The Way Back Ch. 04

"Can I come in?" she asked seriously, wide-awake and sure of herself.

"Cuddles only Jenny. Before we do anything else we have to talk. You understand? My life is complicated."

"OK," she said, "Hugs only. Budge up!"

I budged. We hugged. She made comfortable little noises as she nuzzled my neck and we kissed. We slept.

Business was over, and we had all day Saturday to play. We saw the steam clock, went across the water to the North Shore and strolled round the covered market, revelling in the myriad stalls and the wonderful and varied smells. We sampled all sorts of foods, savoury and sweet, and she bought some cheap jewellery. We sat and drank coffee looking out over the water at the skyline of South Shore Vancouver with its skyscrapers. In the afternoon we took in Stanley Park, taking the horse-drawn bus half way round and walking the rest along the coast. As we walked I decided it was time to talk.

"Jenny, you know my story. You know there is so much unfinished, uncertain in my life. Trish was my nurse and made it clear before we bedded down together that it was 'no strings sex', but it wasn't 'no strings' at all. It seems I can't have 'no strings sex'. Trish could until we began our relationship, but then she needed more from sex than just the orgasms.

"Trish and I are comfortable because we know the score; she's set on joining her family in New Zealand, and I have as yet to resolve my relationship with Ann. You know what meeting Ann did to me. I'm utterly muddled in my emotions about her or at least our history.

"From what you've told me, if we make love will you fall in love with me? If so, what happens if Ann suddenly wanted to come back to me and I wanted it too? Say you and I were having a sexual relationship, where would that leave you? You'd feel betrayed, let down, spurned. What would that do to your confidence for new relationships? I can only see strain in a relationship like that.

"And then there's the fact that we work closely together. If we had a relationship how would we work together if it ended? At present you are completely indispensable. Say you or I found someone else, what would happen to you at work? You couldn't continue to work with me, could you?"

We walked on in silence. At length she spoke.

"Allan, when I knew who you were and how you were handling the problems in your life, I admired you. You were so thoughtful. You were concerned more about your ex-wife's feelings and the problems she'd face if you confronted her than for yourself. When you met her and it devastated you, you were open with me about your shattered state. Then for me it was more than admiration. I wanted you.

"You are always so gentle. You cope with dreadful difficulties with cheerfulness. The only men interested in me were self-centred, it's the curse of being pretty. Oh, yes, I know I'm pretty, I've been told often enough. I know I inspire lust in men, witness the night before last. No one got as close as he did to using me for his pleasure since...

"I have a confession to make. When I asked you to undress me, you knew I was in an emotional mess, but what you didn't know was that I thought I'd get you to screw me. I wanted love and to be cherished but men haven't been like that so I put out for you. What did you do?"

Here she laughed.

"You treated me like your little daughter. I bet you cuddled Greta just like you cuddled me. Once you put me to bed I didn't care any more what happened. You'd loved me without using me so I asked you into my bed. If you fucked me, fine, at least I'd had some love and affection with the lust. If you didn't... Well, you didn't. I was your daughter for a night and you were my father. It felt so secure; I can't remember when I felt so secure, so loved. My father never loved me like that," and she went off into a reverie of her own.

I wanted to speak and I didn't. I wanted... I didn't know what I wanted. I put my arm around her shoulder and she put hers round my waist.

"See?" she said, smiling at me, "Your reaction is always to care. I bet you were a great father. God! your kids must have missed you! So yes I am aware, no, it's crystal clear to me that it is almost impossible for our relationship to last. I mean if we make love.

"You saved me, you are saving me. I'm so grateful for this trip. I'm grateful you had confidence in me to negotiate the deal. I'm grateful that toe-rag tried to rape and blackmail me. You know why? Because when you intervened I felt someone loved me for me, not my face or my body. Even now, when I'm throwing myself at you, you are concerned for me.

"So I want you to make love to me. I need the physical side from you as well as the care and concern. I was used by a man for nearly a year. I need to know what real love is like from another man, I mean that sort of love, physical lovemaking."

I thought for a moment. I still thought it was a bad idea for the sake of our future relationship. I couldn't commit to her, and I suspected that if we made love it would not be easy to break up if that became necessary. But she was a big girl now, in her thirties for goodness' sake! That immediately provoked another thought.

