The Toy Box

He shut my mouth up with bunch of shitty questions.

First he asked me, "So how's life with Vonja?"

He must have known something. I had to admit he had me there, and I told him, "Vonja won't marry me. Her ex-husband wants to come home. He keeps calling and badgering her. Seems he left her for some floozy who turned around and ditched him. Worse, the dumb shit-bird got so involved in a bad lifestyle, too much booze, too many pills, he ended up having a stroke. He's got money; just nobody to take care of him. He wants her to take him back. You know what the dick-head told her? He said, 'whenever he's away from her his life falls to pieces, but when she's back his life soars.' She fell for it. She wants to take the rat-shit back. She says she loves me. She tells me how good I've been for her girls, but she says he was her 'first love'. She can't abandon him. Shit can you imagine' first love'. She can't desert him?"

Then my son slapped me in the face with question number two. It turned out to be a double no a triple whammy. He asked me, "So Dad who was your first love?"

Fucker, he knew the answer to that. I told him anyway, "You know that. I've loved your mother since high school. She went to Saint Bernadette's. I went to public school. Her dad thought I was a piece of shit, but she defied him and chose me anyway."

He asked, "You mean little miss obedient mousy chicken-shit mom stood up to that dragon we call granddad. She faced 'der Fuhrer' down for you? And now you say you either can't or won't pick her up. Shit she's where she is because you abandoned her you heartless bastard!"

He pissed me off, "First I'm not a bastard. Second I never abandoned her; she fucked this up. She was the one who let...you know what go on."

He smiled, the cock sucker smiled, "OK she was, no is, your first love, the one you'll always remember, remember for all time. And yeah she fucked up. She's at fault. It's totally her. It really is too! But now you're going to leave her out there to rot away till she dies. She will dad; she wants to. She'll die. She's so stupid she thinks by dying she'll be redeemed in your eyes, not God's eyes dad - yours."

He kept hammering me, "This woman dad is your first love. You want to die knowing you killed her? So they'll be shoveling the dirt in your face and everybody will be saying, 'good guy, hard worker, moral man, too bad about Jeannie though. He could've...well you know...'"

I didn't have an answer. Then he smashed me in the mouth with one last question, "So you don't love her anymore. You're going to let her just die in that big house you built for her. You're going to show me and Angela you're incapable of a little compassion. All right I can live with that. Still I want to know what you're going to do about those three guys."

I asked, "What do you mean?"

My son said, "Dad...they took your wife. My mom! They used her. They drugged her. They despoiled her. Damn it dad those black bastards got her high and fucked her! They fucking raped her! They fucked my mom! We're men aren't we? We're German. We don't take this kind of shit off people like this. You raised me and Angela to stand up for ourselves. What's mom worth to you? To me? She was your woman! What's your pride worth?"

I was stunned, "You want me..."

He got up and shook his fist right in my face. I never saw him so angry, "NO! We want...I want...Angela wants!"

I shook my head, "No shit."

The last act:

Getting the Freeman's was easy. There were only three of them, and two of us. We got them when they were closing up an open house one night. Angela sat in the car and watched while we took care of it. Jesus, she was more into it than me or Travis. It was hardly a fair fight. It was after dark. They were all older than me; hell the oldest had to be in his sixties. They'd been selling houses and playing basketball, games and shit, all their lives. I'd been working with my hands and using my muscles for twenty years, and my son, remember the Karate lessons? It wasn't artistic what we did, but it felt good. I really bonded with my son that night. When we finished we clasped hands. Then the three of us went out and had a glass of wine, Liebfraumilch.

An epilogue of sorts:

When Travis finished college he joined me in the business. Bright kid that boy; has a lot of good ideas, chip off the old block. I always was proud of him. I knew he'd turn out well.

What to do about Jeannie?

I did go back to see Jeannie. She looked bad, but not as bad as Travis and later Angela portrayed her. I guessed a little lie like that didn't matter so much.

Did I take her back? Hell no! I did move back in the house though. Part time anyway. I decided I'd let her clean my clothes and fix my meals. I felt bad about the shit stains in the toilet so we hired a maid; we've got a colored girl who comes in twice a week, she cleans the house.

Oh and yeah; sometimes when I get horny I let her join me in a session of sex, not love it's just sex. That's still a private matter so don't ask about it. I will admit this; I let her make some suggestions sometimes.

I feel kind of sorry for Jeannie. I don't love her like I once did. I suppose all that died, but I can afford to make her comfortable. I'll never forgive her, I know I'll never be able to forget, but I can't abandon her so we get by.

She's not left out on the decision making anymore. She thought we should have a hot tub so I got her one. She said she'd like a cabin up by the lake, so we bought a lot, not on the water's edge but close, and I'm building something up there. I figure I can go fishing, learn to water ski, maybe get a sunfish and take up sailing. She suggested we go to New York to see a play now and then, so we've been a few times. I always liked going to New York anyway. This isn't just about money. There's more to life than just work. What am I going to do? Buy another ladder?

I almost forgot; she thinks she's going to talk me into marrying her again. I'm getting a lot of flak on that from the kids too. They've both got serious relationships going and are afraid if they do get married and have kids their kids wouldn't understand that their grandparents were living together but not married. Brother they're stupid! We're Catholic so technically we've never been divorced...assholes.

I go out by myself sometimes. I've seen Vonda. Her ex-husband isn't much, and I've told her she shouldn't count on him. Her kids are doing better though, and that matters a lot to her. She and I still manage to find time to be alone together, but I don't think I'd want to marry her now though.

I found out a few things. For one thing a person should listen and not just wait to talk. For another life's too much of a mystery; there are no guarantees. Last I've learned trust is just another five letter word that doesn't mean anything. If you're going to trust somebody; trust in yourself.

And so it goes...

Well that's the end. I thought I tried something a little different this time. Leave a comment. Vote if you're inclined.