Thomas Ch. 01

No. I must not wait. Most assuredly must not look.

I glared at him and walked quickly on towards the bows of the ship.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

What had I done that was wrong? Why was my officer, who once was friendly, now was not so friendly. How had I made him with such a change.

I worried about this. I wanted so much to talk with him. I hoped that I could learn sea informations from him - and I hoped for more things. At the least that we might become a little bit friendly. But he would talk only about ship-duties.

And I longed for him. At night I would dream of this officer. That we were friendly, although he was always the officer. That was how I wanted him. I wanted to be his sailor-boy, to do his biding to serve him as he wanted it - even to be his slave. Now I loved him. Wanted him. Needed him. And he became, all the time, more distant.

One day I made a plan. I had seen that very often, after sixteen hours, when the watch was over he would walk to the front of the ship. Quickly I went to my cabin, stripped out of my clothses and into swim-trunks. With me I took a towel and went to a place behind a ventilator where I could not be seen. Then I stripped off my trunks and I lay on my front on the towel. My cock grew so hard under me at the thought that I presented my naked young body for my officer to see. I heard that he was coming. He walked softly but I was listening for him with care. I sensed that he saw me, that he was stopped, that he stared at my body, at my naked bottom.

Did he like what he saw? Was he, as I so much hoped, also gay? If he was gay, did he like me - fancy me, as the other sailors would say?

My cock throbbed so hard as my body pressed it down onto the towel, through which the hot deck I could feel. Now I would take a great risk. I half rolled onto my side. But my officer walked quickly on, making a hard face at me. But I saw something. A thing which gave me hope. He, too, was excited. I could see that the front of his trousers bulged out very far, they were like a tent in front and his penis must be so hard, so throbbing, just like so was mine. The sight of my body presented just for him, had made him excited!

He made a hard face and walked on. I cried a little bit because so much, I wanted him to like me, to love me and to use me as his lover, even as his slave. I so loved my officer. I thought that he might love me - but I was not sure.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I was slightly dreading the watch that night. Here I was caught between my ever growing desire for this handsome, faun-like sailor-boy and the need to preserve the rules and customs of my Company and the sea. That he liked me I was sure. I was also fairly sure that he, too, was gay. Did he love me, as I now loved him? Did he yearn for my touch, long for a caress, crave a kiss - and maybe more - much more?

After the handover, we were left alone on the darkened bridge. As usual, I checked the horizon through the bridge windows, port; ahead; starboard; out onto the bridge wing to check astern. Then back to the radar to familiarise myself with the picture and a thorough check. Thomas stood close to me, near the radar and I caught his eye in the green glare from the screen. He looked so sad, so wistful and I remembered the cold, hard glare I'd given him that afternoon. I shouldn't continue in this way because it was not the young sailor's fault that I was in love with him. I grinned at him. And he trembled, shook like an excited puppy. He grinned back in unconcealed pleasure.

Then he ran off quickly, shortly he was back with coffee, just as I liked it. Hot, white and sweet.

"NATO standard coffee, sir," he said, grinning broadly at me. His eyes begging for recognition.

"Yes," I said, sipping the brew "just as I like it. Well done Thomas."

He wriggled happily.

"Here, look at this. Do you know what a Racon is?", I asked him.

"About the Racon we were instructed at my sea-school," he answered, "but never have I seen one on the sea. Only on the simulator."

"Well, have a look here," I said, and pointed at the 'scope where a Fairway marker buoy was flashing letter "O" across the picture.

"Ach so, it makes the letter then fades out." he said, peering at the picture beside me.

"Yes, the transponder sweeps up and down a band of frequencies and we see it when it corresponds to ours." I informed him.

Our two bodies were now close together as our eyes peered at the radar screen. I noticed his bare arms, covered with fine, downy hairs. I could catch his scent now, as I'd done several times before, I could feel the warmth from his body and every now and then, as I explained more of the radar symbols and information to him, our arms brushed together. The hairs on his arms seemed to make electric sparks tingle on my arm. Oh how strongly I wanted to express my love to this boy and I sensed his desire for me, too. Or could I be wrong? Disastrously wrong?

After a while, we left the radar and I went over to the chart table. He moved across the bridge and again stood close to me.

"Tell me then, young Thomas, where are your family from?" I asked him. We'd obviously spoken during our tours of duty so far, but usually just the necessary orders and reports required between the duty watchkeeper and his assistant.

"I am from Bremerhaven," he said, "my family live there and I was in school there, afterwards at the sea-school. But there is bad employment in North Germany, something we Germans are not used to. It was impossible for me to get a job after sea-school."

"So you were lucky enough to get a job with this Company?" I said.

"Yes sir, I was indeed very lucky, and I am lucky to have a job now on the bridge - with you." He said, looking sideways at me.

"And do you have brothers and sisters at home," I enquired.

"Two brothers I have but no sister and my Father was killed in an accident at sea. He was a fishing boat captain. This is a very hard life."

