The Vicar of St. Dunstan's Ep. 07

Now came the whisk broom: I traced the stiff bristles on her skin as she moaned. Once I sailed over the edge too quickly and she cooed: "You can do that again. I love the bristles raking my skin, and the stiff brushing is nice, too." Repeated the tracery, I shifted to intermittent brushing motions; her breathing grew faster when I did that, her face contorting with the strokes but returning to joy quickly. I stroked the irritated skin for a few moments with my open palm before brushing some more. She encouraged me more and I swept harder and began to work on her nipples. Her hands opened and close and pulled at her bonds; I knew from her reactions that she was close to orgasm. I went crazy raking the whisk broom all over her breasts, moving around but never letting up, leaving bright red tracery on her skin as she squirmed in her chair.

Her clamped nipples were just starting to turn purple, so I knew it was time to bring her over the edge. My target became her nipples, whipping the broom against them as her mountaintop got closer, closer, closer. "Ow, ow, ow, yes Vic, that's the ticket. Harder, harder, faster, faster, yeoow, yes. Don't stop, don't stop, I'm almost there." As she went over the top, I released the clamps as she howled like a banshee, and massaged the thick nubs as the blood returned to them. Shuddering, she came back down to earth as I untied her hands. Her heads went at first to her tits, but soon they found my pajama bottoms where she pulled out my erection. Her mouth was a whirlpool and her tongue a tornado that quickly convinced my already loaded balls to send rivers of hot, sticky oatmeal down her hungry mouth to complete her breakfast.

My watch told me it was ten minutes to seven, and I relayed that fact to Mavis. She laughed: "I told you so, Vicar. We're done and it's not even seven. You've given me a little ray of sunshine, and we never got 'round to the spatula." She put her nightgown and bathrobe back on and turned to go back upstairs.

"You've got to leave the spurs with me."

"Oh, did these fall in my pocket? How clumsy of me."

"You can find something like this at almost any curio shop over here."

"I'll look for it, Vicar." She smiled and bustled back to the kitchen to reclaim her coat and disappear into the greying day.

I went for a run, then showered just in time to meet the Witsons. Their mood was a little brighter this morning, so I took that as a good sign. They sat in front of me expectantly, on the edge of their chairs. "All right, did you have fun last night?" They nodded their heads like children. "What did you do?"

Percy began: "Well, first we watched Ardal. He was so funny, we had to look at it again."

"He's such an eejjit." Peggy chuckled.

"Then we went to the Pub for some games."

"How did that go?"

Peggy spoke up, "Well, I wiped the floor with him at snooker, but beat me pretty badly at darts and dominoes."

"I never was any good at snooker."

"Whiner."

I broke in. "And what did you do when you got home?"

"Went to bed, Father. We were tired and needed to go to work today."

My hopes dropped like a rock. Once again, I missed, but something was going right and I just didn't know how to spin it. "Did either of you have, warm feelings?"

Percy and Peggy looked at each other and nodded. "Did either of you get a little, randy?"

The puzzlement I'd seen frequently the past four days returned. They didn't connect their activities of the evening to anything in fact, their competition gave them a bond, but not the one I was looking for. Thinking through what I said the day before, I was ready to kick myself: there really weren't any non-competitive bar games. Maybe I was trying to go too fast, but maybe I didn't have the right station for them to tune into yet. Oh shit, I thought, time for a new direction.

"All right, let's keep the light hearted atmosphere going, but tonight focus on being exceptionally kind to each other. Watch a little Telly, have a little laugh, have a good supper, but work at being nice to each other. You know what each of you like; use that knowledge. Anticipate one another's desires. Love is about little things."

"All right, Vicar, we'll give it a go."

A deanery meeting was that day, which meant boring business with the other pastors in the area, but a nice lunch and a chance to hang out with the guys. The Reverend Bill Foster of St. Michael's sat next to me at lunch, an experienced pastor nearly seventy and retiring next year. He was famed at working with couples, so I poured my heart out to him about my frustration working with the Witsons. He though for a moment, and said: "These folks seem to think in catagories: you tell them to have fun, so they have fun; you tell them to go out to dinner, they go out to dinner. They don't see the whole picture or how things work together. You need to break down the compartments in their lives. Try something that will take them out of the ordinary and make them cross boundaries."

