I did 'give it to her'. I idly wondered, as she came with a few loud encouraging phrases and appreciative yelling, and as I followed soon afterwards grunting and groaning, whether the neighbours would call the murder squad, but we were left in peace to regain our equilibrium.
After our evening meal, we did it again, just as loudly, but in bed. Again no one complained; we certainly didn't.
As on Monday Trish was on earlies yet again, and as on Sunday I awoke with her and at 5.15am we were sharing breakfast time in the dark of the early morning.
"I'm on lates, from tomorrow for three days. One of the supply nurses has flu. I'm off from Saturday to Wednesday. It won't be much fun for you here, why don't you go back to Sale, sort things out with David and enjoy your new flat? Then I could visit you for the weekend."
I phoned David and he told me that Ann had begun her claim for maintenance and a share in my money. He told me it was called an 'application for ancillary relief', or alimony for the layperson. He would tell me more when I returned.
Going back seemed like a good idea and I told David I would be back the next day. I went for therapy and physio and returned to the flat aching in every joint and muscle as always. I knew it was doing me good: no pain -- no gain; I was becoming more mobile as I did the daily exercises I had been taught, and I could now walk some distance without a stick. I got my train ticket on the way back from the torture.
Trish took me out for a meal at a good restaurant. We went early and availed ourselves of their 'early bird offer', buy one meal and get one free. So we were well fed and felt good about the bill! Trish said it was known as a BOGOF (Buy One Get One Free). Sounded a bit rude to me.
"I'll miss you," she said as we walked home.
"I know I'll miss you, but it's only a few days."
"I know," she said with sadness in her voice.
"Well, you'll have a chance to let your hair down while I'm gone."
"I'll be thinking of you all the time," she said more seriously. "You know, since we've been together I've not missed the evenings with the girls."
"Well, I certainly don't expect to shack up with another girl. Having only you is easy for me. No girl will look at me, and my dancing is not what it was!"
We both laughed. It was so comfortable with her. Other people tended to keep the conversation away from my condition, no doubt feeling embarrassed at their own fitness, but Trish and I could always joke about it; after all, she'd been my travelling companion through the worst of it.
We stayed up late talking about all sorts of things and listening to Mozart and then we went to bed. We did caress each other all over and we did kiss each other at length and deeply, but it was relaxed and sensuous rather than erotic; it was comfortable and gentle and soft. Gradually our stroking slowed and we slept.
After all those early starts, that Wednesday morning we enjoyed the luxury of sleeping in. I got up and made some tea and then we made gentle love which became more intense as we reached orgasm and we kept our eyes open throughout, watching each other's reactions through the fullness of climax and resolution, and loving what we saw.
A leisurely breakfast. Grapefruit, grilled bacon, mushrooms, tomatoes and poached eggs. Then we showered together, soaping each other gently and becoming so turned on by the experience that we raced to the bed and got ourselves sticky and sweaty using each other, this time from behind at her request.
"We did the loving before breakfast now give me lust!" She had growled at me as we hurtled to the bed. I gave her lust, the regular smashing of my balls against her clit bringing forth cries of appreciation and yelps of pseudo-pain as my cock bottomed out hard in her passage again and again until I spewed my juice into her and she arched and bowed in her coming, falling onto her face at the end.
I withdrew slowly, her sheath pulling on my cock, and enjoyed her exquisitely rounded buttocks, as my wilting member left her. Then when she could raise herself form the bed, we showered again and resisted a repeat performance.
After coffee, I phoned David, giving him the time of the train, and he told me that Viv would meet me and take me to the flat. Then Trish took me and my two suitcases to the station and saw me onto the train. We hugged and kissed on the platform, and then we kissed again at the door. I watched her lonely form waving from the platform, all too soon disappearing, modern trains not having opening windows.
I settled into my first class seat and read a light novel, but it did not stop a feeling of loneliness sweeping over me. Could I ever let this woman go when the time came? We were getting totally enmeshed in each other in every way. The wrench I now felt at the prospect of a few days apart reinforced this feeling.
