This Time...

It was Juliana who led her through lines and made sure a plate of food was brought to her even though she could barely eat. Juliana who always had a handkerchief and helped her navigate the endless chatter that seemed to follow her.

"Are you going to see your mother's conclave?" asked one person.

Another sidled up to her and asked, "Are you available for a scene later?"

"Will you be staying here indefinitely?" someone asked that was fairly innocent and probably the most respectful.

And the endless, and genuine small talk: "I am so sorry for your loss. Lady Sara was a beautiful woman and a skilled temptress."

Juliana was exhausted from deflecting odd comments towards Carol. She wanted to wrap her cloak around her and carry Carol upstairs away from everyone. But she was the guest of honor now that her mother had passed, whether because of the genuine sympathy or out of the oddity that someone from the outside had come inside. But Juliana stayed and carried on being there for Carol, a job she did not mind and that Sir Glen gladly bowed away to.

Finally, the guests had dwindled down. There were only a few left.

Carol laid her head on Juliana's shoulder. Juliana hugged her.

"Tired?" she asked. Carol nodded.

Again, in Carol's bedroom, Juliana removed her cloak and sat into a chair in front of the fireplace while Carol disappeared into the bathroom. A servant brought in some food.

Juliana waved the servant away. She stood and then poured two cups of red wine. Carol returned and came to sit next to Juliana.

"Feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Wine or food first?"

"I am not hungry."

"Try a few crackers." Juliana slipped a layer of cheese on one cracker and handed a plate to Carol.

Carol looked at the three crackers and broke off a buttery, flaky, corner and nibbled the flakes.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked Juliana.

"Lots of things, trying to think about things you and I can talk about if you're not tired."

"I miss her."

Juliana smiled. Words didn't seem to be just right yet. They weren't going to be.

Carol got up and went to the wardrobe. "I know it seems silly, but I brought it here. And all I can think about is that no one ever would use this. Not me and probably not my mother." She pulled out the leather cloak.

Juliana watched, masking her surprise, and then went to go inspect the cloak.

"No, that's where you're wrong Carol, right here." She picked up the hem. "There are so many black cloaks here, each one of us has our own style. There's this white edging here along the bottom. White leather. That was your mother's preference. Your mother had a thing for white. Her entire conclave from top to bottom was white. So all the colors that would wander into the rooms stood out like giant shadows. I can tell you companions looked more menacing than usual. The first time I visited it when her second was in control..." Juliana had a smile to her lips. She did remember the night fondly, but didn't want to share with Carol just yet.

"I know she had given me this I just didn't think it would have been her choice to have it made." Carol's eyes fell on Juliana's cloak on the chair by the fire.

Juliana continued on. "Sometimes there's a trademark etched in a corner. But this most definitely was your mother's at one point. She wouldn't have given you anything else. It might have even been scandalous if anyone had given you theirs. It's a mark, a claim."

"I always wondered. I never wore it. I just never had a reason to. I imagine it might have come in handy, I suppose I could have posed at a Batgirl or something at a party."

Juliana laughed. And then Carol pulled away, walking to the fire. Her cloak had a twin. It was lying right in front of her. A flood of questions came to her and then Carol bit them back. If there was a reason for Juliana to not have confessed the pair of cloaks to her then Carol could avoid trouble for both of them by not speaking of it. She touched the white beaded edge and looked back at Juliana. Juliana looked down at the matching cloak and closed her eyes, wondering when the questions would come up.

Carol came back and gently touched Juliana's arm. "I know why you weren't there that morning. I know it wasn't your fault."

Juliana reeled.

Finally, Juliana found her voice. She couldn't look at Carol as she spoke, a fact that did not go unnoticed by Carol. "I didn't ever want to think it was water under the bridge, but we'd never had a chance to deal with it. You didn't deserve to wake up alone Carol. Not after a night like that."

Carol shrugged not knowing what else to say. "I wouldn't have known any different. I had hoped you'd have been there for me to talk to in the morning. I always felt guilty that you never asked me once to touch you."

"I learned a long time ago, that sometimes, and especially the first time two people explore each other sexually that maybe one person will have to put aside what they'd rather have just to let the other person experience what they need to. You were well worth that sacrifice Carol."

Carol looked into the fire.

Juliana paused as well. "It's been hard to think of anyone else, even after all this time. I must be unduly obsessed Carol, but you were worth every moment. And had I been able to wake with you in the morning I might have found that you were not worth leaving. And you're not. I find myself even now thinking of that night and I know you've changed. There is a part of me that wants to take you right here and right now, undress you in bed and recreate that night for us. But time has passed and you wouldn't want to do that"

"What makes you think that?" Juliana looked up at Carol surprised that Carol said anything.

"I didn't know if I'd see you Julie. And I told myself over and over again through the years, that you had moved on and probably found someone to be your partner."

"I admit, there were other sexual partners Carol, but they were inferior substitutes for you. And none were you. I had wanted no one other than you since that night. Maybe it was guilt of not completing what we started, but I want to feel more of you"

"These past days have been torment to you haven't they?" Carol asked softly.

