The Vicar

"What're you doing the day after tomorrow?" Katie changed the subject.

"Oh I was considering dropping in on Buckingham Palace for afternoon tea but if you've got a better offer."

"I'm helping a Syrian family become acclimatised to British life," she smiled, "I was going to take them to Madame Tussauds and maybe the museum if we have time."

"Oh, okay," she sank back, "so it's a casual clothes day."

"More or less, have you still got the clothes mum gave you?"

"I do."

"So it's a date."

"It's a date," she nodded and then wondered why she'd said it like that and was she being paranoid but in the end her paranoia was totally unfounded. They went into London and she even got to see Katie's flat in Camden Town, which was remarkably well kept and currently being used by an aid worker called Imran.

"After the cricketer."

"Of course."

That visit was the first of many and she came to look forward to these visits, it felt good to leave the village behind and just head out to London or into the country and somewhere along the line she started changing in front of her, at first not realising it and when she did she apologised, much to Katie's amusement.

"It's not like I'll get an erection, relax this is good for me too."

She'd laughed at that but as Janine put her back to the mirror and stared at the door she sensed that was when she started the ball rolling. In a sense it was her obsession with secrecy and keeping Katie's secret that helped propel it forward. The talk for the local church charity group ended with a night out at the local pub, the Speckled Hen where Katie openly flirted with two men before making the excuse that she had to get home.

"The vicar will have to do her duty and sober me up."

She sobered up pretty much as soon as they got inside.

"Thank God you were with me, I was thinking I might have to out myself."

"I was kind of hoping you would."

"Then you'd have to fight them off yourself," she giggled.

"There is that and all," she collapsed into the couch, "and Harry really needs some personal grooming tips."

"I know a few gay guys who'd love to give him a makeover."

That started her on a fit of giggling that only got worse when Katie started telling stories of some of the gay men she'd known and that moved onto more serious things like the women she'd been involved with, it seemed she attracted needy women like moths to a flame.

"I'm a lawyer, it goes with the territory."

"Me too," she nodded, "I attract those kinds of men as well and trust me, I don't want them confessing things they did in puberty."

So how did it get to this? Janine frowned. She'd never felt sexually attracted to women although she certainly preferred the company of women but that was precisely because sex was off the menu and yet she'd become a part of Katie's life in a totally unexpected way.

The kiss hadn't been unexpected either. She'd started embracing her some two weeks ago and the kiss on the cheek was just a normal thing, she hadn't felt odd doing it. The only peculiar thing that had happened was this very morning when Katie walked into church.

She didn't see her walk in until she stepped up to the pulpit to give the lesson and found herself looking directly at Katie. She was wearing a turquoise pussybow blouse and dark brown skirt with a matching jacket. She took a seat at the very back and Janine thought she detected a slight smile as she started speaking. It was one of the few times she deviated from the standard lesson and opened up about her private life. It was based on the parable of the Good Samaritan and she shared her recent contact with refugees and encouraged them to put themselves in their position.

"Imagine moving to a foreign country and being unable to speak the language. Wouldn't you be grateful for a helping hand? In this country we like to think we are welcoming and generous but all too often we cross the street to avoid meeting people in case we accidentally offend them. Our right wing media encourages this mentality and normalises it but the bible offers a radically different way, to love those who persecute us, to love our neighbours as we love ourselves. It doesn't tell us to love our neighbours unless they're a different colour or religion, it just tells them to love our neighbours as we love ourselves."

It felt as if she was speaking into an echo chamber because few people reacted but Katie thought it was a magnificent sermon.

"If it was considered proper I would have whistled and cheered then."

"Thanks," she stretched out her legs and adjusted her glasses, "perhaps I'll write to the archbishop and ask him to bring out a new law permitting applause."

"Now that might cause as much controversy as gay priests."

"Oh don't get me started on the whole gay priest thing," she picked a ball of fluff from her skirt, "I had a full blown argument with a parish priest over that very issue. He saw it as an apocalypse and even quoted scripture to back up his arguments but I think God is bigger than we give him credit for," she smiled crookedly.