"Thanks, Bill. Don't know where I'll go with that, but thanks."

"Hey, the Spirit will lead you at the right time. Have faith."

I returned to work on my sermon after I got home, and by the end of the afternoon it was in good shape. Mavis brought over my Tea, smiling a smile that couldn't be cured with surgery, and I watched a video ofThe Marriage of Figaro recorded at Covent Garden and fell asleep right afterward.

Friday morning was continued gloom inside and out. Percy and Peggy were downcast as they entered my study, and I was taken aback. Shit, what have I done wrong? I should have never tried counseling them, should have sent them to a therapist at gunpoint if I had to. They refused to look at me as they sat there a long moment, until I asked: "How's it going?"

"Fine."

"Fine."

"How did last night go?"

"All right."

"All right."

We sat in silence a while. I wasn't sure how to start with them, and perhaps the lack of input would get one of them to talk. Peggy said at last: "I've failed him."

"Oh?"

"Yes. We had a lovely evening: we had Indian take away, and watched the Telly. Percy was a dream, getting me drinks and holding my hand. I snuggled up to him all warm; it was like we were teenagers again, but we din't have to worry about Mum and Dad finding us. He was sitting on the couch and I was lying with my head in his lap, with my hand on his thigh. Well, his Willie started to get interested, so I just wandered my hand up and down his bulge."

"That sounds good, Peggy. What happened next?"

"Well, I looked up at him and he had this look in his eye. I knew what he wanted, but I've never been able to do it before."

"What that?"

"Take his Willie in my mouth. He hasn't asked me for years, but I know he's seen it in the dirty movies he watches, and I know he'd just love it if I could. So I unbuttoned his fly and his breathing went wild. I took his Willie out and stroked it with my hand. The smell curled my nose hairs, Vicar, but I was determined. Taking a few deep breaths helped me, and the air on his Willie got him harder, so I closed my eyes and put him in."

"What happened then?"

"Well, almost spewed on the spot. The taste was bad, and I kept remembering what my Mum said about what good girls did and din't do, and I always was a good girl, I was." She started crying, and Percy reached out to put his arm on her.

"Maybe if you could be there to help us, Vic?" Percy asked.

"What?"

Peggy cried another minute, then said soggily, "Oh yes, Vicar, we do what you ask us and everything's fine, but we always get stuck and don't know what to do next. Would you help us, Vic?"

Oh boy, what a Friday this was turning into! I looked out the window at the drizzle a moment, then turned to them. "You mean you want me to watch you try to make love?"

"Yes, Vicar."

"Yes, Vic."

I looked out the window and said to them. "I'm not sure. There are licensed sex therapists who know what they're doing that can help you better."

"No, Vic, we won't be having that." Percy said.

Peggy nodded her head. "We can't get naked in front ofstrangers, Vic. We know you; you're like family."

This was crazy. At length, I gave in. "All right, I'll try to help you."

"Grand," said Peggy, and knelt before Percy to unbutton his fly.

"Wait, wait, wait, this isn't the way to do it." Peggy stopped and looked up in dumbfounded. Percy's mouth came open. "Here is not the place to do this, and neither is my bedroom upstairs. Percy, did you and Stan get the old housekeeper's rooms fixed up like I asked?"

"Yes, Vicar. Ready for action."

"And if I remember rightly, there's a huge bathtub in the bathroom there."

"Yes, Vicar. Gigantic, Mrs. Hazelton could take a swim in that bath."

"Be nice, Percy. All right, but you have to do what I say. First, call in sick today at work, both of you. You haven't done that lately, have you?"

"No, Vicar. I'll call now." said Percy. He flipped his cell phone open and hit the speed dial.

"But Vicar, Dr. Roberts is counting on me," Peggy said.

"Look, if need be, I'll talk to Jerry for you. Make the call and see if you can manage it." We need to strike while the iron's hot, and waiting all day will just make things more difficult, I said to myself..

Peggy looked confused, but made the call. After a few moments, she handed me the phone, and I convinced Dr. Roberts to let her off without telling him any more than I had to. "Just call it emergency marriage therapy, Jerry. We need to do this now."

"Are you sure, Alfred?"

"No, but I know now's the time to try. Can you do without her today?"

"Sure, Alfred, we can do without her today. Good luck; I'll pray for you."

"Thanks, I'll need that."

