Thorne Ch. 11

"Even your child?" Samantha asked not sure of what she was hoping for.

"Out of everything that's happened since I met my supposed mate, the conception of that child is the one thing that I don't regret. That I will never have another mate is inconsequential. As you know; I never wanted a mate to begin with."

Samantha heard no lie as she listened to Thorne's reply to her question. She had to admit that while Thorne was many things, he wasn't a liar. If he didn't want the child, he would have seen to its care and that would have been the end of it, but here he was; confronting her because of him.

"I would still like to meet the mother of your child," Samantha said.

Thorne started to make a snide comment, but caught himself. It would be counterproductive and it was time to start changing old behaviors. With his son in mind, he tempered the tone of his voice and his comment.

"I'll talk to her about it. But you didn't answer my question- do you want to be a part of my child's life?"

"If I say no?" Samantha challenged.

Thorne shrugged his broad shoulders in response. Samantha inexplicably felt hurt. What had she expected him to say? He had just told her that he was there only because of his son. Did she really think that he would try to convince her that she needed and should be a part of the child's life? She realized that to some degree that she had been expecting just that.

"Mother, what you decide to do is up to you," Thorne said. "It's no skin off my back if you decide not to be involved, but if and when he asks why he doesn't know you; I'll tell him the truth."

Samantha looked away undecided. She couldn't very well ask to meet the child's mother and then not at least see the child. But-did she want to get to know the child? She didn't know.

"May I have time to think about it?" she finally asked.

"You may," Thorne replied.

"Thank you- Thorne, I'm sorry that you saw the things that you did. You're right- they were things that no child should see. I will also concede that I was far from the ideal mother and mate. Like you, I am beginning to have a few regrets. I won't apologize- as you say it's too little and far too late for that. I'm also not going to tell you that I'm going to change who I am just because of a grandchild."

"I'm not asking you to change anything," Thorne replied as he stood to leave. "Think about your involvement and let me know."

"Thorne- wait- what about Noel? Is he really alright?"

Thorne realized that Noel hadn't told their mother that he was leaving and wondered why.

"He's fine," Thorne replied. "Still fucked up, but he's much better." He wanted to add 'no thanks to you', but didn't. It came to him that for a while at least; he was going to have to consciously monitor his responses. "Damn," he thought, "this is harder than I thought it would be."

"Tell him-never mind," Samantha said rethinking what she was going to say. "I'm glad that our family and the Sinclaires are getting along again." She said changing the subject. "Together we were formidable."

Thorne sat down again. He hadn't planned on bringing the topic of their families up, but since Samantha mentioned it...

"Tell me about that night again," he said. "Something about it doesn't feel right."

Samantha went through the story again and agreed with Thorne.

"Something doesn't add up and I don't understand why Noel doesn't remember being there."

"He's tried to remember the fight, but whenever he thinks about it or the Sinclaires; he gets terrible headaches," Thorne replied. "The interesting thing is that all of us were in the same house while this hunter thing was going on and he didn't have a headache. I asked him about it and he said that he finally came to the conclusion that he wasn't ready to remember."

"Do you think that the Sinclaires betrayed us?" Samantha asked.

"Honestly? No," Thorne replied. "After working with Ethan, I just don't see it. I also have to admit that it felt good to work with him, but even if it hadn't; our families are forever connected because of the child. Do you think that they betrayed us?"

"No," Samantha replied after a moment. "Someone did, but it wasn't them. Steven Sinclaire and your father were too good of friends and allies for that. I still remember the day that your father came home so excited because he and Steven had talked. He was amazed that a family as influential and as powerful as the Sinclaires would want to ally themselves with us. Why do you think that Noel can't remember being at the fight?"

Thorne took a moment to think about his response.

"Maybe it's because he had been through enough of an emotional and physical beating. Maybe it was his mind trying to protect him and maybe it's because he knows who the betrayer is. He remembers being with you because that's what he wants to remember. He didn't want to go to that fight, father forced him to go. But at any rate- the Sinclaires and Blackwell families are once again united. Do you understand what that means?"

