Thinking Man’s Action 01

Feeling more like a dead man than a student, I let Ileana push me toward our next class.

++++++

When I came home from school, Amy's car was in the driveway. I walked in the door to hear her vacuuming upstairs. Seeing Amy's cellphone in the charger on the kitchen counter, I took the opportunity to unplug the charger, put a piece of tape over her battery contacts and grab her SIM card.

I had just finished when the vacuuming stopped and I heard Amy call out. "Bill? Bill is that you? Are you OK?"

"I'm in the kitchen Amy," I answered. "What are you doing home from work now?"

Amy came flying down the stairs. "Bill, I left work early, I was so worried when you did not come home this morning, and then you were not answering my calls. I wanted to make sure you are OK." With that Amy put the back of her hand to my forehead. "You feel a little warm, are you running a fever?"

"No, I am fine Amy. Just tired. I'm gonna grab a shower and go to bed."

Amy gave me a little smile, than grabbed my crotch. "Want a little company in the shower? I missed you this morning."

I was not in the mood. "Maybe later Amy after I wake up. Right now all I can think about is sleeping."

Amy gave me a peck on the lips. "OK Bill, but you owe me."

I had no reply as I headed toward the shower.

+++++

That night at work Ileana showed up with a small guy with thick glasses.

"You get her SIM card Bill?" Ileana asked.

"Better, I got her whole cell phone. Amy thought something was wrong with the charger so she gave me the phone and charger."

"Cool," Ileana said, handing over the phone to the guy with glasses. "This is my friend from 'over there'. He does stuff with electronics and computers."

The guy with glasses just grinned as he put Amy's SIM card into some sort of reader, then attached a connector to Amy's cell phone. "Great, I am a level 6 cryptologist with a master's degree in electronic engineering and my own security software consulting business, and what respect do I get? 'He does stuff with electronics and computers'."

"Blah, Blah, Blah," Ileana said. "Can you do this? Or you just bragging so I'll introduce you to that cute dancer at the university."

"Done!" Glasses said, pulling out the SIM Card and disconnecting Amy's Cellphone. He then handed them over to me along with a USB stick. "Everything is on there you need to know, passwords, call logs, texts. If it was on the phone, you got it now."

"Thanks" I said, escorting both Ileana and Glasses to the parking lot. I told my foreman I would be in the office doing paperwork and only to disturb me if it was critical.

Steeling myself, I inserted the USB into my laptop and prepared for the worse.

+++++

A few hours later I was drained. Every time I thought it could not get worse, it did. With the phone info, and username, password, I was able to log into the cheaters website as my wife, Amy, plus use her phone info to view all her text history. Not only was Amy having cybersex in chat rooms almost every night, but her texts had her meeting guys around town at least once a week. Amy's actions followed a set pattern; chat room conversations filled with overtones of role playing, BDSM, exhibitionism, and other actions she had always rebuffed me at.

Then if her texts were any indication, she was carrying out sex acts with strangers at various encounters. Hell, Amy often hesitated at just giving me a blow job, yet she was sucking off guys under tables in the middle of restaurants and getting ass fucked in the back seats of cars in public parks. I do not know if it was any consolation, but it never seemed to be the same guy twice, although most of her fuck buddies flooded her text account begging for return get-togethers.

Like a train wreck, I could not take my eyes away from the screen detailing Amy's actions. Only when one of my guys knocked on the door to let me know they were clocking out, did I see what time it was.

Ileana was waiting for me outside the building to our first class. For the second time, I had skipped my breakfast with Amy.

Ileana saw it in my eyes before I even said a word. "That BITCH!" she spat. "Well you know the layout now Bill. What are you gonna do?"

I sat down on a bench. I felt weary, like I had run a marathon. "Oh Amy is gone, we are finished." I put my hands in my pockets. "I just feel so screwed. I really thought she loved me, we have been together forever. Going to live happily ever after with the white picket fence and 2.5 kids, plus the dog named Rover. Damn my whole relationship with Amy was all built on lies."

Ileana swatted me on the shoulder as she said, "Hummm, a relationship built on lies? I thought that was the very definition of marriage?"

I gave her a sour look before replying, "Right now, Amy and I don't have much, so it not like there is anything money wise to fight over. It just pisses me off that Amy is going to walk away from this scot free, while I get to be the cuckolded fool."

"Bill, listen, Amy is gonna really regret her actions when she finds out you know."

