There and Back Again Ch. 003

As I hoped, Cailan still had a key to his own chest (he'd given someone the spare, not the original, for safekeeping) and was able to recover the documents that I remember learning about from the 'return to Ostagar' downloadable content. He was still giving me weird looks for knowing he needed to do it.

The camp had obviously been overrun, and almost everything had been damaged or tainted. We didn't salvage any more food or equipment except what I already carried. I was happy to notice there were far fewer corpses than there had been people when I came through the camp the evening before, though I did realise that most of the corpses I could see were human. No pointed ears to be seen anywhere. I guessed the human servants hadn't been keen to listen to the poor elf who helped me. I sighed. Duncan commented on the low number of bodies as well, and I mentioned that I had told a servant to take as many people as she could and leave. Duncan's eyes narrowed again as he looked at me, but I just shrugged, trying to look nonchalant.

Duncan took the lead as we left Ostagar, Cailan trailing a little behind. I tried to follow him, but he seemed determined to walk beside me, not in front. Duncan's pace was a little too aggressive for much talking, and I mentally thanked whatever magic that had given me this body instead of my own - I was able to keep up, if it did leave me a bit breathless. We nibbled on the rations in my pack as we walked, and after I had handed them out Duncan insisted he carry it for a while to give my shoulder a rest. As the only one of us who hadn't really been injured, I objected, but he just picked it up and strode off, leaving me either to allow it or chase him to get it back. I rolled my eyes, and Cailan laughed.

"Never underestimate the stubbornness of a Grey Warden," he whispered, just loud enough to ensure Duncan heard him. I snickered.

Bathroom stops became suddenly that much worse than just peeing in the woods. Now I had two impatient men waiting for me, so drip-drying was no longer an option. At least so far none of the leaves I'd scavenged had been poison ivy or anything. I hoped.

We stopped well before dark, making camp by a small stream, in a valley between two small hills. Duncan left me with Cailan to collect wood and try to build a small fire, while he went to go 'scouting'. At first, Cailan tried to chat, but I was incredibly...awkward. I didn't want to get into details of my identity and origin, as it were, until Duncan was back, and I truly had no idea how to address a King when making small talk. I remembered not to call him by name, just barely, but that left me throwing far too many 'your majesties' into the conversation. He probably thought I was simple-minded, if not deranged. I'm building a campfire in a computer game world. Of course I'm deranged.

I finally grabbed a small pile of twigs and dry grass, offering to light the fire if he would find some larger pieces of wood.

"Oh good. I hoped you would know how. It's embarrassing, but I've never camped outside before without an army of servants to do the whole 'build a fire' thing. I doubt I can be much help, really."

He wandered a little way off, and I built a teepee of twigs around the pile of grass, inside a larger ring of stones, as per my vague recollection from the school camping trip we took in about eighth grade. I checked to ensure he wasn't looking, then slipped my hand into my pocket and pulled out the Zippo lighter I had hidden there. Striking it, I lit the grass, and after a few moments of hoping, the kindling lit. I breathed a sigh of relief and put away the plastic-wrapped lighter. I took one small water purification tablet out of my pocket, surreptitiously adding it to the water skin, before refilling the skin from the stream. When Cailan returned, we slowly added sticks to the fire until we had a small blaze. Cailan looked impressed. I blushed. I found a rock to lean back against, pulling my knees up to my chest and letting my head fall back, closing my eyes, feigning fatigue to avoid more awkward chit chat. Cailan lounged on his side on the opposite side of the fire, looking sad and thoughtful, in addition to bone tired. He fell silent and let me be. Thank God for small mercies.

Duncan returned after a bit, declaring us safe from darkspawn. He was carrying a small, furry, dead animal. Rabbit, I discovered. I wondered if I would gag, wistfully thinking about sterile looking, plastic wrapped meats at the supermarket at home. Duncan methodically skinned and gutted the creature and fabricated a makeshift spit, setting it to roast over the fire. If he was surprised that between us, we had managed to light a fire, he didn't say it. He crouched, more than sat, tensed to spring, silently staring into the fire for a few minutes. The silence seemed almost companionable, but I knew it couldn't last. Duncan had Questions - I could practically hear the capital Q. I had decided that, when he asked, I would just spill the entire story, in whatever way I could think of to make it make sense, and see what happened. Duncan finally cleared his throat.