"Our homes are their homes and vice versa and we will always defend each other," Samantha replied. "Have you and Ethan decided on an official reunion date?"

"No," Thorne replied. "We haven't even talked about that night yet. We've been too busy with the aftermath of the hunter situation."

"I have a request to make," Samantha said after a brief hesitation.

"I'm listening," Thorne replied.

"I know that we are at odds as mother and son, but I am still a Blackwell and would like to do my part in this alliance. I would like to attend the reunion dinner."

The request surprised Thorne. But then again it didn't. The one thing that he could say about his mother was that she took the alliance between the families seriously and did whatever she could to keep it intact with the exception of being faithful.

"I'll let you know," he replied as he once again stood to leave.

"Thank you," Samantha said with a nod of her head.

Thorne vanished from Samantha's to the club. He wanted to do some more thinking.

*****

Barb hung up from talking to the realtor. She liked the condo, but she didn't like the price which she knew had been jacked up. Her mistake she realized was listing that she was a first time buyer. The thing was that of all the condos she had looked at online, this was the one that she really liked and wanted. She decided to call the realtor back later and tell her that she knew that the price had been raised and to make a counter offer.

She looked at the phone again. The need to hear a friendly voice persisted. In fact, it seemed stronger. She again went through her list of supposed friends and again realized that there was no one that she really wanted to talk to. Her concern was that one of them would show up on her doorstep just as she had done with Kevyn or that they would start asking her for money. There was one 'friend' in particular that she wanted to avoid-Janelle Clemens whose main claim to fame was that she was a direct descendent of the famous writer Samuel Clemens. She and Janelle had made an agreement that dated back to high school.

"If one of us is lucky enough to find a rich man or win the lottery, we share the money," Janelle said.

For good measure, she wrote the agreement out, signed it and then had Barb sign it. As time passed, Barb had forgotten about what she considered a childhood promise. It came back to bite her on the ass several years later when Janelle mentioned it during one of their weekly dinners out.

"I still have that piece of paper," she said.

"What paper?" Barb asked.

"You know the one," Janelle replied a miffed that Barb had forgotten. "The one that we signed saying that if one of us gets rich that we wouldn't forget the other."

Barb remembered being stunned. As she thought about it, she wondered if the paper would hold up in a court of law. It was something that she needed to look into. While she was at it, she wanted the papers that Thorne had drawn up looked at as well. The problem was that she didn't know any lawyers except for one- Joseph Richardson. She thought of what little she knew about him and thought that he would be honest with her. After thinking about it, she decided to give him a call.

A few minutes later, she was talking to him surprised that he answered his own phone.

"Hi Barb, what can I do for you?" Joseph asked in a businesslike manner.

"Ummm," Barb stumbled. She had expected a warmer greeting than what she had gotten. "Two things actually."

She told him about the agreement with Janelle.

"You say you were in high school when you did this? What grade were you in?"

"Seniors," Barb replied.

"Well.... It could go either way," Joseph replied. "Do you have a copy of that agreement?"

"No," Barb replied kicking herself for not taking the offered copy.

"All I can say is that if your friend decided to hold you to that agreement, she might have a case. The thing in your favor is that you were both young. Hope that she doesn't pursue it. What was the other thing?"

"I have some papers that I need looked at," Barb explained. "I want to make sure that there aren't any hidden loopholes- can I send them to you?"

"Do you have a fax machine there?" Joseph asked.

Barb got Joseph's fax machine number and faxed the papers while they were on the phone.

"Got it... is there a number where I can call you back?" Joseph asked. "Your number shows as private."

Barb gave him the number, hung up and debated as to what to do next. She called the real-estate agent and confronted her on the price of the condo. She was about to give the woman the 'do you know who I am?' speech and stopped herself. She was remembering that the name dropping was part of what led her to Thorne. After arguing with the woman for thirty minutes, the price was dropped to a number that Barb was happy with.

"I'll call you tomorrow," she told the disgruntled woman and hung up.

She played on the internet for several minutes before she decided to call Gene. In spite of his changes, he was still the one who would understand what she was going through better than any of the others. She checked the clock and did a mental calculation of the time. It was almost midnight on the east coast but it was the weekend.