I looked at Ileana. "Sure, Amy may be upset she got caught. But so what? In a couple months or a yea,r Amy will get over it, latch onto some other sucker or one of her better fuck buddies. I'll still be the God Damn fool. Shit I wish there was some way to make her pay for it. You know pay for it but not go to jail."

Ileana looked at me a second then said, "Let's mind fuck her."

I was confused. "What the hell are you talking about 'Mind Fuck Her'?''

Ileana was almost giddy with glee. "Bill, you said you have been with Amy forever. What is she afraid of? Her deepest fears? Getting old? Ugly? Wrinkles?"

I looked at Ileana and said one word. "Fat."

"Fat?" Ileana repeated.

"Yeah, fat," I echoed. "Amy's mother is over 300 pounds. She is nicest lady in the world, everyone loves her. Hell Amy's Mom is one of the things I am going to miss when we split."

"Bill that is nothing," Ileana countered. "Every girl over the age of 12 thinks she is too fat."

"No, you do not understand Ileana. All of Amy's aunts and relatives are north of 250 pounds. Amy was a chubby girl growing up. She got teased all through junior high and most of high school before she lost weight. Amy is deathly afraid she is fat, getting fat or going to be fat. It is like a phobia with her."

Ileana had a gleam in her eye. "Bill let me think this over. That bitch Amy is NOT going to fuck over one of my friends without some payback."

+++++

Two days later I was in the bedroom. I had just vacated the shower after returning home from my night shift and was getting reading to head to class.

"Darn it!" I heard Amy exclaim from bathroom.

A few seconds later, Amy walked out. ""Bill, can you check the scale. It says I gained four pounds. Darn thing must be broken."

Now I knew the scale was working correctly, as I had adjusted the digital scale to be four pounds heavier before I left for work last night.

"Amy the scale is fine," I lied, shouting to Amy as I stood on the scale. "In fact, I even lost a pound."

As Amy reentered the bathroom, I quickly stepped off the scale as the readout returned to "0 0".

"Bill, Do I look fat in this?" She asked, buttoning up her slacks.

"What? You mean in this room?" I replied, squeezing by her.

"That is not what I meant Bill, and you know it!" Amy snapped at my back.

I gave no reply, so she tried a different tack. Standing in the bathroom door, Amy undid her bra. She knew I liked her beasts. "You don't think I am getting fat do you Bill?"

Normally this was my cue to compliment her and get some sex in return. But not this time.

I just shrugged after glancing up at her. "Amy, a few pounds just means there is more of you for me to hold."

That was not the answer she was looking for. Amy hooked her bra closed, and stormed into the bathroom slamming the door.

I grinned inside as I put on my shoes. "Let the Games begin" I thought to myself.

++++++

And so it went the rest of the first week, Amy fishing for compliments, while I deftly reflected them with replies that hinted she was looking heavier. The hassle of switching cartons, replacing her skim milk with heavy cream, low fat margarine with high calorie butter, etc. was a pain. But was worth it as the extra calories made her feel bloated. Amy complained about feeling slow, and lacking energy.

I even started calling her "Butterball". It was a name Amy hated and loved. Her late father had given her the nickname as a small child, so it brought back good memories. However it also was what some teasing classmates had taunted Amy with, so it also tended to make her depressed.

Meantime Ileana was monitoring Amy's cheating website account and her phone text messages via one of the two cloned phones of Amy's we had.

After class mid-week Ileana gave me a rundown on Amy's activities.

"She is still in the chat rooms every night, but not having as much fun as before."

I gestured to Ileana with a "give it up" motion.

"Well Bill, I have been deleting most of the request she gets, only letting thru the real wacko's and creeps. I also signed up as a male several times with different ISPs. I have been sending Amy requests about liking her 'size' and looking for 'extra-large ladies'."

I shook my head. "You do play dirty Ileana."

"No more dirty than what that cheater Amy is doing to you." Ileana huffed, as we headed off to class.

++++

That Friday night at work, I got a call from Ileana.

"Bill just thought you would want to know your 'loving' wife arranged for a date tonight."

"That little sneak!" I swore into the phone. "I want to ring her neck!"

"No worries Bill, I took care of it. I sent one of the Drag Queens from the campus chapter of the Gay Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered society to meet Amy's 'Date'."

I almost chocked as I laughed into the phone. "You sent a drag queen in place of Amy? That is fucking hilarious!"

