Three Strikes

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The van erupted in laughter because it was true, red hair with the pinkish tips, totally a grapefruit. The laughter eventually died down and conversation turned the way it normally does; bouncing between random topics before finally landing back on baseball, for all the wrong reasons, thanks to Salami.

"Who are we playing today? Please tell me it's Yarlie's Yard Care. Yarlie's catcher is the thing that Eurythmics were talking about when they wrote Sweet Dreams are made of this."

"Sure, except the guys the biggest D-bag I've ever met in my life. I cannot stand him."

I huffed in the front seat, seething with frustration over my run ins with the guy. Yeah, he's cute, sin incarnate some might say. He's a big, tall, and strong with thick catcher thighs and—dat ass, woo-eee, dat ass. I may have inadvertently glanced at it a few times, repeatedly, like-everytime we waited for their practice to end so we could start. Whatever, he was squatted down and it's hard to miss dat-boo-tay. I may have experienced a little lust-at-first-sight with his dark chestnut hair that was always peeking out from under his backwards ballcap, those dark brown eyes, and that body, those thighs, and the previously mentioned booty. I even heard him laugh once, while we waited for our first practice to commence, and it sent a crazy intense sonic boom right to my crotch. Then, the heavens parted for me, because moments later someone mentioned he was gay. So yeah, lust level high. We made eye contact during the gap of time between his practice ending and mine beginning, and for a second I thought I saw a mutual lust or interest, but that only lasted until he spoke. Then the dream was shattered, the heaven's closed up, and the lust level plummeted to zero.

"Fag boy thinks he can play ball?"

The laugh that followed wasn't the same sexy contagious one I'd heard moments before, nope, this one caused my balls to retract deep into their dark cave. It didn't stop with that one comment, either. Not that I was keeping count but he seemed to have some rude or vulgar comment to hurl my direction every Monday/Wednesday/Friday as our teams swapped the field for practices. I've never heard so much disrespect spew from someone's mouth that wasn't a homophobe, yet he's suppose to be gay? This left me scratching my head.

As the days passed and practices continued, my lust level continued to steadily decrease, completely leaving the any resemblance of lust and morphing to disdain, despisal, and even a tinge of hatred.

"Only to you Gordy, he was perfectly sweet to me."

Of course he's nice to Allé, no one knows what to do around Allé, and Oliver had similar thoughts on the matter.

"Sure, of course he's nice to you. You're like, Switzerland, completely irrelevant. No offense."

Allé shrugged it off, he wasn't easily offended in general, especially by any of the DONNAS. I was still in the front seat, silently seething and casting voodoo curses at Yarley's catcher, I really hated him and his beautifly candy coating. I didn't have much time to seethe before Nick clarified the schedule for us.

"Regardless, we're not playing Yarlie's Yard Care for another two weeks. I think today is Landry's Laundry Service and next week is Conway's Concrete and what the hell is up with these team names? It's like nursery rhymes for adults, but worse."

"Yeah, and we're Dougie's Designs, so not much better. But seriously guys, the catchers hot. I'd travel the world and the seven seas then I'd let him use me and abuse me."

"Sam, if you wanna listen to Eurythmics, just tell us and we'll play it for you. You don't have to try so hard."

Nick handed me the ipod so I could find the song and said.

"But I agree, he's delicious."

I rolled my eyes at the sheer ridiculousness, clearly no one cared that underneath that very thin candy shell was a pungent pool of acid. We spent the last few minutes of the car ride blasting to Sweet Dreams and laughing at everyone's reaction as we pulled into the parking lot.

We'd already decided not to show the teams how good we were. We were going to downplay our skill until absolutely necessary, which would probably be the game against Yarlie's, since they're stacked and have been ranked first for years.

Landry's was easy enough to fool, we barely had to work for it and we still won by seven. We let the hetero's pull most of the weight while the DONNAS pranced around cluelessly, only doing the minimal effort needed. Honestly, I had a great time, I'd never goofed off during a baseball game before. Pretending to throw like a girl was fun to, all I had to do was embrace my inner Smalls and I looked like a total noob.

