Threads: The Island

"You wish to.. hook up with her, Master Kyle," Edwin said, a broad smile on his face now.

"Well, yeah. But somewhere that Patricia or my sisters aren't going to know about," He added. "They're kinda.. control freaks. It feels like I can't take a shit without one of them walking in on me, or micro-managing my every move, and I'm pretty sick of it."

Edwin nodded. "I understand entirely, Master Kyle."

"I mean, take Patricia, right," He continued, warming to his role. "She's there when I wake up, she's there all day, and she's there when I go to bed. And don't get me wrong, she's really fucking hot, and if she's giving it away, I'm not gonna say no, but... "

"You would like to pursue your own desires," Edwin said carefully.

"Something like that, yeah," Kyle replied. "Sorry for all the moaning, Edwin. It's just getting to me, know what I mean?"

"I most certainly do, Master Kyle," The Englishman said. "And be assured, I can arrange with Sarah to be where and when you need her, and if she's already attempted to seduce you, as you suspect, I expect your flight to be an interesting one."

Kyle forced a grin. "That's exactly what I'm hoping for, Edwin. So you can help me out?"

Edwin winked, the smile still fixed on his face like the cat that got the cream. "Most assuredly, Master Kyle. Your secret shall be safe with me."

"You're a frickin star, Edwin," Kyle said, slapping him on the shoulder. "Right, I gotta run. I'm trying to recruit Connor to be my bodyguard, and I want to catch him before my friends arrive."

"Best of luck, Master Kyle. I shall see you on the helipad at what? Five o'clock?"

"Five o'clock," Kyle agreed. "And thanks," He added as he left the office.

Kyle had to work hard to keep the grin off his face as he walked down towards the clubhouse. As George Crowler suspected, Kyle was now sure Sarah's nocturnal visit was definitely linked to whatever Edwin was up to. He was sure of it just from Edwin's reaction alone, and if he could get some information out of Sarah, then that would help figure out what he was up to.

He entered the clubhouse, looking around for Connor, but he wasn't there, so Kyle approached the barman.

"Yes, Master Kyle, he was here a short time ago, sir, but he left with one of the maids."

Kyle grinned. "Connor getting himself into mischief, is he?"

"It certainly appears to be a recurring habit of his, Master Kyle. Do you want me to call his room for you, sir?"

"No," Kyle said shaking his head. "Although if you could tell me where it is, that would be great."

"Turn right as you leave, then left up the hill and it's the first villa on your right, sir."

"Cheers."

Kyle followed the directions and came across a beach-hut styled villa with a wide balcony that looked out over the ocean. He could hear the unmistakable cries of a woman in the throes of pleasure from a window at the far end, so moving as noisily as he could, he approached the window and knocked on it.

"Connor, it's Kyle."

The woman squealed and there was a muffled thud, followed by the Scotsmans laughter and a rushed thud of feet across the wooden floor.

"Come on in, Kyle," Connor called.

Kyle pushed the door open and stuck his head in the doorway to the right, seeing Connor sat in a bed, a wrinkled sheet across his lap and a broad grin on his face. The room was strewn with clothes, pillows and looked like it had been the scene of an argument, not a hookup. The room smelled like sex.

"Sorry to interrupt," Kyle began, but Connor rolled his eyes.

"Give me a wee second," He replied, getting out of bed, wrapping the sheet around his waist as he crossed the room to a wardrobe door in the wall. He opened the door and Kyle's eyes widened as he saw two women hiding in the closet, both completely naked, both trying to cover themselves. One of them shouted something at Connor in Spanish, presumably shut the door.

"Work beckons, ladies, but it's been a blast," Connor told them, waving a hand towards the door.

"I'll just step out for a minute," Kyle said quickly, trying not to laugh. He went out on the balcony for a cigarette. Barely a minute had passed before Connor emerged with a pair of jeans on, the two women back in their maids uniforms darting up the path.

"Sorry to interrupt, Connor," Kyle said, unable to hide his grin.

"Ah, don't worry about it, man. It's all good in the hood, know what I mean."

Kyle pulled out his phone and began to type a message. Crowler confirm saferoom somewhere. E denies it. Why? Need your help! Think E is going to blackmail me/sisters To cover what he was typing he spoke aloud. "So I was thinking about this Kevin Bannon guy and I think you should be my bodyguard, Connor."

Kyle handed him the handset, screen tilted down to the floor. Connor flipped it, glanced at the message

"I'll be happy to help you out in the short-term, Kyle, but long term you need someone like Kevin."

