Thirty Days of Honeymoon

***

As the sun came up, Bruce stood on the tarmac outside Gotham International Airport, watching the private jet the three women had chartered take off. Beside him, Zatanna and Wonder Woman sat on the hood of the Batmobile.

"You should've let me thrash them," Diana said. "It sends a bad message to let the perpetrators of an offense against the mate of an Amazon go unanswered. Goes against the Amazon Way."

"And resolving a hostile situation non-violently?" Batman asked quizzically.

"With hot sex?" Zatanna added.

"The Amazon Way is malleable. Poor Brucie, though. Missed out on a whole night of crimefighting with his favorite wives."

"We stopped Two-Face from robbing a shipment of twenty-dollar bills," Zatanna reported. "You would've loved it."

"Please don't call me Brucie."

"Can we go home now, please?" Diana asked. "I want to forget all about Brucie's psycho exes."

"I only dated Selina."

"And Ivy for, like, five minutes," Zatanna put in. She got a look from Bruce. "Sorry, I talk to demons about all my boyfriends' dating history. It's better to know than to wonder."

Batman accepted it with a shrug. "Well, we do have a sex tape."

"Holy shit, you and the green Christina Hendricks!?"

"I never said I was in it." Batman tapped his wrist-console.

"Wait, we can't watch that." Zatanna glanced at Diana. "I mean, it is kinda private, right?"

"He's paying ten thousand a month for it."

"I'm paying ten thousand a month for it."

Zatanna rubbed her thighs together. "You'd better have a TV in one of your bedrooms..."