Threat of Foreclosure

"Do you want to talk about this now or wait?" he asked.

"I don't see any point in waiting" I replied, as I opened my door.

"No, I suppose not," he said, "but I want to go on record against this."

I slammed the car door shut and spun around to face him. "Do you think I want it?" I almost screamed. "I'm the one that has to do things I don't want to do with a man I don't even know. I hated having to kiss that man. Sucking his cock was nothing compared to that."

"Okay, okay, I get it" he said, as he put the packet of information on the counter between us.

I got some coffee started and went to brush my teeth and rinse the taste of cum out of my mouth.

When I returned, he had all the pages laid out on the counter as he studied them.

"There's a lot to think about here."

"I suppose so," I agreed, "but we have to come to some kind of a decision. I have to call them tomorrow."

"They do make it somewhat easier," he said, "There's an itemized check list so all you have to do is check the ones you'll do, and even there, you have options. You can choose "definitely will, definitely won't, might consider, or need more information."

."Do they have a "none of the above" category?" I asked.

"Very funny," he said.

For the next hour, we went through everything without discussion, making notes of what the ones we wanted to discuss and when all was said and done, we hadn't totally eliminated much of anything at all.

"Well," I said, "to start with, I don't think I have any choice whether to do it or not. After talking to him, I guess I should be grateful that I've kept myself in good shape. He complimented me and said I appeared much younger on the film we shot.'

"I guess you just need to decide how you feel about doing some of these"

Some of the categories, like oral and straight couple sex were so obvious, I went through and checked them off right away, but some categories, like threesomes, swinger, machine sex and double penetration were checked under "will consider but . ' Bdsm, whipping, and the like were simply crossed off.

We then moved to the lesbian categories and marked them all yes except bondage and anal, which I marked "will consider´ and bdsm and whipping were once again crossed off

"Let me ask you something Tanya," he said. "Tell me the truth. Are you absolutely sure you can do those things on camera and do them well enough to get paid?"

"The way I look at it, I don't really have a choice, do I? I mean if I have any doubts at all, I won't do it, period."

"So what happens if they don't like a scene? Do you just do it over and over?"

"I have no idea," I said, "but I guess it could happen. I mean, the films aren't going to sell if they aren't good."

I went to get more coffee but I really wanted some time to wrap my mind around what I was about to do. Adam was a decent lover but stamina was never his strong suit so the thought of doing a fuck scene over and over with a big cock was sort of appealing but I couldn't let him find out how I felt.

Laying in bed that night, all I could think of was how the big cock that I'd been sucking on would feel in my pussy or my ass. Oh god, could I even take a big cock there?

For that matter, did I even want to try? I'd never done anal, even with Adam.

After a sleepless night, I knew exactly what I was going to do, but before I signed any contract, I wanted it read by someone that knew what they were doing and no matter what they said about the way they treated the talent, I wanted specific language. I only knew one person I could trust and I knew I'd catch hell for doing it but I wasn't asking permission or looking for advice.

I drove to the studio and met with the talent coordinator. We talked about my decisions and he gave a copy of the contract. By the time I left there, I was confident I'd made the right decision even though I was not completely confident that I could do everything they expected.

At one time I had worked as a paralegal and had made friends with one of the young female attorneys. When I called and explained what I needed, she said she was not a talent attorney but she knew one that could be trusted. I made arrangements to meet with them on Saturday and they even agreed to work probono for the first contract. I have to admit that they were shocked to find what the contract covered and how specific the language was. Of course, I received the warnings and all but I convinced them that I had to do it. There was nothing left to do now other than show up on Monday with aq signed contract.

If I thought that I was ready to jump into the adult film business, I was completely wrong. All the way home, my body was a taut as a snare drum. I decided that up to that point I'd been able to separate possibilities from reality, knowing I hadn't made any commitments yet. Now, I was about to sign a binding contract. A promise, as it were, to have sex with strange men in front of a full crew of men and women whose job it was to film everything for sale on the open market.