She wondered if he would be home although she didn't know where he would be if he quit drinking. She dialed his number and was about to hang up when Gene's groggy voice came over the phone.

"Gene? It's me Barb- did I wake you?"

"Oh hey... it's alright; I hadn't been to sleep long. Is everything okay?"

"Yes... no... I don't know- why are you in bed so early? You always stay up late on the weekends."

"I used to but since I'm not drinking there isn't that much to do," Gene explained, "so what's up?"

"I... nothing"

"Come on sis," Gene coaxed, "you didn't call me at midnight for nothing so talk to me."

Now that she had him on the phone, she didn't know where to start.

"I just wanted to hear a friendly voice," she replied.

"Still having a rough time?" Gene asked.

Barb sighed in response.

"Have you talked to the others yet?" Gene asked.

"No- are you still thinking about moving to Florida?" Barb asked changing the subject.

"I was, but I don't think I will," Gene replied. "Dana and I are still talking, but I think if I moved to the same state she might feel pressured."

"I can see your point, where are living? Are you still at Leon's?"

"No... I moved into the house as soon as it was finished- mom would have loved it. I hope that you and the others will come to see it. But back to the moving thing, I'm seriously thinking about moving out your way."

"Why?" Barb asked surprised. She was under the impression that Gene hated California.

"What do you mean why?" Gene asked surprised at the question. "All of you are out there aren't you?"

"Well yes but what about your job? And where will you live?" She asked fully aware that Gene didn't know about the Sinclaires or the vampirism.

"Kevyn told me that she still has that little place that you were using," Gene replied. "As far as a job goes, Patrick is going to help me out there."

Barb felt a surge of anger that she quickly squashed, but the jealousy showed.

"How nice for you," she said trying to keep her tone light. "When is this move supposed to happen?"

"I haven't decided yet," Gene replied. "You sound like you don't want me to come."

"It isn't that," Barb said. "It's just that- why is it that everyone seems to be getting breaks except for me? Think about it- Kevyn moves out here, gets married and then divorced. She goes back to school and who does she meet? Her professor who happens to be a member of the wealthiest families in the world. Then Louise, she moves out her and within weeks what happens? She meets a member of the same family and marries him. Then you all come out here and Leon gets a job offer and marries someone who wasn't as she appeared! The same thing with Juliette- she marries someone who I thought was nothing but a hotel manager and he isn't! Now there's you!"

"Green never was a good color on you," Gene said softly. "Have you ever considered the possibility that things came to them because they weren't looking for them? Let's start with Kevyn- she moved to California without a job and took care of some elderly woman for room and board. Lonnie or whatever the hell is name was her worst mistake. She took a job at a nursing home and started classes for nursing school. She wasn't looking for Patrick when they found each other.

Louise- Louise in my opinion is the one who deserves every good thing that comes her way. She took care of mom without any help from me, you and Juliette and she never complained. She probably knew that it wouldn't so any good. I should have been the one organizing mom's care so that Louise could have some semblance of a life; but I didn't. She also went to California not looking for anyone. Leon helped Louise and yes he fucked up with the drugs, but Barb; he came clean. He swallowed his pride and tried to make things right. But not only that, he worked his ass off at the steel mill. He worked for everything that he has. Juliette? I don't know what to tell you except that she loves her kids and she worked hard to provide for them. But once again, she didn't go to California with the idea of finding someone. When she met Hans, she though the same thing that you did."

"You were as bad as I was," Barb snipped.

"Yes I was- I was actually worse in a lot of ways and I freely admit that," Gene replied. "There are nights when I think about the things that I did and I can't believe that it was me. I have no excuse except to say that I was greedy, insecure and a drunk. As a result I almost lost everything, but I'm confused about something; don't you have what you wanted?"

Barb didn't know how to answer the question so she avoided it.

"When will you decide?"

