The Touch Ch. 34

It has got to be a married man I thought. Somehow I would not have pegged Anthea as the sort to have an affair with a married man. Bloody hell I thought, she should have my secrets to keep. Having an incestuous love affair with your mother is not something you can shout from the rooftops, no matter how much you may want to declare your love to the world.

She had pulled on her knickers and top, I guessed that she was going to take her bra home in her handbag; beneath her thick cardigan it was not going to notice that she wasn't wearing it. She wasn't making any move to get up and so I stayed beside her and wrestled my way into my shorts, jeans and socks still sitting down.

She was still crying and I picked up her hand and gently kissed the backs of her fingers. "Is it something I can help with... is there anything I can do...? " I asked.

"Oh God, Jamie... I really wish that I could tell you... I need to tell someone, but if I did you would hate me... I mean really hate me... you wouldn't understand... nobody can!"

"Try me... I absolutely promise that what ever you tell me will stay between us... and there is nothing that you can tell me that will make me hate you... not after tonight." I leaned over and kissed her on the top of her head comfortingly. "Is it about this guy you are in love with?" I was guessing that it was a guy not a girl. She didn't wear a ring and so I assumed that it must be a boyfriend.

She just nodded. "His name is Daniel."

"And he is what? Your boyfriend?"

She started to sob again and then took a deep breath and said very slowly and distinctly, "No...Daniel is not really my boyfriend...he is my brother!"

"He is your brother... and you are in love with him... and does he know?"

This was just too bloody close to home. I could not help thinking about what was happening with Emma and had already happened with Gwen. I had thought that whatever her problem it could not be as bad as incest but then that is just what it turned out to be. It took me a moment to absorb what she appeared to be saying.

"There I told you that you would hate me!" she gasped. I hugged her close again and turned her face to mine so that we had eye contact.

"I don't hate you Anthea...not at all. You probably won't believe me but I genuinely do understand...I really do."

"I need to tell you about me and Daniel," she said calmly. "I know that it is wrong and I know that it should not happen, but I really do love him... and he loves me ... even though we are brother and sister."

"OK, start at the beginning," I told her and lit another couple of cigarettes and handed her one.

She floundered a bit at the start but then the story began to come out.

"Daniel and I had always been close as children, he is twenty-seven now, two years younger than me; we always looked after each other especially after our mother died eight years ago. Mother and Daddy were in a car crash... she was killed and Daddy had a broken spine and has been in a wheel chair ever since, but he has changed, become mean and spiteful, especially towards Daniel."

She took a deep drag on her cigarette, looked at me and then went on. "Daniel and I were both at University... we both wanted to be history teachers... but Daniel took Mother's death really hard almost to the point of a breakdown, he came down from Cambridge and moved back in with Daddy, which was a mistake as they never got on and Daddy almost drove him to suicide. I stayed on at Cambridge as I was close to finishing my degree and I was engaged to another student, a guy called Gerry."

There wasn't much that I could say or do and so I just hugged her and nodded for her to continue.

"By the time that I came home Daniel was in a terrible state and so I moved back in with them. Gerry couldn't take Daddy and as I would not move to London with him we split up."

"So how did you and Daniel...?" I prompted.

"Because Daddy couldn't make the stairs anymore we started spending our time in my room so that he couldn't get at Daniel.... We were all we had, we became everything to each other. You need to realise...Daniel was very fragile, on the edge of breakdown, he needed me and soon we had moved on from being siblings to being really good friends. He started sharing my bed at night.... Not for sex... his problems had left him impotent... just for comfort. Then suddenly we realised that we loved each other not as brother and sister but as man and woman. For a while it revitalised Daniel, we were happy, we touched, we kissed, and then one night we made love... really made love.... It was beautiful."

"I am guessing that something happened to spoil that?" I asked gently.

"When Daniel realised what we had done he was horrified. We had fully committed incest, we had slept together, and he couldn't cope with that." She was crying again the tears rolling down her cheeks. "We still sleep together, we kiss and sometimes he touches me, makes me orgasm.... But we have never had sex again, not properly, he just isn't able to do it ... erectile dysfunction his therapist calls it."

"Anthea, I am so sorry.... " There was no point in offering help. I more than anybody knew that there was nothing any outsider could do. I felt as though I wanted to share my own situation with her, the relief and comfort of mutual understanding, but I couldn't, at least not yet, perhaps if I got to know her better.

She was drying her eyes and trying to tug on her skirt when she suddenly realised that the light from the window had turned from gold to grey, she looked at her watch. "Oh hell, Jamie... it is gone nine ... unless I leave right now I shall miss my last bus home."

"Forget the bus, I'll take you home .... I would have done so anyway."

"Oh, thank you, " she said, "For everything ... for being there when I needed you... I still don't know what came over me so suddenly... and for listening and not judging me."

"I hope we can still be friends?" I asked her.

"I think we shall always be very special friends from now on," she smiled. She found her spectacles and put them on, they seemed to complete her face; Anthea was one of those girls whose looks were actually enhanced by her glasses. "I will come in here over the week-end and see if I can find out anything more about Shelby House ... perhaps later you could arrange for both of us to do some work with the original books in Ms. Shelby's library... you could tell her that I am your official researcher." We both laughed. I would certainly speak to Philippa, she had already offered the library to me but I was not sure how she would feel about my bringing in another woman.... two in fact, as I wanted Becca to also be involved with the designs. I seemed that I now had an official artist and an official researcher on my personal team; I was quite impressed with myself.

I drove Anthea home and dropped her off at the end of her road, out of sight of her house, she actually lived only a few minutes drive away from my own home. I gave her a parting hug and a chaste kiss on the cheek and was surprised when she clasped my face and kissed me full on the lips, a long, deep, passionate kiss. Neither of us remarked on that kiss or said anything sentimental; we just agreed to speak on the telephone in the next few days.I watched her in the rear view mirror until she turned into her driveway.

That evening with Anthea had come right out of the blue, it had been totally unexpected, I had gained a new friend, I was glad, real friends are hard to come by. I didn't think that I had gained another lover, we would probably meet up, enjoy each others company, work together but I didn't think that sex would be on the agenda for a second time.... But who knows what the future may have in store.

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GF