This Is The Last Time - For Now...

I can still recall the breathtaking floods of feeling that would overpower me during those first, brand new orgasms of my youth. I remember words that I associated at the time… frenzy, quiver, pulsing, vibrate, …climax! I also remember, that mingled with those exquisite surges, were also the guilt-ridden, self-made promises of: “never again…!” and “this is the last time…!” I smile now… at my hesitations and my inability to stop. There was no way I could ever… no way I would ever…!

I just didn’t know it then…!

I am in no way, vain and I am sure that I experienced the normal illusions… and disillusions… of adolescence… but I always liked my body. And as I matured, I became more familiar with my body and much more at ease with those delicious feelings of gratification and delight.

Now, years later… as I prepare for sleep… I wish to feel… once again… that unhurried… that build up…that hold back… hm-mm-m…the pure orgasm!

My body is still warm from my bath and I wrap myself in my bathrobe … totally naked underneath! I allow my self to think only about what I am going to do. I take a quilted, lightweight duvet and head for the rec room.

Everyone is asleep except for me. I wonder… hope… that any feelings of remorse that I may have had as a young girl, weren’t a contributing factor to the intensity… because it was an emotion or feeling I knew I could no longer assimilate.

I make myself comfortable… I remove my robe and lie down on the couch. I turn the light to a dim setting in the overhead hanging lamp, and lay back against the arm of the sofa… covering myself completely. I am quiet. I listen to make sure that all sounds are ordinary.

My breath is even … maybe just a little bit quicker…! I can feel my heart beating in anticipation… I stretch to my full length…

I pull the blanket down over my upper body and I look at my breasts. I am pleased with the way they look. I remember…just for a moment… how it felt to nurse my children… I watch my nipples react. The little pink bud grows in length and swells… the paler surrounding aureole becomes bumpy and rigid. I place my finger in my mouth and suck lightly. I touch my moist finger to the tip of my nipple and gently move it all over…smearing the saliva and allowing for smooth friction. I watch my nipple contract and pucker. The sensation is so good. I extend the same attention to the other nipple. As my eyes focus on the little buds in this state of excitement, I imagine that I can almost see them twitch in the cool air. I suck in my breath and grasp one nipple between my thumb and middle finger and I use a finger from the other hand to press the spongy tissue. I cup both my breasts and squeeze them together and lightly touch my fingertips on both nipples…then I pinch them lightly and pull them simultaneously… o-o-h-h!

My skin is very sensitive and I lightly graze my fingers downward…over my stomach and further… further. I squeeze my legs together but my hands gently part them again. I bend my legs and pull them up until my heels are touching my bum and then I let my knees fall apart. My left knee rests on the back of the sofa and my right knee… falls… spreading my thighs apart.

I imagine that I am being watched. I close my eyes. My fingers slowly inch over to where my legs meet. My fingertips feel the texture of my pubic mound… the hair is very short…

I pull a pillow under my head so that I can watch what I am doing. I tug the little pubic hairs ever so gently… I watch as my pussy lips move. I run my hands down either side against my legs… right down to my ass. My hips lift with a mind of their own and I feel a primitive desire as I thrust upwards. My knees close together and then fall apart again…

Hmmm… I know when I touch my cunny, it is going to feel so good!

My fingers run up and down the outside of my lips. I pinch them together… and I feel my clitoris extend as I pull the lips that surround them. I placed a middle finger of each hand on either side and I spread my lips as far apart as I can. I imagine that someone is watching. I just keep closing my lips and pulling them apart again and again. I use the thumb and middle finger of my left hand to spread my lips and my right middle finger touches my clitoris…the very tip…lightly. I feel the contraction in my pussy as my finger just lies there…not moving. I gently slide my fingertip… down the length of my spread slit… my clitoris is dry from exposure to the air. I press my finger tightly on my clit and lift it off again… press… lift… press… lift…hm-m-mm! I keep doing this until I feel tightness in my pussy lips. I press the lips against my clit and I pinch just a little harder this time.

I imagine that a naked man is standing beside me and he is asking me to look at him… to look at his penis. I am nervous. I squeeze my legs together.

“Look! It’s so big! Do you think it will fit inside that tight pussy? Look at it!”

I cannot… My heart beats faster! A gasp escapes my lips.

“Pull your cunny lips apart again and show me your little bud. I want to see you touching it. Just move your fingers all around. Move your finger lower and just feel the creamy juice. Dip your finger into the juice and spread it all over your bud… do it for me…doesn’t it feel so good? Now taste it! Lick the creaminess off your fingers… show me how good it tastes.”

I know that to hold back now, would be to deny myself that delicious warmth. My breath is faster… keeping rhythm with my fingers and the pounding of my heart. It is so very intense! I love it!

I promise myself that next time I’ll let the naked man touch me.. but for now I am sated.