The White Rose Crisis Ch. 06

Note: I don't want chapters 16 pages long, so I've split them up. No direct incest in this chapter. It's all coming to a climax in Ch. 07!

Part 6 – The Truth Is Out There

–

I was seated in a dimly lit room that was warm and welcoming, reclined in a pile of pillows on a large, comfy couch. The girl curled up next to me was just as warm and welcoming, and made the situation that much more comfortable.

Lucy's arms were wrapped around mine as she nuzzled up to my side, her head resting against me. Her long red curly hair fell loose down her back and her cheek was warm on my shoulder, her ample chest rising and falling, pressing against my side as she breathed deeply. My hand rested on her thigh and, as she stirred, her hand dropped from my arm on top of my hand, her fingers linking with mine.

It sounds romantic, and it definitely was. Lucy was a beautiful, sexy girl, and there was no where else she wanted to be right now than at my side. Unfortunately she was also my cousin.

"You poor boy," came a voice on the other side of the room. Ellie – Lucy's mother and my aunt – sighed into her second hot chocolate of the night, having decided against another cup of coffee. "I'm sorry you had to go through all of this."

"Me too," Lucy whispered, her blazing blue eyes opening as she looked up at me. I stroked her hand with my thumb and smiled at her.

"It hasn't been an easy time," I admitted. "Trying to understand my feelings while being bombarded with everything. I never could have imagined I would end up being so involved with incest, but..." I looked down at Lucy again, smiling at her. "I guess some feelings can't be ignored."

"Well now that Sarah is back it's the best time for you to confront her about all this." Auntie Ellie sipped her chocolate slowly, watching me. "You seem much calmer than you were the last time we spoke. It still isn't going to be easy, but you know it needs to be done."

"I do," I nodded. "I can't let this go too much further without talking to her. Sarah is probably feeling just as confused as I was, maybe even more so...she was on her honeymoon." I felt a sinking feeling of sadness, knowing how I might have ruined my older sister's marriage before it had properly begun.

"It's never too late to heal," Ellie reminded me. "Just look at the two of you. This is still a family, and maybe even a happier one. You will do just fine." Ellie smiled at me and I felt more confident. I just had to stay composed and know what I wanted to say.

"What will you do about Jaimi?" Lucy asked, interrupting my thoughts. I had a sneaking suspicion my cousin really needed to know my answer.

"I love her, but I'm not in love with her," I told Lucy. "There's enough broken hearts in this mess already." Lucy gave my hand a squeeze, still staring into my eyes.

"I trust you," she said, resting her head on my shoulder and closing her eyes.

I could understand Lucy's unease, given her attraction to me. I had told her and Auntie Ellie everything, including my encounters with Jaimi and her sexually charged offer of letting me watch her stretch wearing nothing but a t-shirt and boy leg panties. After that they believed me when I suggested Jaimi might be considering incest herself.

The fact that nothing had happened between us yet was my one saving grace in that department. I had turned Lucy down, so I wasn't going to give in to Jaimi...it would break Lucy's heart.

And Meghan – if Meghan found out about any of this it would destroy her. Lucy and Auntie Ellie both understood how serious the situation was, with Sarah and Meghan being such close friends. Among the many things we discussed was the importance of keeping everything under control and a secret, and not letting emotions get the better of us.

"At the end of the day, Will, it's up to you how you handle this," Auntie Ellie told me. "We are here for you, and we can help, but this is between you and Sarah." I sat back in the chair and let Lucy cuddle me, feeling the lines of her body against me.

We heard the front door opening and laughter from the hallway, Lucy and I parting a little to look more socially appropriate. Amy, Lucy's young sister, came in with one of her school friends, having been out that afternoon.

"Hi Will!" she said cheerfully. Amy was a great kid, and loved having me around. She did, however, sense that there was something amiss. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah, Amy," I replied, getting up to give her a hug. "Just having a much needed chat with your mum and sis. Good to see you though." She smiled and went off with her friend to her room, and I knew with them in the house our discussion would have to come to an end.

I decided to leave anyway, as it was beginning to get late. Auntie Ellie walked me to the door and gave me a hug.

"You know what you have to do," she said to me. "I am very proud of you."

