The Talk: My Version

PROLOGUE:

"The Talk," epitomized in song, fable and hundreds of Loving Wives stories. Most of us have used it as a plot device in at least one or two stories—even me.

The problem with "The Talk" is its believability. Could anyone actually be so stupid as to sit down with their spouse and proclaim their intent to cheat in some manner? The answer is yes, but it's still hard to believe.

So, I wrote my version. I think it's a lot more believable than the usual ploy.

As always, I enjoy your comments so please tell me what you think.

Thanks.

***

The Talk: My Version

I don't usually stop off at a bar on the way home from work but this was an occasion. Jack Kelly, a coworker for the last fifteen years, was leaving the company for a new job. It was his last day and a bunch of the guys were going out to wish him a bon voyage.

I called my wife as soon as I knew so she wouldn't start preparing dinner right away. She thanked me for letting her know and asked what time she could expect me. When I told her no later than eight, she asked me to pick up a pizza on the way home.

It had been a long frustrating week and we were all looking forward to blowing off a little steam as well as toasting to Jack and his new job. We had been at Plato's Place for about an hour when I saw someone I knew walk in. I smiled and waved, but he had his head down and didn't see me. I got the sense something was wrong as I watched him take a stool at the bar and order a drink.

"Someone you know?" asked one of the guys.

"Yeah, a friend. Tina and I sometimes go out with him and his wife. The four of us love a good play, so we always try to get tickets whenever something new comes to town."

"He looks a little down in the dumps."

"Yeah, I noticed."

About a half hour later, our little impromptu party was breaking up. We all made one last toast and wished Jack luck in his new job. Before following the rest of the guys out the door, I took another look to see if Tom was still sitting at the bar. He was, and he still looked as forlorn as when he walked in. It was only quarter after seven, so I thought I'd go over and see if there was anything I could do.

I slid my butt on the stool next to him and ordered us a couple more beers. He didn't know I was there until he heard my voice.

"Don't tell me she sent you to find me."

I assumed the "'she'" he was talking about had to be his wife, Bea. This wasn't sounding good. "Now why would anyone send me out to look for you? Are you missing?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm missing all right," he said with a forced chuckle. "Actually, I'm supposed to be in a couple's therapy session with Bea, but I just couldn't hack it tonight so I blew it off. She called me a couple of times, but I really don't feel like talking to her right now so I haven't answered. I thought maybe she called you and Tina when she couldn't get a hold of me."

"No," I assured him, "I stopped in with some guys from work. I saw you when you walked in so I thought I'd come over and say hi before taking off. I didn't even know you guys were having problems. It sounds pretty serious if you're going to a counselor."

"Yeah, well," he said, forcing another chuckle, "serious is what you get when you find out your bitch of a wife has been sleeping with someone else."

I almost fell off my stool. "Bea?"

"Yeah, my sweet lovable Bea; some guy she works with, or at least used to work with. As soon as I found out I told her if there was any chance of saving our marriage she had to quit her fucking job," he told me while refilling his glass with the beer I bought him.

"You're absolutely positive; no question she was cheating on you?"

"None whatsoever. She'd been fucking that asshole for months. She admitted it the first time we saw the therapist."

"How did you find out?"

"She took me for a fool, that's how. She's worked at that place for over seven years. Never has she had to work overtime. All of a sudden, she's working late one or two times a week. Steve, I ain't no fool. I got suspicious, so one night when she said she had to work late again, I drove over there to see if her car was in the lot. I was just pulling around to the side of the building when I saw her walking out with some guy. They got in his car so I followed them—all the way to the Motel Six on Euclid Avenue. While asshole went into the office to pay for the room she waited in the car. I walked up and tapped on the window."

He took a long drink before continuing. "Steve, I'll tell you, man, I've never gone through anything like this. She cried and begged and made all kinds of promises before I finally agreed to go to couples counseling and try to patch things up but I don't think I can do it, Steve, I really don't."

We sat and talked for about an hour before he decided to go back home. I honestly had no idea if his marriage was going to make it. He was trying, but it was taking all he had. Personally, I thought he was nuts for even trying. That got me thinking.

I called ahead for the pizza but it was about eight-twenty when I walked in the door.

"There you are. I was just about to call. I was getting worried."

"Hi, hon," I said, leaning over to give her a peck on the lips. I put the pizza down on the kitchen table. Tina had already set it with paper plates, a bottle of wine, and two glasses.

"Sorry I'm late. I ran into Tom Hinkle. Did you know he and Bea were having problems?"

Tina hesitated, but only for a second. "Yeah."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"I didn't think Bea wanted me spreading it all over town," she replied.

"Um...am I not your husband? I don't consider that spreading it all over town. Did you know she was cheating on him?"

"No, not at first."

"Not at first?"

"Well, I mean, not until he caught her. She called the next day and confessed the whole thing. I've talked to her a few times since, though, and she's pretty sure they'll be okay."

"I wouldn't put money on it."

