Those Autofellatio Blues Ch. 12

I said, "Maybe Bridget should try college, major in theater, get a good background in the classics..."

He shook his head. "Why waste her time doing college theater when she can be starring in movies? Or making records. I think she wants to do the whole Jennifer Lopez arc-movies, albums, clothes, maybe "

It was at this point that I first started to think that Edward Landau, though a very successful attorney and a near demi-god, might have a less-than-firm grip on reality. Bridget wasn't just bad-she was intergalactically awful. Compared to Bridget, Jennifer Lopez was Meryl Streep, Kiri Te Kanawa and Coco Chanel wrapped up into one overhyped package. But who was I to break the bad news? "I see what you mean," I said mildly, "I just thought, um, it's never a bad idea to get an education, something to fall back on."

He leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers behind his head. He said, "A handsome young man and a level-headed one as well." He smiled, and this time I did giggle. Well, I didn't giggle, but I uttered a sort of airy chuckle. A chuckle that died on my lips when he said, "I can understand why my wife enjoys fucking you so much."

The chuckle became a gurgle. His indulgent smile remained unchanged as I squirmed in my seat. He said, "Don't be alarmed. My wife has told me all about her encounters with you. I understand that she took your virginity. Did you enjoy it, did you have fun fucking my wife??"

I had to grab onto the arms of the chair because the room was spinning so fast. "Um," I said. "Um." That was the best I could manage.

"I wish I could have seen that," he said with sudden intensity, " seen my wife squat over you, and seen the look on your face as her pussy slid down your virgin cock..." His eyes took on a faraway cast, and it was a good five seconds before he shook his head and returned from whatever fantasyland he'd just visitied. "From what Julia has told me, it's not your boyish good looks that makes fucking you such a treat." His eyes flicked to my groin and back up again. "May I see it?" he asked.

The question completely flummoxed me. "See what?" I said.

"Your penis," he said, leaning forward. "I understand you're unusually gifted."

Perhaps, in your experience, you've had the father of a girl you're crazy about ask to see your dick. I rather doubt it. I've never read a book or seen a movie or even heard a dirty story about a father asking to see the cock of his daughter's prom date. So I didn't have a frame of reference to work from. I swallowed hard and I said, "You want to see my penis?"

"Yes. It doesn't have to be hard, of course. I can hardly expect you to have an erection at the moment, but still, it would satisfy my curiosity. And," he said with a wry smile, "I'm very, very curious."

He was very pleasant about it, very friendly, not at all predatory or jealous. That didn't make it any easier to meet his eyes. "I'm not sure how to put this. I don't want to be rude, but let me explain why there is no goddam way I'm showing you my penis. First of all, I..."

He interrupted me. "I'm not gay, if that's your concern. I just want to see it."

"I'm flattered, really. It's nice of you to ask. But, again, there is no way in hell."

"Please."

"No."

He laced the fingers of his hands together, pretending to beg. "Pretty please?"

It was hard to look at him, his eyes bored into mine and I found it difficult to deny him his request. "No. Look, Mr. Landau, I..."

He held up a hand. "Please, please, call me Teddy."

That's what did it. He liked me enough to let me call him Teddy, and such was the force of his presence that I didn't have the strength to resist him. I wanted to please him, I wanted him to think I was a nice guy and good enough for his daughter. So I found myself standing and I said, "OK, uh, Teddy. If you really want to see, uh, it."

He grinned from ear to ear. "Oh, I do."

I had to turn away as I shucked my shorts and boxers and put them on the sofa, I didn't want his eyes on me as I stripped. I turned around, and was relieved to find that he was still sitting at his desk, his hands on the armrests of his chair, watching me with considerable, but clinicial, interest. He looked at my equipment and nodded.

"Whoa," he said.

"Can I get dressed?" I asked.

"Not just yet, please." He slid his chair under the desk and took a closer look. "Whoa," he said again. "That is a very large penis."

"Thanks," I said, because, well, what else could I say?

"I mean, you have a big, big dick."

"So I've been told."

"Even bigger than your father's. And, as I recall, your father was big."

I prayed that the floor would crack open and the abyss swallow me whole. "That fact has been remarked upon."

"I'm sure it has." He leaned a bit closer. "Wow. I mean, I'm pretty big myself, but you dwarf me."

"No, I'm sure I don't."

His eyebrows rose. "Would you like to see my cock? To compare?"

"No, thank you."

"Fine, fine," he said, sitting back, and I was relieved that he seemed about to change the subject. Until I learned what subject he was switching to. "Now, you've also had sex with my daughter, is that correct?"