------
SEVEN
The train kept good time and the sun shone so the journey was very pleasant, especially across the Pennines, where the deeper drifted snow had remained after most had melted. I arrived at Manchester and was met by Vivienne as arranged. I took some time to get to the end of the platform using one stick (I was very proud of this) and pushing the trolley with my two huge suitcases perched on it, but there she was, almost hopping up and down with excitement.
She hugged me and I her. She took one case in one hand and my arm with the other while I pulled the other case on its wheels, and we made our way to the car park.
"I'm to take you to the flat first and get your seal of approval. I'm sure you'll like it. Then I rather hoped you'd come for dinner."
I was happy to agree. I was getting tired, and did not relish starting cooking from scratch in a new kitchen.
She was right, the flat David had rented for me was very comfortable and tastefully furnished. I suspected the choice had been a joint effort and they had excelled themselves. It was in Stretford, a short tram ride from Sale and a slightly longer one to Altrincham. A lift to all floors. Two bedrooms.
The previous tenants had made the second bedroom into a study or office. It had a desk for a computer and a phone point. To do this they had had to move the double bed into the main bedroom, which already had one and so that room was rather crowded as a result, but I didn't care; I wasn't going to move the bed on my own with my aching bones.
The kitchen opened onto the living area and was small but well appointed. The bathroom was roomy and had a power shower. The living room window looked over well-kept gardens and being on the second floor had a good view of the main road and its heavy traffic without it being near enough to disturb me.
The shopping centre was across the local road. It was not a beautiful complex but none of my windows overlooked it, for which I was grateful.
Viv made some tea, I noticed that they must have stocked the place for me, since there was milk available for the tea. The bed was also made up.
"I brought some sheets and a duvet cover over," she explained, "You've got to have something to sleep in."
"Viv, you and David, you're very good to me! How can I ever repay you?" I said, trying and failing to express the extent of my gratitude.
"As David always says," she said dismissively, "You do repay us; you pay David very well for the work he does, and you looked after him when he had trouble a few years ago. You were always a good friend to us."
I didn't remember what I'd done, but I wasn't going to pursue it at that moment. I turned my attention to unpacking my case and having a shower. I exited the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel round my waist just as Viv came out of the living area.
"Allan... Oh you're out. I was going to... Good God!..." She paled and stood stock still, gazing at my torso and ankles.
I would like to have thought she was impressed with my toned and sexy body, but her expression was not of admiration but horror. She could see my scars. They were impressive in a ghoulish sort of way, though they had become less vivid with the passing years.
"They don't hurt any more, Viv. I'm so used to Trish seeing them I quite forgot they might shock you. Sorry."
"I'm the one who's sorry, Allan. How could anyone be so vicious?"
"Easily, it seems," I replied with a smile. "I'll go and cover up. Hardly appropriate behaviour, exhibiting my scars to a married woman!"
It made her laugh and any awkwardness passed. She turned and went back to the living area where I joined her shortly afterwards, suitably dressed.
Dinner was perfect as always, but I had to pay. Vivienne returned to matchmaking mode and it occasioned a repetition of the arguments we had at our previous meeting.
She began innocuously. "So, Allan, what are your plans for the coming week? Going into work?"
"No, not this week; I need to settle into that excellent flat, buy some bedding for a start and David has a lot in store for me, I'm sure. On Saturday Trish comes for a long weekend."
Again there was that look of disappointment on Viv's face.
"Viv, I'm with Trish now," I told her patiently. "You have to get used to that. It's not exactly helpful of you look despondent every time I mention her."
She was suitably chastened and apologised.
"Viv can't help it Allan," said David. "She has memories that you haven't got yet, but while we're on it, have you had any more thoughts on the Ann question?"
"The only thing I'd like to know is why Ann didn't make more effort to try to find me. She had enough money to hire someone. Perhaps she had already decided to dump me for Derek."
"No chance, Allan," Vivienne asserted, "she loved you to bits."
"All the more worrying that she made no real effort to find me."
"Did it upset you as you were recovering not to have anyone look for you or visit you?" Vivienne asked.
"Well, no. I had no memory so I didn't miss anyone. It was more a puzzle for me at the time really."
"Well," said David, "as you know, we have a friend who might be able to help there. Keith."
"Keith?"
"Keith Cuthbertson. A Private Investigator."
"No. Don't know him. I live a strange life, David. Things come and go."
