Three of a Kind Pt. 01

"That's my house." I'd said, weakly. "That's where my mom and dad are."

The police officer paused for a few moments, then took me gently by the arms and led to me to one side.

"If you'd just come with me miss" he said, his voice softer now, but insistent. "We'll find somewhere for you to sit down."

Some people came to speak to me later. I don't remember everything they said.

******

Chapter 2

One of the police officers had eventually taken my cell phone and asked me who he should contact. Automatically, I gave them Jennifer's number. Within a short space of time, both Jennifer and Cassie had arrived at the scene. Cassie cried a lot. Jennifer dealt with the police and firemen. I didn't see her cry. The police eventually took us back to Jennifer's house. I stayed in the spare room and fell quickly into a deep and formless sleep. I remembered waking up late the next morning, feeling bright and chipper. I wrapped one of my eldest sister's dressing gowns around me as I walked down to the large ground-floor kitchen and the smell of coffee. I had a smile ready for both my siblings. It fled from my face when I saw them both; sitting, dishevelled, both holding cups of coffee in their hands. In that instant, the enormity of what had happened the previous night came back to me. I hadn't dreamt it. Hadn't stayed at my sister's house after getting a bit too tipsy and had a weird dream about a house fire. It had been real.

When they saw me, and the look of horror mixed with surprise and shock on my face, they were quick to react. Cassie immediately started crying. At that very sight, almost as if my tear glands had expected it and were waiting only for an instruction from my brain, I too began to cry. Loose tears, spilled easily down my cheeks; tears in a hurry to escape before the wracking, sobbing and chest-heaving followed them.

Jennifer held open her arms and I ran between them, letting my sister enfold me and hug me while I struggled to contain the hurt and the pain of the sobbing, and the awful sound of my beautiful sister Cassie doing the same.

***

After a long cry, we all calmed down enough for us to share a three way hug; holding each other in a disorganised, uncomfortable mess of towelling robes and dressing gowns. We hugged a lot, then all sat down and said nothing for a time. I suspect we were all doing the same; all thinking endlessly about our parents. About things they'd said to us, or given us. Times we'd enjoyed together, places we'd been to. Things we hadn't said or done with them. Then Cassie (it would have to be Cassie; the one with the most love of life) said;

"I never got to tell dad how bad he was at golf."

It broke the mood and made us all laugh. The laughter was mixed with tears, but they were open ones; as if it were now okay to talk about mom and dad. We each recited embarrassing stories; how Jennifer had once long ago caught mom and dad having sex on the kitchen worktop.

"...Honey, daddy forgot his shorts again, so I was just holding on to him from up here. He's so tall. Be a sweetie and get his towelling robe....."

How Cassie had been mortified when Dad had come early to pick her up from the high school prom, and had been determined to get on the dance-floor;

"..Kiddo, you aint seen nothing' yet!" Then skidded on a napkin and crashed into the food table before sprawling out on the floor as all of Cassie's classmates wondered who the madman was.

How dad had come to video my solo dance in the school production of our punk-rocker musical, and left the lens cap on throughout the performance. Watching the video afterwards had been equally funny; a blank screen with background music and dad's blow-by-blow commentary;

"...aw, that's a nice move- ooops, nearly fell over there, Kimberley. Watch out... Who the hell is that guy? What a weirdo. What the hell is going on?"

At last, drying our eyes from the laughter of it all, Jennifer slapped the table and announced;

"I am not getting out of this fucking bathrobe until bed-time!"

Cassie and I agreed that we'd do the same. We spent the whole day watching films (snuggled together on the three-seater sofa), snacking on foods our waistlines would surely regret, talking together and - eventually - making a significant dent into Jennifer's wine reserves. At the end of the evening, I went into the little-used spare room that I was beginning to make my own, and tried to get some sleep. It didn't come. At a point where the grief and anger and hollowness was just about to swallow me again, there was a knock at the door.

"Kim? Honey are you okay?"

It was Cassie. I got up, opened the door, and threw my arms around her.

"I feel so lonely!" I said, not knowing where the words, or the feelings, had come from. Cassie pulled away from me and took my hand.

"Come with me" she said. She led me to her much larger bedroom and closed the door behind us.

"You're staying with me tonight." she said, "So I can make sure you don't go all wiggy on me."

I chuckled through the sobs and offered her a lop-sided smile. "Top and tail, like we used to?" I said.

