Time & Again

Don and Debby sat nervously in the hypnotherapist's waiting room. They were lucky to be seeing Halley; she was one of the most renowned past lives therapists/psychics in the country and it was difficult just to get a personal appointment with her. When she wasn't traveling and giving seminars--and that wasn't often--she was always booked solid. But a friend of a friend of a friend managed to squeeze the couple in. They desperately needed the appointment. Both were in their late thirties and both had spent their lives suffering from episodes of depression and severe panic attacks. Now it was affecting their marriage, even though they loved each other more than anything. Trips to other hypno-therapists had produced only sketchy images of the lives they had before this one. It was like having a box of glass shards from a broken picture window, with some pieces providing a glimpse of what once was, but also with most sections too small to be pieced together again.

A door opened and a beautiful woman emerged, dressed flamboyantly but not oddly. The three exchanged introductions and Halley led them into her "office," a spacious room furnished with comfortable, luxuriant chairs and decorated in soft, relaxing colors set off by candlelight. The unmistakable scent of marijuana could be faintly detected. Don and Debby sat together on a couch and Halley pulled up a chair facing them. They discussed the couple's situation in more detail, particularly the grainy, momentary memories that had been brought up in visits to previous therapists. Halley was unable to make real sense of any of them, though it seemed to all three that the memories were from a relatively recent period of history.

"I want to try something that neither of you have done before," Halley told them. "I want to put you both under at the same time. Perhaps if you enter the world of the subconscious together you will better be able to peel away the layers that separate your current lives from your previous ones. I have tried this before with couples and it seemed to work very well."

Debby and Don gave each other questioning looks, then agreed. Both had been through past-life regression sessions before and were aware that the dangers were minimal. Halley lit a stick of incense and instructed her clients to lie back on the couch, close their eyes, and relax completely. Then she turned on a tape recorder and started talking to them in a very soothing voice, helping them find their centers, then guiding them as they moved outwards from those places...

DEBBY I'm Jonathan Miller and I was born in Mississippi in 1899. It's 1924 now and I run a feed and farm supply store. My two brothers and I inherited this place from our father; he died of that flu back in '18.

I stand a hair over six feet and am very muscular, with red hair and a mustache. I am considered a very handsome man and many ladies want me to court them. Both of my brothers took wives and they're always wondering why I haven't married. I try to avoid the subject, and when I can't I just tell 'em that I'm waiting for a real love. What they don't know is that I already got one, and it hurts me knowing that I can't share that with them.

DON I'm Charles, Charles Washington. It's 1924 and I'm 30. I live in the same house where I grew up in Mississippi. We're real poor. I'm a farmhand and my sister cleans houses for rich white folks. We give our money to our parents; they damn near died from that flu a few years back and haven't been able to work since.

I'm very tall and strong, perfect for doing heavy work and the white farmer I work for gives me plenty. My body aches at the end of the day, but if it weren't for me doing all this shit work I might never have met my love. Jonathan is one of the few white folks who'll let Negroes even come into his feed store, and I have to go in there at least once a week. His brothers don't like that much but they don't spend a lot of time there, which is real good because I don't know what would happen if anyone ever found out about Jonathan and me.

DEBBY/JONATHAN It's late night and I sneak out of the house and back to the store. I got something awful bad to tell Charles. My brothers went to a Klan meeting a couple of days ago and they wanted me to come with them to the one that was tonight. I could tell they were real mad when I lied and said I was too tired. They said I was a nigger-lover and no brother of theirs was gonna be a nigger-lover. The Klan don't just hate the Negros. They hate a lot of other folks, too. And they really hate the homosexuals. They say we're gonna burn in Hell for our perversions.

DON/CHARLES I make sure my parents and sister are sound asleep before I sneak out. One time my Mamma heard me and if I weren't so big now I would've gotten a lickin' from her. There's been some lynchings of Negros lately; the Klan is in our town now, she told me. It ain't too safe for colored folk to walk around late at night. Some white man might try to say that I was breaking into his house and the police would back him up all the way. I'm just happy she didn't ask me where I was going. My Mamma knows that I'm different because one time she caught me and a fella that don't live around here no more messin' around in the cellar. But she won't say nothing to my Pa or my sister.

DEBBY/JONATHAN I hear the back door of my store creaking and I run to see my Charles. It's been almost a week since we last got together and I forget my fears long enough to throw my arms around him. I love the way his body feels against mine, his skin and that manly smell that's uniquely his. My brothers say that the coloreds aren't really men, but I can tell you that Charles is all man and I can feel his dick rising up in his pants right now. But I pull away to look at him and he asks me what's wrong. I cry as I tell him about my brothers.

DON/CHARLES I can feel my heart drop down to my guts. I know Jonathan's brothers really hate me already and I'll maybe be one of their targets. I can't let them do anything to Jonathan. I know I should just leave him be from now on, but I can't and he can't leave me be, either. We both had sex with other men before but it was never like what he and me have now.

I see the pain in Jonathan's eyes and the love inside me wells up. I want to make all this go away, even if not for very long. I pull Jonathan back against me and kiss him with all the love in my heart. My dick got soft when Jonathan told me the news but when I feel him near me it stands up straight again. I undo my trousers and put Jonathan's hand on me. I love the way his white skin looks against my black stick, and I get Jonathan out of his trousers and yank on his cock, too.

DEBBY/JONATHAN It feels so good to wank off Charles and have him wank me off, but I'm ready for more now. I get down on my knees and push back his foreskin so I can lick the pre-cum off his piss slit. I've always been kinda jealous of his cock; he has nine inches and mine is only about seven, but he seems to like mine good enough. I take his whole cock down my throat, all the way to the balls, and Charles moans. I bob up and down on his dick and he runs his hands through my hair, telling me how good it feels. Then me and him get down on the floor with our faces in each others' crotches. I feel him sucking my balls and I put my mouth back on his dick.