"Soon, I'll be fully vested in a few weeks so if I decide to come, it will be after that. This place- Pittsburgh I mean has bad memories for me and I'm not talking about mom and dad, well; maybe in a way I am. The one thing that they always wanted for us to remember that family means everything and to be honest with you, I miss you guys. Part of the reason that I came back here was because I was ashamed. I thought that I hated California, but I don't. I used to see it as the place that completed my downfall, but it isn't. It was the place where I started my life over again."

"What about Dana?" Barb asked.

"I'll leave Pittsburgh either way. If Dana and I don't reconcile then so be it. Maybe I'll have a chance with someone else. Barb, I can only understand so much of what you're going through. I'm here to offer you whatever support that you need- in fact if you want me to come sooner than in a few weeks; I'll do it. If you want me to be with you when you decide to talk to people; I will. That's what Leon did for me and I can't tell you how much that helped. If you want to practice what to say with me, that's fine too. I'm here in whatever capacity you need me to be."

The offer almost surprised her and unexpectedly touched her. She chalked it up to pregnancy hormones and continued the conversation.

"Gene, was I wrong? I mean was I wrong to want the things I wanted?"

"Sis," Gene said after a long pause, "it sounds like you're looking for validation for your actions and I can't do that. Wrong is wrong. It's not the wanting things that's the problem- it's what you do to get there. Believe me-I'm not judging- I'm in no position to do that, but one of the things that I did and still do is to look back at my past."

"What good does that do?" Barb asked. "Why can't I just say that I'm sorry and be done with it?"

"No apology is better than one that isn't meant," Gene replied quietly.

"What do you mean by that?" Barb snapped irritably.

"I mean exactly what I said," Gene replied. "You want to take the easy way- you think that if you say I'm sorry that everything will be forgotten. That's kid shit- if you don't mean it than don't do it. Everyone will see through it- think about the times you've tried that in the past. Did it work?"

When Barb didn't reply, he continued.

"It doesn't work, I know from firsthand experience and so do you. Whether you decide to change or not is up to you- only you know what if anything needs to change, but Barb- you need to fix things with the others."

"Have they said something to you?" Barb asked ready to be angry if they had.

"Not a peep," Gene replied. "We talk about other things, but you've never come up unless I ask and then I get some vague response. I'm getting my information from you."

Barb hadn't realized that she was being so transparent with her phone call.

"So how is the pregnancy going?" Gene asked.

"It's going," Barb replied. "I guess I might as well tell you that I'm leaving after he's born. I can't and won't stay here."

"What about the baby?"

"He's staying with Thorne- he'll have plenty of help."

"Are you sure about this?" Gene asked.

"I'm sure," Barb replied. "As soon as he's born I'm moving to Hawaii. I just bought a two bedroom condo there. I know that I sound cold hearted, but Gene; I never wanted this baby. Isn't it better that I step back instead of pretending that I want and love him? I'm doing what's best for both of us."

"How does Thorne-that's his name isn't it? How does he feel about this?"

"He's glad to see me go," Barb confessed. "He doesn't care about me in the way that a man is supposed to care about his woman and to be honest; I don't care about him like that either. This baby is the only thing keeping us together -if you even want to call it that. And don't start with the once you see the baby crap- it won't work."

"I wasn't going to say anything like that," Gene replied. "What I was going to say is this- whatever it is you decide to do, make sure that you're at peace with it. Some decisions are irrevocable and the outcomes can't be changed no matter how much we may want them to be. Make sure that you're not acting on pure emotion and really think about what you're doing. Are you positive that you and the baby's father can't work things out?"

"I'm sure," Barb replied, "And I don't want to try to work things out with him. It's enough that I'm not giving up my parental rights."

"I see," Gene mused, "the old hedging your bets- so what is it that you need from me?"

"A friendly voice I guess and-some advice from someone who's been there. How did Kevyn react to your confession?"

"Saying that she was upset is an understatement. Furious is a better word for it and then she was sad and disappointed. I'll be honest with you, I preferred the anger. You have to decide what it is you're sorry for and if you feel the need to apologize- do it. No one is expecting you to grovel at their feet, but they do expect an honest apology and a promise that you'll start acting like what you are and that's family. Let me ask you something, do you miss us at all?"