"Yes, you told me."
"Did I?"
A giggle escaped Vivienne's lips, followed instantly by a look of acute embarrassment on her face. I started laughing at her expression and in no time we were all sharing the laughter. I wrote Keith's name and occupation down when our laughter subsided.
"Friday evening, we go to the pub and meet Colin. "
I cocked an eyebrow.
"Detective Chief Inspector Sinnott in the Greater Manchester Force?" He suggested.
"We met at the Police Station?" I ventured.
"That's right."
"I move in exalted society then?"
"Oh, yes. I asked him to keep in touch with the Northumbria Force about your attack."
Things are looking up, I thought.
"Allan?" Vivienne looked apprehensive at what she was about to say.
"Yes?" I smiled, mainly to put her at her ease.
"Is there any chance of you getting back with Ann? Any at all?" Her question was tentative: she knew where Ann was living, and with whom.
"Viv!" said David rather sharply. "I thought we'd agreed--"
"It's OK, David," I stopped him. "It's a question that's gong to be asked again and again. I have been thinking about it, Viv."
I smiled. "But that very thing shows the problem. You were a brand new person when we met. I know you now but only from that first evening. You remember our history. For me there is none.
"They say my memory will come back; it is already coming back in fits and starts. Sometimes I just know something but not consciously. I'll say something and wonder where it came from. I have flashes from my childhood, my mother for instance. As far as I'm concerned, I can't 'get back with Ann' because I've never been with her in the first place! See what I mean?"
Viv sighed. She understood, and I understood her longing for something of which I knew nothing. I continued.
"So I don't know Ann. Don't you think that our love for someone is governed by the context? The context is all the life you've lived together, remembered consciously or unconsciously? I have no context as far as Ann is concerned. No history. Viv, I don't even know if I'd know her if I saw her! So you can work out for yourself the chances of us getting together."
"But I'm certain she will still love you once she knows the true story."
"But I don't love her!" I was becoming exasperated again. "I can't. Perhaps when memories come back I'll love her again, but even that's not certain. That's why I'm not keen on meeting her. She's with someone else. She's making a new life for herself. And there's another complication."
"What?" Viv looked dispirited.
"You know what, or rather who. She's called Trish. Now I do love her, even if we won't be together permanently. I do have a history with her and a context."
"But you're married."
"Was married. No longer. Ann has divorced me if you remember."
"Not entirely: it's not absolute yet. Anyway she's only divorcing you because--"
"Yes, I know. I disappeared." My patience was running thin. "Well, now she's got someone else and I have someone else as well as her! When we became an 'item', Trish and I had no knowledge of my life here. Things might have been different if I had. We have now to wait and see. There's another thing, Viv. What woman, Ann included, would want to be shackled to a hideous monster like me? I know what my face does to people."
I turned to David, with a smile.
"David, I flashed Viv as I came out of the bathroom at the flat after a shower. It's all right; I was wearing a towel. She saw my scars. Her face showed the same horror and revulsion as I see on people's faces everyday. Can you see Ann, or any woman beyond Trish, taking a fancy to me?"
"Don't be daft, Allan," Viv responded quickly and decisively. "Teenage girls might just go on a boy's looks, but women with any sense look deeper than that, though I admit that some never grow up.
Trish loves you because of the qualities you've shown, your fight back to health, the way you look after her and she after you; your love for her. Allan, most women will stand by the man they love no matter what. But you're right, it's the context of the love a couple's past life together has made, and that's what will drive Ann when she knows, believe me."
"OK," I replied resignedly, "but the fact remains that until I get some memory back, I'd be going to a stranger."
"I still think that when you meet her you'll fall in love with her like you did the first time. You could do that, you know, start from scratch. Then what?"
I couldn't help but admire Viv's commitment to Ann and I must confess I'd only just started thinking about what might actually happen when I did see her since the conversation with Trish on that Sunday walk.
"OK Viv, if it makes you happy, I'm open to anything happening when I see her. Perhaps I can meet her without her recognising me, but not this week."
That ended the conversation.