Needless to say, I was a nervous wreck,lying awake most of the night and waking in the morning ready to call the whole thing off, but knowing that was not an option.

As we ate breakfast, Adam informed me that he wasn't going with me. "I just can't," he said. "There is no way I'm going to watch my wife get fucked and who knows what else, by another man."

I was torn by his statement. He'd always been at my side, giving me support and encouragement no matter what I was doing and now I had to face the most traumatic event in my life on my own.

He couldn't even bear to say good bye when he left and for the first time in our marriage, he hadn't kissed me or told me he loved me.

It hurt me beyond belief and I made no attempt whatsoever to hold back the tears. In fact, I threw myself on the bed and sobbed for a long time.

He did call finally to apologize and tell me he loved me, but it seemed so shallow; far to little and way too late.

Even though I hadn't committed to anal, I didn't want to take chances so I gave myself an enema and a second one just to be safe. I then showered, being sure to be clean where it counted and dressed in a loose skirt and pull over, reasoning that they would be easy to remove.

I drove to the studio and for several minutes, I sat in the car, gathering my courage. "You can do this," I repeated over and over.

The receptionist smiled as I went in. "They're waiting for you in Mr.Carling's office."

I followed her down the long hall, the sound of my footsteps echoing off the walls. I felt somewhat like an animal being led to slaughter.

Mr . Carling stood and took my hand to welcome me to the cast.

"I wasn't really looking for mature performers," he said, "but as soon as I saw that body, I wanted to hire you. Then Derek told me how tight you were and Tricia said you performed well for your first time so we knew we wanted you for sure. "

" I guess all that time on the elliptical machine and tread mill paid off then," I said. "That and the Kegal exercises."

He went over the contract with me, not knowing that I'd had a lawyer look it over. We each signed I and it was witnessed and I was officially a cast member.

"We generally take the first day to run through a few scenes with you to see how well you handle the various activities and of course, that doesn't pay much. If you're interested though, we do have a paid scene to shoot. It doesn't have much dialogue to learn but you may not be interested because it is a mild bondage scene with a male lead.

You would be tied to the bed with a ball gag placed in your mouth. There's also a mild spanking scene. It pays well, but that's up to you."

He handed me the script and I did a quick read. The whole film only ran a little over an hour and a half and a great deal of time was spent in me being stripped and forced down on the bed where I was tied spread eagle on the bed. A ball gag would be forced into my mouth and my breasts and nipples abused, I would then be eaten and fingered through an orgasm before being fucked hard.

I would then be flipped over and once again restrained, My ass would be spanked, spread wide, licked, and fingered before I was once again fucked hard.

"As soon as I started reading ," I said, "I thought for sure this would be an anal scene"

The two men looked at each other and smiled. "You have a good head on your shoulders, Tanya," Mr. Carlling said. "I thought it should be anal but the client disagreed."

I did another read and gave it some thought, but in the end, I accepted the assignment.

"In for a penny, in for a pound" I said.

"You'll do just fine," he said. "The male lead is a patient, experienced man."

The next thing I knew, a woman came in to be introduced as Diane from wardrobe and makeup. She led me out of the room and down the hall to her department, where I was stripped and laid out like a piece of meat with my legs spread. She then did my body makeup, including a couple of fake tattoos. You might be surprised where they have to apply makeup. For example, my inner lips are quite light so they had to be made darker as did my anus and nipples. The one thing I questioned was when she worked a thick lube deep into my pussy. She explained that she always did that for first time performers.

All the time she was working on me, I read and re-read the script, and by the time I was ready, I had the few lines of dialogue down and closing my eyes I could visualize every change. It actually helped to calm my nerves as the unknown is always the most stressful.

