The Winner

I only had one chance to fix this. Pushing either one of them away would be a mistake. A mistake so huge there might not be another chance to get them to trust me. I was out of options and time.

"Nick, wait." I moved back into the middle of the bed and held up my arms, no longer as concerned, or not as much, over being naked and exposed in front of them. "Saint, I'm sorry. Come here sweetheart. No limits, remember? Come talk to me some more."

It took some cajoling, and some promises on my part to never lie to them, but eventually both of them rejoined me in bed, Nick not bothering to drape the sheet over his hips before he snuggled up against me. He knew I'd seen him and he didn't care if I saw him now. I cared but I wasn't going to push him away. Not now.

"I don't know much more than you do." I took up the conversation where Saint left it, telling her that I couldn't teach her much. "I'm not that many years older than you are."

"But you're not a virgin. You've had sex before." Saint's nose was buried in the hollow of my collarbone. I could feel her breathing in and out. It gave me goose pimples.

"Yes. Even before I met your father."

"So how do you do it?"

"Do what? Have sex?"

Saint shook her head. "We've watched porn, I know how to do that. I meant; how do you keep people from thinking you're a slut even though you have sex with boys."

I petted Saint's hair, pushing it away from her face so I could see her. "I don't have sex with other men, just your father after I married him. And I'm not going to talk about all the other times with you. You don't need to know about that. This isn't about my sex life."

Saint appeared to think about that for a minute. "Oh. Ok, so, still, how do you keep people from talking about you like they do about me?"

I gave her a squeeze before answering. "Well, for one thing, I don't kiss my twin brother all the time in public. I might hold his hand and maybe kiss him on the cheek if he did something nice to me but I wouldn't go beyond that. Not in public where other people could see me do it."

Not liking that I had to say it, still thinking it improper behavior between siblings, I continued to explain. "In the house it's different but outside where others could see me, I wouldn't do it. You shouldn't either. You're smart enough, find a different way to show each other that you still care."

Saint lifted her head to look at me scornfully as she immediately saw through what she thought was just a ploy to separate her and Nick. She'd lain down on top of me, her body covering most of mine as her face tucked into the side of my neck while Nick lay quietly next to the both of us, occasionally running his hand up Saint's back but otherwise not moving much.

I'd tried to keep my legs together, but when Saint had sprawled on top of me, her knee went sliding between my thighs. Nick, farther down, had hooked my ankle with his, pulling my feet apart so he could fold his leg over my shin comfortably. Of course that put his mouth within easy reach of my breast but at least I wasn't spread eagle again.

My arms were free now as well, which did a lot to reduce the naked and helpless feeling I'd had in the beginning. Surprisingly, Nick just settled in to use me as a pillow, resting his hand on Saint's lower back. The way we ended up actually felt natural somehow, almost normal. Not quite normal, but almost.

While we talked Nick remained hard and stiff and I did my best to ignore the heat radiating off of him. And it. Which became much more difficult when he suddenly shifted and pressed against me again while kissing Saint once on her shoulder blade. Involuntarily I caught my breath as he moved and then seemed to loom over the both of us.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Saint lifted herself onto her elbows to look me directly in the eye, her lips only centimeters away from mine. "I just want to know what it's like for someone to love me."

" I love you. I do. I just don't know what it will take for you to believe me. I mean, how much more proof do you need?"

"Then kiss me. Please? Show me you love me. I'm right here, kiss me." Saint's lips barely brushed mine as she suddenly begged me for physical proof of my affection. "Kiss me."

At my lack of response, Saint stiffened her arms to push away slightly in preparation for getting up again. She still thought I didn't love her. I did. Now I needed to prove it to her. If she needed a kiss to believe me, I was willing to do that.

"Saint." Her name was nearly inaudible as I uttered it.

Saint paused. A fingertip turned her face to mine while my other arm slid over her shoulders and behind her neck to pull her close.

"I love you." The words barely made it out before I found her mouth, my tongue parting her lips as I kissed her to show her I meant every word of it. I pressed upward to kiss her again but she pulled away, turning her face to the side even as she shifted off of me to push me toward Nick.

