tagIncest/TabooThinking About My Sister

Thinking About My Sister

byemquzu©

PART 1 - THINKING ABOUT NOW

"The greatest battles of life are fought out daily in the silent chambers of the soul." -- David O. McKay

*

She blinked once, and then twice, her eyes continuing to look at me, not saying a word. I could only just make out their soulful presence in the darkness, but a moonlight reflection coming from the windows glinted across her pupils as we both lay there, motionless, the only sound, the wind outside and our shortened scared breaths.

We weren't scared of ghosts or murderers or phobias or witches. We were scared of where this was going, what we had done and the future, if indeed we had one. Everything was racing through our minds and the thoughts were paralysing.

So here we were, two sisters trying to find the energy or willpower to move forwards but neither wanting to admit the truth. Life seemed so clear yesterday but today, everything had changed.

I looked down at her naked body lying next to me. The night was humid and there was a warmth between us, something hot created by our pulsing emotions.

She looked incredible, the moonlight glistening over her tanned skin. The arch of her back sloped down to her thin waist and then up again to the roundness of her bottom, letting her figure form a landscape, silhouetted in the darkness.

My eyes continued to caress her body as they moved along her thighs and up to her breasts. Her nipples were standing out on top of her glistening skin and even in the darkened room her breasts showed every movement she took flowing through them.

I could smell her scent, the sensuousness of her natural body mixed with perfume. Her smell turned me on so much and I could feel a wetness starting in my own groin again. She would almost certainly smell my excitement soon so I moved my legs closer together to try and delay it a little longer. My thighs slipping across with ease as a combination of my night sweat and excitement lubricated my skin.

She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. I knew what she wanted to say because I wanted to say it too; but neither of us could. If we said anything, then it would make it all reality. If we talked about tomorrow or yesterday then today would become real and neither our minds, nor our souls would understand.

An amount of time passed, maybe minutes, probably hours. Did it even matter?

The morning was approaching but the only thing I could focus on was the beating of my heart, pounding through my entire body.

"Bon bon. Bon bon." It was perhaps trying to talk to me, maybe hoping to give me some advice. But the language of the heart speaks in a tongue known only to itself and our elusive subconscious minds. Its continuous mumblings told me nothing except that I couldn't take much more of this.

She reached her hand forward, sliding it along the bed with almost imperceptible slowness. Was she trying to reach out to me physically, or emotionally? We were only a foot apart but it felt like forever as her hand glided its way along. It was barely halfway, but my heart was racing. I wanted to feel her touch again, feel her sensual energy but something was stopping me. Maybe my conscience, maybe my lack of courage, either way I had to act.

"Please," I said in a soft tone, my intonation suggesting I wanted her to stop.

She was looking down but the words brought her gaze back up to mine.

"But then why did you come in here, why..." She trailed off as she sensed my hesitancy.

"I don't know," I said. "Because part of me wants to, but I don't think I can." My voice was just a whisper and I was barely speaking.

"But, this morning?" Her eyes tearful now and her voice sounded like she was about to cry.

"This morning we shouldn't have said what we did. I don't regret it but I'm not sure I could handle it. I'm worried what people will think. What the world will think. We should both forget about it." As the words left my mouth I knew I didn't mean them.

The look in her eyes was bringing me to tears too. How did we get here? How did we get to this point? Why didn't we stop each other? Why didn't we...?

The questions in my head meant nothing, they had no meaning because I knew the answers already.

We didn't stop because we both wanted it, wanted each other. We weren't drunk, we weren't high, we can't blame it on a lack of inhibitions. There is a word to describe what we both felt, why we did what we did, but neither of us dared utter it. The most magical and powerful word in the world, but at this moment it was a forbidden fruit.

I suddenly felt the touch of her hand on mine, our fingers interlocking and making our hands as one. I bit my lip as a shiver ran over my body. I wanted to stop her but I had no power.

I looked down at her hand but it hadn't moved, it was mine that had grasped hers. Was my subconscious taking control? Was my emotional side doing something that my mind could not? I gripped her hand tighter as my conscious body followed where my emotions had lead.