"Would you believe I was actually accused of being a closet lesbian?"

"No," Katie turned to look at her, "by your colleague?"

"He was one of them but he did voice his opinions in certain quarters and I got a phone call from my superior asking if I was in fact kicking for the other team. You could have knocked me down with a feather, it was the first I'd heard of it but I think he was regretting actually making the call by the time I'd finished with him."

"So priests can be petty too, huh?"

"We're all human," she looked down at herself, "beneath these holier than thou clothes is a naked woman."

"I'll try not to fixate on that," Katie slapped her leg, "do you fancy a coffee or something stronger?"

"Maybe a bit of both."

"Irish?"

"Irish sounds good."

The taste of the whiskey had long subsided but she felt its effects, a light headedness that was all too familiar and some years ago she might have blamed the whiskey for that kiss except for the fact it wasn't Katie who kissed her, it was the other way around.

"So do you think the Anglican church will ever accept gay vicars?"

"I think it's inevitable," she replied, "we're haemorrhaging parishioners at an ever increasing rate, we're caught between the constraints of the older generation who are also dying out, and the need to attract the millennials, who have different values. Anyone who's a student of archaeology will tell you that if you don't evolve you die out."

"Wow," Katie sank back against the back of the couch, "that's deep."

"I have to admit I never gave it much thought until I met you."

"Oh?" Katie raised an eyebrow.

"I read the old scriptures again and then some background material. Did you know that the ancients didn't have the same sense of sexual gender identity as we do today? It was common knowledge that if you wanted a baby you needed a man and a woman," she went on.

"But if you just wanted company or intimacy the rules were a little more flexible, it essentially didn't matter as much. That only became an issue when the church started intruding into people's personal lives with a focus on sex, prior to that the church tended to ignore it completely, hoping that the common folk were doomed by lusts that were essentially base but they saw a threat in sexual encounters intertwined with pagan rites."

"I've read that before somewhere," she turned to face her, "sex is just something that happens between two people regardless of their sexual identity. It's become more prevalent these days, I suppose it's part of some big circle."

"Exactly," she put her empty mug on the table, "sometimes I wonder if God is just sitting back with a big smile on his face watching us stumbling toward ecstasy or oblivion."

"Interesting way of putting it," Katie patted the small of her back.

"I remember taking a series of bible classes for teenagers a few years ago and introducing them to the novel concept that perhaps it was God rather than Satan who invented the idea of sex," she smiled crookedly, "it got a few laughs."

"I imagine so," Katie rubbed her back gently, "it stands to reason."

"You'd think so," she swallowed the hurt, "but I got a dressing down from my superior over my casual attitudes to such a serious subject."

"Hey, you," Katie straightened up and nudged her gently, "I for one think you were on the right track. So your superior thought you were being flippant? Big deal. I've had judges rule against my clients and I thought they were full of shit even though I had to accept their ruling. A fancy wig or a gown doesn't make you superior, it's what's in here," she tapped her head, "and here," she tapped her breast.

"We've got the seeds of immortality inside us, we have a connection to something out there, call it God, Allah, Buddha or the great unknown. We have the answers to our problems inside us, we just need to talk them out with someone else to find them. I'm not so much a believer in God as I am a believer that we have a God given duty to find fulfilment in whatever way suits us, within reason of course," she smiled.

Janine felt slightly giddy as she stared at her and then a moment later she leaned across and kissed her on the lips. At first there was nothing and then Katie moved her head slightly and parted her mouth. Janine broke free just briefly and then kissed her again before Katie pulled back and exhaled slowly and deliberately.

"You kissed me."

"I've kissed you before."

"Not like that," she studied her, "and I'm not going to say it's a bad thing because I liked it," she fell back against the couch and rested her hand on the small of her back, "but there are things that should be said."

"Like what?" Janine looked over her shoulder, "you think I don't have the same urges?"

"I didn't say that but I didn't know you had those kinds of urges either. It surprised me."