"Oh, hell. Just choose a side." Cassie replied.

I shrugged off the robe and climbed into the right side of the bed, facing away. Cassie slipped under the covers behind me. I shivered a little.

"It's cold" I said. Without replying, Cassie wrapped an arm around my waist, hugging close to me. I shivered again, feeling the instant warmth and heat from her body. She pressed up close against me and I could feel the crush of her breasts, beneath her nightshirt, beneath my pyjamas, against my back. Could feel the smoothness of her thighs against the backs of my legs. Feel the warm drift of her breath on the back of my neck.

"Shh. Shh, baby sister." she said, bringing up her hand to smooth her fingers against the side of my face. "It's all gonna be okay."

I relaxed, drifted off to sleep in the arms of my sister, and dreamt.

**

I was travelling in a very fast train; watching the dull grey landscape beyond me hurtle by at unimaginable speeds. Even the far distance, usually so static, like the hour hand of an old clock, seemed to shift and rumble as the train ate up the miles. I turned away from the window and looked down at myself. I was sitting in a small old-fashioned compartment; upholstered seats with wooden arm rests, six of them in all. Luggage racks angled up toward the ceiling above each side of the seats, all empty.

I was sitting, quite primly, on the seat closest to the window, dressed in a tight-fitting, formal skirt suit. It was made of some kind of heavy material - like tweed - and was grey flecked with little lines of pink and red and yellow. The skit clung to the bottoms of my thighs - just an inch or so above my knees. I was wearing beige stockings (yes: I could feel that they were stockings; the suspender belt clipped to them pressed against my thighs), and a pair of sturdy leather shoes with a dashing two inch heel. I could feel a stiff bra beneath a smooth textured shirt, and my suit jacket was buttoned tight up from my waist to almost as high as my collar. As I turned my head, I could feel the weight of a hat perched on top of my head. I lifted my hands up to feel the hat and noticed the glint of jewellery and adornments.

My right hand was braceleted with a string of smooth green stones. My left hand was collared by a small ladies' watch. Thin black leather strap. Ticking hands. Quite the antique. On the fourth finger of my self hand (yes; the wedding finger, as some people call it), was a slim ring topped with a crown of emeralds and a single large diamond. I was quite sure of the gemstones, even though I had never seen the ring before.

I stared at the engagement ring with a curiosity I hadn't experienced since I had been a child. It was an exquisite ring. Must have been very expensive, but it somehow felt right. Like I wasn't a stranger to it.

I pushed myself off the seat and walked carefully to the door. The clothes I wore felt odd, but not uncomfortable. I opened the door to the gangway and stepped outside the compartment. I looked left. The carriage was empty.

"Darling! Darling there you are!"

I turned at the sound of the voice - a voice I instantly recognised but could not place - and stared, mouth slightly open. Coming towards me down the gangway, dressed in an impeccable 1940s suit, was my sister Cassie. Only the person approaching me was unmistakably a man. Taller, bigger build, rugged face with no hint of make-up, and a slight pencil-thin moustache etched onto the upper lip. Cassie's long braid swung ponderously from behind the man's slick-backed hair. The features were a man's. The build, the clothes, everything about him told me he was a man. But the figure coming toward me was without a doubt my older sister, Cassie.

He/she approached me with arms extended, hands opened.

"Darling, I've missed you! Come here to me. Come to me."

I felt myself being drawn toward him/her, and being accepted into that embrace. The figure smelled exactly like my sister and, as I felt his/her hands reach around my waist and slip over the roundness of my buttocks, I felt my heart skip a beat.

"I've missed you so much, baby girl." said the man/Cassie.

Outside the landscape hurtled by at unimaginable speeds. I looked over an-

***

I opened my eyes and felt my heart beating far too fast. I nearly cried out but remembered at that last moment that I was not alone; not able to make such noise without disturbing Cassie. I shifted quietly on Cassie's large bed, looking for the alarm clock, and looking to see where my sister was. As I turned, I felt Cassie shift slightly. She stretched a leg and moaned softly. I bit my lip, conscious that anything I did might wake her up. I loved slowly to face her. She was lying on her side, away from me. The time on the clock beyond her read 4:54. I shifted myself slowly from the bedcovers and stood up. I pulled my dressing gown over my shoulders and stepped to the door. As I was about to leave I stopped and turned back to the bed. I went over, very quietly, to Cassie's side and stared at her for a moment. She looked very serene, cheeks flushed a little red from the heat we had created in bed together. I leaned in close to her and planted a very soft kiss on her cheek. She didn't move. As I stood up and left, I somehow couldn't divorce the image of my sister as the man of my dreams on the hurtling train.