"I still have misgivings about this but if you want a relationship, you've got it. Please don't blame me if you're hurt when we break up."

She sighed a sigh of relief, "I really need you in that way."

"So we had better find somewhere to buy some condoms."

"Oh, no! Not for our first time. I don't want any rubber between us."

"But--"

"Look, Allan, I may not have had any sex for ages, but I'm not stupid. My period is due in a couple of days, and I'm regular as clockwork, so I'm safe. I have a thirty-two day cycle. No condoms!"

That ended our discussion. We returned to the hotel, and once in the suite she peeled off her clothes and ran to bathroom in her bra and knickers. I heard the shower running so settled down to wait. Not long as it happened.

"Now you," she said happily, and I obeyed, stripping down and taking my shower. She was right; the walk had made me sweaty. When I returned to the bedroom she was in my bed, the quilt up to her neck. I pulled back the covers and she was naked.

"I thought of putting something on for you to take off, but I decided this was me and you, and nothing between us. You don't mind?"

I gazed at her naked loveliness, her breasts proudly erect like two hillocks, her flat stomach, her landing-strip bush proclaiming she was a natural blonde, and her long tapering legs and dainty feet.

"No," I said as she blushed at my inspection. "I don't mind at all. Nothing you wore could improve on this body."

A corny even cheesy line but she blushed more deeply and gave a satisfied smile.

"Good," she said, "I don't want to disappoint you."

"Looking as you do that would be impossible."

Grief, what was I saying? Where were the biscuits for cheese?

I pulled her legs gently nearer to the end of the bed, spreading her legs, so that her sex was open to me. Then I got two pillows and put one under her head, and the other under her bottom.

"What?" she began.

"Just relax," I ordered, as I knelt and bent over the end of the bed, my face approaching her opening. "Lie back and enjoy."

I ran my tongue over her labia, from back to front, missing her clitoris, round the front of her slit and down the other side. She gasped. Good. She was meant to gasp. Then, opening her with my fingers, I ran my tongue up and down her inner lips.

"Oh, Allan!" she groaned. Better. She was getting into it, and from the increasing dampness her body was as well.

So I continued until, on an upward stroke, she humped her sex down to get my tongue on her sensitive nub. I dodged and she uttered a complaining moan. I stayed round the entrance to her vagina after that and she began to work her body, begging for a touch to her button. So it was time to grant her desire. Up my tongue went and this time I dragged it lightly over her clit. She jumped!

"Oh!"

Then a quick series of strumming licks, and she began to become vocal. Not words but a medley of sweet sounds, some guttural, some a high-pitched wailing. She became much wetter and her movements became more intense as I swirled my tongue around her clit.

Now she was coming. Her legs clamped round my head as I licked her through it and a high pitched squeal come from her followed by panting and jerking. At length she relaxed enough for me to escape from her grip and replace my tongue with my fingers, as I gently stroked her down from the heights, her twitching becoming more gentle.

Once she became quite still, I got up from my position at the end the bed and crawled onto it, and up her body, her arms coming round me and pulling me to her.

"Oh!" she sobbed, "I never. I never."

I kissed her, and she kissed my wet mouth back with abandon, her hands roving over my back. What is it about women that they like to trace scars? Who cares? It feels good.

"Please, Allan," she breathed, "Put it in me. I want it. Now?"

I pulled her over me and as she straddled me, I took her hand and put it on my rampant cock.

"You put it in."

She looked surprised, but quickly lined me up and sank down onto me with a sigh and groan of satisfaction. Once she bottomed out onto my root she stayed still, gazing at me with wonder.

Then, imperceptibly she began to move. Not up and down but in a circular motion, rubbing her mound and her clitoris against my root. It clearly had the desired effect, because her movements became more intense and more rapid until she was once again panting, her head thrown back and her eyes tightly closed. Then she stopped for a second, her eyes opened wide, looking at me as if in utter surprise, before they closed again and she moved her slit frantically against me until she cried out and fell forward.