Ileana was laughing also. "Not just any drag queen either. A six foot, overweight, drag queen. I think he still had his five o'clock shadow when he showed up and claimed to be Amy."

Tears were coming from my eyes as I tried to stifle my mirth. "Jesus Christ, how did Amy's 'date' react? The dumb bastard must have been in a state of shock."

"You would think so," replied Ileana. "But that is where I think things kinda backfired. Amy's date ended up going home with the drag queen. He just texted me. Seems like they are both having a good time."

"Well, at least someone is happy," I said. "My God, what kind of crazy kooks are on that website anyway."

"That slut of yours Amy, for one," Ileana came back with.

I winced. "Touché'. Speaking of the slut, what happened to Amy?"

"Amy showed up fashionably late. But the two lovebirds had left by then. She hung around for about an hour, texting furiously, which I blocked. I guess Amy finally figured she been stood up and left."

"Could not have happened to a better person," I said, than noticing one of my crew gesturing at me, I made my good byes and hung up.

+++++

The second week, I was getting some sleep for the night shift, when I woke up with a naked Amy atop me. Glancing at the clock, I saw it was early evening, I had about two hours to go before I got up for my night shift.

Amy and I had not had sex in over a week, the longest ever for us. She must have been extremely horny as Amy knew how little sleep I got. Amy was always so quiet and went out of her way to make sure nothing disturbed my slumber.

"I am sorry to wake you Bill," Amy said in between kisses, as she lay on my chest. "It's just I have missed you and I being together so much."

With that she reached down for me.

"Um Amy," I said. "Can we try another position? You are crushing me a little bit, making it hard to breathe."

Amy froze in her position astraddle me, her face became a red mask of fury. She rolled off me, jumping off the bed.

"Use your own God Damn hand!" Amy said stomping off. "Fuck you!"

"Apparently not." I thought as I rolled over and tried to get in a few more hours of sleep.

+++++

Later that same week, Ileana showed up at my door with a tiny, much older lady, who was wearing a vest full of pins and sewing needles, plus scissors, and a tape measure. A pair of reading glasses was perched atop her sharp nose.

Ileana bustled right past me with the women into the house.

"Bill, this is my friend," Ileana began pointing at the older lady. "She is a senior seamstress for the University Theatre. She has agreed to help us."

Ileana turned toward the lady. "Their clothes are in the bedroom closet, first room down the hall to your right."

Once the older woman was past us, and out of earshot, Ileana said to me, "Her only son committed suicide after his wife cheated on him, than left him with nothing in the divorce."

I was still confused. "What does that have to do with..."

Ileana just waved at me as she walked toward the bedroom.

I was astonished when we entered my doorway. Amy's clothes were spread out on the bed. In a speed I did not think possible from a human, the older lady was snipping, cutting and sewing. She was whipping different types of threads and materials around in a blur.

We watched for a while, than Ileana explained what was going on.

"On some of your wife's clothes, she is just snipping a few threads off the buttons. They will pop off about halfway through the day. Other buttons she is moving in, to make it seem like the outfit is fitting tighter. On clothes with only zippers she is tightening up the darts to make the fit smaller."

"Will this work?" I questioned, while the human sewing machine worked at a blurring pace.

Ileana just smiled at me.

++++

The next day, Amy woke me up as soon as she got home. She was in tears.

"Bill, it was awful! Just awful!" Amy said, burying her head in my shoulder. "I was at a floor meeting in the bakery. Everyone was there. It was my turn to speak, and when I stepped up with the new procedure, my buttons popped off my slacks, and three off my blouse. Everyone started laughing, some of the stupid men started making oinking sounds."

Amy wiped her eyes. "The supervisor said I should stop eating all the companies' profits. It was awful."

I patted Amy on the shoulder. "Now Amy, I am sure he was just making a joke. Why do you not just wear something else? You have a closet full of clothes."

This made Amy wail more. "I am too fat for my clothes, nothing fits anymore."

"So what Amy, just go pick out a new wardrobe."

This again was not the answer Amy wanted to hear. She pushed away from me and once more stomped out of the room.

+++++

Was I being an ass? Did I mention Amy was still going into the chat rooms, or had thrice more set up dates during this time?

Fortunately for me, Amy's dates had all been thwarted by the appearance of Ileana's drag queen friends from the University GLBT group. Unlike the first time, all of Amy's other dates had run like hell when the drag queens showed up and introduced themselves as Amy. Some of the men left skid marks.

