were somewhat close and she had a slight grimace on her face. "...Is definitely going on my Twitter page..."

The flight had lasted a total of five hours and twenty-eight minutes. Somalia had taken a nap that lasted throughout the first film that was shown, a foreign film. From what Gumby had told her, it was one of those types of films that no one has heard of, but it always will win an Academy Award. The second film was one of those action films that starred Matt Damon, she barely watched, as she read several magazines and half of a novel. It was during the viewing of the third film, when the passengers were notified that they were about to land and that they had put their seat belts back on.

Even though, through her common knowledge, she knew that hours here, in Colorado, were a few hours prior to the ones in the east coast, her body was still on east coast time. She was tired beyond measure. She could feel her eyes flutter as she stood in front of the conveyor belt that dispensed passengers' luggage. Seeing her two bags, she pulled them off of the device and sat them next to her. Now, she was waiting for Gumby's luggage set, which wasn't hard to miss ever since it was a Hello Kitty luggage set. Gumby, after drinking every available beverage that was given to her during the travel, needed to use the bathroom. Somalia told her that she would fetch both of their luggages. She was surveying the conveyor belt, for Gumby's bags, when she heard something that she thought had made her heart stop.

"Big Rhonda?"

~oMRo~

"Do you mind telling me what that was all about, my Spiritual Sister?" Gumby asked her former sister-in-law.

"Nothing," was her answer. It came out brusque and through clenched teeth.

Gumby could tell that her friend was not in the best of moods, so she decided to leave her be. So, she turned her attention towards the scenery that was outside of the shuttle bus. A long bout of silence wafted through the mini-bus, before another word was spoken.

"Gumby how was your high school years like? What I mean is, were they happy years or were they bad? Were you a part of the popular clique or were you an outsider?" She asked these questions as gazed out of the window.

"My high school years were great, well, not always ever since my mother did not want me to turn out like her," Gumby answered. "Why do you wanna know about that? Did something happen to you in high school that has something to do with what went on at the airport?"

"Yeah," she sighed.

A few hours prior...

"Big Rhonda?" she heard from behind her. She felt her pulse quicken, her heart beating rapidly against her chest and an anger that she thought she have gotten rid of, resurface. She had taken her time and turned around to see a familiar face.

"H-hello, Hill, how are you?" Somalia said to her.

"I'm doing great. How about you?"

"I'm doing all right. How's the family?"

"My family is doing well. Mom and dad are contemplating about moving to Texas, so they can be close to my grandmother—

"Mother Abilene? Is she all right?" For a brief second, Somalia lost her anger and became concerned.

"Oh, yes, she is fine. I think it's just that my mom is sick of living in New York," answered Hill with a slight smile on her mouth and with a sight wave of her hand. A few seconds of silence had crossed between them before she spoke again. "How is your family? My mom had told me that your brother Peter and his wife just had a baby."

"Yes, they had a baby boy two months ago. They named him Samuel," Somalia informed her.

Then an uncomfortable silence has fallen between the two of them. During the silence, both women shyly glance at each other as they sized up one another. Somalia thought Hill was dressed like a person who had an important role at her job and she did important things. Somalia believed that Hill's suit cost more money than the amount that is in one of her paychecks. It was set that consists of a blazer and an A-line skirt that reached to her knees. On her feet, she wore a pair of high heels that formed into a point at the toe. Her long, swan-like neck was adorned with an embellished, gold necklace. Her shiny black hair was pulled back, away from her face, and kept away with the aid of a head band. Her makeup was minimal.

Suddenly, Somalia felt self-conscious, an emotion that she was used to feeling, since the age of twelve. "So—

"Hey, Molly, did my bags come out yet?"

It was Gumby. She had returned from the bathroom. Somalia had breathed a sigh of relief. She noticed that Hill had done a quick perusal of Gumby and her opinion of Somalia's friend was evident on her face. Somalia had to bite down the urge to say something to Hill.

"Well, hello there" her best friend said to Hill.

"Hello" was Hill's only reply. The greeting was short and lack genuine interest. Somalia had taken this time to introduce Hill to Gumby and vice versa.

"Hill, I would like for you to meet, Gumby. Gumby, this is an old friend from high school, Hill."

"Gumby?" Hill had said, incredulously. "Your parents named you Gumby?"

Somalia felt her hands curl up into fists and the urge to knock this bitch on her ass was overwhelming.

"No, actually my name is Gadara Lee, but Gumby's my nickname. In fact, Molly's son had given me the 'Gumby' name, when he was two years old. He kept saying 'Gumby' and while I was trying to tell that my name was Gadara Lee..."

Gumby started to laugh at the memory, but stopped when she seen the dead-pan expression on Hill's face.

"... It was one of those moments that you had to be there for. So, what are you doing here in Colorado? Do you live here or are you on vacation?"

"I was about to ask Big Rhonda the same question, before I was interrupted. Are you guys here—

"Vacation," Somalia said to Hill. The way she said it, definitely let all parties know that she was not going to tolerate any more of Hill's insipid behavior.

MimiRose
MimiRose
451 Followers