"You're not the only one," she too fell back and stared at the fireplace, "I had no intention of doing that either, it just happened."

"Well it's not the whiskey."

"No," she looked down at the mug, "I'm not drunk."

"At least not on alcohol," Katie shifted around slightly, "what do you think of me?"

"I think about you more than you think I do and I don't know if it's just because of the life you've lived or perhaps I merely find you a welcome distraction from day to day life. They may eulogise country life but they never mention the tedious nature of village life."

"Tell me about it," Katie stretched her arm across the back of the couch, "why do you think I was so willing to leave it all. I could have had my cake and eaten it too," she picked a ball of fluff from Janine's skirt.

"I had this woman in Buckingham, and while she wasn't about to come out, she was up for a bit of rumpy pumpy on a regular occasion. I was working as a barmaid in my local and she'd come over whenever she wanted a bit and that would be the sign. We'd go out driving and find a secluded spot or book into a hotel and just go for it but I knew that if I didn't pull my finger and out and go to university I'd just be one of those local bikes."

"That could have been me," she smoothed out her blouse, "I was a rebellious little shit when I was younger but then I had my Damascus moment and decided to get involved with the church youth group in another church. It got me away from my boyfriend and into a new world, before I knew it I was a reader and now I'm a vicar."

"And how is it being a vicar?"

"I enjoy it," she looked at her, "I get to meet interesting people and I like the idea that I'm giving something away for nothing, I know that sounds inanely silly but it's true."

"It's not silly," she reached across and turned her face towards her, "but how do you really feel about me?"

"I honestly don't know," she replied a moment later, "I love being in your company, I feel like I can let my hair down and confess my deepest darkest sins but the whole happy ever after thing baffles me, it's like I can't make a connection."

"Who says you have to make a connection? We're just two women who kissed. It doesn't make you gay or even bisexual, you just kissed a woman that's it."

"And what do you think of me?"

"I think you're interesting."

"That doesn't sound very interesting."

"Oh believe me, interesting means exactly that. When I first met you," she slid a hand through her hair, "I thought you were just an ordinary vicar, which was quite refreshing because I'd just ended a relationship a few months earlier. If you'd come across as being bendable as we say I might not have opened up as much as I did, but the next day I got to thinking about it and realised it was the first time in years someone had just listened to me without interrupting."

She let her hand fall to her leg.

"When we started chatting online and liking each other's posts I started finding out more about you but it wasn't as though I was attracted to you like that I just thought it was nice that I was friends with a woman I had no intention of sleeping with and that kind of became the basis. You're one of those women I could be friends with for years without going any further but then again," she smiled crookedly.

"It could happen and then I'd be the one on unfamiliar ground. What do I do with you?"

"I can't marry a woman."

"Probably a relief from my perspective, I'm a terrible choice for a life partner."

"You and me both," she sighed.

"So where do we go from here?"

"I kissed you."

"Once, I can put that down to impulse or just curiosity, it's happened to me before and it never went anywhere."

Janine moved closer and angled her body to face her as she traced upwards to her throat. Katie didn't respond in kind but she seemed intrigued by her methodical movements as she moved her hands up and down. She had a whimsical smile on her face and Janine felt as if she was standing outside of herself, she had an urge to kiss those lips even if it was just to skate closer to the edge of reason. She grabbed one of the collar ties and twirled it around her hand and pulled it through the knot. The loosening knot held her attention as the weight of her hand pulled the tie free.

Katie swallowed and Janine pulled gently on the other tie, she had a playful look on her face as she pulled it further down. Katie hadn't moved and that was puzzling. She stared into her eyes, willing her forward and then it occurred to her that the next move was entirely up to her.

A few moments later she leaned over and kissed her gently with a series of quick kisses that became subtly longer as she pulled the tie free of the knot. She whimpered gently as Katie slid a finger up the front of her blouse, it was so slight she could barely feel it. The knot was still fastened and she kept contact with her lips as she undid the knot and arranged the ties in front of her.

