The Wrong Turn

Just a story that is a bit tongue in cheek.not meant to offend anyone.

Rodney Washburn was driving around Cape Cod one fine day, the fog moved off the Atlantic and it was very hard to see much.

Shortly after noon he had need for a rest room. He spotted the bright neon flashing of "Miller and Bud's"

Since He had quite a pressing matter to attend too, he knew this was the place to stop.

He walked inside and spotted the restroom sign. He made a beeline to the room. He stood at the urinal and relieved himself.

The bathroom door opened and another guy stepped up the adjacent urinal. Rodney just minded his business and kept doing what he was doing.

Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw the other guy leaning a bit to close. He turned his head a little and sure enough, the dude was eyeballing him.

Rodney finished his duty, washed his hands, pushed the hand dryer, and left the room and the guy behind him.

He hadn't had a thing to drink all day so he decided to get himself a beer.

He sat at the bar and ordered a bottle of Bud.

The TV was on in the corner and he watched the highlights of last night's Sox game on NESN.

"Yeah ain't it a damn shame, he gets paid four million and he just whiffs at the ball." Said a voice from someone who had sat down next to him.

It was the guy from the bathroom

"I'll have what he is having." The voice was coarse.

The bartender slid the bottle in front of him.

"I haven't seen you in here before guy, where you from?" Mr. Coarse asked.

"Southbridge." Rodney muttered.

He went back to watching the game and ground when four million dollar whiffer struck out.

"Little ways from home aren't ya?"

"A little." Rodney was getting uncomfortable. Why was this guy bugging him?

"Looks like your beer is getting low?" Mind if I buy you another one?

"No its ok I should get going." Rodney said.

He lay a 5-dollar bill on the counter and stood up to leave.

Mr. Coarse placed a beefy hand on Rodney's shoulder.

"Sit down, youse's just got here brother." "Barkeep another beer for my new friend here." "Say what's your name brother?"

"Ro" Rodney stammered and decided not to use his real name "Ralph."

"Nice to make your acquaintance there Ralphey boy." Mr. Coarse said. "Mine is John."

"Oh hi John. Ralph said.

John reached over and kissed Rodney full on the mouth.

"Mmm nice, "John said as he pulled away and smacked his lips.

Rodney took quite a slug of beer to hopefully take away the taste of another man's kiss.

Suddenly "Funky town", starting blasting on the jukebox.

John grabbed Rodney's arm

"Let's Dance sexy." John said, and led Rodney to the dance floor.

Those that were in the bar got up and starting dancing with each other, bumping hips, and elbows.

Rodney was suddenly trapped in a sea of men. Every time he tried to squeeze out of the mass, someone would push into him.

" "Did someone just grab my ass?" Rodney thought in horror.

He was suddenly pushed into John's chest.

"Fancy meeting you here." John said with a wink and put his hand between Rodney's legs.

Rodney was both shocked and sick to his stomach.

"Um I think there is some mistake, I am not gay." Rodney stammered

"No?" "Are you bi then?" John asked with a quizzical look on is bearded face.

"No, I only like women, sorry." Rodney said

"So you are telling me you are straight? John asked. .

"Yes sorry again I am straight." Rodney said.

"We can't convert you; we can't make you change your mind sugar pants?"

"Mmm no don't think so." Said Rodney.

"Hey, everyone sugar pants here say he's is straight." John yelled to the crowd.

They all stopped bumping booties to look at Rodney.

"So why are you in a gay bar then?" Someone asked.

"Well it was foggy, I got lost, and I needed to take a piss." Rodney stated.

"You being honest?" You sure you aren't just a little bit curious.

"Nope sorry." "I do respect your lifestyle choice though." Said Rodney

The music stopped and everyone seemed to move back to their tables and stools.

Rodney saw the opening and got of there quickly.

He got in his car and drove away.

The sun was out now and the fog had dissipated. He saw the bars name now clearing in the rear view mirror "Zorro's gay blade"

"Fitting" he thought. "Fitting"

He got back on Route 6 and headed west toward Boston.

As he hit the town limits, he saw a sign up ahead.

Thank you for visiting Provincetown. Hope you enjoyed your stay. Please come again soon.

Someone had sprayed painted out the word come and replaced it with cum.

Rodney just shook his head and said out loud

"I don't think so!"