It was then she began to hump me. Up and down she went, leaning forward over me, her breasts swinging above my face, catching her breath as each twinge took her. I caught her tits and rubbed my thumbs over her nubs, causing her eyes to fly open and her bouncing to accelerate until I in my turn began to utter my own sounds of impending climax.

There was the flash of a smile in her exertions, panting now, and increasing the stroke of riding me, until I came hard inside her, shuddering and quivering, feeling the semen rising and spurting into her.

She gradually slowed her pace and fell forward over me, her lips on mine.

"Totally!" she panted. "Totally! Utterly! Oh!" as she pulled away to look into my eyes, breasts hanging.

I got the picture. I grinned. No words. Just a grin. She smiled back, a satiated smile.

My cock was now softening, and slipped from her. I got some tissues from the bedside table and pushed them between her nether lips. She looked puzzled.

"Keep the bed dry!" I winked, and she laughed.

"We can sleep in my bed," she chortled, "I like the feeling of your juice running down my legs."

So I quickly removed the tissues. She guffawed!

Over dinner she talked about her year of abuse, and her subsequent distrust of men.

"I've wasted too many years," she said at length. "I'm thirty-one and time is running out. I want children."

"I've wanted to ask you. You're thirty-one as you say, and you took a job as an ordinary secretary in a small company, yet you're really talented. What've you been doing all these years?"

She launched into an account of her life since gaining her masters. That she had a second degree surprised me. She had decided to travel the world. So many stories. Six years later she returned. This was her first job.

"I don't know what I was looking for, but today I found something and someone. I never knew what sex could be like until today. I fingered myself, obviously. But today..." She drifted into silence.

"You know," I said, "you talked about the arrogant men, good looking ones, and about the less attractive who were intimidated by you. You know you have to go get those shy uncertain men. You need to be quiet and gentle to give them confidence. They'd never believe their luck."

"I don't think I have enough confidence to take the initiative. Please don't get rid of me so soon. Can we be together for a little longer?"

"I wasn't trying to. Of course we can be together. I just didn't want you wasting your time with me if you find someone else, someone who's a little shy perhaps. But there are also nice confident men, you know. Thirty isn't too late. I just didn't want you to close off any options that crop up."

"Please, stay with me for a while?"

I cursed inwardly the damage that man had done her. She saw my face change.

"What's the matter?"

"I was thinking of the damage all those years ago. And yes, I'll be here for you."

When we got back to the room, she undressed me, and I her. We lay down, and I began to trace patterns on her wonderful firm skin, ranging over her whole body. This time there was no teasing. If my hand passed over her vulva, my fingers would penetrate the folds and stroke her clitoris, and her breasts got a lot more attention than they had earlier, her nipples standing proud. She was well into her arousal, gently moving in response to my hands and fingers.

Then, "Please, Allan, do me now. You on top. Take me. I want to know how it feels."

So I rolled over her and raised myself, looking down into her eyes. She nodded and pulled at my buttocks, spreading her legs wide.

"Now," she said.

I put my cock to her furrow, slipped it down to her wet hole and, finding the place and the angle, pushed in firmly. She smiled and raised herself up to meet it and push it in deeper.

"Do me please."

So I did, long strokes gradually getting faster, while she exhaled and panted and thrust herself against me, becoming more frantic as she neared her release. She came silently, holding her breath before the twitching and spasming began, when she began to breathe again with ragged breaths. It sent me over the edge and I came, grunting with the sensation and sensuality of it all.

"Good. Good." she said as she got her breath to a normal pattern. "That was so different. I loved it! A sort of exorcism."

I got us a couple of glasses of wine and we sat in bed and drank. Then we got up and packed ready for the morning. The flight was mid-afternoon, but we needed to be there hours before. Then we went to bed in the other bed and fell asleep in each other's arms. I could get used to this, I thought, as I gazed at the lovely blonde sleeping peacefully beside me. Perhaps I want to get used to it, was my last thought.

The less said about the flight the better. Nine and a half hours with a screaming baby in the seat behind is too long. We left mid-afternoon Sunday and arrived mid-morning on Monday. We got to my flat at lunchtime and against all the wisdom of seasoned travellers, went to bed for three hours. We got a takeaway by phone and after she'd eaten she kissed me long and sensuously and went back to her own place.

