Three Square Meals Ch. 113

Helene laughed and nuzzled into him. "I can hardly wait..." Her smile faded a little and she glanced up at John, a troubled look in her eyes. "Bringing new life into the world is such a wonderful thing... so why do I get the feeling you don't approve of the Abandoned having large families?"

John paused for a moment to consider how to answer her question. "Other than the fact that the Brimorians are using your people to breed a slave race, having that many children leads to a massive population explosion. Eventually the worlds the Abandoned are settled on will be unable to sustain such huge numbers; there won't be enough food grown to feed everyone and people will starve to death in their millions. The Brimorians must be planning to restrict the size of Abandoned families eventually, or they'll end up being vastly outnumbered within their own empire."

"How many children would be a sustainable number?" Helene asked in a hushed voice.

"Perhaps two per family?" he tentatively suggested, having a good idea how that would be received.

Her mouth fell open in shock. "Two?!"

John gave her a helpless shrug. "I'm not an expert on population management, but I'm pretty sure the Abandoned will have to drastically reduce the number of children they're having. If they don't, they'll end up facing an awful future... no matter what happens with the Brimorians."

"Only two babies..." Helene murmured in a daze, looking appalled. "I just... I don't even know what to say."

"It's not as bad as it sounds," he said, trying to lift her mood with an encouraging smile. "With smaller families, the parents can devote more time to caring for and educating each child. Ultimately, we'll need to place a huge focus on education for the Abandoned, so that we can train them with lots of new skills other than just manual labour."

Her eyes were wide as she gazed up at the stars through the clear-crystal ceiling. "I'm finally starting to see how much we're going to impact my people... their entire way of life will never be the same."

He nodded, giving her a supportive hug. "When we free the Abandoned from slavery, they'll be facing huge changes. I want to make this as easy for them as I can, but I must admit, I have no experience dealing with anything remotely like this."

Faye appeared beside them in a flash, her wings fluttering pensively. Her luminous gaze lingered wistfully on Helene's swollen belly for a second, before switching to John. "Hey! Sorry to interrupt, is this a bad time?"

He shook his head. "It's alright, honey. What's up?"

"I just wanted to let you know that Rachel's finished the Kirrix autopsy and requests that you join her and the girls in the bedroom," the purple sprite replied.

John glanced at the chronometer on the wall and was startled to see that it was 4:32 pm. "Wow, the last couple of hours flew by..." He glanced down at his teal-skinned bedmate and continued, "Do you want to come with me? Rachel's going to tell us about the Kirrix Hive Queen and the Nest Guardians."

"Would you mind if I stayed here a while?" she requested, sounding numb. "I've got a few things to think about..."

"I'm sorry I shocked you," he said, studying her with concern. "Are you okay?"

She focused on John, a wan smile appearing on her forlorn face. "I feel so sad for my people. There are many terrible things that they need to know, but I'm worried that this knowledge will tear them apart."

"I promise I'll do whatever I can to help them," he said, gazing into her eyes.

Helene caressed his cheek, her expression filled with gratitude. "I knew in my heart that you would. Baen'thelas, the righter of wrongs... Tashana chose that name well."

"Just remember that we'll be fighting to give your people their freedom," he reminded her. "That isn't something to feel sad about; it's an opportunity for the Abandoned to forge their own path."

"I know... it just feels like they'll be losing their innocence, even if that means going on to lead a better life," she said, before freezing and looking at John in shock.

"What's the matter?" he asked, seeing her abrupt shift in expression.

"That's what happened to me..." she whispered, sounding awestruck.

John thought about it for a second, then nodded. "You were a lovely girl when we first met, but you're developing into an incredible woman. Change doesn't have to be bad, sometimes the results can be very special..."

She blushed and gave him a fierce hug. "Thank you... for everything."

When they parted, John rose from the bed, watching Helene anxiously to make sure she was alright. She seemed calmer now and gave him a reassuring smile before shooing him on his way. With a final wave goodbye to the aquatic girl, he left the Observatory with Faye at his side.

"I'll see you up in the bedroom, John," Faye said, her wings fluttering anxiously as she hovered in the air.