"To be with you was my goal. I won't lie: I wanted more, but if I had to settle to be in the same room with you, I would accept that limit"

"I never said you had that boundary Julie. You just needed to tell me and I would have been yours."

Juliana fought the urge to run. 'What good would this moment do for either of us?'

Carol stepped closer to her and stood on her tiptoes. "Will I have to start this for you?" she asked Juliana staring in her eyes for a minute.

Juliana's mouth felt dry and then Carol's lips moistened them. The slow brush and her warm breath sought her parted lips. Juliana could not resist any longer.

"I forgive you." Carol whispered. "I've always been yours, I've always wanted to be."

"Thank you Beautiful." Juliana nibbled on Carol's chin.

Part Twelve

The morning light came through the window and stretched across the room. Wrapped in sheets together Juliana and Carol were pressed against each other.

Juliana woke first and watched Carol sleep.

She wondered when she might gather her courage to tell Carol that she wanted her.

Carol stretched before she opened her eyes and turned to see Juliana smiling at her.

"Morning." Juliana said.

"Oh. I dreamed of this for years." Carol smiled and reached up to tease a stray lock of blonde hair from Juliana.

Juliana smiled. "So have I." Juliana captured a kiss from Carol and pressed her forehead.

"So now that it's morning, now what happens?" Carol asked softly with a grin.

"Whatever we want." Carol snuggled against Juliana's shoulder and yawned.

"Maybe another few hours of sleep." Juliana laughed.

"I'm going to get up and take a bath. If you want to join me, I'll be there."

"But you're so warm." Carol pouted.

Juliana only chuckled. She didn't want to be away from Carol either.

Carol's cell phone, however, had other ideas.

Carol stared at it as it buzzed.

"I didn't think we could get a signal out here."

"We live outside society, not from society." Juliana reminded her.

Carol picked up the phone.

"Hi Carol, this is Jack from work. How are things with your mother?"

"She died last week. We just had the memorial service yesterday."

"Oh, I am so sorry. Hey, now that it's over, we really need you back at the office."

"Um, I guess I could leave, but it's really very sudden..."

"That will be great, we'll see you on Monday." And he hung up.

"I have to get back to work by Monday." Carol looked at the phone.

"It's a few days away. We can make arrangements." Juliana hugged her.

"I'm not ready to leave Julie."

"I don't think you want to leave this job yet Carol. Staying here indefinitely has its own implications."

Carol felt tears in her eyes and looked away.

"I can't leave you not now."

Juliana hugged Carol and said nothing, knowing she would make arrangements. She wouldn't be able to make it back just yet, but she would. She'd do it for Carol.

Epilogue Carol returned to her apartment and Mrs. Fitzgerald stared from her windows as she climbed the stairs alone and went into her apartment. She had been home and working for three weeks.

The day she had woken in Juliana's arms had been spent being reassured by both Juliana and Sir Glen that her mother's things were taken care of and mementos would be sent to her. Pictures of her mother, pictures of Carol and her mother and a few things that Lady Sara had wanted to make sure her daughter had.

And then it was a depressing two-day trip home. It had been nearly impossible to want to leave Juliana. But Juliana had closed the door to the transport to take her to the limo that waited for her.

There hadn't been any sign from Juliana that she was hurt or worried for her. And Carol wanted to put the image of staring at Juliana in her black cloak holding her cane in front of the transport as she pulled away out of her mind. But the way the soft breeze came up and pushed her hair behind her and revealed the tiny bruise under her ear that Carol had left.

Carol had been partially embarrassed, but had enjoyed their closeness. And now returning seemed emptier without her. There wasn't anything to look forward to.

Carol's co-workers gave their apologies and condolences, but it wasn't her mother's death that upset her. It was missing Juliana that was more upsetting.

In the brief relaxing moments, she wondered what Juliana was up to wishing there were ways that Carol could talk to Juliana. She even regretted not leaving her cell phone with Juliana. Hearing her voice would have been just the bright spot she needed to get through the work of daily life.

Carol had surprised herself how much she had enjoyed the company of others during that trying time. It was those quiet moments where she didn't have to exchange any thoughts that she missed. Juliana just seemed to know.

To her surprise, inside the apartment was a vase of white and red rosebuds. The card read, "For all the things that will come to pass. Love you."

Carol stumbled through the apartment hoping that Juliana was inside. To her dismay, she was alone. Carol sat on the edge of the bed with disappointment but held onto the card.

There was a knock at the door and Carol trudged to the door. When she opened it, there stood Juliana with two duffel bags.

"I feel bad. I don't know anyone out here than other you. If you want I can stay at a hotel or something, but I thought, since it'd been a while, I'd ask someone who was used to living out here to show me how things were done." She stammered.

Carol threw herself at Juliana in a tight bear hug.

"Of course you can stay."

"Oh good, I was worried you only wanted me because I was able to send the flowers. I missed you Beautiful." She laughed and crossed into Carol's apartment, closing the door just as Mrs. Fitzgerald walked outside to make a very vocal protest.