The Twenty-sixth

"Oh, my god, I'm sorry, Jack. The poor little mites. What happened to Brian and Marie?"

"An avalanche in the Alps."

"Oh, Jack, I am sorry. Brian was the last of your family, wasn't he?"

"I've still got the children."

"Yes, that's one good thing. I suppose they must have been some consolation to you. Are they here? Oh, god, now that's a silly question for me to ask, of course they are. Now I think about it; I've seen them, haven't I? The two girls are bride's maids and I'll bet that handsome young usher at the church was Graham. I thought he looked familiar when he showed us to our seats. They were so young when I last saw them I didn't recognise them immediately. It must have been the family likeness that made me notice them."

"Yeah, most folks think I'm their real father."

"In a strange way, you're lucky, Jack. Do you think it would have been different for us? You know, if we'd had children together?"

"Shall we stay out of uncharted waters, Claire? Now you've got some idea of what I've been up to. How have you been getting along since...?

"Don't ask, Jack. Not too good, I'm afraid. I tried the dating game for a while and met a couple of nice guys. Both of whom turned out to be married so that was the end of them. What others there were, were only after one thing and I made damn sure they weren't going to get it from me.

"There was one guy who I could have really fallen for, but he was arrested for fraud. Luckily before I lent him any money. That turned out to be his modus operandi; he'd meet a widow or divorcee, flatter her silly and ask her to marry him. Then he'd borrow or steal as much cash from her as he could and follow that up with a moonlight flit.

"Anyway I've sworn off men now. It looks like I'm not very good at picking them."

"Oh, um, your not still with Viv, are...?"

"No, I'm bloody not! How could you infer such a thing, Jack? Vivian got married and moved out of town about a year or so after our divorce. I've hardly seen her since." I sensed Claire was angry with me but she was doing a pretty good job of controlling her feelings.

Ah now, you won't know about Vivian; I'd better tell you. Vivian had been Claire's closest friend and confidant in the latter years of our marriage; whilst, that is, Claire and I were in open warfare. In the heat of battle, I'd hinted quite often that there was something funny about the two women's close relationship. Yeah, you get the idea - not very nice of me, but all's fair in love and war.

It was nonsense, of course. If Claire had only known about the times when we'd first met her that Vivian - who was divorced, by the way - had made several passes at me. Christ, just after the divorce was finale, the bloody woman even rang me up one evening and invited me to join her in bed at a local hotel, although I never did tell Claire about any of that, not that she would have believed me anyway. Oh, and no, I didn't!

No, the digs and not so subtle hints I had made about Claire and Vivian's friendship were all part of the on-going battle between Claire and I. I suppose the inference I'd just made was the fallout from the old war. You know, old habits die-hard.

"I wasn't inferring anything, Claire. I was just asking."

"Come on, Jack, you know me better than that. No, I've just given up looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with." I sensed Claire trying to get her emotions back under control and remain civil. "If a man turns up in the future, then so be it. But I'm not actively looking for anyone anymore. And what about you, how's your love life been going?"

"Not a subject I like to talk about Claire. Not that I've had much time left to chase after women in the last few years. What with looking after the children and holding down a job at the same time."

Claire looked thoughtful for a few seconds. "Would you mind if...? What I wanted to ask you was, may I meet the children, Jack?"

"Of course you can. After all, you are kind of related to them."

"I suppose I am when it comes down to basics. Am I still their Auntie even if we are divorced?"

"I haven't got the faintest idea, girl, but I can't see why not. Whatever you're their godparent anyway. Come on, I'm sure they'd love to meet you again."

"Hmm, not a very good godparent, am I? Do you think they will remember me? They were all quite young when we...."

"I'm sure they will, Claire; they've seen you enough in Brian's old cine-films."

The tune ended -- well, it could have been the second tune, I have no real idea exactly how long Claire and I had been dancing and talking. Then I led Claire over to the table where just about all of what remained of my family and my closest friends were sitting.