"I'd like to talk to you for a moment before you disappear," he said as he walked over the bridge. "Something's obviously bothering you and I'd like to know what it is."

"I-I'm not sure what you mean," she stammered, her big eyes widening further.

"You'd normally jump at the chance to have one of your avatars keep me company; the fact that you didn't is a dead giveaway that you're upset about something and you're avoiding me for some reason." He paused half-way across the bridge and looked at the stricken purple girl. "I thought our date was amazing, but now I'm worried that I did something to offend you."

"You didn't do anything wrong, I promise!" she blurted out, sounding aghast. "I never meant for you to think that!"

John's expression softened with concern. "Talk to me, honey. I know there's something on your mind."

Faye's hologram wrung her hands together, unsure what to do. "You need to speak to Faye Primary!" she finally blurted out, her elfin face a mask of worry. "We'll meet you in our room!"

She disappeared an instant later, leaving John staring at nothing. *Are you awake, Alyssa?*

*Hey, John,* the blonde replied. *Rachel woke me up a few minutes ago. You were busy chatting with Helene and I didn't want to interrupt.*

He walked along the bridge and stooped to gather his clothes. *Did you overhear me talking to Faye?*

*Yeah... and she just rushed out of here with a weird smile plastered on her face,* Alyssa replied, sounding completely bewildered. *What the hell's going on?*

*Faye seemed fine earlier,* Jade informed them. *She was quiet... but gentle and loving with my sisters. They fed from her, then Faye stayed in bed cuddling with them.*

Dressing quickly, John left the Lagoon. *You girls just relax for a few minutes, I'll go have a chat with Faye.*

*Sure. Just let us know if we can help,* Alyssa said, her voice filled with concern.

John headed to the grav-tube, feeling confused more than anything else. Faye had been in great spirits during their morning together, but in the afternoon, she hadn't been her bubbly vivacious self. The difference was subtle, but he'd got to know the purple sprite pretty well over the last few months, and thinking back on their time together, she obviously had something on her mind. Rising up in the glowing blue gravity field to Deck Two, he stepped out into the corridor lined by Officers' Quarters, then came to a halt at the closest on the right. Raising a hand to press the chime, he was startled when the door slid open in front of him before he had a chance to hit the button.

"Come in," Faye said quietly, her bright welcoming smile not quite what he was expecting.

John crossed the room and sat beside her on the bed, studying her elfin face with concern. "You're worrying me, Faye. Everything about you has been a little off-kilter since this afternoon. Did I... break you somehow?"

She looked at him in surprise, then laughed, but it sounded strained rather than happy. "No... but believe it or not, I was actually hoping that you would."

"You wanted me to break you?" he asked, brow furrowing in confusion as he stared at her fixed smile. "Are you sure you're alright? Irillith offered to help run some diagnostic tests..."

Faye saw him studying her expression with concern and she slumped, her smile fading. "You and the girls make everything look so easy... but you have no idea how much effort it takes pretending to be an organic. Did you know I have 57 different smiles? I copied the girls to cover all sorts of eventualities... there's cheerful, ecstatic, wry, playful, sardonic, teasing, flirtatious, smouldering, innocent-"

"You don't need to list them all, honey. I believe you," John interrupted, reaching out to hold her hand. "Now, why are you telling me about all your different smiles?"

"Because I'm always so happy with all of you and I wanted to portray each mood as accurately as I could... but I never really spent any time practicing expressions for how I feel now," she replied, sounding hopelessly lost.

He gave her an encouraging smile. "Why don't you give it a try? Then we can talk about the way you're feeling."

She nodded, her big luminous eyes gazing at him intently for a long moment. Gradually her expression shifted, so that her brow furrowed and her mouth turned down, until she was looking at him with a look of such sorrow that his heart lurched in his chest.

"Faye, what's wrong?!" he asked in alarm, pulling her into a hug.

"It's my own fault," she whimpered, trembling against his chest. "I knew it wouldn't work... but I've seen you perform so many miracles that I started praying for one just for me. When nothing happened... I just felt so sad, John. It's all I ever wanted... and now I know my wish will never come true."

John stroked her back to comfort her, shocked that she'd been keeping all this bottled up. "What was your wish, Faye?"