"Any help you can give me in the short-term would be great, Connor," Kyle nodded. He took the phone back and as Connor nodded to the handset, the Scotsman began to ramble about day-rates versus weekly rates, some of the personnel on his team and what it's like working in LA. All the time he kept glancing at the handset of the cellphone, indicating Kyle should type up a new message.

Sarah. Masseuse. Seduced me in my sleep few nights ago. Arranging to meet her in heli for chat. E thinks for me 2 seduce her. Crowler thinks two things linked. Need to find bunker!

Connor read the message as Kyle began to talk about a monthly rate for his services and his teams services, but getting a prolonged discount if it was to be an ongoing contract. The Scotsman erased the message, added one of his own, then handed it back.

Maids know Edwin schedule. Late visits to kitchen, vanishing act. Will tail tonight. Be ready for call

"Fuck, man, I gotta go," Kyle said, nodding. "My friends are arriving any second at the pier and I have to be there to meet them."

"Go for it. I'll catch you later, Kyle."

Kyle got up, and patted the unperturbed man on the shoulder as he went by, then paused at the path. "Connor."

"Yeah."

"You know you smell like pussy, right?"

"Aye. Life's grand sometimes, ain't it?"

Kyle jogged the last few metres along the pier as the Betsy slid the gangplank onto the pier.

"Mother-fucking hero!" Ed called, grabbing him in a bear hug.

"Jesus, fuck, Ed," Kyle laughed, as his friend eventually dropped him.

"Bitch, you're not gonna fucking believe it," Ed grinned. "Limo driver. Her. Caroline."

Kyle chuckled and exchanged a handshake with Casey.

"He's in love," Casey told him, "And he won't shut up about it."

"I am," Ed declared, throwing his hands up in the air. "Kyle, billionaire-dick, matchmaking superhero. When me and Caroline get married and she starts punching out babies, I'm gonna name my first-born male spawn after you. Or maybe a female. Haven't decided."

Kyle laughed and shook his head. Having an excited Ed jump off a boat at you was a bit overwhelming on the senses. He looked at Casey. "How long's he been like this?"

"The whole fucking trip. That's why the limo was late." Casey rolled his eyes. "They stopped. For four hours."

Ed grabbed Kyle again. "Best fucking four hours of my entire puny existance. I can truly call myself," He paused to beat on his chest like a gorilla. "A... Man!"

"You finally lost your anal virginity?" Kyle joked. "With a strap-on?"

"What?" Ed said. "Fuck, no. I did that ages ago with that freaky chick, Cassidy, the one that was into all that pee-pee and shit. Well, not shit, but you know what I mean," He hastily added. "Anyway, where's all the booze at, cunt-nugget?"

"And the women?" Casey added. "Nice pad, by the way."

"Oh, fuck yeah," Ed blurted. "This place is fucking cool. So is this like Tracy Island then? Do we get little fucking Thunderbird hats or what?"

Kyle laughed. It was good to have his friends back around him again, even if it felt like getting hit by a tidal wave of expletives and enthusiasm.

"Follow me, and prepare to be amazed."

Kyle led them along the pier and up off the beach, managing to keep Ed from bombing off the pier or stealing a speedboat by promising to take them out later. They hit him with question after question all the way up the hill until they turned on the path to face the main house.

"Whoa!" Casey muttered.

"Well fist my urethra," Ed blurted. "Is that a fucking Ninja temple?"

It took Kyle a few minutes to stop laughing, and he explained to them that this was the main house, a series of five interconnecting buildings full of suites, guest accommodation, entertainment areas and business rooms, as well as a games room, a cinema, a pool, a bar and a restaurant area.

"And you fucking inherited this?" Ed muttered. "You must be the luckiest cunt on the face of this fucking planet."

"Ed!" Casey protested, hating the way Ed liberally sprinkled the C word into his vocabulary.

"Oh, stop being such a fucking minge-flap, Case," Ed muttered. "Anyway, talking of... " He paused and amended his language. "Ladies, are they here? Your fine-ass sisters?"

Kyle frowned and took a deep breath, addressing them both, but mostly Ed. "Listen up, okay? I only want to have to say this once, and I'm absolutely fucking serious when I say this, alright? You can't talk about what happened three years ago, you can't mention it, refer to it, hint at it, fuck all, okay?"

Casey nodded immediately, but Ed screwed up his face.

"Ed? I'm serious."

He sighed. "Alright man, I promise."