My oldest daughter, Angela, jumped up as we approached and threw her arms around Claire. She had obviously remembered her. I didn't get a chance to make any formal introductions, as Kylie and Graham quickly followed suit. Although I'm not sure the younger two, besides having seen her in those films, would have remembered Claire from when we were married.

Kevin came over and collared me for something. When I got back to the table, I found Claire and Brenda in deep conversation. When Brenda saw me approaching, she smiled and, rising from her seat, dragged me back out onto the dance floor.

"My god, Jack, how did you let her get away?"

"Wow, Brenda, don't let looks fool you. I told you, Claire and I were at war for the last few years of our marriage. We couldn't stand the sight of one another by the time it ended. You know sometimes love is not enough."

"And the reason you were fighting?"

"Buggered if I know, Bren. We just rubbed each other up the wrong way, I suppose. We forgot that marriage takes a little work. You know what I mean."

"No, I don't! Are you telling me something was missing from your lives."

"I suppose it was, but I've no idea what."

"Children?"

"Ah, sore point there. Oh, Christ, Brenda, don't mention children to Claire. She's not infertile but she's got a problem, you know. She can't carry an embryo successfully. God knows we tried enough times. Try to make sure no one else talks about babies either; Claire can get quite upset by the subject."

"Jesus Christ, Jack, I thought you had some brains in your head, but sometimes you can be a real idiot!"

"Do what?"

"Children, Jack, the moment I asked why you never had any. You tell me not to mention children to Claire. That means you are aware that she was upset about not being able to have any."

"Of course I was aware. Once we discovered Claire had a problem we never discussed children again. God, I bent over backwards not to upset her with the subject. I did everything I could to make sure the subject of children wasn't brought up when she was around. Damn it we rarely visited my brother and steered clear of my folks whenever I thought Brian and the kids would be there. Christmas, Christenings and things were bloody murder.

"And you still don't understand why your marriage failed."

"No!"

"Look over there?" Brenda said, as she swung us around so that I could see our table. "Look at Claire with the children, you fool. That's what I'll bet went wrong between you two. She's a lovely person and a natural mother if ever I saw one. Just like you're a natural father. Remember how the children accepted you in place of their parents and now look at how they are enthralled with Claire. I think Claire thought she was letting you down by not being able to give you the children that you desired. And it could be that you showed some resentment to her also."

"Hold on there, Brenda. You've only just met Claire, you don't know anything about her or our marriage and what went wrong with it."

"I'm a pretty good judge of people, Jack. No one pulls the wool over my eyes. Not even you!"

"Now don't you go getting any of your ideas, Brenda. Claire and I divorced a long time ago. We are two different people now."

"All right, Jack, if you insist, I'll hold my peace. But I can see when two people are made for each other. Even it they can't!"

"The tune ended, but before I had returned to my seat, Angela came up and wanted to dance with me. Angela is my second favourite dance partner. I'd originally learnt ballroom dancing with Claire, but I'd hardly danced at all, after we'd divorced. When Angela had taken up dance classes, she'd wanted her brother to go with her as her partner. Young Graham however refused; he didn't want to lose face with his friends by going to a dancing school with his sister. So that honoured duty fell on my shoulders, and together Angela and I had become pretty good on the old dance floor.

As we danced Angela talked about Claire, as I had surmised she would. But she never made any hints about Claire and I getting together. Looking back now I realise that Angela was the crafty little monkey. I imagine her mind was working the same way as Brenda's, but with a little bit more subtlety.

Let's just say that I was well aware that the terrible three - Theresa, Brenda and Angela - along with help and encouragement from my younger daughter, Kylie, had been trying to get me married off for some time by then. Claire must have looked like a godsend to them.

Why is it that women can't know an unattached guy and not try to either seduce the poor bugger, or marry him off to one of their friends? Or any eligible unmarried female they happen to come across.

