The Wanderings of Amy Ch. 19

Ruth quit praying shortly after Rickster entered her life. She quit believing in Santa Claus. Once she was exposed to evolution in school, she was able to quit believing in God. She stopped respecting her father and stopped feeling guilty about loathing the recipients of her family's charity donations. And to think, Ruth's entire transformation had started with the theft of a simple toy, a stuffed raccoon that probably did not even cost $ 5.00.

Over the years Rickster became more and more worn out, as Ruth lavished her attention and playtime on him. When Ruth got older Rickster went in her school backpack to bring her good luck. Rickster went into Burnside's seabag in the Navy and to college with her. For the last 20 years he had sat in silent vigil on the professor's dresser and had witnessed many strange things in her bedroom.

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Finally Burnside decided to sit down and torture herself with CNBC some more. The phrases of that pretty announcer and her cheerleader guests drifted through her mind...great investment opportunity...I see only great things ahead for _________ (fill in the blank)...great long term prospects...in the long run...long term...buying opportunity...invest...dynamic sector...bright future...

Old Maynard staggered into the living room, feebly wagging his tail. He shoved his nose under his owner's hand.

Burnside half-heartedly petted her dog, thinking about his namesake, John Maynard Keynes. Long term. Long run. What shit.

John Maynard Keynes knew the correct answer. She reflected that it was Keynes who made the truest statement that ever came out of an economist.

"In the long run, we're all dead."

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Author's note: The original idea behind this chapter and Ruth Burnside's disillusionment with financial news channels came from a report that PBS anchor Bill Moyers did about the hyping of IPO's in 2003. The first draft of this chapter was written towards the end of that year, when the stock scandals focusing on the telecommunications industry and IPO's were at their height. However, Ruth Burnside's experiences and concerns are applicable to other financial scandals as well. Had I written this chapter during the early 1990s, I would have referenced the Savings&Loan scandal. Had I written it towards the end of the second George W. Bush administration, it would have been the housing market and real estate boom. That's precisely the point I'm trying to make, that history repeats itself with these ongoing investor booms that are based on hype and scams instead of honest reporting.