Percy rang off and nodded. Peggy bit her lip and looked anxious. "All right, here we go. Preparation is everything. Peggy, I want you to run a nice, warm bath in the housekeeper's flat, and make sure there are clean sheets on the bed. There's a closet in the connecting hallway that should have everything you need. Then pull down all the blinds of that apartment. Percy, next door is a candle shop. I want you to pick up some scented candles, anything with a berry in it or lavender or sage. Then run by Cliff's down the block and pick up some ice cream toppings: whipped cream, chocolate sauce, sprinkles, mint candies, anything you like. Meet me in the sitting room of the housekeeper's flat when you're done. All right?"

Peggy looked hopeful, but Percy was confused. He sputtered: "All right, Vicar. Are we having ice cream for afters?"

"Yes, Percy, we're having ice cream, but I've already got a full icebox of that, so you don't need to get any."

"Done, Vic. Back in a tick." He bolted out the door, and went down the stairs.

"Are you all right with this, Peggy."

"I guess so, Vic. It sounds strange, but we're counting on you, so I guess I should go along with it."

"Thanks, Peggy. I think it will help. Just relax and get about your work."

She went down the stairs and I followed a minute later. Figuring it would take around fifteen minutes for the tub to fill and Percy to make his rounds, I went over to the church for some quiet time alone. St. Dunstan's is a lovely old church, a miniature St. Paul's, with lots of statues and ornamental carvings. I stopped in front of a fine old oil painting of the Crucifixion.

"You had it tougher I know, but your disciples were pretty clueless too, weren't they? You had to come back from the dead before they caught on, didn't you, and it was still uphill work as you went out to Emmaus that Sunday afternoon. I don't know if I'm helping these people, and what I've got in mind today is pretty crazy, but you must have loved crazy people, and you still do as far as I know. Don't know where this idea came from, but I have a hunch. Help me, please. These are wonderful folks, they need to stay together, and they don't need the pain of splitting up or letting their marriage turn into a sterile wastland. What God has joined, right? Well, I think you've joined these two fairly well, even though they don't know it, we just need to bang in a couple of more nails, so to speak. Amen."

Fifteen minutes later found Percy, Peggy and I sitting in the little parlor of the housekeeper's flat off the kitchen hallway. They looked at me eager to find out what was going to happen next, and I didn't leave them hanging.

"All right, I think the first thing to do is relax and get comfortable with each other. Go back to the bathroom and get in the bath."

Percy leaned forward, tapping his hand on his knee. "Who's first, her or me?"

"Neither. I want you to get in together. I want to you soak in each other's company, wash each other's backs, and so forth. Do you think you can do that?"

"Cor, Vic, that doesn't seem to be something a nice girl would do," Peggy objected.

"Peggy, you're married to each other, and you've seen each other naked, haven't you?"

They both nodded their heads. "Well then it's legal, permitted, approved. You don't lose nice girl status over this. G'wan with you."

Peggy gave me a lost look. "You'll come on back, won't you?" I rolled my eyes. "Please, Vic, we trust you, and we'll get lost again if you don't help us."

"All right, all right. Go ahead and get your clothes off and get into the water; I'll be right there." Passing through the bedroom in the middle, I noticed that Percy had gotten the candles out and put them willy-nilly around the room, but the confections were still in their bags. I got them out and set up a topping bar on the dresser, then lit some of the candles. Peggy had drawn the blinds, and the atmosphere was starting to come around. I heard the sounds of someone entering the bath, and after a moment, another set. Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself: "I guess it's time, " I said, and rounded the corner into the room.

Percy and Peggy were sitting on opposite sides of the tub. Percy was an extremely thin, wiry man: his ribs showed and his chest hair was scrawny and intermittent, just like the hair on his head was becoming. Peggy had a plain face but rather fine ivory skin; the nipples of her 33 B bustline were sagging a little: two inches wide with delicate nubs perking up in the cool air. Fortunately for both of them, the faucet was in the middle of the tub, so neither had it sticking in their back. They looked at me blankly, awaiting instructions.

"How's the water?"

"Fine"

"Fine"

"All right. Peggy, I'd like you to move over by Percy. Sit facing away from him, and put your backside reasonably close to him."

"Father?"