David now explained about the divorce and Ann's application. Because I was not present, she needed to get a court to decide how the effects of the marriage would be divided up and how much maintenance she and the children would get. David had to provide an "Affidavit of Means" showing everything I owned, including my holdings in the company. Ann had to do the same. Then the two solicitors had to exchange them. It had to be done within 28 days.
Then he outlined my week. He would see me on Friday to sort out legal things; we would have dinner with Viv, and then go and meet Colin at the pub. It was time to go home and prepare for a busy week. He would arrange a driving lesson on Saturday to check I could still drive safely. He would then hire me a car unless Geoff was going to sort out a firm's car for me.
I awoke late on Thursday morning wondering where I was, and panicked for a moment until I remembered. It was a strange place and I'd moved in yesterday. Anyone would have had that disorientated experience. I showered in luxury, made breakfast and then stood at the window of the living area, watching the traffic in the distance. The rain was falling lightly -- fine drops which drench you to the skin but oh so gently. The passers-by hurried to and fro under their umbrellas like a Lowry painting.
I went round the flat making a long list of things to buy and spent the morning shopping. The afternoon brightened up and I began to make the place my own, re-arranging the furniture to my liking and cleaning the kitchen, bathroom, toilet and the bathroom.
I'm sure they were perfectly clean, but it is an emotional thing; somehow cleaning the areas for food and intimate bodily functions seems to make one's ownership of a place complete.
I was tired when I finished and had just fallen asleep in the armchair when the phone rang. I picked up. It was Geoff.
"Can I tell Susan about you?" he asked, "We don't keep secrets from each other and she's good at keeping confidences."
"Who's Susan? Your girlfriend?"
"Oh bugger!" he swore. "I keep forgetting."
"No Geoff, I keep forgetting!" I was laughing.
He laughed out loud.
"She's my wife Allan."
"Yes, go ahead. There shouldn't be secrets between husbands and wives." There was an edge of bitterness. It was anger at Ann, why I had no idea. I knew the feeling was groundless.
"Thanks. Are you in Saturday morning? I might have something for you."
I assured him I would be and he rang off. After all he was a busy man, making money for me. I napped for an hour and felt dreadful when I awoke. I made myself an evening meal of Spaghetti Bolognese and felt better in the making of it and better still in the eating.
It struck me when I sat down after washing up that this was the first time I had been truly alone in a house or flat since I left hospital and rehab. I didn't like it much: I missed Trish. I wondered what she was doing, and then my mind strayed into wondering what my ex-wife and my children were doing. It was fruitless really, and I went on to think about these new-old friends of mine who were being so good to me and obviously thought a lot of me.
I'd often wondered what I was like before the attack. They say that people often change character quite dramatically after brain damage, and I wondered if I was a real sod to people and whether that was why my ex-wife was so keen to sever links with me.
On the other hand, it did seem I couldn't have been all that bad or my friends wouldn't have wanted to know me. Of course Viv and David assured me that Ann was head over heels in love with me.
I watched TV and then went to bed. Friday was going to be busy.
------
EIGHT
Friday morning dawned sunny and crisp, a beautiful March morning, even though it was mid-February. I stood at the window and watched the traffic on the main road as it stopped, started and crawled by in a parody of the phrase 'rush hour'.
It suddenly (all my new memories seemed to come suddenly) came to me. There was a picture in my mind of a little boy of five or six years old waiting for a bus on that road. Then a picture of the school. Yes, I travelled at that age alone on two buses to a school in Chorlton. I smiled at the memory.
I had thick soup in a flask for lunch at school. Why that memory?
The more memories that followed on from these, the broader my smile became.
"You're looking cheerful!" said David as he walked in.
"Memories, David, memories! Childhood ones," I added seeing hope dawn in his eyes.
"But every little helps," I added again as I saw his disappointment. "They're coming back!"
We went to his office. Getting up those stairs was becoming easier.
The first thing he did was to hand me my driving license. There followed a long series of form filling and swearing oaths. In view of the impending court case about the financial settlement and involving the Power of Attorney, he invited me to write a letter to him explaining I was now able to take care of my own affairs, but wanted him to continue for the time being. Also I could say I could attend court if necessary, but that I appointed David to represent me. David would submit the evidence that I was who I was, and that my new signature was genuine. He dictated the letter to his secretary and I signed it,
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