Thinking About You

I would like to thank Misty_Morning for being my constant inspiration and for always loving me. Main Thumse Pyaar Karthi Hoon, P.

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The house appeared dark from the outside, the security light was set off when someone passed in a car or on foot. As Sue drove up in her car, she was reminded of how dark the neighbourhood was without a sign of life. It suddenly reminded her that Nicole was not home with Josh yet.

Sighing to herself she turned into the drive and slowly edged into the garage as the door lifted automatically.

The garage was eerily quiet and dark- particularly in the moment between the door lowering fully and the light coming on. One could hardly call it a light; it was simply a naked bulb, dangling precariously from the ceiling- casting an even creepier stark white light about the place. Where the light reached it was glaringly bright- bouncing off smooth surfaces. Where the shadows remained- wrapped around the lawnmower and other haphazardly strewn gardening paraphernalia, it was as dark as night.

After collecting her belongings and locking the car, she slipped into the house via the internal garage door. She looked around the hallway, taking it all in again as though it were all new.

The table with the drawers in the corner, a mirror mounted above it. She smiled as she thought back to all the times Nicole would hover there as they were running late for a restaurant booking, checking her hair, making sure she wasn't falling out of her bra and so on. Not that she minded, Sue mused to herself with a smirk.

Then there was the clock on the wall, constantly reminding them that time was of the essence, and that time lost was never to be reclaimed. That thought sat badly with Nicole for the longest time, but now, she just took it as a reminder to absorb every moment and remember every possible detail. Sue shook her head at the clock and unzipped her light coat.

She smiled at the post- it that had been left on the mirror- having just noticed it now that she had moved to stand in front of it.

"please put the chicken in the oven...xXx"

Sue smiled at the thoughtfulness of the kisses at the end of Nicole's grammatical- disaster of a note. She slipped her keys into a drawer in the table, allowing them to jangle against a collection of coins.

"I always spend coins." Nicole had once said.

"Really? I always collect them...i have jars full of them everywhere." had been Sue's response.

Sue closed the drawer again, her fingers lingering over the handle, feeling the brass and the wood. She smiled in the knowledge that Nicole dipped in there as often as she checked her hair in the mirror. She opened the next drawer along, slipping out an envelope. Inside it was a picture of her with Josh, rolling around in an embrace on the grass in the back garden. Nicole had been on hand with her camera trying to take pictures of insects for Josh when she happened to capture that precious moment on film- another mind jogger.

Putting it back Sue slipped her shoulders from her coat and let it slide down her arms. She turned to hang it up on a hook on the opposite wall, next to one of Josh's hoodies and Nicole's leather jacket. She ran her index finger down the sleeve of the jacket, smiling as she remembered the first time she'd seen Nicole wearing it, in person. It had been at the airport; Nicole was walking through the departure gate, pushing a trolley in front of her. Sue's breath had caught in her chest as she spotted her, throwing her hair over her shoulder as she moved closer.

She smiled as she began slipping her shoes off and pushing them under the hallway table, she curled her toes in the soft carpet- thick enough to be felt through her socks. She leant down to roll them off her feet anyway and smiled as the thick carpet almost swallowed her feet.

Walking down the hall to the living room, reaching out for the door handle, she pulled it away quickly. Examining her hand she found that it was covered in body lotion- which was also smothered all over the handle. It must have come from when Nicole was trying to get Josh ready this morning and he kept running off. Laughing, she wiped her hand down her jeans and used her sleeve to grip the handle, reminding herself to wipe it properly later.

The first striking feature of the living room was the picture wall. Almost covered from floor to ceiling in pictures of all the family including CC, and of course of various artsy fartsy landscapes that Nicole insisted on photographing.

"One picture of one landscape is more than enough!" Sue had sighed once when Nicole had dragged her from the car on the way to a party, her camera in hand. She waited patiently with the odd interjection about the time, as Nicole completed almost an entire roll of film from the same 'damn vantage point' and facing the 'same damn way'.

"But every landscape is different from another and from itself moment to moment." Nicole had responded, Sue rolled her eyes as Nicole took another frame. It was only until the pictures had been developed that the differences moment to moment clear.

Sue never complained again.

She took a step toward the picture wall and smiled as she started at the top left corner. This picture was a close up of her- a cigarette in her mouth, writing something down by hand at the kitchen bar. Nicole had processed it in black and white- it was striking.