I looked back up at her eyes, her beautiful round eyes, my sisters eyes, they were smiling at me in a way only she can. Her hand responded to my lead and gripped back. I could feel another heartbeat, this time through my fingers. My sisters heart, beating faster than mine, and I felt a different feeling, something warm, something not unwelcome.

I smiled back and brought our hands up till they were almost touching our faces. This time it was her turn to act. She pulled gently, moving my hand closer, lifted her head just a fraction so our eyes could meet and kissed the back of it ever so gently.

I gripped tighter, instinctively reacting to her touch. Her lips caressed my hand and my eyes closed in response.

The wetness in my groin was increasing and I was struggling to hold back the pleasure. My resistance was weakening.

"Louisa," I whispered as my mind drifted back to this morning. The feelings started to return and my will was not strong enough to stop them this time.

I drew our clasped hands towards my own face and returned the passion she had shown, kissing her hand back.

Was it going to happen again? Would either of us be able to stop it this time? My heart was racing so fast now I could hardly breathe.

She smiled, and I smiled and we both hesitantly pulled our bodies closer together. I raised my knees up towards my chest exposing my womanhood to the room behind. She must have been able to smell my excitement now but I didn't care.

I closed my eyes again and decided not to think. My emotions were in control and my conscious mind had been rejected

PART 2 - THINKING ABOUT THIS MORNING

"There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable." -- Mark Twain

I was so looking forward to seeing my sister again. Over the last couple of years, as we had both grown up and moved into our own homes, we saw less and less of each other and in the last 6 months had only really spoken on the phone and even then just for a brief while.

It's amazing how quickly 2 years can go by and yet the power of the words we spoke that day still stayed with me. I found myself thinking about her more and more the less we saw each other and wondering how long would pass before the next time.

This all changed though when she phoned up out the blue a couple of nights ago and invited herself over. I was so pleased just to hear her voice but the thought of seeing her after all this time made me so happy I could barely breathe.

Straight after I hung up the phone I started to get myself ready to see her again. I booked with the beautician and stylist so I could look the best for my sister.

I was filled with very mixed emotions. I was looking forward to spending some time with her after so long but also a little apprehensive about how we would be around each other. I wasn't sure if she had thought about that day as much as me. Part of me hoped that she had, while the other part wished we never spoke of it again.

The following day went by so quickly as I counted the hours till she arrived. When the day came, my heart was pounding so fast it was almost coming out of my chest.

The moment arrived and there was a knock at the door. I bounded over to open it and when I saw Louisa standing there I couldn't help flinging my arms around her and embracing her fully.

"Wow, Leah!" She exclaimed with a laugh in her voice. "Have you missed me that much?"

"More than you know," I responded gripping her even tighter.

"I can see!"

I pulled myself back and looked her in the eyes with a smile on my face. "Come on in sis, I have so much to tell you and catch up on."

I pretty much dragged her over the doorway and she just managed to push the door closed with her foot before getting pulled into the lounge.

We talked for hours about everything and nothing but neither of us mentioned the one thing we were both thinking about. The words we had spoken almost 2 years ago. The words I hadn't stopped thinking about since.

It was after lunch that I decided to brave the subject, not knowing what response I would get so I kept it quite casual.

"Do you remember that time in the garden, when we said that stuff?

She paused in what she was doing, waiting to see where I was going with it.

"I hadn't thought about it for a long while," I lied. "But then when you called up it reminded me of how funny it was. Do you remember?" Even though I tried to hide it, my voice had an uncertainty in it.

"D'you know, I hadn't really thought about it. But now you mention it, I do remember. It was sunny right?

Now sisters have an understanding with each other and I knew instantly that she was lying too and putting on a front.

I nodded my head, just looking at her.

"Yes, and you were giving me a massage or something?" She was speaking quickly and not covering up her emotions too well. She gave a poor attempt at a laugh. "God, yes, now I do remember, we said we loved each other. How crazy was that. We were so young back then." She reached over to her water on the table and took a big sip and gulped it down.

