The Volunteer

"Ah, here he is now! Good morning Simon, I was just explaining what is happening to your staff."

"Your staff" was the bit that sank home. I wish I'd been around when he'd started; I had no idea what the bloody hell was going on.

I looked across at the supervisor's office and noticed an almost sterile emptiness about it. The walls were bare of the family photographs that had adorned them the evening before.

I learnt later that my supervisor had gone upstairs after I left the previous evening. He had demanded to know where I'd been for most of the day and why. Well, he was told and insisted that it was he, as the department supervisor, who should be advising the computer people. It was never made clear to me what happened after that, but I do believe he then found himself on the losing end of a game of brinkmanship. Whatever happened, it led to him leaving the building permanently that same evening.

I was standing there with the rest of the departments staff staring at me, while wondering how they were going to take all this. When one of them shouted "Good on ya, Simon!" then they all crowded around congratulating me. Only I'm not too sure what they were congratulating me for. Helping with the change over to computers, or replacing our a-whole of a department head.

The melee was still going on when Jean, Farnforth's secretary, rushed into the department and had a word in his ear. Farnforth rather deftly brought order to the chaos and told me -- and everybody else -- that the computer wallies were waiting for me upstairs.

Then leaving the other guy whose name I still hadn't been told in the office, he and Jean, all-but, dragged me to the lifts.

The computer guys were all grouped around a collection of laptops. I must say that I was surprised at what they had achieved literally overnight. But they said it was finding the right bits of already written programming together and then persuading them to talk to each other. They also went on about how large a server was going to be required and wanted me to talk to the production and design departments because they were all going to be on the same system. I was kinda lost most of the time and spent quite a lot of the day ringing around different people in the company and dragging them into our discussions.

Farnforth had given me carte blanche as far as that sort of thing was concerned. I suppose that's what the IT Liaison title was all about. I kinda wondered whether I'd end up taking the can if the system didn't work. Hey shit, we all know that nothing can cause a greater cock-up than a computer system that doesn't work properly. I was wondering whether I'd been roped-in as the whipping boy.

Marsha wasn't running around after us with refreshments that day, one of the other girls was. This disappointed me a little, because I'd enjoyed myself winding her up the day before.

When I enquired about her absence the girl told us that some very important guy and his wife had arrived in the office that morning and all the top knobs were running around upstairs like demented cats. The girl said that for some reason Marsha looked as if she was terrified of them, especially the guy's wife.

We'd sort of missed out on taking a proper lunch the day before, so I suggested to the computer guys that we should take one that day. My suggestion was not met with universal approval. The guys explained that some computer guru was due over from the U.S. very shortly to look over their system. They wanted to get as far along as they could, before he turned up and stuck his nose in.

So it was sandwiches for lunch once again. Yeah, I could have overruled them, (I think) but I didn't want to upset the guys, we'd been getting along just fine up until then.

I did manage to find time to nip down to the department only to find everything was running tickety-boo. I have no idea whether it was due to the change in supervisor, the fact that some of them were scared shitless that they might be out on their ear, or that they were trying to help me. But they were all working like dervishes down there and weren't far off schedule; which I'll add, was pretty unusual for our department.

I left them to it and went back up to my new computer geek friends. We didn't leave the conference room until after six that evening when everybody else, except the security staff and cleaning people, had left the offices.

===================

There was load music coming form the flat opposite when I got home that evening. I hoped to hell I wasn't going to have a noisy neighbour like I had before one time. Maybe the thought crossed my mind to knock on the door and introduce myself, but I feared I'd make a comment about the loudness of the music and that wouldn't make for a good neighbourly relationship. I'd leave the complaining to the miserable old bugger down below if I could.

Besides I was tired, it had been a long day.

After I had a shower, I was perusing the selection of frozen food in my freezer and trying to decide whether to cook something or resort to calling one of the local takeaways and having something delivered, when the doorbell rang.

But not the intercom bell from the outer door down on the street. Whoever it was, they were already in the block.

"Damn it!" I thought, I really wasn't in the mood to meet my new neighbour. Besides, I was still dressed in nothing but a bath towel.

Hoping they'd give up and go away, I sneaked over to the door and squinted through the little spy hole. Only to be confronted by an eye trying to look in from the outside.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not dressed at the moment, could you come back later?"

"Oh, but I just needed someone to open my wine for me, so that I can have a glass with my dinner!" And extremely deep and sultry -- if not sounding a little false -- female voice replied.

Curiosity got the better of me; I slipped the catch and stuck my head around the edge of the door.

"That happens to be a bottle of beer!"

"Yeah, but you're not a wine drinker are you? Anyway, your steak's done just how you like it. Come on let's eat."

"Jenny I'm not dressed. What are you doing here anyway?"

"I'd have thought that was pretty obvious, I live here in that cute little apartment opposite."

"No, what are you doing back in the UK?"

"Ah well, my basic plan is to get you to ask me to marry you. I figured that if I move in next-door, then I'll be able to... Well, you won't be bringing any other girls back here, will you? Not with me standing out here and... Well, I'll leave that to your imagination. Now come-on lets eat I'm starving."