"So, my Lady. I'm quite sure we have never met, yet you seem to know me, and I'm certain there were no women in the army or with the Grey Wardens. You're not a servant; by attitude, you act like a noble, but you know how to start a fire, and you don't know how to use a health poultice. You show up on the battlefield, apparently looking for me, in the middle of a battle that none of the three of us should have survived. You are quite the mystery. Care to start with who you are and where you came from?"

"I...well. That's sort of a big question. First off, I'm not a lady, so you can stop calling me that. I'm just Sierra. I'm not from here. From Thedas, I mean." Cailan looked like he was about to interrupt, but Duncan raised a hand and he stopped. "In fact, compared to here, I'm not exactly sure where I come from. I know, that's weird. I..." I trailed off, thinking. "Somehow, I came here by magic, I guess. I wasn't planning it, but something, somehow, brought me here. I woke up yesterday in the middle of the Korcari Wilds.

"Where I come from is a really different sort of place. And my people have, well, it would seem like magic, I'm sure, but it isn't quite. There's no magic in my world, just science. But regardless of how it works, my people have a way of seeing other places. Like Thedas. You just look through a special window, and can see what's happening in other worlds. We don't have the ability to travel to them, but we can watch. We can interact, a little bit. It's sort of like...a sending stone? In a limited way, we can even see into the future of the places that we watch.

"So over the past while, I've been watching Thedas. It's very different than where I come from, so it's interesting. As such, I've been able to watch some of the events leading up to the ending of the Blight. I can't see everything, and the timing of events is hazy at best, but...it means that, in a limited way, I know what's going to happen in the next year or two. Though apparently what I know can be changed, so I'm afraid of what that means overall.

"I had a little bit of warning I was coming here, though I didn't expect it to be like this. I've been having these episodes. I get dizzy, I pass out, and when I wake, I'm in Thedas. I stay here for a while, and then eventually wake up again, at home. I thought they were dreams, at first. The doc...healers, at home, haven't been able to figure out what is happening. But then, a few days ago, I woke at a farm, and had to watch darkspawn slaughter an entire family. I tried to help, but...but...I don't know how to fight, it's not something I do at home, and I wasn't able to save them. Except for the baby. When it was over, I tried to bury the people - that's what we do with the dead, at home - but then I heard horses, and I hid...and when I woke, I was back at home but covered in splinters and cuts and bruises. Dreams just don't do that!" I was babbling, by this point, the horror of that day at the farm still fresh, tears streaming down my face. I sniffled and wiped my face angrily on my sleeve, trying to hold it together, trying not to sound insane, but the tears just kept coming. Maybe I am insane. Don't forget, that's entirely possible.

"After that, I figured I might end up here again. When I realised I was in the Korcari Wilds, I headed to Ostagar, since that was the only place I knew how to find. I had no idea if it was before or after the battle. When I saw all the darkspawn corpses in the Wilds, I knew that the Grey Warden recruits had been... " Duncan gave me a startled look, and I realised how close I had come to revealing Grey Warden secrets. "...scouting...so I figured it was close to the battle. I knew what was going to happen, and I tried to get there sooner, I really did, but I wasn't fast enough. So instead I tried to catch up to you, to convince you to withdraw or, I don't know, something, before Loghain abandoned you...but I was too late for that, too. The battle had started, and there were so many darkspawn, and people dying everywhere...It took me forever to find you, and by the time I did, that ogre had...and then I thought I had lost you both, that I was going to have to watch you die in person, instead of, uh, through the window, and...I don't know what happened. The ground shook, and a bunch of darkspawn died, and I figured there must have been a mage somewhere that I couldn't see...and then I passed out. Woke up moments before you did, Duncan."

I stopped talking, concentrating on trying not to weep. Before the farm, I had never seen a dead body in my life. Definitely had never seen a battle, or a darkspawn, a monster. Playing computer games had not prepared me for the violence, the noise, the smells of people screaming and fighting and dying. Even now that coppery scent of blood still lingered in my nose, and I wondered if it would ever go away. Finally allowing myself to realise how dangerous, how insane this was, how incredibly stupid I'd been to wade into the middle of that battle, the tears turned into full out sobs, and I put my head on my knees and fell apart. After a few stunned moments, it was Cailan who came over and put a hesitant hand on my arm. When I didn't object, he put his arm over my shoulders, comforting me, and I eventually curled into his side and bawled. I hated myself for doing it, but couldn't seem to stop. Finally, after what felt like hours but was probably only minutes, I fell asleep, my head still on the shoulder of the King of Ferelden. What a mind fuck.