Oh, Jesus. "Yes, but you have to understand, it wasn't my idea, I..."

He laughed and nodded. "Yes, yes, my wife told me about how she encouraged you to deflower my daughter. I don't hold that against you. If Julia wanted you to have intercourse with Bridget, under her supervision, then I of course support that decision."

Of course. But then his expression turned serious. "I do have one concern, however. Bridget is still inexperienced, and I'm worried that, if you have sex with her again, you might hurt her with your organ."

You don't often see fathers showing this level of concern in their daughter's well-being, and that's probably a good thing. "I don't think Bridget and I are going to have sex again," I said, hoping to reassure him.

He laughed. "I'm afraid that might not be your decision. Bridget is just like her mother, she has a very forceful personality. I'm not especially optimistic that you could resist her if she made demands on you."

I was about to say that I'd been resisting her just fine so far, but before I could speak he said, "And that's why I would like to see how large you are when you're erect. Will you indulge me, Daniel?"

I tasted puke in my mouth. "Indulge you, how?" I squeaked.

"Both my wife and my daughter have told me about a very unusual skill you have, that because of your incredible size you're able to...pleasure yourself orally." His blue eyes locked on mine, and it was like a cobra hypnotizing a mouse. "Daniel, I want to watch while you suck your cock. I'll just sit here and watch, I promise. But if you want to go to the prom with Bridget, I'm afraid I have to insist that you demonstrate. I get a tremendous amount of pleasure watching people have sex, I mean, I absolutely adore it, and ever since Julia told me about your abilities I've wanted to watch you enjoy yourself."

His face took on a resolute cast. "I ask that you indulge me. If you decline, I'm afraid I'll have to forbid her from going to the prom with you. I don't want to do it, I think you're an exemplary young man and I have no qualms about her dating you, but Bridget still respects my authority enough to do as I say. I hate to resort to such measures, but that should give you an idea of how badly I want to watch you suck yourself off."

I looked at my cock and sighed. "Mr. Landau..."

"Teddy."

"Teddy. Teddy, you are a very strange man. I've met some really strange people lately, but you're definitely near the top of the list."

He actually laughed out loud. "I'm stranger than a boy who can suck his own cock?"

I had to nod at the sense of this. "Touché."

He pushed his chair forward a few inches and leaned back. "I'm waiting. Anxiously."

I looked at my cursed cock and sighed. What else could I do? I found that I wanted to please this handsome man, who possessed such charisma that with a grin and a wink he could convince a jury to send an innocent man to the gallows. I also didn't want him deciding that I wasn't good enough for his little girl. And, truth be told, I heard a familiar voice echoing in my head, the voice I'd the other morning, chanting "Suck me...suck me...suck me..." My penis twitched as it slowly rose between my legs. In some very twisted way, I wanted to show off for Bridget's dad, as though a talent for autofellatio was a quality fathers looked for in their daughter's beaus, like regular churchgoing and a paper route.

"I need to lie down and tuck my legs under something," I said, but Teddy was a step ahead of me. He extended a hand at the sofa against the wall. "Will that do?" he asked. I nodded and he said, "Bridget and Julia told me you need to twist yourself into knots, so I set things up for you." The sofa was up against the wall, next to the bookshelf Bridget and Teddy had looked at so meaningfully. It looked like it had just enough clearance for me to use. Time to do my trick, like a well-hung dancing bear.

I lay down and, as I got into position, I heard a faint, "Zzzzzzip!" I looked up and saw Mr. Landau leaning back in his chair. At first I thought that he was pulling down his pants so he could masturbate while watching me, which would have given me serious second thoughts about doing this, but then I caught a glimpse of two high-heels protruding from under the desk. It didn't take much for me to figure out that there was a woman under his desk, and that the woman was undoubtedly Julia. Before I could speak Mr. Landau put a finger to his lips and shook his head. "Pretend she's not here," he mouthed. Well, Elaine said he was a voyeur, so maybe this made sense.

Thinking of Elaine gave me an idea, and idea that would, in some small way, let me take back the initiative I'd so meekly handed away. "Teddy, we're friends, right?"

"I'd like to think we're well on the way."

"I hope so too. I'll satisfy your curiosity, but only if you do me a special favor."

He paused. "If I can, of course."

"You know Elaine Robinson. She's friends with your wife."

He smiled. "Yes, I know Elaine well. I haven't seen as much of her lately as I used to, unfortunately."