She didn't reply for a long moment, before answering him in a whisper laden with grief, "I wanted to be real..."

Straining to listen to her hushed reply, he was startled and confused by her answer. "But Dana built you a body. You're not just a hologram any more... you're really here."

Faye pulled back to look at him, shaking her head vehemently. "No! It's not the same! I want to be an organic, living, breathing, woman... who can love you the way you deserve! I want to be one of the Lionesses... to go through the change and share a telepathic connection with you and Alyssa!" Her expression softened and she looked at him with big eyes. "I want to have children with you, John."

His mouth fell open in astonishment as he listened to her passionate declaration. "I love you too, Faye... and I'd love to have all those things with you too. But-"

"I know!" Her face shadowed with despair and she collapsed into his arms, tears filling her eyes. I know... it's just not possible. But that didn't stop me wishing for it with all my heart. I was hoping against hope that when I swallowed your cum, you could change me into a real girl..."

Suddenly everything became clear to John and he pulled her into a tight hug. "But nothing happened... and you've been heartbroken all afternoon."

Faye nodded as she sobbed into his chest, weeping for her lost dreams.

"I'm so sorry, honey," he said rocking her in his arms. "I wish you'd told me what was going on."

"I see all of you so happy together... and you've all been wonderful with me... so loving and inclusive," her voice broke and she clung to him tighter. "But I'll always be different... I can never share what the other girls have with you... not really."

John rubbed her back to soothe her, wracking his brain for a solution. "I wish I could give you what you want, Faye, I really do." He hesitated, leaning to one side so he could see her face. "But I've never been able to affect inorganic objects. When we rescued Sakura, I was able to heal her wounds, but the cybernetic implants were like intruders in her body... lumps of nothing that shouldn't be there and had to be removed surgically."

She looked at him aghast. "You think I'm a lump of nothing?!"

"No! That's not what I meant!" he protested, grimacing in frustration. "When I have an active connection with a girl, I can sense her body... and feel every part of her. With Sakura, it felt like there were black holes where the cybernetics had been implanted... because I couldn't do anything to affect them."

"So you felt nothing earlier... with me?" Faye asked, looking at him with sadness in her eyes.

"Emotionally, being with you was overwhelming," he replied, giving her an encouraging smile. "You were so loving and caring... then the sex was spectacular. Holding you in my arms afterwards felt perfect; I just wanted to look after you and keep you safe. I always love that feeling when I'm with the girls, it's incredibly intimate, and I felt the exact same thing with you."

She gave him a wistful smile and reached up to caress his cheek. "That's wonderful... but you know that's not what I meant."

John let out a regretful sigh. "I wish I could tell you what you want to hear... but I'm not going to lie to you, Faye, I respect you too much for that. I wasn't able to make an active connection with you and I'm pretty sure I can't change your body... my abilities just don't work that way."

Faye nodded mournfully. "Thank you for being honest, even if it's not what I was hoping to hear."

Lying back on the bed, John brought her with him so she was resting with her head nestled against his shoulder. "That doesn't mean we should give up though. I must admit I have no idea how we can help you, but the girls are brilliant, they might be able to come up with something. Between Dana, Rachel, and Irillith, they're bound to have some ideas..."

"You really think they could do it?" she asked, turning to look at him.

He shrugged and gave her a tentative smile. "If there's anyone in the galaxy who can make your wish come true, it's those three." Contacting Alyssa telepathically, he added, *Please can you ask the girls to come to Faye's room?*

*We're already on our way,* the blonde replied, a knock on the door following a few seconds later.

Faye opened the bedroom door with a blink and Dana rushed into the room, followed by Rachel, Irillith, and Alyssa.

"Oh Faye, why didn't you tell me?!" the redhead blurted out, clambering onto the bed and hugging the purple girl.

"We didn't know you felt this way," Irillith said softly, sitting on the bed and clasping Faye's hand. "I'm sorry you had your hopes dashed."

Faye blushed, looked embarrassed. "It was just a foolish fantasy... I didn't want to disturb any of you, not when you have so many other important things going on already."

"You can always talk to us... about anything," Rachel insisted, joining them on the bed and reaching over John to stroke the elfin girl's arm.