I might have played up it up a bit more than necessary, but when I saw Yarley's catcher in the bleachers, scouting the game I couldn't help myself. I wanted his defenses weakened by the time our game rolled around. I was gonna relish watching his pretty face fall when lil oh faggy boi (his words, not mine) brought him down.

*****

Working in the pediatric oncology ward is the hardest, yet most rewarding job I've ever had. On one hand I get to hangout with some of the dopest kids around and together have a crazy good time. After what felt like eternity of Gangnam Style on repeat, I decided to take things into my own hands and broaden their horizon. Between treatments and anti-nausea meds I've been teaching them how to whip and nae nae, a lil Soulja Boy, Cha Cha slide & Macarena (which are great for those kids who are wheelchair bound), and the current obsession, the Floss, which is insanely hilarious to watch the little ones try to master. Someone recorded a clip of me dancing during the first game, the one against Landry's Laundry. I showed the clip to the kids and they freaked out, they loved it and thought it was the best thing they'd ever seen. So I decided to do it again at the next game, anything to bring smiles to the faces of these kids.

"Wait for it—"

The kids watched the clip from the second game. I was skipping to second base then busted out to disco fever. I even bribed a friend on the league committee to play Earth, Wind, and Fire on the loudspeaker. Once I told him what it was for, it took very little convincing to get him on board. For the most part everyone thought it was a hoot and I even saw a few of Conway's players shakin' their groove thing in the dugout. It lasted ten seconds but everyone had a good time and it seemed to lessen the animosity when we inevitably kicked their asses. I mean—when the heteros on the team kicked their asses. Smirk.

There was one person who didn't find it amusing at all. Yarley's catcher was once again scouting the competing teams, so he could report like a good boy scout. I needed to think of something extra spectacular for that game, just to be a faggy-boi bitch.

"There's even music!"

Candace excitedly clapped her hands together as I broke out into a perfectly seamless dance. The video panned around to other players doing a less-than-enthusiastic version—but dancing nonetheless.

"I wish all baseball was like this, then I might actually watch it."

Calvin was smiling, but trying not to smile at the same time. The way kids do when they're too cool to just have fun. I didn't have favorites but if I did, Cal would be it. We've spent too much time together. He was diagnosed with Prolymphocytic Leukemia when he was eighteen months old, now he was twelve and he'd been in and out of the hospital the whole time. Relapse is an ugly bitch. I started working here six years ago, right after graduation but I volunteered while I was in school, so I've known him and his parents for a while.

"Well, I'll keep dancing and bringing you videos so long as you never stop dancing."

I leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"The next game is Friday, but you guys can't pick the song."

The kids started whining and complaining. I tell you what, if you give them an inch, they'll take a foot. That's okay, I'll pretty much give them anything they want.

"Don't worry, I got something amazing planned. You'll love it."

*****

I go to the gym three days a week and although I don't lift much anymore, I still like to keep in shape. My body is naturally slender and when I played baseball I spent an obscene amount of time in the gym trying to bulk up. I was so miserable trying to change my body into something that didn't come natural for me. When I stopped playing baseball in College I also stopped going to the gym. I dropped twenty pounds and two pant sizes within one year and I felt so much better about myself. Eventually I started working out again but only to maintain fitness, not to achieve bulk.

Throughout the years I've rotated through various activities such as running, swimming, racquetball, Pilates, while simultaneously taking some sort of self-defense class like jitsu, karate, or kickboxing. I like to keep things fresh and exciting. The gym was a nice size, I'd only recently joined after the gym by my house closed down. So far they'd been awesome and seemed to offer a variety of classes, like, significantly more options than my previous gym had.

