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Click hereMy mind rushed to consciousness. I felt extremely groggy. I opened my eyes a fraction and noticed the stream of light coming through my curtains of my flat.
I could not remember anything from last night. Was I really that drunk? I only had two shots of vodka. Maybe i'm a lighter weight than i thought.
I got up and opened the curtains. The window was open which was very odd because I never open the window in the winter.
I went through to my kitchen to make myself some coffee and I had breakfast.
Why the hell couldn't I remember anything from last night? I couldn't think straight. I took out a cigarette and lit up. Smoking helped me think. I tried to give up numerous times but all my friends smoke so what's the point?
When I had finished I was so worried about what could have happened last night that I picked up my phone and called Eliza.
"Hello?" Answered a perky voice. Eliza was such an early bird. But then I looked at my clock and saw that it was half past twelve.
"Eliza? Hey, it's Atty." I said.
"Oh hey Atty, where did you go last night?" She asked.
"That's kind of what i was going to ask you." I said. "I can't remember anything. Can you?"
"Yeah. After I left you to see that man, who turned out to be an utter twat, I did three shots at the bar with Artie." Eliza said.
"Artie was there?" I asked. I missed Artie, he had just come back from his gap year, we were great friends at public school. "Anyway, I'll call you later darling."
"Bye."
This was really beginning to freak me out. I went to do my teeth and as I put the tooth brush to my teeth I noticed two puncture marks on my neck. Everything suddenly came rushing back, Tristan, the guy who attacked me. I dropped my brush and stumbled backwards. Oh my god. Vampires where real. This can't be happening. My head was spinning.
The window was open! Tristan must have gone out through my window last night. I rushed to my bedroom and closed the window. Breathing heavy.
"How did you sleep?" A deep voice came from behind me.
I jumped backwards, i looked around and saw the most beautiful but terrible site of my life. Tristan was standing there, wearing a suit as though he was dressed for the city, he looked more handsome than any man i had ever seen before.
"How did you get in here?" I asked.
"Did you really think I'd leave my queen?" He said smiling. "And do close those curtains, I don't really like the light."
"No. Get out of my flat otherwise I'll call the police." I said firmly.
Suddenly within a nano second he disappeared from my vision and had me held in his hand by the neck and my blackberry in the other. He crushed my blackberry in one hand as easily as if it were playdo.
"That's my phone you twat!" I shouted.
"You're going to find that I can be quite persuasive." He said smiling and his fangs popped out. "Do as I say."
I got up and he released me from his grasp and I closed the curtains. Within another second he grabbed me around the waist and had me on the bed again.
"Please don't." I said.
"I will never hurt you." He said stroking my face. He tried to kiss me but i turned away from him. He grabbed my face in an impossibly-strong hand and turned it towards him. "If that's the way you want to play. So be it."
He through me up against the header of the bed as easily if i were a rag doll. He took off his tie and began unbuttoning his shirt. I whimpered against the head of the bed and as he undid the last button he glared at me with a develish smile with fangs showing. They were extrmemely long. He grabbed my foot and dragged me down to him and i noticed the ripped chest bearing the biggest muscles i had ever seen.
He bent down and kissed me full on the lips with strong lips crushing my fragile ones and a toned tongue prying my lips open and forcing itself inside. I could feel his fangs, they were so big. I can't do this. I can't die today. I silently wept as he lifted his face off mine. He wiped the tear away.
"Another day my queen." He said, rebuttoning his shirt.
"What." I said. But before I could do anything more he was gone and a card was in my hand.
It simply read:
51 Hallsey Square
Tomorrow 7PM
I am not going to wait
The plot of the story is not bad but your style misses a lot to be said. Where is the erotic, the romance? So far it is only facts, nothing to endearing this story to the reader...
Get on it and do better. Why donĀ“t yo read Whitesabretooth, Elianna or some of these really great authors first?
This story has potential but some things are not so great as the smoking - I never read about a vampire liking dainted blood through alcohol or smoke...
Somewhat short and rushed. Please, please proofread. I didn't notice outright typos, but you used "through" instead of "threw" which tasks the reader. If you are unsure of word usage, dictionary.com is a great resource.
Hi everyone. I know it was short but it was an important chapter. I've written chapter 3 and it's much longer!
I do love this story, and thats the reason why you are getting a 100. But PLEASE, you have to make it longer. The chapters are way to short.
okay that was freaking short!! The only reason why its getting 100% because I really like it. Please make it longer!