I was dressed in break-away clothing that tore easily and then a production assistant led me to the room where the shoot would be done and introduced me to my male lead, a man somewhat younger than I, about six-two, athletic looking with intense blue eyes and brown hair. He assured me that it would be a smooth shoot but the alarm bells went off when he said we should be done by one. Over four hours to shoot a film of just over an hour and a half. How much of that time would be spent with his cock buried in my pussy? I was suddenly grateful for the client's decision against anal.

We did a walk through to help the camera crew establish camera positioning as well as to give me a better concept of everything, and then it was show time. I know the movie or video you watch is smooth continuous action but that's not what happens in the studio.

The film opened with me being led into the room, where he would rip off my clothes, throw me to the bed and tie me to the bed as I struggled to get free. Pillows under my hips thrust my pussy up and my legs were spread wide, and tied to the corners of the bed. My hands were tied together and then placed over my head and secured. It wasn't until that point that he stripped and I got my first look at his cock. It was at least as large and possibly even larger than one I'd sucked, both in length and thickness.

The ball gag was a new experience for me and at first, I had trouble swallowing. I drooled like a two bit drunk, especially since I couldn't figure out what to do with my tongue

He worked my breasts over good and then he went after my nipples, kissing and licking them at first, but then sucking and biting them hard enough as to be painful, the last time being so hard I thought he bit them off. One thing for certain, the moans, gasps and squeals bordering on screams didn't have to be faked. Neither did the orgasms he gave me with his fingers, which he drove into me deep, hard and fast, and his mouth, including his teeth. They were powerful and loud, just what they wanted but they left me weak and disoriented with a seriously irritated clit.

When he crawled up to put his cock close to my face, I wasn't sure what he wanted since I still had that ball gag in my mouth. He used his cock to slap my face over and over but then he moved on the bed and it was time for the main event.

He wasn't shy about his entry into me, as he just shoved it deep with one hard stroke. Now I understood why she had worked so much lube deep into my pussy. That big cock forced my walls apart and my cervix was shoved into my body until I thought he'd destroyed it. He was forceful and fast, pounding into me like an air hammer. My orgasm came fast and hard, but either he didn't realize it or didn't care as I never had a chance to come down before I felt another one coming on. I always have multiple orgasms when I masturbate, but this was different. I never got a chance to catch a breath. Did I enjoy it? You damned right I did, but it left me tired, irritated and too weak to think and we still had at least half of the shoot to do yet.

I tried to act like I was fighting him off as he untied me and turned me over before securing me to the bed again with my ass in the air. I simply lacked the strength left to make it realistic. The director then called "Cut," and we got a break. During the break, my performance was critiqued and for a while, I thought they were going to accept the first take but I should have known better. It turned out that I had turned into the camera on two occasions and that is not allowed. It was enough to force a complete re-shoot. So I went back to makeup, cleaned my pussy up and this time, I made sure I got enough lube in all the right places.

Mr. Carling came in to make up as I lay there, nearly naked, and leaned against the wall to talk to me as I was being worked over.

"Working with the cameras is an integral part of the job, Tanya," he said. "Iit's the reason we do several run-throughs before we use you in an actual scene. It just so happened that this is a small bit part and I was sure you could do it. Get your head into the scene before we start shooting again. You can do this, I know you can."

One of the assistants warned me that everyone has a tendency to over correct and that was even a more serious mistake as the director has doubts that you are able to do the shoot at all.

As they got everything ready, I re-read the script over and over, focusing my thoughts on my responsibilities, and visualizing my walk through again and again.

The second shoot went without any mistakes as far as I knew and was accepted, but now, my pussy was thoroughly irritated by that big cock and the pounding I got. I had a feeling that my labia was rosy red and my nipples throbbed from the abuse they took.

I was turned over and once again secured to the bed with my ass in the air.

My ass was then spanked beet red and a lotion was worked into the tender flesh and deep into my anus. They had said no anal but I was in no position to argue, what with a ball gag in my mouth and a forced reshoot already delaying production. My ass cheeks were then spread wide and he licked through my crack and probed into my anus with his tongue. I remembered to express myself orally as loud as I could and I squealed loudly as his thumb was pushed through my sphincter. I was then fingered in both holes fast and hard before he mounted me to fuck me doggy style even harder than he'd fucked me before.

