tagHumor & SatireThe Tantra Machine for Men

The Tantra Machine for Men


Hello, Sir and welcome to the Institute!

Thank you so much for agreeing to come in today and help us test our newest device. The data we collect and your feedback will be most useful in bringing this great new product to market and helping men everywhere achieve heights of sexual satisfaction never before attainable. I can't tell you how excited we are about this breakthrough. It's really going to take the industry to a whole new level. I'll explain everything as we go along and I'll be here at all times. I assure you that your safety is our first concern, so please just relax and enjoy the experience!

Now if you'll please step into the cubicle here and remove all your clothing and put on the patented Sensor Smock required for the test, we can begin. The Smock itself is an integral part of the new system. It's made of a special conducting micro-filament material that picks up your vital signs and transmits them directly to our computers while still being reasonably loose. It's vital that we have unimpeded access to the genital area and yet we also need to monitor your physical state at all times. It's really revolutionary and so much more pleasant than the traditional stick-on sensors.

All changed? Step this way, please.

Now please get up onto the special contoured platform and make yourself comfortable. Place your right leg on the right leg rest and the left leg on the other leg rest. That's great. Hold still just a minute while I tighten the straps. Oh yes, I assure you it's quite necessary to strap the legs at both the ankle and thigh. It's for your own safety! Very good. Now let's do the arms. Take a minute to test the straps, please. Everything looks quite secure and snug. Nothing's pinching I hope? Good! Let me place the vision shield over your eyes now. I know it seems like it's not necessary, but for testing purposes we need to have data that is as pure as possible, without outside influences and well, you know a lot of men are quite visually oriented. I hope you understand. Thank you! I'll be right here and will explain everything as we go along.

I'm going to use the platform remote control now to move your body into the proper position and alignment. You'll hear the motor running and feel the various parts of the platform shift, but I promise you won't be made uncomfortable in any way! Ok. Now you should feel the leg rests moving outward. Please tell me when you feel it's as wide as it can go without discomfort. Great. Now you will feel your upper body and legs move downward and your hips rise. Oh, yes, there are several reasons we must do that. For one, it gives us maximum access to the necessary areas and secondly, it prevents you from attempting to control the action yourself by making any hip thrusting movements quite impossible, which is important for data purity. If you'll try it now, you'll see what I mean. Excellent! We can proceed.

You'll feel my hand on your leg now. I'm going to raise the hem of your smock up to your waist and prep the area. Oh excellent! I see you are already aroused. That makes my job so much simpler! I need to do a quick shave here so the sensors can get proper readings. I promise I'll be careful and gentle. Our shaving lotion is the best available -- guaranteed to moisturize, lubricate and avoid any irritation at all, while providing a smooth clean shave. It's best if you try not to think too much about my hands touching and manipulating you. I assure you I am a competent professional and this will only take a few minutes!

There! Now that wasn't so bad, was it?

Give me a sec here while I set up the machine. It'll only take a minute to attach the Continuous Lubrication Conduit to the Action Sleeve... and now, are you ready for the Sleeve to be lowered onto your erection? It won't hurt I promise you that! You should be feeling it now -- the opening of the warmed sleeve at the tip of your penis. Is the temperature ok? I can adjust it however you like. Ok. Let's slide it on for size now! I'll take it slow -- count of five. One... Two... Three... Four... Five... There we go -- it's on! How does that feel? Too tight? Too loose? Is the lubrication level sufficient? All fully adjustable, temperature controlled and texturally designed to feel like a real vagina!

Now let me explain how it works. The Tantra Machine uses the continuous feedback of the micro-filament sensors in your Smock to decide how to control the movement. The intent is to bring you as close as possible to the brink of orgasm and keep you there as long as possible without going over. The sensors make it possible to know at all times what your level of arousal is. The machine employs a variety of movements from quick strokes, to very slow ones, even rocking or orbital motion, and our latest patented addition: an impressive menu of internal flexing, squeezing and massaging motions that can occur along with the stroking or by themselves. If you get too close to climaxing, the movement may stop altogether until control is regained. The previous record is 1 hr, 12 minutes and 32 seconds. But I've got a good feeling about you, sir. Maybe today there will be a new record!

Shall we begin? Excellent. You should be feeling the sleeve begin to move now. Let me know immediately if you want a change in temperature or lubrication. Yes, it's moving steadily now and I can see from the monitor here that the flexors are coming into play. Oh, you're doing so well! Yes, please feel free to moan or call out as much as you want. I guarantee the room is fully soundproofed. No one will hear you but me.