"Kiss me." The words were even more urgent and heartfelt as she pulled Nick around, directing him toward my lips. Pleading with me. "Please? Kiss me."

Oh my God! Saint was saying the words but it was Nick who was feeling unloved. It was Nick who'd never kissed anyone except Saint. Even as I realized it was Nick, his lips were crushing mine against my teeth until I writhed from the pain. Instantly he lifted away, Saint caressing my mouth with her finger to soothe away the hurt.

"Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm too strong. I can't feel you. I don't know how much . . . Sorry."

Again the words came from Saint but it was Nick who was actually saying them. Somehow transferring them to Saint so she could speak for him. Another lightbulb went off in my head. Nick couldn't say the things he felt and wanted to say. He couldn't say he was attracted to other men. He couldn't say how he felt when he was embarrassed or hurting emotionally. He couldn't say how much he wanted to be loved. Men couldn't do that. Not in public anyway.

He and Saint would be shunned and ridiculed worse than they already were if he tried. Maybe he had and that's why Saint said the words for him now. Her femininity covered for him when he needed tenderness and care and love. The problem with that was he never got what he needed from anyone. Emotional interaction, for Nick, was a movie he watched through someone else's eyes and feelings. No wonder his frustration looked like rage, in a way it was. Metaphorically he was bleeding from the center of his heart and no one except Saint seemed to care. All anyone seemed to want to do was make the wound larger.

"Shhh," I whispered to Nick as I finally understood everything. I finally knew, I knew, what they wanted from me. What they needed from me.

They were asking me to love them and care for them because no one else did. They needed me because I was in a very unique position in their lives. They couldn't understand why I wasn't accepting their offer to really be their mom. To them, the only reason why I wouldn't accept had to be because I felt the same way everyone else did about them. I didn't love them.

They were wrong and I could prove it. It wasn't a kiss they wanted. They wanted me to kiss them because I loved them. It wasn't the kiss, it was the love behind the kiss they needed. The caring, the tenderness, and the concern that only someone who loved them would show to them. The nudity, the talking, the being in bed together, even the kissing wasn't what they wanted from me. That was all on the surface. What they wanted was for me to show them I felt the same way they did. It wasn't just a kiss; it was a commitment, sealed with a kiss.

"It's ok, just be careful. Show me how much you love me without hurting me. Kiss me. Like this."

Tipping my face up I gently touched Nick's lips with mine, my fingers cupping his jaw. Drawing away, I teased him to come toward me again, to kiss me, to love me. Nick followed me backward and down, shifting position as Saint moved further to the side so he could stretch to kiss me easier. I gave Saint a quick kiss to let her know she wasn't being left out as we all settled back in each other's arms.

Trading kisses with each of them, it wasn't long before Saint ran her fingers down my stomach and through my cleft, dipping them inside of me before rubbing the wetness she found across my flared and waiting lips. I moaned into Nick's mouth before I could stop myself. Kissing was one thing, even kissing naked, but I hadn't intended on going this far with her, him, them, with my stepson and stepdaughter. Yet there we were, Nick hard, me wet, and getting hotter from Saint playing with me as I kept on kissing her brother and not telling her to stop. I could have, but I didn't.

I moaned again from Saint's continuing exploration. Nick shifted further, both his thighs now between mine as he held himself above me. He didn't have to force my legs apart, I spread wide and waited for his weight to bear down on me. I wanted his weight on me. I wanted him to take me.

My body knew what it was doing. Conditioned by nature and enjoyment from the men I'd slept with in the past, and even more so over the months of my marriage, my body's responses were well established. It knew exactly what it was supposed to do. It was my head that was refusing to accept it.

Except right now my head could go to hell, my body was in charge. I had a strong, handsome, very aroused and excited, man in bed with me. Wanting me. Needing me. Desiring me. My body knew what it wanted from him. And what it was supposed to do to get it. Automatically I tilted my hips when he was in the right position. Unintentionally I whimpered at the delay.

As ready as I was he easily slipped inside of me. Thrusting himself all the way in with one long smooth push, he filled me while I gasped, throwing my head backward and pulling him deeper with my hands on his hips. Saint made a small noise of pleasure as he first entered me. Rolling flat on her stomach next to the both of us, she fisted her hands and began pumping her hips in time with Nick's thrusts. Head turned to the side with her eyes rolled up until only the whites showed, her breathing was exactly synchronized with Nick's as I melded my body to his.