Time stood still, Katie had a slight smile on her face as she walked her fingers along the back of the couch and along her shoulder. A few moments later she slid them around the back and unclipping the collar, pulled it free and draped it over the back of the couch. The whole incident had taken the better part of a few minutes and Janine felt a pleasant warmth in her belly.

"Your move," Katie leaned on her palm.

"My move?" Janine's eyes shifted.

"Yeah," she poked her playfully with her other hand, "collars are undone, what's next?"

She swallowed as she looked at the satin blouse, her steady breathing caused her breasts to push against the material and she felt slightly giddy as she reached out and undid the top button. The silk-covered button fell through the buttonhole and she parted the collar to expose her throat before lowering her hand.

"Your turn."

"Inch by inch," she slid her other hand up the front of her blouse, pausing at each button before reaching the top, "might as well start at the top and work my way down," she undid the button and spreading her fingers wide, stroked her throat.

"Your turn," she breathed.

Janine felt moisture between her legs and the strange sensations of wanting to run and wanting it to continue. She folded the placket over and pretended to inspect each button before moving to the next button down and undoing it as well.

"Your turn," she stroked her exposed skin.

"Oh," she undid the next button, "now that was a tough choice," she started teasing her skin, "it looks like the ball's in your court."

It felt indescribably erotic to stroke her front and see the effect on her face. She wanted to lean forward and smother her with kisses but was kept in place by the rules of this impromptu game, she tugged playfully at a button at her cleavage but then moved back up to the next button and slipped it through the buttonhole. Katie burst out laughing.

"That had me going, I really thought," she stroked her front slowly and circled her breasts in a figure of eight movement. She paused on a button in about the same position but then retreated back upwards to undo the next button. Janine looked down in mild consternation at the deepening vee and Katie started teasing her skin, following the line of the vee to the very bottom and then back up again. She felt her nipples hardening, her breathing was shallower and with every downwards pass she thought Katie would undo that next button to expose her bra. It would be game over then she knew it but the younger woman didn't try to undo until finally she stopped at the bottom of the vee and looked at her as she put on a Southern accent.

"Why I do declare, it's your turn."

Janine stared at the partially open blouse and then commenced a slow exploration, teasing her skin through the satin material, feeling the bra beneath her blouse and then moving up to her throat to open the vee up a little more. A few minutes later she reached the bottom again and tugged at the button, feeling the corresponding tug on her button. A sudden picture came into her mind and she released it and dropping her hand downwards, pulled on the thin black belt and undid the buckle. She looked up to find Katie smiling at her.

"Smooth, I never saw that one coming, you should be a lawyer."

"Divine inspiration," she countered as she pulled the belt through the loops and dropped it on the floor.

Katie's fingers tightened on the button she inched it through the buttonhole but just as Janine thought it was going to pop loose she released it and dropped to her belt.

"Touché," she undid the buckle and eased the belt through the loops, "two can play at that game but what's your next move?"

Janine was just about to reply when her phone rang. She had one hand resting in the vee of Katie's blouse and the sound startled her so much she undid the button as she leaned over to pick it up and read the name on the screen.

"Shit, I have to take this," she moved back and swiped the screen.

"Alan," she rose slowly, "what's up?"

"I was going to mow your lawn today but you're not here. Do you want me to come back later?"

"I um," she looked at Katie and swallowed, "no, get the key from the church, the lawnmower is in the garage, I'm having lunch with Katie."

"All right, I'll do that, thanks."

"Thank you," she hung up and put the phone down.

"I have to go to the loo."

Janine stared at the door as she contemplated her options and yet as she came to the startling conclusion it felt somehow surreal as she opened the door and stepped out into the lounge. It was never supposed to be like this.

Katie looked up at her and Janine felt a cold chill running down her spine, she looked distraught and for a moment Janine almost changed her mind.

"I'm sorry," Katie smiled nervously, "perhaps this wasn't a good idea."

"Says who?" Janine perched on the edge of the couch and put her hands between her legs.