I went back to the cold spare room and slept lightly.

***

At the breakfast table, Jennifer announced that she was going back to work. She said that she was only going to the office in town, not some far-flung place like she had to sometimes. She told Cassie that she'd be back in the early evening, for us to have dinner together, then left; her earl grey tea only half drunk.

When she had gone, Cassie joined me in the large sitting room as I flicked through a few cable channels.

"Hey" she said, holding out her hand, "I saw one for you the other day. Gimme the controls."

I handed over the handset and Cassie punched in three digits. The TV screen turned blue and a yellow sign informed us that GayGirlTV would not begin broadcasting until 7pm.

"Oh shoot" said Cassie. "I'd forgotton it doesn't start until later."

"Forgotten?" I said, wrinkling my brow.

"I mean, yeah; I'd uh, looked it up in the listings before." said Cassie, tossing the controls back. I flicked it back to the news channel I'd last remembered seeing. There'd been another shooting in New York, and Denver was holding some kind of huge annual agricultural fair.

"Hey." said Cassie, tapping my drawn-up knee.

"Hmm?

"What happened this morning?"

I frowned again, momentarily distracted by the two newscasters fumbling around each other's lines.

"What do you mean?"

Cassie slapped me lightly on the thigh. "Like, you weren't there, doofus!" she said.

I turned to her and returned the smile she sent me.

"Sorry," I said. "I had a funny dream, woke up and didn't want to disturb you. So I crept back to the spare room."

"You didn't need to worry. I wouldn't have mind you waking me. I was sleeping light anyway. Besides, I've been disturbed for some time anyway."

"Yeah, I know that!"

Slap. Prod. Cushion whack. Return cushion whack.

"Ow! Minx." "Cow." "Cow back."

We collapsed back onto the sofa, grinning. "Seriously," Cassie said. "You should have stayed. I was worried when I turned over and could feel you."

I made a face. "But, but it would have felt a bit strange if Jenny had come in to wake you up and saw us cuddled up together."

"Oh get real."

"What? You don't think that would look weird?"

"Us two sharing a bed? Course not. It's not like you'd ever be that desperate for a girlfriend."

"Hey!" I realised my reply was a little sharper than I'd meant it to be. Cassie's face fell.

"Oh Kim, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant- I just meant that you'd probably set your sights a lot higher."

"That's what the 'hey' was for!" I said, giving her knee a playful push to show her that I wasn't angry. "You are way hotter than most of the girls I've ever met."

"Really?"

"Really. So I don't want to hear you talking like that, okay?"

"Okay."

"Mean it?"

"Yep."

"'Cause I can go to level two with this cushion." I said, threatening her with the edge of the one I'd hit her with.

"Oh now really; get real" Cassie replied, reaching behind her for ammo. I got one in before she belted me. We had a cushion fight for pretty much ten minutes; two grown women rolling around in our pyjamas hitting each other with cushions. Eventually, we stopped, both lying on the floor next to each other, grinning and panting.

"Sleepover in my room tonight?" Cassie said.

"Oh why not?" I replied, getting in one more good hit before running off to the sanctuary of the bathroom.

***

Jennifer arrived home early (for her) at 5pm. Cassie had only just come back herself before that from a stint at the seconds shop. I promised her that I would come join her one day soon. Jennifer looked happier and more content than the day before, and I wondered if she had been to see Elliot. She was wearing a formal skirt suit, black stockings (I guessed) and a white blouse. She didn't change clothes when she got home, much to Cassie's disgust.

"Don't you ever want to slob out?" she said, waving her hands up and down her own sloppy jeans and t-shirt outfit.

Jennifer ha declined to reply, telling me instead that she was going to cook pasta for tonight. I said okay, giggling that the two of them could be do husband-and-wife-like. We had another bottle of Jennifer's good red wine between us and played card late into the evening. The three of us loved playing cards. Cassie even joked that they had built and lived in the house of cards. After the house had gone quiet, and we had all retired for the night, I lay in the cold spare room bed and tried not to feel too sad or lonely.