The sensors are showing a very high level of arousal now. You should be experiencing significant feelings of impending climax. Yes, there we go. The machine is stopping for a moment, just as it's supposed to. Yes, I know it's frustrating when it stops at the top of a stroke with only the glans encased in the sleeve. We're working on that, but can't do anything about it right now! Ok, here we go again. A very slow pace with long strokes is usually quite effective at this stage. I'll just leave you here for a moment while I run get some coffee. I'll be right back!

. . .

Sorry about that! Yes it did take a little longer than I expected -- had to start a new pot of coffee and I took care of some paperwork while I was waiting and then Janet needed to talk about the last batch of reports. Well, never mind. I'm back now. Let me check the readouts. You are really something! Your arousal level is quite steady at 90-95%. What's that? Oh, no, you're not going to die I promise. Your vital signs are certainly elevated, but they are well within safe ranges for a man of your age and fitness level. Please don't worry! You can take much more with no permanent harm. You have managed to keep the machine moving without a stop for an astounding amount of time now! I can see you have exceptional endurance.

. . .

Listen, can I tell you something? No, I really shouldn't. It's so against the rules. Never mind...

Well... it's just that I sometimes get so involved in work here at the Institute that I really don't have time for a private life of my own. You know? And I see all these men come and go for the research. I know we're doing important work here. But it's hard not to... well... not to be affected by it. You know? And you seem special to me. I don't know what it is, but I want you to know that, well... it's a turn on to see you there with your cock so hard and your body sweating and straining against the straps. I can't help but be aroused at the sight. And the sound of your passionate moans will haunt me tonight I know! Sometimes I wish I could be the machine, you know? I imagine it's my own pussy up there, sliding up and down. I can almost feel it when I look at you. Sigh. Would you... would you... well... mind if I um... well this is a little embarrassing... but I'd like to masturbate while watching you. Is that okay? I'll... um... just slip off my panties for a while here. Oh god, I'm so wet already. What is it about you? Mmmm... oh yes... oh god this won't take long. I'm so close already. I know you can't see me, but I'm watching that machine move on your body and I'm stroking my clit. Oh! Oh yes... oh god oh godohyesss!

. . .

Jeezus, I needed that. I know I shouldn't have done it. It probably ruined the data. I can see that the machine had to stop for a while there. But thank you. I know it's a little strange but I just feel I can trust you.

Oh damn! I'm afraid I kicked the machine control case pretty hard just then when I... well, you know. It's just a small dent. I sure hope I didn't damage anything!

Look at you there. You're so amazing. Most men would be hysterical for release by now. And you've certainly been doing your share of hollering! But you've stayed with it, with that warm, lubricated sleeve continuously stroking and massaging your erection. I've never seen anyone stay quite this hard for this long. Do you know you've completely smashed the old record? You've held steady within a 10% range of climax for nearly two hours! Sigh... what I would give... well, never mind...

Anyway, Mr. Incredible, even superheroes have to stop sometime and it's nearly quitting time for me. Let's crank this thing up and let you see what it's like to experience a release after two hours in the Tantra Machine! I assure you it's a memorable experience! Ok, let me switch to Completion Mode. The machine will not stop anymore until you've climaxed. After that, the built-in sensors will automatically switch to Cool Down Mode and will allow you to return to normal at a scientifically optimized pace. Are you ready? Here we go. You'll notice the motion has changed somewhat. The machine is still monitoring your state, but now the purpose is to allow your natural responses to carry you into complete release. Just relax and let it happen. That's it. Oh yes, you're doing so well. Don't resist it. Feel the full energy of the past two hours well up and explode. Oh yes oh yes. Here it comes. Go ahead and scream as loud as you want. Let it all go. Ohhhhh wow. Keep going. Yes. Yes. Oh my, that was really remarkable!

Ok, now the machine will switch to cool down mode and we'll get you out of there. Wait a minute... Something's wrong! Why isn't it going to cool down mode? Damn this thing! I'm so sorry... this has never happened before. I must have broken a relay when I... well, when I kicked the panel. Hold on just a sec. It's really not a problem. As soon as you become soft, you should slip out of the sleeve naturally and then we can get you out of there. Just hang in there a moment.

Oh dear, this is a dilemma! According to your readouts, you've moved directly into a second arousal state without ever softening enough to get you out. No I don't dare try to force it -- it's too dangerous. I'm just going to have to leave it running for now. I'm so sorry about this! Please try and hold on until I can return with the tech support staff. Oh god! I wish we'd never outsourced help to India!

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