When I awoke next morning, I had no recollection of what I had done for the rest of the day, but all my washing was done and in the machine. I put it in the drier and sorted out my papers, went to the supermarket and stocked up, and after lunch got in the car and went into the office. Jenny was not there. Good, I thought.

Geoff and I went over the papers and pronounced the expedition a success. I kept yawning and eventually Geoff sent me home!

------

SIXTEEN

I had just arrived back in the flat, feeling dazed and wondering whether I should have been driving at all, when the phone rang. I cursed under my breath. I wanted sleep. It was Keith.

"Allan, I know you're jet lagged, so I won't keep you. While you've been away I've found that bloke on the CCTV in York. I took Colin along and met him in a pub. I recorded our conversation, such as it was. We all need to meet and listen to it, can you make it to the pub tomorrow night as usual?"

"Yes. Fine. I can't concentrate at the moment. Better tomorrow."

"Good. What the man said was quite an eye-opener. Brings a whole new dimension to the case."

Ten minutes later, it rang again. David this time.

"Sorry, old chum," he began. "I'll be brief. House completion on Friday. Have you a partner for the dinner-dance on Thursday?"

I assured him I'd work on it the next day, and he too rang off.

I fell into bed. I think I was asleep before my head was on the pillow. The next morning, again I had a headache to end all headaches and a faint feeling of nausea. I made tea and downed a couple of pain-killers with it. Then some bland cereal. I blessed the fact that I wasn't going into work today.

An hour later I felt a good deal better. I reviewed the past days.

Sex with Jenny.

OK, so it wasn't really a good idea but seemed right at the time, particularly in view of her history. Wasn't she good in bed! I decided to invite her to the Chamber of Commerce dinner-dance.

I really ought to get in touch with Ann, I thought, and get all these misunderstandings out in the open. Then thought again and decided to wait until after the dinner dance. I still hadn't sorted out my feelings for her. I loved the memories. I thought she was a beautiful woman and there was the usual male desire for her. However there was all the other baggage and her new relationship. From what everyone told me it seemed she was a faithful soul; once she gave her promise she stuck by it through thick and thin. She had promised herself to Derek. Best to concentrate on getting access to the children and let her get on with her life.

The thought hurt but it was right. Ann and I were history, in the past. Now we needed to get on with our own lives, but unbidden that surge of regret and resentment returned. This whole situation should never have happened. Talking of getting on with one's own life, I now had two women on the go!

To that end I phoned Jenny. She was awake and sounded bright. I asked her outright without pre-amble.

"Like to come to a dinner-dance tomorrow? Chamber of Commerce? Geoff and Susan are going and David Lombard and his wife Vivienne. It's a formal thing, black tie; long dresses etc."

She almost squealed with delight.

"Love to, Allan! Shall I pick you up? You'll be drinking."

"I think we can run to taxis, don't you?"

She agreed happily and after getting a time of departure, rang off.

Mid afternoon I rang Trish and filled her in on the events of the Canada trip. She was quiet at that. Then I told her of the house completion and she wished me luck. She said she would be able to get time off over the Easter weekend, Thursday to Monday at least and looked forward to seeing the house, if I wanted her.

"Trish," I said, hoping I sounded reassuring, "Jenny and I had sex. It was good. We are not an item. There is a history. She needs me at the moment. I want you here please. I'll tell you all when you come. I think you should meet her."

She sounded happier and promised to come on Thursday if I phoned her on Wednesday to confirm. I told her again to come.

That evening we were all assembled in the Cross Keys for our Wednesday meeting of 'the four.' Colin and Keith looked sombre. The recorder was on the table. Once we had our pints in front of us. Keith began.

"This isn't good news, Allan, but better to know. That's what we all want, isn't it?" He looked round the table; we all nodded. He continued. "I'll play the tape as it is, and we'll talk after."

-----

Keith: Ted O'Malley?

O'Malley: Yeah, who wants him?

Keith: We think you can help us with an enquiry after a missing person.

O'Malley: You the police? .

Keith: I'm a Private Investigator.

O'Malley: Well, my memory isn't all that good.

Keith: Let me get you a drink.

O'Malley: Now that's more like it. Might loosen up the memory.