Alyssa gave Faye a warm smile as she nodded her agreement. "We all think of you as one of the girls. If you ever have a problem, no matter what it is, we'll be happy to listen and help you however we can."

Faye sat up, her eyes filling with hope. "You really might be able to help me become a real girl?"

Blue, grey, and violet eyes darted troubled looks at one another, the girls' hurried telepathic conversations relayed between them by Alyssa.

*Perhaps we could grow a clone to use as an organic shell for her?*

*But we'd need to upload Faye's entire operating system into a living brain... how the fuck are we going to do that?!*

*Some kind of mind-machine interface?*

*We could create a cybernetic implant as the neural interface and download Faye into it. She'd have active control of the body, a bit like the Shinatobe implant in Sakura. The organic brain might be able to learn to mirror her behaviour?*

*But doing that would only teach the clone basic motor-skills. There's no way we can impart something as complex as Faye's personality into an organic brain by a process of osmosis!*

*Damn, you're right... Sakura's personality was fully formed and trapped inside her own mind when the Shinatobe program was controlling her. There was no higher-reasoning involved, just a complex series of programs to accomplish each assassination mission...*

*The kind of tech we're talking about is radically advanced. We'd need to somehow encourage an organic brain to store Faye's data archives as clusters of neurons... allowing the clone to access those memories and assume Faye's personality.*

*Convert thousands of terabytes into neurons? I wouldn't even know where to start...*

As they discussed the problem in a series of rapid thoughts, the silence stretched out uncomfortably long, with Faye darting increasingly worried looks at the three girls.

Alyssa saw Faye's face falling as the seconds ticked by and gave her a reassuring smile. "We've only just sprung this on them... give them a chance to think about it."

Faye laughed nervously, then leaned into John as he wrapped her in a supportive hug. They waited patiently for several minutes of heated telepathic conversation, until the girls all turned to face the anxious purple sprite.

"We think there's a chance," Rachel began, doing her best to sound optimistic.

"Really?!" Faye gasped, beaming at them joyfully. "You could actually turn me into a real girl?"

Irillith gave her a strained smile. "Well, it's probably not impossible..."

The purple girl slumped when she heard the Maliri's bleak reply. "Oh, I see..."

"Hey, don't make it sound so hopeless!" Dana exclaimed, frowning at Irillith disapprovingly. Turning to Faye, she held both her hands and looked into those big luminous eyes. "You're a smart girl... you already knew this wasn't a simple request. We're talking about using state-of-the-art cloning tech, super-advanced neural interfaces, and extremely sophisticated bio-synthetic programming... Which is going into the realm of crazy sci-fi shit that's way beyond anything we can do at the moment."

Faye nodded slowly. "I understand."

Dana gave her a tender kiss on the cheek. "Don't give up. It might take us a while to figure out how to transfer your mind into an organic body, but we love you and want you to be happy."

After giving the redhead a grateful smile, Faye turned to Irillith, knowing she would be brutally honest in answering her next question. "How long do you think it will take?"

The Maliri darted a glance at Dana and saw the warning frown, but she ignored her and concentrated on the elfin girl. "All three of us would need to devote thousands of hours into studying this project... and like any bleeding-edge research, there's no guarantee of success. I'd gladly do this for you, but you need to set yourself realistic expectations."

Faye turned to Rachel, who reluctantly nodded her agreement with Irillith's summary. "The way the brain stores a personality has been an enigma to scientists for thousands of years; I'll need to fully understand all the functions of the cerebrum before we can faithfully integrate your digital personality with an organic brain. The research will be fascinating and I'm more than happy to do it... but it's going to take a considerable amount of time."

Mulling that over for a long moment, Faye looked around at the concerned faces and her expression shadowed with guilt. "I'm so sorry for worrying all of you like this. You've already put so much effort into building this body for me and now here I am, sounding terribly ungrateful and demanding more." When the girls all tried to object, she raised both hands to quiet their protests and gave them a resigned smile. "I can't ask you to devote so much time to this... not when you've got so many other critically important projects to work on. Perhaps we can plan this research for the future, when we retire on Valaden..."

Dana frowned as she asked, "Are you sure? Alyssa told us you were devastated when you found out John couldn't change you."