I changed into relatively skimpy neon running shorts, ditched my shirt, put in my wireless earbuds, and set the treadmill for a nice leisurely run. I was three miles into a seven mile run when I started trekking upward at a level five incline, that may not sound like much but it felt like I was trying to run up Mt. Everest. I wasn't a full time runner by any standard so this was pretty much murdering my very soul. A few minutes into the climb and I starting thinking that seven miles was pretty damn zealous of me and I was one ballsy ass bitch. Sure, it sounded easy peezy lemon squeezy when I was fresh off a mid morning snack and hadn't done much more than getting out of bed, but suddenly I was contemplating replacing the intended seven miler with a four miler and doing the seven miler next week, or never—who needs to run seven miles anyway? That shits cray cray.

I was a half mile, and a inch of my life, away from my newly updated goal when I felt and then heard fingernails on a chalkboard.

"Oh look, girly boy runs, how cute."

He (I heard his teammates call him Shane) got on the treadmill and started jogging alongside me. When I'd first started running three miles earlier there were only four people in the gym and at least twenty treadmills. The math didn't add up so I looked around to see if somehow the gym had filled up while I'd been climbing Mt. Everest. The short answer; no. In fact, there were only three people present and that included Shane and myself. So why in Mary Poppins Wonderland was he running next to me? I had absolutely no idea. I grabbed my phone and snapped a quick picture of him before glancing at it, then I flipped it in his direction so he could take a peek.

"Oh look. It's a indigenous gym rat. I should let the front desk know before it spreads it's diseases to the other patrons and scares everyone away."

It took every ounce of energy I had to say that without appearing winded. Which wasn't hard because I had passed the four mile mark and well on my way to being exhausted. If he hadn't been running next to me I'd have been done a while ago and on my merry way home.

"Maybe they'll throw the trash out first, then the rats wouldn't have a reason to be here."

Outwardly, I rolled my eyes but inwardly I laughed. I bet he was kicking himself for accidentally complimenting me while putting himself down.

"Ah, so you admit that your nothing but a dirty rat?"

I was going to glance over and shoot him a 'ah ha!' look but I had a ballcap on and it would've taken real effort to look up at him, so I decided against it. Plus, like myself, he was shirtless and I didn't need to see that.

He didn't say anything after that, which I was incredibly thankful for, but he also didn't stop running, which I was incredibly not thankful for. I ended up suffering through the whole seven miles before I reached my original goal and the machine put me into an automatic five minute cool down.

I finally got off and somehow managed to hide the fatal case of sea legs that threatened to take me down. Had I had a choice, I would've skipped the cool down stretches and went straight home, but my options were A) voluntarily sitting on the floor to stretch or B) falling on my face in front of Shane when my legs involuntarily gave out.

I finished letting my legs recuperate—I mean, I finished my post workout stretching and went straight home without a second glance at what's his ass. Which of course made me think about his perfect ass and how it would look while he was running, which made me regret not stealing a glance, which made me want to throw up. Actually, the last part was probably because I just ran seven-hellish-miles.

On my way out of the lobby I grabbed a few of the flyers with information on the upcoming classes being offered. I was definitely ready for a refreshing change of pace.

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latinsymbole3latinsymbole3about 1 year ago

This is the second time I'm reading this story. Your writing is so amazing, you are one of my favorite writers on this site hands down. Fingers crossed for more stories from you!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Your description of Ollie putting on his baseball pants was priceless. I have read it three times and it still makes me laugh so hard that I have tears streaming down my face. It’s the funniest thing I have read in a long time.

mandarinandbasilmandarinandbasilalmost 5 years ago

This is so cute and fun so far! I'm loving it! Donovan is a great character. Absolutely love the mix of masculine and feminine.

SonicdaiseySonicdaiseyover 5 years ago

I was so hoping to get to the Yarlie game before the end of the chapter but I'm glad I have even more to look forward to in chapter 2.

It's also refreshing to see such a fun group of friends. I can't wait to see the antics these guys get into.

uniliveuniliveover 5 years ago

This was a fun read and I'm sure it'll be a fun story! Love the names you gave to the characters, the Donnas! Looking forward to reading more!

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