Anyway as I said, Angela is a wily little character. Besides saying that she liked Claire and that she wondered why we had separated, she steered clear of the subject. She made no subtle hints about us getting back together. By the time we returned to our table Claire was in the process taking her leave to return to the friends she'd come with.

For those interested, Claire had come to the wedding with one of Kevin's aunts who did not wish to make the hundred-mile drive alone, her husband being out of the country on business that weekend.

As Claire was leaving our table, I decided it wouldn't hurt to have one more dance with her, we'd always liked dancing together, right up to the end. Then I led her back to her friend's table. About an hour later, the group that Claire was with left. Shortly after, Terri and Kevin had made they're ceremonial departure for their honeymoon.

Well, that's what everyone thought. Actually Terri and Kevin had gone to a hotel out on the edge of town for the night. I'd rented the bridal suite for them for their first 'official' night together. The following day I was due to drive them to the airport. But Brenda and I were the only people who knew that.

++++++

I was surprised that over the next few weeks, none of the women in my life mentioned Claire at all. This at first worried me; I don't know why, but it did. I had figured they were thinking along the lines 'he loved her once, perhaps he will fall in love and marry her again.'

After some time I decided I was wrong on that score. I began to think perhaps they realised that loving someone isn't all it takes to make a good marriage. You do have to be able to live with them as well; Claire and I had proved that was the one thing we couldn't do.

However meeting Claire again had brought back the memories of the good times that we'd shared together. And I think those first six years we were married... no, nine, or was it ten years... that we'd known each other, we had some really good times together.

I remembered our first date together. Well, no, that isn't really correct either; it was half of a date actually. I was going with a girl at the time. Oh, god, what was her name? Never mind it's not important. Anyway she asked me to find a date for an old family friend of hers who was coming to stay with her family for a few days.

I conned a pal of mine into coming along. The guy owed me a favour so reluctantly he agreed to come along. We picked the girls up in my friend's father's car and took them to a local nightspot. Nothing special but they had live music there. Claire was very quiet and my friend didn't hit it off with her too well. Actually he spent more time dancing with my date. It was when I was returning from the gents that I caught sight of them smooching away in a dark corner together.

At first I wasn't sure what to do. Punching the guy on the nose sounded like a good option. But I doubted that would it achieve very much except get me banned from the pub. I can't say I was madly in love with the girl... well, that must be obvious, because I can't even remember her bleeding name now.

So I thought to myself, 'Okay, man, you've nicked my date then I'll nick yours,' and I asked Claire to dance with me.

I think for the first time that evening, I saw a proper smile come on Claire's face and it was then that I began to realise just what my so called friend had passed over. Claire was a very pretty girl especially when she was smiling. When the next really slow number started, she moved in real close and, oh, boy, that's when I knew just who had gotten the best cut of the deck.

Claire and I didn't bother to return to the table. After collect her handbag, we left the pub and went for a walk down by the river. By the end of the walk, which I suppose I should add lasted until about two in the morning, I think I knew everything I needed to know abut Claire and she knew my life's history. You know, I still dream about that evening walking along by the river with her.

When we finally got back to the girl's house, I'd arranged to meet Claire again the following evening. Claire was to tell me later that the other girl wasn't impressed with the outcome of that evening. Apparently my so-called mate had borrowed some money off of her to put petrol in the car and had then not even bothered to take her phone number. So we all doubted she'd ever see that cash back. Ah, well, that was her problem. She'd made her own decisions the night before.

Anyway the following evening Claire came back to my place, where she met my parents and Brian. I know, a strange thing to do on your second date, but that's what we did anyway. Claire was a hit with my family straight away and she appeared to like them.

The following day Claire went back to her own home. From then on our courtship was a long distance one, because Claire, as I said, lived in another town. We did manage to see each other most weekends. Either I went up there to stay with her folks, or she came and stayed at my house.

Four months into our relationship, Claire and I first made love. Well, to us it was making love, but it was the first time experience for both of us. Not strictly true, since I'd managed to screw a couple of the local bike's before that evening. But whilst those occasions had been satisfying for me at the time, neither had been a memorable or noteworthy experience that could ever have been described as making love. However things didn't go quite as well as Claire and I would have liked either.