"Now, you can't speak to Kara like she's a stripper, Ed. Neither of you can actually. No calling her Sahara, and no calling Katie Julietta. As far as you're concerned you've never laid eyes on them before, and you'll treat them like you would if they were your own sisters, okay?"

"Not like you would with your sisters, because we all know what happens there," Ed grinned, but seeing Kyle's serious face, he rolled his eyes. "Sorry, fucknut. I just had to get that out of my system. I'll behave, I promise. No sliding down my fucking pole jokes or anything, alright?"

Kyle nodded. "Cool. Now we've got that out the way, we can head in. While you're here you can eat whatever the hell you like, drink whatever you want, and use the facilities. Have a great time, but no fucking parties on your own at four in the morning, Ed."

"Oh, for fuck's sake. Stop being such a whiney bitch, Kyle," Ed muttered. "Christ, if I'd known you were gonna read us a fucking rule book I'd have put my fucking iPod on."

"What happened to me being your match-making mother-fucking hero?" Kyle asked.

"Just imagine this picture, right, of the worlds funkiest, sexiest wallpaper, right, and then put ten supermodels in it, buttnaked, holding up Megan Fox with her fucking legs wide open, ramming a monster fucking dildo up her ass and telling you 'This is so I'm ready for your cock', right?" Ed licked his lips and nodded. "Can you imagine that Kyle? Can you?"

"Yeah," Kyle nodded. "What's your point though?"

Ed paused. "I've forgotten, but it's a fucking cool picture."

Kyle and Casey both chuckled. "You're such a fucking cock sometimes, Ed," Kyle told him.

"Oh, I remembered!" Ed said quickly. "The point is, right. The fucking point is, I'm completely and utterly in love, so I won't be hitting on no bitches, fine-ass or otherwise."

Kyle chuckled, then turned to Casey. "Meant to tell you. Margarita's here too, she looks stunning, and she's brought her sister too."

Casey blinked and then his face broke into a broad smile.

"She's brought a sister?" Ed moaned. "Aw, man."

"I thought you were in love?"

"I am, but... Fuck. We gonna stand here all fucking day or what?"

Kyle chuckled, and led them inside.

He showed them through the ground floor of the main house and then out to the pool area where Katie, Margarita, Louisa and Kara were all sunbathing, all in black bikini's. Kyle stifled impure thoughts at seeing the four of them lying there, tanning themselves.

Casey calmly strolled up and started introducing himself with handshakes and more coolness than James Bond, while Ed introduced himself simply as,"I'm Ed, Kyle's buddy. I'm spoken for so don't be trying to tap this fine ass."

Kyle simply shook his head and showed them to their rooms above the bar, then suggested they chill out at the pool for the afternoon, have a few drinks and he'd see them in a couple of hours at dinner as he work still to do.

He got back to his suite, flopped down on the balcony and lit up. The chaotic, noisy and overwhelming arrival of his friends had restored his good mood and temporarily set back his concerns over everything happening with Edwin, Sarah and Connor, but he was reminded as soon as Patricia appeared and sat beside him.

"How did it go with Connor?"

"Hey," He said, smiling and genuinely happy to see her. "Yeah, I think I've got him, but I'm not really sure." He chuckled. "I know. Not exactly definitive."

She smiled. "No, not exactly. So I think by the way they said hello I've figured out which one's Ed and which one's Casey."

Kyle smiled. "Yeah, they're not exactly similar. Casey's black, smooth and sensitive. Ed's like a vulgar dictionary with a penis."

"But he's in love," She chuckled.

"Yeah, with Caroline, the limo driver that brought me to meet you."

"It's a small world."

"It sure is," He nodded.

"Glad to see them?"

"I am," Kyle said. "Despite the vulgarity, and the fact that I don't trust either of them around my sisters, or you come to think of it, I've missed having them around."

"You're worried about them hitting on me?" She asked, nudging him with her shoulder. "That's sweet."

"I'm sure you can manage to fob them off. I haven't been telling people about..."

"Thanks," She said quietly. "Lakshmi knows, because... well, she's not stupid and she knows me really well, and I know some of the others suspect, but the fewer people who know, the better."

"Why's that exactly?" He asked, tilting his head towards her.

She narrowed her eyes, seeing he was teasing her a little, threatening to kiss her out on the balcony. "Credibility, avoiding the cliche, because it's fun to have a little secret."

To his surprise she slowly looked around, then darted her head towards him and gave him a quick kiss.

Kyle grinned. "You rebel."

"I know. Hardcore or what?" She winked. "When you're finished that come inside. We think we've got your schedule done."

"Good work. I'll be right in."