Something came over me, some kind of force pushing me mentally forwards and I decided not to let it go.

"Yes, that's what we said. Did you mean it?"

"Of course I love you, you're my sister, but I didn't mean it in THAT way," she spoke quickly and then paused for a moment. "Why, did you?" She was looking me directly in the eyes this time, trying to feel for a response. Suddenly her whole face changed from a smile to something more, something deep.

I hadn't even realised it but I was nodding my head in response. "I've really missed you Lou." I said as I could feel tears starting to well up in my eyes and quickly wiped them away with my hand.

Her whole tone changed after my reaction. "Did you really?" She questioned, moving herself closer to me on the sofa and placing her hand on my leg for comfort.

"I don't know, honestly. At the time I did, but it's crazy so I tried to forget about it. Forget about you."

She put her arm round me and pulled me in close, her own barriers staring to break down as well.

"I think I meant them too," she was starting to cry as well and her grip on me increased. "But this is crazy. This can't happen. It's not real, it's just some crazy emotional thing, right?" Her tone was hoping I would agree but I couldn't. I didn't want to deny it anymore.

"No, it's not," I said, breaking her hold and bringing my head to look at her. "It might be crazy, but it's real. It's not going to go away and I don't think I can bare not seeing you again."

The words were flowing out of me and I was speaking without thinking anymore.

"Tell me you meant it too?" I moved my head closer to hers so we were just a few inches apart.

She waited a long while before moving forwards and resting her forehead onto mine as she spoke. "I did. I meant every word. But what does this mean? What can we do? It's wrong, it's just wrong."

She was crying quite heavily now, we both were and we stayed there for an unknown time, not wanting to move or go anywhere else. It seemed like forever but the feelings weren't going away, I could resist no longer. I raised my head up a little so our lips were practically touching and then pressed them gently onto hers. I could taste her tears as they rolled down her face. She froze and didn't react.

We held that position for a while, our lips touching and not wanting to move, but then she pressed a little further onto mine and began to kiss me fully. My sister was kissing me, I loved her, I couldn't resist, so I started to kiss her back, pulling her body in closer to mine and embracing the feeling. But I started to shake, the emotion of the moment was getting the better of me and I had to break it off, I couldn't take much more.

I sat back, wiped the tears from my face and then wiped hers away too. She managed to muster a half smile but I could see the disappointment in her eyes. Neither of us knew where to go from here.

The situation transformed quickly from passion to awkwardness and I really didn't know what to do, how to react

"I'm sorry, I don't know how to take all this," I said, getting up off the sofa. "I think I need some time, some space. I'm going to take a shower." And with that I left the room and headed upstairs trying not to cry even more.

She watched me leave. I could feel her eyes on me, her sad eyes wondering why she had opened herself up to me only to now be rejected. But that wasn't it. I wasn't rejecting her at all, I wanted her so badly but some small ounce of willpower I had left was making me run away, trying to protect me from what might happen.

The morning became afternoon and then night and we didn't really say much at all. We kept looking at each other, thinking about what to say but neither of us finding the words.

She was the first to speak after a long few hours of silence.

"I think I'm going to head to bed now. It's so hot and I think we can both do with the rest."

I nodded in agreement and watched her as she headed off up the stairs. I had setup the spare room for her next to mine and so I waited a good twenty minutes before heading up myself.

I did my normal bathroom routine and then walked down the corridor past her room. She had left the door open and I could see her lying on the bed, naked. She had her eyes closed and was perhaps already asleep.

I wasn't sure what to do. Maybe she was naked because it was so hot, maybe she was naked because she wanted me to see her, to react to her invitation?

There was something inside me that just wanted to sleep but my heart wouldn't let me, it wanted me to be honest with myself no matter what the outcome.

I headed off to my room to get undressed, but I never put on my pyjamas. My heart was taking over and pushing my head away. I walked back down the corridor, naked, nervous, not knowing what I was doing but acting on impulse rather than thought.