"Sure," I replied, "and so you always wanted to go to sea, to follow your Dad."

"Yes, I miss my Papa very much. I admired him, he was a strong man. I miss him, all of the family miss him."

I couldn't help myself . . . .

"And I bet you have a beautiful young German girl waiting for you in Bremerhaven. Is she blond, like you? Do you have a picture of her?"

He blushed again, his fresh young face a deep red and he shuffled his feet at the table beside me.

"No, at the moment, I a girlfriend have not." he muttered. "And you, you do not wear wedding ring."

"Nope. Not married yet. I suppose you could say that I'm married to the job - to the sea."

He pondered that information but it seemed that neither of us wanted to take matters any further just at that time. He paused and then asked me,

"And you, sir, where are you living?"

"Oh, I have a flat, an apartment that is, in London. I only bought it quite recently. It's great, in a new part of London called Docklands, it's right by the river Thames, what's more its got a great lot of facilities, swimming pool, sauna, gym. It's really great."

"Ach so, you have a swimming pool in your apartment?" Thomas gasped in wonder.

"No, not in my apartment. It's on the ground floor, all the flats share it. But it's really great. 24 metres long and very well maintained."

"Oh, you are so lucky. I love to swim. It is such a good exercise and makes you feel so strong."

This did not surprise me, Thomas had a great swimmer's body and I quietly bet to myself he'd look fantastic in just a pair of bikini briefs. Those long legs, that narrow waist, that pert bum and I was pretty sure there'd be an exciting packet in front, in the desirable crotch at the top of the well muscled thighs.

"Yes, I like so much to swim," he sighed to himself.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

On the last watch, my officer was so nice to me. We had good conversations. I think maybe he was sorry that he had not spoken so much with me during the last watches, certainly he did not have the cross face which he had showed in the afternoon when he had seen me bathing in the sun..

I very much liked it that he showed me the radar and he explained many things with me. It was exciting for me to stand so close to him as we both looked at the radar. Our arms brushed together and it made me to feel excited. By the radar he was standing near to me and I was smelling his body, it was clean smell, well washed with nice smelling soap and also some after-shave which smelt to me so manly, so sexy. Also there was a strong man smell underneath the other things that came to my nose. I very much liked this, when he stood very close to me. It made me to feel very safe and secure. One or two times our arms brushed together, sometimes I managed that our legs should touch also and once by an on purpose accident my hand pressed onto his bottom, it was so warm, so firm. It was so very sexy for me.

I left the bridge after the watch very happy. We had a good conversation. In the night time I had a dream about my officer. That he became like a Papa to me but in a sexy way, when I woke up I had cum a lot in my underwear and had to hide it from my cabin mates. But I was happy.

In my cabin when I was in my bed, I kept thinking about how I felt my officer's bottom. His bum, the British called it. Butt, say the Americans.

He is so strong my officer, and I think really he is very kind but he always is keeping a little bit remote from me. I have noticed that many British people do this.

Then we had a good conversation about my home. I was very happy to know that he is not married. Still now I hope that my secretest thoughts and hopes may be correct.

I know that my officer is called Andy and he is very popular with the other officers. All the sailors like him, too, because he is fair and friendly. But me, I love him. I need him so badly. I must be careful now, on the watch, on the bridge alone and in the dark. Slow and careful I must be.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Our passage across the Bay of Biscay went quite quickly and virtually without incident. The weather got less pleasant as we ploughed our way North but my four-hour stints on the Bridge were something to look forward to, there now was Thomas to share the time with.

There was one incident and that was when we started a watch and Thomas appeared with a black eye, marring his handsome young face.

"Hey Thomas, what happened to you then?" I asked him.

He looked worried and upset and my heart went out to him.

"A door shut suddenly and my face was hit," he muttered.

"Oh yes. Pull the other one. It's always a door, or a wall or a trip down the stairs," I laughed.

"Pull the other one? What means this?", he asked looking puzzled.

"I mean what really happened?" I enquired.

"It is a door," he maintained, "which is hitting on my face. It is not so important. Please to explain the rules for fog signals."

"No Thomas. What really happened?"

He looked worried and embarrassed but said:

"It is the sailor who is sharing my cabin," he mumbled, "he is a big pig and I am not liking him."

"Did he hit you?"

"Yes he hit me, but first I hit him." Thomas offered.

"You hit him?" I queried, thinking to myself that this was highly unlike the gentle young man that had worked with me for so many watches. "But why did you hit him? Did he provoke you?"

"Please?"

"Provoke you. Do something to make you upset, angry?"

Thomas looked even more worried - and embarrassed.

"It is not important." he mumbled.

"Yes it is important Thomas. I happen to like you and I don't believe this was your fault. Tell me what happened." And I looked directly at him, waiting. It was virtually an order.

"It is Wayne. In my cabin. I do not like him, he is like a pig." Thomas blushed, looking oh so vulnerable in his embarrassment, "but I think that he wants me."