She kissed him again then slipped away.

Kyle heard the unmistakable sound of Ed downstairs and he peered over the balcony to see the most outrageous pair of shorts he'd ever laid eyes on. They were like a fabric designer had swept up off-cuts of tartan, high-visibility vests, denim, old t-shirts and anything else lying around and had the material pressed into a pair of shorts.

Kyle shook his head. "Peace well and truly shattered," He muttered as Ed bombed into the pool.

The schedule for LA wasn't insane or manic any more, but it was still going to be a busy two weeks. He was pleased to note that Patricia and Lakshmi had built in time they labelled as 'Float', a term he'd first heard in Project Management circles that was basically a bit of spare time built in to cope with delays and allow for the unexpected.

They spent a little over an hour going through it, amending any conflicts or decisions as they went, and by the time they were done, Kyle had a really clear picture of what his fortnight was shaping up to be.

Two days each in the Agency, the Music label, the Production company and the Magazine publishers offices, with six days of meetings and tours. Every evening had a social event or two, some business and some pleasure, and there was a number of slots marked up for media. Mid-way through the trip was a night labelled as 'Party', during which a surprised Kyle discovered he was to be hosting a huge party in the house, despite not knowing anyone in LA.

However, despite his doubts about how ambitious it was, Patricia and Lakshmi seemed confident it would be achievable, so he nodded and thanked them for a huge task, well done.

"So we need to speak about recruitment, Kyle," Patricia told him as the three of them sat outside, supposedly taking a break.

"Sure," He nodded, remembering her talk about how she would need to build her own team.

"Lakshmi's out of contract in a couple of weeks," Patricia explained. Kyle looked at the remarkably competent and efficient Indian girl, who nodded back at him.

"How come?"

"Mister Tripps figured that three weeks would give plenty time for you or your sisters to decide who to keep or who to lose," Lakshmi explained.

"Kyle, can we keep her?" Patricia said simply.

Kyle shrugged. He'd seen so much of people being put in jobs and then having their bosses interfere or micro-manage them, robbing them of the opportunity to actually do the job their way that he considered himself a fan of giving people a job and then letting them sink or swim. As far as he was concerned, Patricia could hire whoever she wanted, as long as they didn't all turn out with personalities like Margaret.

"Is that what you want, Lakshmi?"

She nodded immediately. "Trish and I have been talking about it, and we figure we can split the work, so I'd be doing pretty much what I am now. You seem like a nice guy and a smart one too, plus it'll be fun to keep working with Patricia."

"So you'd be doing the same job as Patricia?" Kyle asked.

"Yes, Kyle," Patricia replied. "Two Assistants. That way you're covered if one of us is sick, busy or tied up."

"As long as you're both happy with that, it's fine by me," He agreed.

"Told you," Patricia said, giving Lakshmi an affectionate bump.

"Thanks, Kyle," Lakshmi replied. "I really appreciate it."

"Thanks nothing. I need the help, if you don't come on board Patricia will get swamped sooner or later, and it's better if you're working for us than our competitors."

Patricia smiled and nodded at him. "Go, Kyle."

He chuckled, then moved on. "So what else about recruitment?"

"Well, I've got a ton of interviews set up for when we get you to San Antonio for a couple of days, before we head out to LA," Patricia explained. "That's for a support team for me and Shmi."

"Are either of you guys going to have a heart attack if I call you Trish or Shmi?" Kyle asked suddenly. "I've heard you call each other that. Just wondering?"

"It's probably better if you stick with our full names for the time being," Patricia replied. "To encourage others to do the same, but I'm not going to collapse or faint if you call me Trish when it's just us."

Lakshmi nodded. "Yes, Lakshmi when there's people around, then whatever when it's just us."

"Alright," Kyle replied. "So what posts are you looking to fill?"

"Two correspondence secretaries, a finanial assistant, a press assistant, information assistant, publicist and media spokesperson," Patricia explained. "For now anyway."

"Plus we'll need a personal shopper, a stylist, maybe even an agent too," Lakshmi added.

"That's like ten people," Kyle protested, his eyes wide.

"They're not all going to be around you, Kyle," Patricia explained. "The correspondence secretaries and financial assistant can work out of head office, but for now it would be helpful to have the press person, the publicist and the information assistant around us. Plus, if we get a personal shopper and stylist on board it means that Margaret won't announce she's coming with us."

"That's a win right there," Kyle said quickly. "So now I'm gonna have an entourage?"

Patricia shrugged. "You'll get over it."

"You keep telling me that."

"It's fun," She smirked.