When I heard a soft knock at the door, I got up, pulling the dressing-gown around me, and went outside, taking my sister's hand as we crept off to her room. Shrugging off my dressing gown, I slipped under the covers to the same spot I took the previous night. I felt Cassie jump into bed behind me, then felt her arm pull me into a close hug once more. I could feel her heavy breasts loose against my back.

"Cassie" I whispered. "Aren't you wearing pyjamas?"

"Just some shorts" she whispered back, her breath soft and sweet against my neck. She nuzzled further against me, pressing her body up against my back, and her knees into the backs of my thighs.

"You got me too hot last night."

"Too hot?"

"mm-hmm."

Cassie nuzzled against me a little closer and I felt the heat and the comforting warmth of her body up against me.

"Kimby?"

I smiled drowsily at Cassie's old pet-name for me. "Yeah?"

"When did you know you wanted to be with girls? I mean, how did you know?"

"I'm not sure. I just did. I remember looking at pictures of women when I was young and thinking they looked really nice."

"How do you mean, 'nice'?"

I turned round in the large bed to face my sister. Cassie didn't move away and we found ourselves almost nose to nose.

"I don't know. I'd stare at model's faces, and their bodies, their legs. I liked the way women's hips curved, and how their breasts looked. I thought women were very pretty, even back then."

"How young were you?"

"I guess about twelve or thirteen."

"When did you first kiss a girl?"

I smiled again, jabbed a finger to poke Cassie in the ribs but felt something a lot softer.

"What is this; Twenty Questions?"

"No; I just want to know."

"Well it was with Amanda. When I was seventeen. If you have to know."

"How... How did it feel? To kiss another girl?"

".....it felt nice. It felt good. A lot softer and gentler than when I'd kissed boys."

"Did you... did you really, really want to make out with Amanda?"

I wrinkled my nose. "Not especially, I guess. I mean I hadn't been chasing her or anything. I just had the opportunity and took it. I'm glad I did though. Amanda was nice."

"Nice?!"

I giggled. "Well, if you have to, have to know, she was pretty hot. When we were together."

I felt, rather than saw Cassie nod her head. The beginnings of an uncomfortable silence stole over us. I was aware that we still had our bare legs entwined.

"Now is that all, Ms Letterman, or did you have any more questions?"

Cassie poked her tongue out and blew a raspberry at me. "Zip it, lesbo." she said. That earned her another jab in the ribs. I turned over onto my other side once more. Again, Cassie drew herself up close behind me, snaking her arm around my waist.

I clung onto the arm she wrapped around me and nestled into the bed, suddenly feeling very drowsy and comfortable as my sister's soft purring voice called me baby and told me to have good dreams. The last thing I remembered, before drifting off to sleep, was Cassie's soft, warm hand pressing up against the ribs beneath my breasts, and her slightly sweet breath tickling the short hairs on the back of my head.

****

I screwed my eyes shut tight and mouthed an 'O' as I felt the wind scream past me from the inside of the open top car I was sitting in. The car was old, antique, like it had been made fifty years ago and more, but was tearing down the long road in front of me at a frightening pace. I became aware of the seat belt tight against my collarbone; pressing the skin between my two small breasts. I was wearing some kind of top beneath a loose jersey, a short black skirt and mid-calf high heeled boots. When I shifted slightly I could feel the stockings and suspender belt against my thighs. The passenger seat I occupied was soft and covered in a thick, cushioned leather. The world outside the car blurred past in screaming helter. I could not catch my breath.

"Exhilirating, isn't it, darling?" shouted the man next to me.

I turned and looked into the smiling, rakish face of the man-form my sister Cassie had carried over from the train journey. He/she was in the driving seat next to me, sitting far back into the seat and driving with a wide-eyed abandon that bordered on recklessness. He/she was wearing a loose shirt, unbuttoned to the chest, with blue denim jeans and boots on. I caught a glimpse of the smooth skin of his/her chest as the long braid struggled to fly loose behind his head. I could not - literally - say anything. The speed and violence of the air around me took my breath away. The man-form Cassie reached over and put his/her hand on my left thigh, squeezing lightly.

"I love you." he/she said, working his fingers against the nylon fabric of my stockings. He took his hand away and returned it to the steering wheel.

"You do love me, don't you, Kimby?" His/her face was solemn.