"Wants you?" I queried, pretending not to understand but pretty sure I knew exactly what this very sexy sailor-boy meant. This Wayne had good taste, I thought to myself, he was not the only one who wanted Thomas, I wanted him very badly myself.

"Oh I do not think you will understand," he replied, "our cabin is so very small and Wayne is dirty, like I am saying, like a pig. He does not wash so much and his clotheses are dirty. He smells not so nice."

I could imagine very well the smell in that cabin. Two young sailors sharing a small cabin, a smell of hot young male bodies, Wayne's unwashed socks and underwear, dirty jeans. My cock swelled in my own underpants at the thought of the strong male smells that permeated that cabin. And I'd noticed the sailor Wayne. He did indeed look like an animal, a young guy but heavily built, long blond hair, often tied back in a pony-tail, a big heavily muscled body and handsome features. Some gay queens would fancy him rotten but for me - definitely not my type. He radiated an animal sexuality, the kind of young brute that would fuck anything on two legs, and fuck it hard and brutally, enjoying having his penis thrusting furiously into whatever hot, tight hole might be willing to absorb his animal lust.

"Since I moved into this cabin Wayne has been not pleasant. He calls me "Nancy-boy and Queenie". Always he laughs at me. But really I think that he likes men."

"What makes you think that he likes men?" I had to ask the question.

"When I undress for shower, he watches me," said Thomas, "he pretends to be reading and not to be looking but I know that he watches me. And once when I returned from shower, I came into the cabin and he had my dirty jeans."

"Do you mean he was looking through your pockets," I enquired.

"No I do not think so. He had his face into my jeans. He seemed to be smelling into them."

Thomas's face reddened once again. And my prick gave a jump, Wayne's nose would've been exactly where my nose had longed to explore for several days now but I could never, never admit that.

"This time when I came into our cabin, after the last watch, Wayne said that you are Faggot, that I am your bum-boy. Then he made a grope at my . . . at this place," and Thomas pointed to his crotch with embarrassment.

Our progress towards England continued as the ship ploughed her way Northwards. I still lusted after Thomas's very sexy young body but as the time passed, I began to also appreciate his active and intelligent young mind. He had a bright, alert brain and, highly important, and perhaps unusual for a German, a quick and highly developed sense of humour. He was very eager to learn and followed all my work at the radar and on the chart table.

He was also very attentive, sometimes almost embarrassingly so. He attended to all my needs, usually without any prompting. He knew exactly when I wanted a mug of coffee, he kept the Bridge as clean as I'd ever seen it kept, there was always a sharp pencil in the rack. He would arrive on watch with small presents for me such as a special cake from the crew's galley. A tee-shirt bought before we'd sailed. He wanted to give me a pair of Speedo swimming trunks, which he'd wrapped beautifully in expensive looking paper.

"No, Thomas, they are much too good, they must have cost you a lot of money. I cannot possibly accept them."

He looked sad and hurt and moved away from me and I realised that I'd upset him. But really, I was sure that he didn't earn very much money and to accept would, I felt, have been wrong. To try to break the embarrassment I asked him:

"Are you going back to Germany when we dock in London?"

"No sir," he replied. "I then have some leave but I spend it in London. This is a city, so exciting. I would like to know it better, I very much wish that I had someone to show me this London I do not wish to be like a tourist but to know the good places and the interesting places to visit. And what do you do when the ship is docking. Do you stay for the next voyage?" he asked me.

Nope," I replied, "I've got leave due as well. I'm going to spend it at my new flat. I want to get some painting done and finish off fixing the place up."

He looked at me. There was a look of longing in his eyes. A yearning, pleading look which made my heart jump. We'd both be in London on holiday and he wanted company. I wanted him so badly. Did he have the same feelings for me? I was just about certain that he did.

"I do not think that you have a wife," Thomas said, "but with your girl-friend you are living? She helps you with the decoration?"

"No Thomas, I live on my own. I only just moved in before we sailed on this voyage, so there's a lot to do to get the place looking good."

That look again. It was too much for me. I asked him:

"If you're going to be in London, where will you stay?"

"I do not know," he answered, "maybe in a cheap hotel; but I do not like that so much, they are sometimes dirty and in London I have heard that hotel rooms cost much money."

"Well, if you would like to, you could stay with me, maybe help me a bit with the decoration and I could show you some of the sights." I said, thinking of some of the sights I'd like to see.

Thomas grinned from ear to ear, his eyes sparkled,

"Oh that would be so good" he said. "Is it possible that I could do this?"

"Yep," I said, "it's a very small flat and it needs lots of work done on it but at least it won't cost you anything."

"Oh, Sir, it would be so good to stay with you and to help you, I like it so much. We could do many things together, I almost cannot wait until we are getting to London."

Thomas's eyes sparkled and he squirmed with excitement like a happy puppy.

"I don't think you should tell anyone about this idea," I warned him. "Don't say a word to Wayne or to anyone on board, OK?"

"Of course I am not saying anything to anyone, this shall be our secret." he replied, suddenly looking very serious.