I walked slowly into her room and towards her bed, my hand reaching out for the sheets and lowering my body quietly down till I was lying alongside her.

When I looked at her again her eyes were fully open and I could see that she wasn't sleeping at all.

We laid like that for a long while, neither of us speaking, neither of us knowing where this was going but not able to leave.

She looked beautiful. She looked incredible, lying there naked next to me and I knew I wouldn't be able to stop things this time.

PART 3 - THINKING ABOUT YESTERDAY

"There is no aphrodisiac like innocence." -- Jean Baudrillard.

Yesterday, was in fact 2 years ago. The day my heart skipped a beat, the day the seed was sown and the day we said the words to each other that we haven't been able to speak since...

The house was empty, everyone had left early to beat the traffic and it was nice to have the place to ourselves for once.

The sun was beating down outside making everything hot, sticky hot, that deep summer heat which makes you melt no matter how much shade you get.

I wandered into the conservatory carrying two glasses of ice cold water, the cubes clinking together on the side with every step. My foot pushed the door to the garden letting it swing wide open and I tried to get through before it caught me but, as usual I wasn't quick enough and managed to spill some water onto my hand. The coolness of the liquid felt like heaven in the heat so I jerked the glass onto my other hand to balance out the sensations.

Louisa was laying on the sun longer soaking up the heat. She had her bikini on, and it was the in-thing now to have an unmatched set, so in accordance with fashion her top was light blue and her bottoms pastel orange. The combination really shouldn't have worked but somehow it did.

She had an amazing body and I was always jealous of how she looked. I think that's just a sisterly thing though as she was always complimenting me on mine and saying how amazing I looked too. I guess you always see what you don't have in someone else, but in fact we were actually very similar indeed.

She was 18 and I was 1 year older, almost to the day. She was the brunette to my blonde and we were both about the same height around 5 foot 6 inches. Her breasts were 34C, same as mine and we actually looked very similar in body shape and fitness as we spent a lot of time doing the same things.

Over the years we had become so close and shared so many experiences, good and bad which had built up an emotional bond between us that was unbreakable.

"Leah," my sister called out to me. She had turned her head and was looking over from the top of her sunnies.

"Coming!" I shouted as I sped up my step trying not to spill any more water.

"I wondered where you were," she said as I handed her one of the glasses. "I'm melting out here. Think I might have to strip everything off!

She looked over at me again with a smile and laughed when she saw my reaction.

"Don't fret," she said, responding to my look of concern. "I won't really. God, I think I'd be more worried than you!

And with that she turned onto her front ready to catch some more sun.

I'm not sure why I felt embarrassed, I mean, why should I? We've shared so much and I'd seen her naked many times before, but we were younger then. Her body, in fact both our bodies had developed so much over the last couple of years and we had gone from being girls to women.

We were both getting more and more sexually active and each of us had the odd boyfriend here and there but neither had really enjoyed the sex with them.

We'd talked about it many times in each other's rooms, wondering if we were both doing it wrong or if it was maybe just from a lack of experience.

We joked on one occasion about the possibility of us both being lesbians but decided we should give it a bit longer before we went down that road, laughing our heads off.

Recently though I had felt more awkward around her, not wanting her to see my naked body and getting strange feelings at the thought of seeing hers.

One night the other week, we even slept in our pyjamas in the same bed after a long girlie conversation and I remember having some strange feelings come over me that I'd never felt before. When we woke in the morning, I could sense she was feeling the same but we didn't speak about it and let it go.

I guess I just hadn't seen her naked for so long and was a little taken aback how incredible she looked.

My eyes glanced down to the side of her breasts which were now squashed against the fabric of the lounger and as I continued to look along the rest of her beautiful body laying there I found myself feeling strange, nervous and apprehensive. What was this feeling? I tried to ignore it and sat down next to her.

"Can you put some lotion on my back hun?" She motioned her hand down towards some bottles under the bed.

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byemquzu© 8 comments/ 75326 views/ 39 favorites

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