The Video Shoot Ch. 05

"I have to say that was the first time I was ever grudge fucked," Kara snickered.

"First time I ever grudge fucked anyone," I countered.

"Do you still think I'm insane?" She asked.

"More than ever," I shot back with a grin.

In the evening, just before bed, we shared another, albeit much milder, round of sex. Afterwards Kara snuggled up next to me in bed while I lay awake thinking.

For the first time, I started to think about our relationship in a critical way. Up to this point, I had always been so infatuated with Kara that I had blinded myself to not see anything but the positives. However, as I thought back to everything we had done together over the past couple of months, I found it all to be kind of empty. The anger I felt during our session earlier after Skyping with Mom had woke me up somehow.

Yes, the sex was great as always and I was excited to have her in this way, but when it was all condensed down to its basic elements, it was still only sex. I had been hoping for a long time that the sex would evolve into something more for her but it hadn't. For the first time since she moved in, I didn't think I would be devastatingly crushed if she found a steady boyfriend. Not that I wanted her to find one, after all, the sex between us was still amazingly hot and I still had plenty of lingering emotions for her. Only now, those emotions just seemed to be somewhat muted.

That realization in and of itself was comforting. Suddenly, I felt like there was no need to plan ahead for anything. I just needed to take each day as it came. I feel asleep feeling more in control of myself than I had in a long, long time.