Then Lucy took my hand, linking her fingers with mine as she walked me out to the car.

"Promise me you'll call if you need to?" she asked. I nodded, giving her a smile. She hugged me and kissed my cheek, letting her lips linger for a moment longer than usual.

"I promise," I replied. Lucy smiled, holding both of my hands and looking a little shyly at me.

"You can come back anytime too, if you need to talk."

"Thank you, Lucy." Lucy tilted her head to one side, then smiled a little sadly.

"You know, I would have done it," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"The hotel." I tried not to let the surprise show on my face. "I knew why we didn't, but I wanted to go with you. Sitting in there, God damn did I really want to."

"I...know, me too. Thank you for telling me, Lucy. It means a lot to me."

"Any time, Will, and when I say that I mean the hotel, too." She stepped close and leaned in, closing her eyes as her hands held mine and she kissed my lips, long, smooth and gentle. There was no hot, fiery hunger this time, and when Lucy pulled away from me she looked so completely satisfied I thought she was going to faint.

"If you change your mind, I will come," she murmured. She let go of my hands and walked back to the front door, turning at the step to smile at me one last time.

–

As I pulled into the driveway at home I got a text message from Jaimi.

- come upstairs

The briefness of her text made me nervous, but I took a deep breath, switching off the car and heading inside. I knew how to manage her this time.

I knocked on Jaimi's door and waited. There was a bit of rustling for a few moments.

"Come in," came her voice.

I pushed open the door to find Jaimi sitting up in bed, the sheets pulled up to her belly. My eighteen year old sister wore blue silk button up pyjama shirt and had let her hair down, but I couldn't tell what else she wore beneath the covers. She looked tired but happy to see me.

"Hey," I said, smiling at her.

"Hey you," Jaimi said sleepily. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah," I said, coming around and sitting on the side of her bed. She rolled over to face me, propping herself up on one arm and resting her chin on her hand. The movement raised some of her top so the smooth skin of her side was visible, but the sheets still covered her lower half.

"You went to see Auntie Ellie, right?" I nodded. "You know you can talk to me about things, if there is something on your mind," she said, reaching out to rest her hand on my forearm.

"I'm glad." I took a deep breath. "You're right, there has been something on my mind." Jaimi's eyes focused on me a little more intently.

"Is it bad?"

No, not bad," I shook my head. "Just lots happening all at once. I had Lucy to help as well." Jaimi looked down a little.

"You talked to Lucy about it too?" I reached out and put my hand on her hip, my hands brushing her silk top up her body to feel her skin. She was smooth and warm to the touch. It felt wrong that I could still taste my cousin on my lips.

"She was there, that's all. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you've been a big help lately." Jaimi looked up at me.

"Have I really? I feel like I haven't done anything." I smiled, thinking about our interactions lately.

"It's not what you've said or done, it's more than that." I reached out and placed my hand underneath her chin. "It's just you. That's all I've needed. It's been so nice having a bond with you like we never had before, and I wouldn't trade it for anything." I lowered my hand from her chin. I wanted to say something more romantic, and I had a feeling Jaimi wanted me to as well, but I didn't. She smiled.

"I've liked it too," she said. "I like being so close to you." Jaimi was gazing into my eyes and I was in danger of being lost in hers.

"I want to keep that, as we get older and life keeps moving forward." I smiled widely at her. "I hope to never lose what we have right now." Jaimi nodded, but I could see she had something else on her mind.

"Are you tired?" I said to her, testing the water. Jaimi shook her head.

"No, I'm pretty awake...lots of energy." I felt like she was experimenting with pushing those boundaries, to actually try for it tonight, and before this afternoon's encounter with Lucy and Auntie Ellie it probably would have worked. She was looking pretty irresistible lying there.

"Well, I can barely stay awake," I told her. "I'd love to stay up with you, Jaimi, but I really do need to get some rest." Jaimi tried not to look disappointed.

"So, you're going to bed?"

"Yeah, and I've got a lot coming up this week too. I don't think I'll be free much over the next few days."

"We won't spend much time together, then." Now I could hear the disappointment as well.