"Well, I'd like you to see all of her. I'll perform for you, but only if you agree to have sex with Elaine."

I wondered what Julia's reaction would be, but all I could see where I was sitting were the high-heels twist a bit. Teddy thought about it a bit and then he said, "Well, how do you know she would be interested in...doing that with me?"

"I'm sure she'd be interested. And I'm sure you're wife wouldn't mind, not after all the times she's fucked me."

He smiled, just a little, and I imagined Julia crushing his testicles in her long-nailed fingers. But after a second his smile blossomed forth and he said, "All right, I'll agree to your terms." I relaxed a bit, glad that in some small way I'd made up for the transgression of the day before, but before I could pat myself on the back he said, "I agree, on one condition."

Jesus Christ, all I want is to take his daughter to a goddam dance and now I'm negotiating like it's the fucking Paris peace talks. "Which is?" I asked.

"I want you to watch us. You, and my wife. I can't very well have sex with another woman behind my wife's back, and I would enjoy myself even more knowing that we had an audience." His face flushed slightly with excitement, the mere thought of performing in front of us had him almost giddy, and I nodded my agreement. "Do you want to draw up a contract for me to sign?" I asked wearily.

He laughed again. "You're an interesting young man," he said. "I hope we get to know each other better. But for now, if you would..." his eyes moved to the couch.

Nothing else to do but do it. I lay down, jackknifed my legs over my head, tucked my feet under the sofa, and there he was, my pride and joy, throbbing, dribbling pre-come, waiting for that first wet caress of my tongue.

"UHHH!" I groaned as I licked my glans. It felt so good I groaned again as the tip of my tongue found the slit at the apex of my cock and burrowed inside. I opened wide and the huge helmet slipped between my lips. My lips and tongue went to work on my cock, and I reached between my legs to play with my heavy testicles.

"Oh my God," Teddy said, with delight, not disgust. "That's amazing."

"Hmmmf," I groaned. I bobbed my head up and down, taking the first third of my length into my mouth. Over the sound of my own slurping I could hear the wet sounds of another cock being orally pleasured, and I wondered if Mr. Landau was directing his comments to me, or to the woman under his desk. I heard him gasp lightly and he said, "Oh, you like sucking cock, don't you?" When I didn't answer he said again, "Don't you?" and I decided to play along. "Mm-hmm!"

"Use your tongue, let me see your tongue all over the head...ahh, that's it!" I decided to play along with what he said. He was probably talking to me and Julia, watching my perform the act and feeling Julia duplicate it on his own dick. I think, by watching me and having his dick sucked at the same time, he was imagining that HE was the one sucking his own cock. He wasn't lusting after me, or at watching a big-dicked teenager suck himself off, he was imagining himself in my place, lying on the floor, his huge phallus sliding in and out of his slaving mouth, polishing the spongy head with his tongue. That's my thirty-second diagnosis of the situation, and if you've got a better one, keep it to yourself. At least this way I could stay sane.

I obeyed his every command, letting my shiny cockhead slip out of mouth and then swirling my tongue all over it when he said, "Uhh, use your tongue, let me see you get it wet...ahhh, yeah. Oh, that's it, play with your balls, that feels nice, doesn't it, mmm, doesn't it?"

Hearing a male voice say these things made it a bit hard to stay hard, and to keep me going I found myself thinking about Bridget, about what it would feel like to have Bridget kneeling between my legs, kissing and licking my penis, her eyes gazing up at me...

"God, you're HUGE," he said as I reached full erection. "I can't believe how big you are. No wonder Julia can't stop talking about it." I looked around my huge shank and saw Teddy staring back, mouth open, his eyes glittering. "I want you to come. I want to see that big cock spurt all over the place. I...uh...oh yeah...uhhhhh...I want to see it right now. Right now, Danny! Suck it!"

Thank God, I though, both because my stomach muscles were about to seize up and because I was seconds away from orgasm. "Umm, umph, uhhh!" I moaned as I pleasured myself with well-practiced moves. "Oh yeah," Teddy said. "Mmm-mmm!" I agreed. We both started panting and groaning and I think he started to come about two seconds before me. "Ahhh!" he groaned, and then I said, "Hmmrrrrrrph!" and a hot, thick gout of semen flowed into my mouth. "No, let it come out all over," he groaned, and I obeyed, freeing my oral grip on my dick and letting it splatter my face with come. Maybe Teddy wasn't the only one who liked performing for an audience, because my orgasm was prolonged and rather copious, and when my spasms finally ended my face was coated in a thick white mask.