The kicker came around the end of the third week on Thursday. Ileana introduced me to a guy. He was stunningly handsome. I mean movie star good looking. Over six foot tall, blond hair, perfect white teeth, with a square jaw and a broad shouldered physique you knew contained a set of six pack abs. Damn guy should have been on posters in men's clothing stores for active wear.

As we shook hands, Ileana made the introductions. "He is from the University Acting troupe, he is going to be Amy's date tonight."

I pulled my hand away from his and stared at Ileana.

"Don't worry Bill" Ileana said swatting my shoulder. "He is also VP of the Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgendered group."

I gave a sigh of relief. "Thank God," I said as I looked up at this 6 foot plus Nordic 'God'. "Hell, if I were not straight, I'd sleep with him."

The 'God' gave me a smile, then in a deep baritone husky voice that probably got every heterosexual females panties moist, he declared, "Sorry I do not sleep with married guys."

Ileana laughed at both of us. "OK, break up this love feast. Bill, I sent Amy his head shots to lure her in. I have also been chatting on line with Amy the past few days as him." Ileana jerked her thumb toward the 'God'. "They are going to meet tonight, I'll send you the audio file."

++++

The audio file from that night was brutal. Amy kept trying to get him out into the parking lot, men's restroom, coat closet, anywhere for sex, offering him every hole she had.

The 'God' kept telling Amy he was not into 'big' women.

I was embarrassed for Amy, as she protested she was not overweight. She was begging him to let her suck him off under the table right there to see what he would be missing.

It climaxed with 'the God' telling Amy he was not a 'chubby chaser'. However, if she ever dropped some pounds to give him a call, and she might want to start now by not putting so much cream in her coffee and laying off the bread sticks.

The audio file ended with a sobbing Amy rushing from the table.

I listened to the audio twice before a problem at one of the loading bays took up the rest of the shift.

+++++

It was Friday afternoon at the library before I got a chance to talk with Ileana.

"How was Amy this morning?" Ileana asked as we sat in a study room.

"She looked awful," I replied. "Amy's eyes were all red, like she had been crying all night. She wanted us to go to her mother's this weekend, but we have that Psych field trip at the zoo tomorrow. It pisses me off because I think she is just going up to her Moms to find a new group of playmates to fuck."

Ileana pulled out her clone of Amy's phone. "I don't think so Bill. I was going over Amy's calls and texts waiting for you. They are all to her Mom's number. Judging from the texts, her Mom has a whole weekend lined up of baking and shopping. Real Mother-Daughter bonding time."

I gave a derisive snort of disbelief.

Ileana shook her head. "Amy is licking her wounds after last night. We all want to go home to 'Mommy' when things get tough."

I waved my hand. "Okay, let's forget about her and get some ideas on this English comp paper. What is the topic we were given to dissect again?"

Ileana looked down at her smart phone and started writing on the white board. "It is define and dissect this phrase with examples and content. 'Act like a Man of Thinking. Think like a Man of Action.'"

"That's easy," I snorted. "It means don't do squat."

Ileana turned toward me. "OK Yoda, defend your statement."

"Listen Ileana, thinking men don't do shit. So if you 'Act like a man of Thinking', you will be frozen in place. On the other side, if you 'Think like a man of Action', you will be doing just that, thinking and doing less than squat. Ergo the statement means, do not do anything."

"Bill, you could not be more wrong. How on earth do you keep walking around and not bump into walls with your head so far up your ass," Ileana said. "The term 'Think like a Man of Action' requires a plan that is real world, not some pie in the sky bullshit. The second part 'Act like a Man of Thinking', means not going in guns blazing without a plan. A correlation can be made with the old saying 'If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."

I shook my head and disagreed, so we spent better part of an hour arguing and going back and forth.

Finally Ileana said, "I need a smoke, let's go outside."

"You can't smoke on campus," I stated, following Ileana to a fire door exit in the back of the library.

"I survived a motor round attack. I don't think a cigarette is going to kill me. Come on I know this fire door alarm doesn't work, sensors been shot since the beginning of last semester."

++++

Exiting the fire door, we were standing outside the back of the library. Walking, we were sandwiched between a dumpster for cardboard and the huge noisy air handlers. Ileana dug into the massive purse that all women carry, rooting around for her pack of cigarettes. Lighting up, she turned to me as I pantomimed exaggerated motions of waving the smoke away and coughing.