My parents were away that weekend and Brian was out with his fiancée on the Saturday evening. There was no discussion between Claire and myself about us going out that evening as well. I think we both knew what the evening held for us that night and wanted it to happen.

But as I say, it was not the magical experience that we had both envisaged. Although we did actually do the deed three times that night and we were, up to a point, satisfied with the results, but things could have gone better.

Why three times? Well, there were three rubbers in the pack. Rubbers, not the most erotic things that you can come across and they kind of destroy the romantic atmosphere somewhat, don't they?

I will say that we were quick learners though. I think both of us did some really hard reading over the next few weeks, even exchanging the books we had each managed to find. You know finding good books on how to make love successfully weren't all that easy to come by, back in those days. Quite a lot of what the books we found were complete rubbish really, but I think they got our minds working the right direction. After some discussion though there were things we decided we'd leave trying until after we were married.

Anyway we talked a lot about sex when we were together and learnt what each of us liked when we had the opportunity. That was the important thing. We had more chances to get together once my brother Brian had got married. There was no way that my parents or Claire's were going to let us share a bed together. So before Brian got married, I'd give up my bed to Claire and sleep in the lounge. Once Brian had left home, Claire started using his old bedroom and from then on it was a tiptoed creep across the hallway, once the parents were asleep. We did have to keep the noise down though.

After a time Claire went on the pill and that saved us all the problems with what to do with the used condoms. You know the pills back in those days were a lot stronger than they are nowadays. A few years ago I heard somewhere that they had some unexpected side effects for a few women. I've often wondered if they were the cause of Claire's problems, but I suppose I'll never know the answer to that one.

The company that I worked for also had offices in the town where Claire lived. It was about three years after I met Claire that a good position became vacant there; I took the opportunity of a transfer and promotion. Work-wise it was the best move I'd ever made. The company had been having trouble finding the right candidate to fill the position. I didn't really have the right qualifications for the job, but I did have the experience in the office that I worked in and with the way the company did things.

You might say I landed right on my feet, the youngest department manager in the firm. From that move on, I've always been ahead in the game, when it came to the promotion ladder.

Claire and I married a month or so after I took up my new position. Hey, my relocation allowance had helped us buy our first house. Well, it made our mortgage a little smaller than it would have been. All right, the house needed a hell of a lot of modernisation, but Claire and I got stuck in and did as much as possible ourselves. Because of that fact, Claire stayed on the pill and thought of children went on the back burner.

Three years later we upgraded to a much newer and larger house. That left us with a larger mortgage though, so Claire had to stay in work for us to afford the payments; so children were still off the agenda. Our sex life had taken off in a big way though. You say it and we tried it and if we liked it we did it often. I don't recall very many things that we didn't like.

Outside work we'd - or rather, I'd - taken up horse riding; Claire was a proficient rider already. It is a hobby that I have continued to enjoy to this day. Ballroom dancing was another pastime we took up together and we were not far short of competition standard before we... well, when the shit finally hit the fan, to be precise.

We'd been married five years when I got another promotion and one hell of a pay rise; money was suddenly no longer a problem in our lives. So we decided the time had come to put children back into the master plan.

Claire came off the pill and we started the routine for getting her pregnant. Right from the beginning we watched her cycle dates very carefully and banged away like a pair of rabbits at what we calculated was the right time of the month. Yeah, we tried all the tricks you hear about. Claire did everything but stand on her head to make sure my little soldiers found their way in the right direction.

After a year we began to think something wasn't right. Claire just didn't fall pregnant. We had the tests done and at first they showed no problem. Actually my sperm count was very high. But after further tests carried out over the next year or so, we were given the bad news about Claire. They was nothing wrong with the eggs that she produced, but there was something about her womb that meant it was doubtful the embryos would implant properly. The few that did she miscarried very quickly.