"No, no, nothing down here is going to happen yet. I just want you to get in easy reach of each other, and fairly close. We're going to start with non-invasive touching first." She shifted around as I asked. "Percy, you can put your arms around her, and let her lean back against your chest, but don't get frisky yet. Just hold her there and relax. Relax both of you."

They close their eyes, leaned back in the water and tried to relax. He put his arms around her, and she touched in arms in return. It wasn't exciting watching them loosen up, and two minutes took an hour to pass, but they let go at last and looked relaxed. I brought a washrag and a bar of soap over to them and set it by Percy's hand.

"Percy, why don't you take the bar and the washrag and soap you wife."

Peggy started: "But I took a shower last night and she took one this morning."

"No, no, relax. This isn't really about getting clean, this is about touching each other. It's not free form stroking, it has a little purpose, but you can learn a lot from this. Wet the washrag and get it frothy, Percy."

He looked at me blankly, then did as he was told. Gently, he began moving the washrag on her arms and shoulders. Peg responded to the touch; she was starting to melt. Coming around, he gently soaped her chest and breasts, paying a little more attention to the latter than he needed to. They were beautiful sight, Percy reaching around to adore her breasts with soap and water while she stretched her arms back over his head to caress him, eyes closed, with a look of peace, harmony and affection on her face.

Encouraged, he worked down her little belly and between her thighs. She tensed a moment, and I said; "Relax, Peggy, relax. It's all right, you're married, it's your husband touching you there. Easy, easy, easy." The tension lifted and her breathing began to increase. Percy worked down her thighs and legs, she lifted her little feet out of the water one at a time for him to soap. He looked at me when he was done. "Rinse her off, Percy, rinse her off. That's good." Putting the rag aside, he cupped his hand to pour the water over her, she luxuriated at the touch and moaned. A smile of victory lit up his face, but I shook my head at him. "Stay the course, Percy, there's a longer road than you think."

After he was done, she snuggled back into him and he laid back to enjoy it. I let them relish the situation for a moment, then said: "It's time to turn around kids. Peggy gets behind and washes Percy. No, go to the other end of the tub, that would be simpler. Yes, that's it. Good." They changed ends of the tub with Percy sitting close to Peggy. She needed no prompting to soap the washrag and scrub his arms and torso; he looked awkward but got to enjoy it after a bit. After doing his stomach, she hesitated. "Don't be afraid, Peggy, it's all right. You won't hurt him, and you're his wife. You can wash his genitals. Go on." She reached down and began to soap his penis and testicles, discovering that he was not circumcised. "Peggy, pull that skin back and very gently wash him there. That's probably where the smell is coming from. If you keep him clean, things will go easier." As she did that, his penis started to swell at the gentle touch. "Don't worry about that, Peggy, that just lets you get at everything easier. There's a little gunk there, just rub it away ever so gently." Look over her husband's shoulder, her mouth opened in amazement at what was happening.

He started to wince a bit as his wife scrubbed inside his foreskin. A wounded look came to his face, and I hastened to set him straight. "Bear with it, Percy. If you hang in there, the rewards may be more than you could imagine. You're a man; you can take it." He nodded his head and bit his lip until she was finished with his member.

Peggy continued to scrub down his legs and he lifted his feet, one at a time, out of the water for her to scrub. When that was done, she cupped her hand and rinsed the soap off his body. He settled back into her chest and they luxuriated in the water.

"All right, kids. Stay there as long as you want. When you're ready to move on, I'll be in the bedroom. If you want to make love here, that's all right., but if you don't, that's all right as well. There are towels here for you; you might want to dry each other off rather than do it yourselves."

"Mmmm, yes Vicar," Peggy cooed, "we'll be there in a minute."

Back in the darkened bedrooms, I started lighting candles and made sure my props were ready. Five minutes took an hour to go by, and I heard them getting out of the bath. A glimpse in the bathroom mirror, which was visible from the living room, told me they were taking my advice. They walked into the bedroom together, and I gestured them to lay down on the bed side by side. Peggy's two inch nipples began to perk up once again above her belly and the sweep of her hips; Percy's member was stirring in interest but not yet ready for action. "How was that, kids?"

"Quite nice, Vic," Percy said. "We could do this again."

"Lovely, just lovely. Din't want it end."

I nodded my head. "You can take a bath together anytime if you've got a tub, a shower can be a nice thing to share as well. When you soap each other's genitals, you can take it farther if you want to."