"Don't you worry. We will, Jaimi. I promise I'll make time for you." I reached out and stroked her hair gently, looking into her eyes.

"How about you get some sleep, ok?" I said to her. Jaimi smiled at me, her eyes closing slightly.

"Alright," she yawned. "Hey, will you be here tomorrow?"

"A little, for you," I replied. Jaimi lay down and I reached down to take the sheets, my hand brushing Jaimi's naked belly as I pulled them up over her.

"Thank you, Will."

"Goodnight Jaimi."

"I love you," she whispered. I smiled at her.

"I love you too."

Just before I left her room I turned and looked back at Jaimi, head down, looking rested and peaceful. It was then that I noticed something I hadn't before.

A pair of blue silk boxers sat on the floor next to Jaimi's side of the bed, the same colour and style as her pyjama top, and I could see some white panties lying inside them as well. That suggested to me that Jaimi wasn't wearing anything underneath her sheets...

–

When I woke up the next morning the weight of fear was not as prevalent as it had been in the past, but the weight of other things I had to do started to press in on me. I had work all day and university studies that I was beginning to forget about, so I spent the next few days trying to catch up.

In that time I stayed in touch with Meghan as much as I could, making sure she was happy and looking forward to our dinner date, particularly as I didn't see as much of her. She was improving as well, which was a great relief.

I knew I needed to get in contact with Sarah, too. I was making the same mistake I did before – letting too much time go by. I had the right words to fit the situation now, although talking about incest with Auntie Ellie and Lucy was vastly different to bringing it up with Sarah. I didn't want to text her, but when I did make time to call I went to her voicemail. I decided not to leave a message – what could I say that I dared have recorded? – and continued trying to call sporadically, but with no response. I knew she and Michael were busy, but this was getting desperate.

Wednesday came around fast and in the afternoon I started getting ready to go meet Meghan, feeling excited about a romantic dinner out. It was just what we needed, after all the stress and exhaustion we both had been dealing with lately. I spent the whole day looking forward to it.

I had tried to call Sarah again that morning before work, but once more I got no answer. I couldn't keep it in this time, and after her voice finished speaking I left her a brief message, just telling her there were things I needed to say, and wanted the chance to do so. I tried not to make it sound too serious in case someone else heard it. The name of the game was damage control.

I was worried about when I would actually be able to get these things off my chest, and to start helping Sarah by listening to her thoughts and fears as well. As it turned out, matters were about to be taken out of my hands.

I was going through some clean clothes to decide what to wear that night, thinking about the date and lost in my happy world for a change, when there was a knock at my bedroom door. Before I could even wonder why Mum, Dad or Jaimi would knock and not call out my name like they usually do, I opened it to find Sarah standing there, a tired, worn out look on her face.

"Will, we need to talk."

I silently stepped back and let her into my room, shutting the door behind her. Sarah sat on my bed and patted the mattress, inviting me to sit down next to her. She seemed calm but looked like she hadn't slept in days. I sat down feeling nervous, trying to catch my breath and remember everything Auntie Ellie had told me.

Glancing across at my sister, I was struck by her natural beauty, possibly because it had been so long since I had seen her properly. Whereas Jaimi had Dad's brown eyes, Sarah had inherited the family blues, and hers were a deep, mesmerising shade that drew you in and made you gasp at the small sparkles that were there. She always had beautiful eyes, but now they looked weary and tired. I wanted to say something, but Sarah started first.

"Will...you've always been a good little brother. I know we used to fight a lot when we were younger and that you got on with Jaimi better than with me sometimes, but as we got older I really appreciated having you around, especially as we became adults." She paused, looking down at her hands twisting together in her lap. "I know Meghan did too, and Will, I wanted to say how happy I am that you two are together. I am truly sorry I missed it."

"Sarah, you didn't miss it," I told her. "You're here now, and I know she wants to see you. Things have been up and down for her and I think she needs to have someone like you around, if you have time." Sarah smiled weakly and nodded.

"I will talk to her. Properly, not just in text messages or phone calls. But...I wanted to talk to you first."

"I – I know, I need to talk to you too."