Tina suddenly looked up at me. "What do you mean? Bea told me just yesterday that they were seeing a marriage counselor and they were working things out."

"Yeah, well, I talked to Tom tonight and I don't think I'd put too much stock in what Bea is telling you. He's having a really tough time. I think he's about ready to throw in the towel. I could be wrong but I don't think so."

I was still going over things in my head while we sat in silence and took a few bites of pizza. As much as I trusted Tina, Tom's story had my mind swimming in "'what-ifs.'" I decided to bring them up.

"Tina, I love you with all my heart. You and the kids are my whole world. I probably don't tell you that enough, but it's true."

She looked a little shocked. "I know, honey; I love you, too."

"I wanted to make sure you know that because I think we need to have a talk."

"About what, hon?"

"About what we expect from each other as far as fidelity is concerned," I said.

She wrinkled her brow and stared at me with a scowl. "What? You think just because Bea cheated on Tom that I might cheat on you? Steve, that's insulting. I..."

"No, I didn't say that, but we've never talked about it. You know me, I like to have everything out in the open. After seeing Tom tonight I know that if anything like that happened to us, I could never stay in the marriage. I don't care how much counseling we went through. I would also expect you to divorce me if I ever strayed."

"I'd have to divorce your dead body," she growled just before taking another bite of pizza.

I had to laugh. "That's my girl. That's the attitude I'm looking for. Other than maybe at a funeral, I've never seen a man as broken as Tom. The way he talked, those therapy sessions aren't really helping. He said she just talks about why she did it and he talks about how he feels. Every time he thinks that he may be able to forgive her betrayal it's time for another session and he gets pissed off all over again from listening to her.

"On top of that he just keeps questioning his manhood. You could tell by just listening to him that his confidence in himself is shot to hell. He told me it's even affecting his work. He can't concentrate."

"Steve, that's silly. Bea was in a bad place emotionally. That guy at her work took advantage, that's all. It had nothing to do with Tom's manhood."

"Maybe not, but you'll never convince him of that. I just want you to remember that if you are ever tempted. I would not go through what he's going through; I couldn't do it. It would destroy me. If it ever happened to us there would be no second chances and no therapy, just a quick and immediate divorce. It's the only way I'd be able to keep my sanity and move on."

"Steve, I have never..."

"Honey, I know that, honest, but listening to Tom reminded me that we're all human. We all have moments of weakness now and then. Of course, when a person loves their spouse it serves as a deterrent against infidelity, but sometimes love's just not enough. Look at Bea, I have no doubt that she loves Tom, but that didn't stop her. I just think having a clear understanding of the consequences of an affair would add to a person's resolve."

"Sounds more like a threat to me," snarled Tina.

I smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "You mean like divorcing my dead body?"

She laughed. "Yeah, like that."

"Honey, I'm not threatening you, I'm not accusing you, and I trust you implicitly. You and I have always been able to sit down and talk about issues that were important. We've never been afraid to share our views or state our case with each other. We have never talked about fidelity, so I thought we should have a frank discussion, that's all."

"You want frank? I'll give you frank. If I ever catch you with another woman I'll cut your cock off and shove it up your ass before I kill you. How's that for frank?"

God, I loved that woman! I couldn't help the big grin that stretched across my face.

Tina took a sip of wine and looked at me. "So do I get to join in this conversation?"

I wondered what she had to add. I thought I was pretty thorough. "By all means," I told her.

"Well, I was just thinking that maybe we should up the ante in the sex department. Instead of two or three times a week maybe four or five if you're up to it; maybe that would help our resolve if one of those moments of weaknesses pops up."

I shoved the remaining half a slice of pizza in my mouth all at once. It was so full I couldn't talk so I looked at my lovely wife and mumbled, "I'm ready."

She laughed. "Silly man, didn't anyone ever tell you not to have sex with your mouth full. Come on," she said, getting up and heading for the bedroom. "Bring the wine and glasses."

***

I hadn't seen or talked to Tom after that night, nor had Tina talked to Bea. I thought of calling him a couple times to see how he was doing but didn't want to pry so I put it off. I figured he'd call me if he wanted to talk.

About two weeks after our little fidelity talk, I walked in the house just as Tina was setting her cellphone down on the coffee table. She gave me my traditional welcome home hug and kiss before she spoke.

"Well, you were right."

"I was," I said, acting excited. "Did you mark it on the calendar for me?" I didn't get quite the cheery response I was expecting. "What's the matter?"

"Tom filed for divorce. Bea is devastated. She was bawling so hard when she called, it took me twenty minutes to understand what she was saying. She called around three and I was just hanging up when you walked in. I hope you're not real hungry because I haven't even started dinner yet."

I was sorry to hear about the divorce. I had hoped they'd somehow work things out. When something like that happens it makes a guy like me appreciate what he has all that much more.

"I'll tell you what, let's go out to eat."

"Really?"

"Yes, really, and afterward we'll find someplace where couples dance with their arms around each other. Then I thought we'd drive up to the lake and watch the sun come up. We haven't done that since we were kids.

The End.