As soon as the director yelled "cut," and declared it to be a wrap, I was untied, helped up and told that I could shower. The shower confirmed what I had suspected about the state of my labia and nipples, but I slipped into a robe to attend a post production meeting where everyone was critiqued. They told us that they would not know for sure whether there would be another shoot until film edit got done cutting and pasting. So I had to come back the next day. . I dressed then and went into the scheduling office to see if there was anything coming up in the near future that I could audition for. Janice, the scheduling clerk went over everything on the thirty day schedule and printed out

an invitation to audition, which I looked over and marked up.

As I stood there, I was given a packet of scripts for the five training scenes I would be doing to prepare me for auditions for full film productions. It then came to me that I was going to be having more sex than I'd had for quite some time and I wondered how it would impact my marriage and Adam's ego.

I hadn't planned on being in the studio every day but it now appeared that at least for a week or two that might be necessary. How much of that time would be spent naked remained to be seen, as well as Adam's tolerance.

As I left the studio, I thought about everything that had happened and the intense sex I'd had for several hours. My body was still sending me signals by way of battered body parts and the thought of having sex with Adam was not something I was looking forward to. If he wanted it though, I'd have to do it and just hope that I didn't do or say anything to piss him off or hurt his feelings.

Above all, I could not, under any circumstances, allow him to draw me into any comparisons of cock size or the skills of the lover. In fact I didn't want to discuss the shoot at all, although I saw no way to accomplish that.

I stopped at a favorite restaurant of mine for a late lunch and a way to re-focus my mind before facing Adam but I got hit with a delayed firestorm of guilt like I'd never felt before. It wasn't so much guilt over what I'd just done. I didn't feel dirty or slutty at all. The guilt came from knowing that I had cheated on Adam. I'm not sure if that's what caused it, but my stomach hurt so much that after just a few bites, I went to the ladies room where I hurled into the porcelain god. For several minutes, I sat on the floor, but when someone came in, I sat on the toilet as the tears started sliding down my cheeks.

"Are you all right in there?" someone asked.

"All right," I replied, choking back the tears until she left, but giving them free rein as the door closed, and the more I thought about everything, the more I cried. Reality had just struck home and she is a heartless bitch. Everything seemed to have happened so fast that what I was doing didn't really register and of course, it couldn't be undone.

No matter how I looked at it though,, there was no way to avoid hurting him. Even worse, I might have just destroyed our marriage. Did I do it without him knowing? No not at all, but that knowledge did little to ease my mind. There could be no winner here at all. What really hurt was that the money I'd made was but a drop in the bucket to what we needed.

I bathed my face in cold water and repaired my makeup, stumbled back to my table to get the bill, rushed up to the register to pay, and ran to the car, where I sat, trying to calm down, or at the least, get some semblance of control. Eventually, I felt calm enough to drive, so I headed for home. Make no mistake, I knew what I was going to find once I got there, but I just decided that I couldn't hide from it. All the way home, I talked to an imaginary Adam in the passenger's seat, trying to find some discussion points that might save me and my marriage. By the time I pulled into the garage, I had decided that if we couldn't work our way through the current situation without me being able to save face and preserve my dignity, there was little or no chance of saving our marriage or our home. I refused to be treated any other way. I had already made what I thought to be the ultimate sacrifice.

I dropped my purse and the packet of scenes I had to do on the counter along with my car keys, and went to pour a large glass of wine. I drank almost half of it and filled it most of the way again. Then I took several deep breaths and walked into the den, since I knew he'd be there.

"I didn't realize this was a full time job," he said, even before I sat on the softest recliner facing the window overlooking the beach.

"Get it out of your system," I said. "When you feel you can talk without sarcasm or accusations, we'll talk but I'm in no mood for your bullshit. I'm tired and not in the best of moods."