The Whisper in My Thoughts

I remember when it started. It was all innocent, and gentle. I felt the presence of what I can only explain as someone. I knew it wasn't something, but someone. I knew it was a he, for I was familiar with the strength of a man's presence. I could even smell him, a sweet musky scent, that I grew to love. Of course I never let anyone in on this, for fear that they'd find me insane! As a child he comforted me, while I cried, and all that I felt was a warmth enveloping me like a second skin.

As I got older, his presence became stronger and stronger. At the age of eighteen had my first sexual encounter, with a guy from school. He didn't care much about me, and as soon as he was finished, he made some excuse about having to go home. My body was trembling, as I cried, alone in my bed. The moonlight streamed through my window, as I saw my glowing pale reflection, in the mirror. I cried so much, I thought my heart would cease beating. I recognized that scent, that familiar scent, although I was evidently alone in the room.

I felt a sudden rage, that he was here, yet wouldn't show himself, as if torturing me with his vague existence.

Yet, I moved on. . . As one should. By my twenty-second year, I was a bit wiser, although none the luckier in love! I just felt as if my true love was not in this realm of existence. Crazy. . I know! I made jokes with my friends that maybe my soulmate was a Martian, or something! I had gotten myself a nice apartment, and had a pleasant job. My best friend was a guy named Christopher. I was a bit attracted, for he was handsome, but didn't want to spoil our friendship, by reacting to my nutty hormones! Then one day Chris told me he loved me. I didn't know how to react. I mean, here was a guy that I truly trusted, and I didn't want to ruin it by getting into a relationship! Maybe I was a little too paranoid!

I thought a lot that night, and finally drifted off to sleep. Then I was rudely awoken by the ringing of the phone. When I answered it, I heard no one. I was slightly peeved, that my good sleep was ruined by a stupid wrong number. When I turned to face the other way, on my bed, I guess I should have been startled. I should have been terrified! A man whose face was unknown to me lay there, as if he always did! His eyes were as dark as the night, his hair was chestnut and long to his shoulders. His skin was tanned, and delicious. The reason I wasn't fearful, was because I recognized his scent. It was him! I wanted to laugh, wanted to cry, I didn't know what to say!

"You were snoring!" he laughed, almost in a whisper.

"It's you. . . It's. . You!" I could barely say.

He responded, by tracing the contours of my face, with his finger tips. I could barely breathe, as he kissed me. I tasted his mouth, and I felt that warmth, that incredible rush! He was naked, and soon I was too. I touched his skin, so soft, as if he had never lived a day in his life. He kissed my neck, and my breasts, as my knees trembled.

His body was immaculate, yet I wasn't intimidated. I had never felt so at ease. He buried his head between my thighs, and devoured me madly. I felt his quick tongue movements, flicking against the rosebud of my clitoris. My hands reached out for his shoulders, as I sat up and felt the explosion of my orgasm. He kept his warm mouth there as if to soothe me, and that gave me a second orgasm! This time a calmer one, yet even more powerful. He kneeled, between my legs and smiled. I smiled back, and pulled him closer, wrapping my arms around him.

He held me, and I felt his hardened penis, pushing slowly within me, as I eagerly thrust up my hips to welcome him. I felt a jolt through my body as he thrust it deep inside. He moved in faster and faster, until I was clinging on to my headboard, as we rocked back and forth. I felt the stickiness of his sweaty chest deliciously cling on to my breasts. I looked in his eyes, so lovingly gazing into mine. I wanted answers, I had so many questions, but I was too busy enjoying this! I felt him cum, and as he did, I tightened the walls of my vagina, which made him moan out loud.

He lay beside me. My mind still filled with endless questions, yet all I said was "i've always loved you"

"And I. . "he replied "Have and always will. Yet, you and I are not in the same place"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"There will be a day when you will understand. There will be a day, when we will walk the same ground, breathe the same air. . . Until then, you mustn't dwell"

"I want you to stay, don't leave"I whimpered.

"there is a man who will give you the greatest love on these mortal grounds. He will love you very much, and you know who he is"

"Christopher" I said.

I tried not to fall asleep, since I knew if I did he would disappear. I relentlessly succumbed, my night had been too filled with overwhelming emotions. I was right, when morning came, he was gone, as if he had never been there. Yet the sight of my nakedness and the scent on my pillows, reminded me that it hadn't merely been a dream. I felt saddened, for the remainder of the day. It wasn't until the next day that all changed. The sun was shining triumphantly, the birds singing merrily. Then, everything made sense. I called Chris, and asked him out for lunch. I couldn't wait to see him.

That day was the start of a beautiful life, and finally love.

Maybe that man that appeared is my soulmate, and one day we will be together. Or maybe he only guided me toward happiness.