I was panting from my exertions. I unlocked my legs and staggered to my feet. Mr. Landau was breathing hard as well. He leaned back in his chair, and reached down on the floor by his chair. He came up with a fluffy white towel and tossed it to me. I took it gratefully and went to work on my face. "Daniel, that was incredible," he said. "I mean, you exceeded all my expectations. Just marvelous."

"Thanks," I said, mopping the goo off my face. I found that I couldn't meet his eyes. I felt somewhat ashamed that I'd debased myself in this way, all over a girl who apparently despised me. I despised myself a little. And I felt more than a little nauseous.

"I must admit, I do enjoy watching people, ah, enjoying themselves, and I don't think I've ever witnessed a more thrilling spectacle."

I said thanks again, and when I was cleaned up I quickly got dressed and sat down in my chair. He was looking at me in a weird way. "Would you agree that my daughter is an unusually beautiful woman?"

It caught me by surprise. "Yes, I would."

He looked at me carefully. "You're unusual too. And I don't mean your unusual talent. You're an intelligent, poised, and obviously determined young man."

"Thanks." The compliment meant a bit less coming from a man who'd just watched me suck myself off.

"I can't count how many men have chased after my daughter, and she's never shown much interest in any of them. But I think she's interested in you, and I can understand why."

I thought I knew better, that Bridget wasn't interested in me, beyond putting the kids at school in their place. "She likes the freak show too," I said, feeling sorry for myself.

Mr. Landau shook his head. "I don't think you believe that, or else you wouldn't have put up with everything you've gone through." He fumbled with his pants, zipping and buckling, and came around the desk. "You kept your end of the bargain, now I'll keep mine. Do you want me to call Elaine, or will you set it up?"

"I'll tell her," I said, wanting to see the look on her face when she found out the little surprise I had for her.

"Let me know. You'll be there?"

"Yes," I sighed. And, knowing Julia was under the desk, I said, "Maybe I'll fuck Julia while you have sex with Elaine."

I meant it as a joke. But the protruding heels twitched, and Mr. Landau licked his lips. "That would be fantastic."

I had no intention of screwing Julia, but it seemed the thing to say. He extended a hand, I took it, and as we shook I made a promise to myself, that when I got married I was going to be a one-woman guy, always faithful, no fooling around. My folks and the Landaus had me convinced that the swinging lifestyle wasn't all that it was cracked up to be.

Mr. Landau walked me to the door, but Bridget was nowhere to be found, so I left without speaking to her. I took my time driving home, feeling pretty crummy. I didn't want to suck my cock anymore. There mere thought of it made my stomach upset and my abdominals tremble. I didn't want to have meaningless sex with women who just wanted my cock. I remembered how Bridget looked after I kissed her in my car, and my heart went pitter-pat. That's what I wanted. I wanted to hold her hand. I wanted to put my arm around her in a movie theater.

I drove around for awhile, just driving, wandering all over, and it was a good half-hour before I pulled into my driveway. I wasn't paying much attention, and when I stepped out of the car I almost got run over as Bridget's car screamed up next to me. She leapt out and, without preamble, slapped me so hard I did a full 360. When the cobwebs cleared I saw she was winding up for another swing, but I stepped close and grabbed her wrist before she connected.

"The hell was that for!" I yelled, tasting blood in my mouth for the second day in a row.

"You're not fucking my mother!" she hissed, and I really had to hold on to keep her from breaking free and clocking me again. "I heard what you told my Daddy! I won't let you! You're not fucking her!"

"Jesus Christ, of course I'm not!" I said. "Wait, how did you hear that?"

"I was listening at the door," she said, not too convincingly. At least I wasn't convinced.

"I'm not going to have sex with Julia. Or anyone else," I said.

"But you had sex with Elaine yesterday, didn't you? Instead of fucking me you ran off to see her, right?"

My head dropped, Elaine must've talked. "Yes, but that's not the same thing," I said, not sounding too convincing myself.

"It isn't? Oh, OK, fine, then," she said, jerking her arm free. Her eyes were filled with rage and hurt and I shied away, thinking she was going to drill me again. But instead she grabbed my ears and kissed me savagely, and when she pulled away a stark smear of my blood stood out on her cheek. She whirled and strode back to her car, yanking the door open and leaping behind the wheel. She smoked her tires pulling out of the driveway and was gone before my cheek stopped burning. I had an idea where she was going, and I thought about rushing over to Elaine's. But that would just make things worse. Best to let her cool off.