"I'm not dressed Jennifer!"

"Hey, do you see me complaining? I can take my clothes off as well if you like, it'll save time later."

"Give me a couple of minutes?" I said before closing the door.

"Spoil sport!" Jenny called out as I did so.

===================

The steak was cooked exactly as I liked it. Jenny grinned back at me when I complimented her on her cooking and memory.

After we'd eaten she had great fun showing me all the new furniture she'd bought, including her bedroom furniture. Explaining that it was a little large for the flat but assuring me that it was going to look wonderful in "our house!"

I didn't rise to the bait, and no, we didn't end the evening in her bed; or mine. Although we were up until well gone one A.M. talking about what the little minx had been up to. Or maybe I should say what her stepfather had been up to.

Jenny explained that she informed her mother and stepfather that she'd met the man she intended to marry while in the UK, when they collected her from the airport over there. She said her stepfather hadn't been impressed, until her mother had got it out of her that Jenny had failed to tempt me into trying to bed her.

"By the way Simon, if anyone had tried anything that I found unwelcome... Well, I always had my little friend here!"

Jenny pulled a little gadget from her handbag and waved it at me.

"You do realise that those things are illegal in the UK, don't you?" I informed her.

"Are they? I didn't know!"

"Well, I think they are. I've never seen them on sale or anything. You were lucky you never got stopped at the airport with it."

"It came over in the metal case, packed in with my jewellery, a couple of weeks before and was safely locked up in the bank vault."

Well that explained to me how she'd got a stun gun into the country.

Jenny further explained that it had gone back to the States with her jewellery and returned once again packed in with her test equipment. Suddenly I suspected that I knew who the computer guru, the guys had been so worried about all day, might turn out to be. But I didn't ask Jenny about that at the time, because she was explaining how her stepfather had insisted on having me thoroughly checked out.

Apparently whoever he had got to look into my background, had been very thorough. I somehow didn't think they were normal private detectives either, because while checking me out they realised that my employers were a potential gold mine -- Jenny's description -- and ripe for a take over.

"Lee's people say that the company just needs a few million dollars pumped in to modernise the place and then it's going to take off." Jenny said with a grin on her face.

"And my sudden and unexpected promotion?" I asked.

"No Simon; that had nothing to do with me, or my stepfather. Although I should imagine that some of the new management will know that Lee has a special interest in you. They will be the same guys who suggested the takeover to him anyway. Lee has a hands-off attitude, and pays other people to do the worrying.

"Mind you, I think it's very... fortuitous that you're the IT liaison officer, and I'm my stepfathers IT consultant."

"Oh, fortuitous for who?"

"For us silly! It means I get to consult with you all day and then we can really get friendly all night. Hey, I only live next-door; you can drive me too and from work. Isn't that a lucky coincidence?"

===================

Yeah, I put up a token resistance for about a month or so. Well, just long enough to convince Jenny to stop trying to rush me into anything, and then I climbed into bed with her. Well not exactly bed actually, we finally lost control of ourselves in her, now my, office one evening after everyone had gone home.

Hey, it was kinky and fun, even if I did have to keep one eye open in case any of the cleaning staff suddenly appeared in the IT department. Yes, I am the IT manager now; well, Jenny's training me up, she has been since the first day she stepped into the company if I dare to admit it. Jenny says she wants to be a stay-at-home mum.

I had to meet the big man of course, and I'll be honest, he scared the life out of me until I got to know him. He certainly worships Jenny's mother and I do believe he thinks the sun won't rise in the morning if my Jenny isn't happy. Mind you, I think the same thing nowadays.

The wedding and reception was held at The Moat House, but it was a pretty casual affair. You know just family and friends and the more presentable members of the Rovers and their girlfriends.

Billie and his pregnant bride were there, and so was Jenny's Uncle Graham. Jenny's aunt was unfortunately unwell and couldn't make it to the wedding, so Graham brought his secretary in her stead. Billie kinda hinted that the secretary -- whom he appeared to know remarkably well -- might find herself as full time stand-in for Mrs Biddle in the near future.

Mind you, it was probably a good idea that the old bat never turned up, Jenny's mother always has venom in her tone whenever the woman is mentioned. Jenny told me that she had never let on to her mother how nastily Marsha and her aunt had treated her, until she herself got over to the Big Guy's ranch. If those two ever do run into each other, I suspect that there will be some real fireworks.

Marsha didn't show either because she was too near her time. She'd gone on maternity leave shortly after Jenny came to work at the company. Er, no! I don't know who the father is, and from what I've heard, neither does Marsha. What more can I say?

Oh well, I suppose I could say that Jenny would like half a dozen children, but I'd prefer just two. I suppose we'll have to wait and see on that one. But generally I think my life's pretty well planned out for me from now on.

But there's only one question that really keeps creeping back into my mind every so often. Just who the hell was that bloody Caucasian-Afro-Caribbean stripper bird, at Billie's damned Stag Party?

Life goes on.