I cried. I wrapped my arms around Nick's shoulders, lifted my legs, and cried. Saint and Nick both needed me to do this for them. For them and for their father who couldn't show or do any of this for them. I loved them, but I still cried over the fact that I'd made it too easy for them to have me.

They hadn't planned this, I let them have me. I could have stopped it. I could have put limits on what we did. I didn't. Instead I gave myself to them. I allowed it, even though it was wrong to have sex with them. I was their stepmother and this was wrong. Yet I allowed it to happen.

I did it because they needed me. There wasn't anyone else. Even their real mother couldn't have done this for them. Not herself. They needed someone like me. Someone who loved both of them. Someone they loved in return. Someone they trusted enough to ask for help and not be afraid of being laughed at or punished for it. Someone who would teach them what they needed to know. Except they shouldn't learn the forbidden things. The things we were doing together right now. Except for them there wasn't any other way. There probably wouldn't ever be any other way. Not for them.

It was too late for second thoughts. What was done was already done and there was no turning back. I pulled Saint's nearest fist closer and shoved two of my fingers into her grasp. Unaware of my touch, she continued to pump her hips in time with Nick. Nick lifted his body off of me and kissed my neck, stilling as he tasted my tears, his eyes filled with concern that he was hurting me or forcing me to do something I didn't want to do.

"Don't stop."

I wasn't going to tell him sex was wrong. I wasn't going to hurt him that way, not now. I shouldn't have done this but that was my fault, not his. He didn't need to be told he was bad for doing what I'd let him do. What I'd encouraged him to do. What I'd helped him do. This was my fault and I wasn't going to mess up his life over it. I was strong enough to live with it, they weren't, and it was my role as their mom to ensure they weren't hurt by anything, including my mistakes.

"Come on Nick. Don't stop." Lifting myself I kissed him urgently. Spreading my legs wider, thrusting my hips into him, feeling him slip deeper inside of me while I tried to pull him back down. "Kiss me. Prove that you love me."

Nick kissed me again before dropping back down on top of me. Possessing my body as he returned to thrusting into me. My breathing got faster and deeper as I lifted my legs higher and curled my toes. Oh god, yes!

It didn't take long. Nick's smooth deep thrusts quickly became more aggressive, the wet slapping sounds of sex getting quicker and louder. With a grunt he thrust deep and began to really plunge himself into me. I could feel him throbbing, pumping his semen into me as he pulled almost all the way out before making a quick thrust back in as deeply as he could. I could feel him throb and swell every time he slammed deep into me.

Saint cried out. Squeezing my fingers so hard I was concerned about her breaking them, she squealed behind rigidly clamped teeth . Legs shaking she arched her back. Lifting her butt to raise just her lower body off the bed, she pulled her knees apart to unleash a flood across the bed linens. She kept on thrusting and squirting while Nick continued pumping and throbbing inside of me.

When he was finished, giving me one last kiss while I ran my hand across his back and chest, Saint suddenly lifted her face. A worried expression flickered through her eyes causing her to push herself up on her hands and knees and reach for me.

"Mom, I . . ."

"Shh, It's ok."

I soothed her fears with a caress down her cheek. My commitment to loving them overrode my mistake in letting this go too far. I could, and would, bear that burden and I would not shift it to them. Unlocking my legs from around Nick's hips I hugged him tight while I talked to both of them.

"It was unexpected, ok not really unexpected, but I'm not mad or anything. We didn't do anything wrong or bad. I just wish you could have told me it was Nick and not you who needed this before we did anything."

"Nicky." Saint corrected me again. "I'm Nicky."

"Nicky," I agreed.

Another kiss before I nudged Nick, Nicky, to get him off of me so I could roll onto my side facing Sin. Without my asking, Nicky snuggled up behind me exactly like a good lover should. He even took the hint, once I tipped my head slightly in invitation, to kiss my shoulder and nuzzle my neck. Moving my hair out of the way he bit me softly. Good boy Nicky. Yesss, just like that.