"Will, I've never really been unsure of anything in my life. I knew I wanted to be a teacher long ago. I knew I would never want to leave this town. When Michael asked me to marry him, well, I knew that was what I wanted as well. He and I are perfect together." I nodded, agreeing with her.

"You are, I absolutely agree. I've wanted to be that strong and clear-minded for most of my life. I envy that about you."

"I waited a long time to meet a nice man, someone who would treat me fairly, like an equal, and who doesn't mind if I want to stay at work while he looks after the kids. That is a big thing for some people." She took a deep breath.

"The truth is, I wasn't just waiting for the right man, I was waiting for the one, and waiting in more ways than just marriage. Will, I lost my virginity to Michael, and he's the only man I've ever been with." She paused, and I could almost tell what she was going to say.

"The only man – until the wedding." With those words the harsh reality of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks. It was more than I thought.

"Oh God no. Sarah, I swear I didn't realise. I was drunk and, and I thought it was someone else..." Sarah had tears in her eyes now, and I couldn't work out what to say next.

"I know, Will. I know it was a complete accident. I know everything." She looked down at the floor, wringing her hands. I stared at my older sister. My tongue twisted, my mind froze. I struggled to remember where I wanted this conversation to go, but couldn't. I realised the thought of me having ruined her night because I expected to be drunk fucking someone else can't have been a comfort to her.

"How did you know –"

"About Taylor? I put two and two together, Will. I'm used to dealing with a classroom of twenty four children. I see things others probably miss." She gave me a shrug. "Taylor gave her card to Meghan, who helped me upstairs and let me in when I said I needed a minute to myself. I didn't realise a minute would turn into half an hour, or that I would feel so dizzy." She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and I reached over tentatively to take one of her hands in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. She didn't recoil.

"Sarah, I promise I will never do anything to hurt you ever again," I stuttered, tears forming in my eyes too. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this."

"I know, Will, I know you would never hurt me, but that's not it," she murmured, not meeting my eyes.

"Ok, so we can work it out, whatever it is. You and me."

"Will – I loved it." It took a moment for her words to sink in, and when they did all I could do was stare at her. In response to my silence Sarah looked up at me, tears running down her cheeks, which were going red.

"I did, I loved every moment of it. And despite how drunk I was, I also remember every moment. The things you did, the way it felt. God, even knowing it wasn't Michael made me love it. Then when I found out it had to have been you..." She stared into my eyes I saw a blaze of fire behind her tears. It shocked me, my hand releasing hers. Before I could withdraw it I felt her slender fingers grip me, holding onto me tightly.

"You are the only other man I've ever slept with, and I can't get it out of my head." I took a deep breath.

"Sarah, it's going to be all right. Believe me, I know what you are going through. I am so very sorry, but please, I need you to trust me, and I promise I will help you."

"How?" Sarah pleaded. I decided to be honest. If there was anyone who deserved that it was her.

"If you leave it, if you let it control your fears, your emotions, it will mess with you forever. I've felt that, I know how bad it is, how twisted things can get, and I'm learning how to deal with it." I looked back up at Sarah, confident I had a plan. "I can help you too. We can deal with it together."

"I don't want to deal with it."

"Then what do you want?"

"I want to do it." it took a moment for me to comprehend what she meant.

"Sarah –"

"I want to do it again, Will. I want to experience it like before." Sarah was holding my hand tight, and I didn't know what to do.

"Sarah, what you're saying, it's –"

"I know what it is. I want to know how it feels, without being drunk, without being face down. I want to be on my back, looking up at you doing me. I want to see that it's you."

"Wait, just...stop this, Sarah, I'm begging you."

"Please, Will."

"No, Sarah." Tears ran down her face. My heart cracked.

"Help me, Will." She was leaning in. I hadn't noticed it at first she was so subtle, but she was getting closer now, her lips not far from mine. She wanted me to kiss her.

"Sarah, I...I can't." I gazed into my sister's eyes and saw only loneliness. Sarah sobbed and, with the look of a broken hearted girl, stood up and ran from the room without another word.

–

For the rest of that afternoon I attempted to process what had happened between Sarah and I. Auntie Ellie had prepared me for many reactions when next we met, and I thought I was ready to deal with her, but the harsh reality proved I hadn't been.