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Geldan gave a frustrated sigh. "But we don't have time, Allorah. At the point that you learn enough to be able to understand him, his information will already be so outdated that..." He stopped himself then, lowering his gaze and nodding deferentially. "My apologies. I don't mean to question you."
Allorah looked at him tiredly, and sighed too. Though only two years her senior, she could see visible signs in his face of the toll the war and his hasty rise to leadership had taken on him. "No," she said slowly. "You're right; it's too slow. We will need to think of something else."
He glanced at her, frowning. "But what?"
"I... I don't know." Idly, her amethyst eyes drifted down to the tray she carried as she thought. "I shall consult with Priestess Dannonae." Her voice, even to her own ears sounded weary.
Geldan opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it again, exhaling sharply through his nose. He nodded again to her.
"In the meantime, I will continue to provide him food, and I request that no one else enter the room in my absence. Is that acceptable?" It was still important to establish a level of trust, or at least dependence, if the prisoner were to say anything to her.
"Yes. I will relay your wishes to the rest of the Hunters involved." He bowed but kept his gaze away from her face. "Be well, Allorah." And with that, he strode back to the guard at the cell, the discussion finished.
She watched him go, a heaviness coming over her. Then, taking a deep breath, she turned and started her walk back to the nearest communal kitchen to dispose of the dirty dishes and tray.
Nodding to the women at work around the small area, Allorah set the tray next to a small pile of dirty dishes waiting to be washed, then paused. On impulse, she retrieved the cloth she had attempted to clean the young prisoner's wounds with. Only the smallest smudge of blood darkened one corner, tribute to the limited success of her effort. Still, it was enough.
Enough for what? She wondered, even as she thought it, but she held the cloth tight as she exited the building and went in search of Dannonae.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 4 years agoThis is such a great story, It really is a shame it’s destined to be an unfinished work.
These are my unsolicited suggestions if your stuck in your storyline.
1- Less Sex. Their sex is amazing but too much of the chapters is taken up by their trysts.
2- More Character development. It might be easier to do longer chapters (maybe 5 pages?) and allow your characters to grow.
3- It feels like maybe you felt pressured into chapter 5. I’m curious what your thoughts are for the development of the officer, or if you wrote yourself into a corner. If it’s the latter, is there a way to remove chapter 5 and edit it. Where the reader is not left at a point of confusion at the end of the story.
Hope I came as as critiquing and not critical. I do enjoy your work. I hope you reread this story and fall back in love with it.
Sincerely, A fan
Anonymousover 4 years agoHave you lost interest? Have the trolls perhaps stolen your love for telling a tale by their tasteless abuse? I for one, was enjoying this story. Yet you have added nothing to your site since 2014! How sad. I hope you will return.
Sincerely,
THE Infamous Anonymous
ILiveToRead44almost 9 years agoBut, I would prefer more words applied to the story and plot and not so much to the sex.
Anonymousabout 12 years agoI really hope you continue the story I have been watching it for two years! Please please please I want to know what happens.