DON/CHARLES This is pure Heaven. Me and Jonathan are in our own little world and he's the only one I care about having there, anyway. He's sucking me real good but he backs off whenever he knows I need a moment to collect myself. Both me and him want me to put my dick in his ass, but first I need to make my lover cum. After I tease his nuts, I move up. I slowly pull back the foreskin, then tongue his piss slit until he's begging me to suck him. I take him all the way in; I love the way he tastes! My head is going up and down so fast I know I'll have a crick in my neck later! But it's worth it 'cause Jonathan is moaning real loud now and I feel his cock twitch right before it starts spraying. I enjoy the taste of his cum going through my mouth and down my throat. I let him relax for a minute, then it's my turn.

DEBBY/JONATHAN I still can't believe how good sex feels, especially with Charles. I get up on all fours and Charles gets behind me. He leans down and pulls my ass cheeks apart so he can get in there with his tongue and grease me up. Ahhhh, that feels GREAT! I can hear him moaning as he licks my asshole and shoves his tongue in as far as it will go. I'm ready for something bigger and I tell him that.

DON/CHARLES I cry out as my dick slides into Jonathan's ass and disappears all the way. I start out real slow and that makes both of us crazy real fast. We start humping like a couple of farm animals in heat and I can hear my balls slapping Jonathan's ass each time I dive in. He's so damn tight and warm that I can't hold myself in any more.

DEBBY/JONATHAN Charles lets loose and I feel his warm juice fill my ass. We collapse right there on the floor, with Charles' dick still in my ass. I'm thinking that maybe he and me should run away somewhere, maybe to California where I heard things are a little better for folks like us. I start talking about that to Charles and he thinks maybe that would be best, go somewhere where no one knows us.

We hear shouting outside and jump up, more fucking scared than I think either of us has ever been. We grab our pants but all of a sudden the door fucking gets kicked down and so many fucking lights are shined on us we can't see nothing.

DON/CHARLES I've never seen the Klan up close, but that's the first thing I see once I can see again. There must be a dozen of them in white costumes and carrying flashlights and torches and all kinds of shit. Two of 'em flip back their hoods and they are fucking Jonathan's brothers! I thought maybe at least they would let Jonathan go but they're screaming at him and saying that he's not their brother anymore, that he's a fucking homo and a nigger-lover and that God will punish him. They got their clubs ready and I try to stop them, but somebody else hits me from behind and I can't fight off five men beating and kicking me all at once till I just can't move anywhere.

DEBBY/JONATHAN They beat us bloody. My own brothers beat me bloody. They're saying, "You and your nigger boyfriend were breaking into the store and desecrating it with acts against nature."

They tie us up and take us out to a clearing and I see them putting the nooses and milk crates up. Charles and me are beaten so bad we can't barely stand on them boxes, but they hold us up anyway so we can see them burning their crosses. They're spitting on me and him and telling us we're going straight to Hell for what we done.

DON/CHARLES

I can't barely think no more but I think about my Mamma and my Pa and my sister and I hope they can be strong and for my Pa not to cry. I know Jonathan and me ain't going to Hell. It's the people doing shit like this that's gonna burn in Hell, not people like me and Jonathan who ain't never done nothing bad to nobody. We love each other and we'll be together in the next life, I feel that. Jonathan's brothers spit in his face and I can't look but I hear them kick the box out from under his feet. Then I hear them kick mine...

Debby woke up at the sound of the CLAP, gasping for air, her heart threatening to jump out of her chest. She looked over at Don and noticed that he was white as a ghost and clutching his neck. "Relax. Relax. You're not there anymore," Halley said quietly. "You're safe, you're back in 1999."

Halley rewound the tape and played it for the couple, who listened intently. They were shocked at first, but then both felt chills creep up their spines as they heard themselves talk, in perfect Southern dialects, about things that immediately seemed like memories that were long forgotten. The shards of their flashbacks had been made whole again, and their current lives seemed to finally make sense, the panic attacks they both suffered that felt like lumps in their throats, the feelings of being outsiders and the empathy they had for those who were societal outcasts just because they were different, Debby's fear of fire and Don's recurring nightmare about being pursued by faceless attackers. Halley told them they would need more sessions. They would need to go back to the moment of their souls' previous hosts' deaths again, this time while conscious that it is something they were only watching, something that happened long ago and something they need to let go of before the panic attacks and the depression would stop.

"So," Halley asked, "do you have any other questions before you go today?"

"Just one," said Debby. "How is it that we were gay in our last lives, but we're both straight now?"

"As you probably know, souls come back together. You are two of a group of souls who have spent what is probably many lifetimes together. Sometimes two friends will come back as siblings, or siblings as business partners, but if two souls love each other very much, they will likely love each other in every life. The bodies they occupy are irrelevant. It looks like your previous hosts were both born gay, but even if one hadn't been born gay, or neither had been, when you met your souls would have led you into a gay relationship. And when you leave this life, in the next one you will meet and love again."

Debby and Don thanked Halley, made another appointment, and drove home together in near-silence. Halley's words about love being truly eternal, transcending even death, were very comforting. As soon as they shut their front door, they collapsed on their knees and held each other. "Charles," Debby finally said, the name feeling very right when it rolled off her tongue.

"Jonathan," Don whispered with a smile. "I can't believe it."

They embraced and wept, though this time their tears were of joy.