Moving along she found more pictures of herself, some of Nicole and some of Nicole's pregnant belly. She smiled and touched the picture, remembering how Nicole looked when she was pregnant. Moving down she found pictures of Josh, progressively getting older- from birth in the hospital to the latest addition- him dressed as a pirate last week, prancing around in the garden.

Sue laughed, Nicole had signed it "Shiver me timbers!"

Moving away from the picture wall, Sue slid her hand across the top of the TV, walking slowly around the room to the fireplace. She paused, her hand brushing the stone above the hearth, a devilish smile spread across her face slowly.

"What if he comes down to see if Santa has been yet?!" Nicole whispered.

"He won't, I told him that if he left his bed tonight, Santa wouldn't bring him a baby brother or sister."

"Sue!" Nicole scorned.

The scorn soon dissolved as Sue pressed her lips to Nicole's and gently lowered her to the soft carpet in front of the fireplace.

Sue shook herself from the memory and smiled as she fingered a scented candle that had burned next to the fireplace that night.

She manoeuvred around the coffee table and settled herself onto the sofa, leaning forward and retrieving an album from the shelf below the table.

Flipping through the pages she lost track of time as she moved between pictures of Nicole at her graduation, to herself mingling with guests at parties- ones that Nicole had taken quietly when she wasn't looking. There were more photo's of Josh as he got older, and some favourites from when he was a baby.

Nicole's favourite had been the picture of Josh and Sue together, when he was newborn. Sue was holding him up, her nose pressed to his, her lips in a pout kissing his lips. The shot was in full profile, and had been printed several times, in colour, sepia and black and white. The one in the album was in colour. Sue had the black and white one on her desk at work, and Nicole had the sepia one.

Some of Sue's favourite had been the ones of Nicole as she moved through pregnancy, Sue had taken her hand to Nicole's camera once, catching Nicole raid the fridge in the dead of night to find pickles to feast on.

"Baby...?" Nicole said quietly, gently nudging Sue awake.

"What...?" She answered groggily.

"I really really really have a craving for a vanilla milkshake." She said with a slight blush.

This particular incident had been at 1am on a night in January. Nicole had wanted to get out of the house and so they both wrapped up and Sue went to warm the car up before Nicole came out with a small blanket. They drove for an hour before finding a 24 hour dinner that served vanilla milkshakes- having stopped at 3 already.

Sue laughed, "The things I do for that woman..." she sighed softly.

Another of Sue's favourites had been when she had snuck a shot around the doorframe of the bedroom, catching Nicole measuring her stomach with a tape measure in the mirror. If you looked at the shot carefully enough you'd have been able to see a hand and a camera poking out from the side of the door in the mirror, capturing the moment.

Sue smiled and came to the penultimate page of the album. She didn't turn it over for a moment, sighing to herself slightly. It was rare that she looked through this album, and when she did she preferred to do it alone, at her own pace, allowing it to jog her specific memories.

She turned the last page and looked down at the picture. It was of her Dad, he was holding Josh in his arms when he was a few weeks old. He wasn't looking at the camera, rather looking down at Josh's sleeping face with a proud smile.

Sue left the page open on her lap as she stared off into space, remembering everything the album had brought up. It was not long before she lost all conception of time, and the rattle of keys could be heard at the front door.

"Hey sweetheart..." Nicole called, as she closed the door and put her keys away.

Josh came bounding into the living room, jogging Sue from her daydream.

"Mooommy!" he called as he jumped up on the sofa and threw his arms around her as best as he could.

"Hey sweetie, how are you doin'?" she smiled as she cuddled him back.

He didn't get a chance to answer before Nicole entered the room, her arms full with coats and bags.

"Hey..." Sue said, putting Josh down on the sofa and quickly getting up- closing the album and slipping it away before Nicole had a chance to see what she had been looking at. Sue took some of the stuff from her arms and put it down on the floor.

"I don't smell chicken." Nicole raised her eyebrow.

Sue took a panicked glance at her watch, it read 8:30.

"Fuck...I lost track of all time...I'm sorry...I forgot to put it in."

Nicole sighed softly..."Sue..."

"I was looking at our pictures, remembering."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I wanted to tell you that I love you and I love our family," she said, placing a hand on Nicole's bump and nodding in Josh's direction.

Nicole's annoyance melted away and she smiled softly, cupping her face and leaning in to kiss her.

"Josh, mom is treating us to a meal out." Nicole winked.