"No bite marks." I warned him as he got more aggressive. "Don't hurt me."

Nicky rumbled wordlessly but kissed where he'd bitten me. Smoothing the sheet where I wanted Saint to lay down, I invited her closer. It was her turn to learn what it was like to love someone other than her twin.

"Come here sweetheart. Let me show you something."

As Saint lay down next to me, I rose up on one elbow to play with her body, pressing and rubbing her with my palm as I ran my finger up and down through her lips. Probing deeper between her legs I slipped inside to gently find her G-spot. Saint gasped and grabbed at my wrist when I touched it and laid my thumb on her clit at the same time. I gave both of them a gentle rub before concentrating solely on her G-spot.

"You have to be really nice in the beginning." I started telling her what I was doing. "There's a special sex button hidden right there. If you're really nice it'll stand up and you'll feel it. Once it comes out of hiding you can get more aggressive in playing with it, but in the beginning you have to be really nice to it."

I continued to stroke her G-spot, the tiny smooth area thickening and engorging from the rubbing and stimulation.

"Can you feel it?" I poked at it harder with a stiff finger, long hard strokes combined with circles across and around the raised knot it'd become. In and out and around I massaged her secret button, increasing the speed and intensity until she was panting, whining, and straining up against me.

Saint spread her legs and whimpered, her breathing coming faster and faster, Nicky matching her breath for breath as he looked over my shoulder. Unlike Saint when we'd made love, his eyes were open and he was aware of what was going on. He was still connected to Saint, the synchronized breathing told me that, but he was also aware of her, me and himself.

It was very different from Saint's total immersion into Nicky's emotions and pleasure during my lovemaking with him. Did that mean Saint gave up control? Or did she steal his emotions and feelings for her own? Did Nicky take her awareness from her, forcing his feelings onto her? I had no idea and I didn't know how to ask, or whether they knew. Or if there were even words that could let them answer the question.

Suddenly Saint arched her back, thrashing and slamming her knees together only to spread them wide apart again. Her vagina pulsed and she began to squirt once more, filling my palm with her spraying wetness. Her voice rose in a shrill squeak as she squirted and bubbled like a fountain.

"AhhhhiiiiiiiiieeeeeEEEEEE!"

As Saint squealed, Nicky groaned and grabbed my hip, pushing his stomach against my butt, his erection probing between my legs for me. I hitched my leg forward to give him room, with a quick gasp as he immediately slipped himself into me from behind to start throbbing inside me again. Apparently the orgasm connection went both ways like the breathing did. Nicky was cumming along with Saint without any outside physical stimulation. Which made two orgasms in a matter of just a few minutes for him. Both times inside of me, filling me up completely.

"Good girl." I praised Saint. That smile, the one impossible for anyone to fake, flashed across her face as she looked up at me. Oh sweetheart! If I didn't already, I'd love you just for giving me that smile.

I twisted and kissed Nick, praising him too. Thanking him for being so good to me and taking care of me. He wrapped his arms about me, squeezing gently and being careful to not overdo it.

Once he stopped throbbing inside of me, easily slipping out as he lost his erection, I rolled flat on my back once more. Both Saint and Nicky immediately cuddled close, hooking their legs over mine, spreading my thighs apart again.

I was a mess from being used twice in a row but still more excited than I'd ever felt before. I tried to tell myself I was a bad stepmother for allowing it in the first place, except it felt so good I secretly wanted more. My head agreed with my body on that point at least.

Saint ran her fingers down my body again, slipping them inside and coating her fingers with Nicky's and my dual juices. She sucked on her fingers one by one after smearing them over my lips and kissing me. I could taste myself and Nicky's cum, Saint somehow adding a spicy something to mingle it all together. It was heady in a way I'd never tasted before. Different. I liked it more than I normally did.

"Yes, I like the way it tastes too." I answered the unspoken question in her eyes, lifting my hips as she sucked on her fingers some more.

Saint grinned and shifted until she was comfortable between my legs. Pressing her tongue into me, she licked and licked and licked, pumping her fingers directly into my G-spot like I'd just shown her. She kept flicking her tongue in circles around my clit as she fingered into me.

"Oh my God!"