Time Smut Ch. 10

"We need to get a bubble tooth implant so we can be protected from the crushing vacuum of space when we fly naked through the galaxy... I'm getting one with a cup holder... do you want the cup holder option?"

"What? ...No, a vacuum cup holder? I don't understand."

"See I told you... you should have just eaten the cheese."

James followed her through the door and the receptionist asked, "How can I help you?"

Mary smiled and shook her hand, "Hi my name is Mary and this is James, We just need a bubble tooth installed."

"Oh, ok well that's no problem; we just had a cancellation and can fit you in right away if you have time."

"Ha!" Mary laughed, "James did you hear that? If we have the time she said!"

James giggled, "Time is the only thing we do have." He was super happy to use cheesy cliché time travel jokes.

The receptionist scribbled a bunch of nonsense on some papers and handed them over for the couple to sign, "Can I interest you in the gold series platinum upgrade? It comes with a luxurious cup holder."

"Ooo, yeah, I'll take that!" Mary wiggled her eyebrows at a luxurious picture of a cup-holder. "James are you sure you don't want the upgrade?"

"Mary, I have never seen you hold a cup or drink anything at all, why would you possibly need something like that?"

"Fine," she said incredulously, "Just don't ask me to hold your beverage when we are flying naked through the cold vacuum of space."

James just nodded agreeing to whatever.

Mary smiled at the receptionist "We'll take one base model and one luxury package please."

"Ok, one base model... one luxury... and how would you like to pay for that?"

Mary grabbed her scanner "Umm... do you accept comically large cartoon third party checks from the distant past?"

Mary ejected an unmanageably large cartoon check from the scanner, it had Black peppers name on it but it was scratched out and Mary's name was poorly written underneath, and in the memo it said, "FOR SUCKING DICK!!"

Mary handed it to the receptionist, and with that the transaction was complete.

They sat in separate chairs and with few words the dentist quickly got to work yanking out one of James back teeth. He screamed and writhed in pain when the dentist replaced it with a strange metal tooth.

"See, I told you, you should have eaten the cheese," Mary said calmly as the dentist approached her with the scary tooth puller. He yanked hers out and replaced it with no pain at all.

When the procedure was finished James gave the dentist a dirty look and held the side of his face as they left the little shop.

Mary ejected two cans of soda from the scanner and handed one to James "Ok, let's give it a try, just click the bubble tooth together three times like this."

She clicked her teeth and a transparent green bubble instantly formed around her and she floated a few inches above the ground.

James was amazed by Mary's cool bubble and clicked his teeth, not surprisingly he instantly found himself in a bubble of his own, but his was slowly spinning and he got stuck upside down.

"MARY! HELP!" He yelled while he helplessly hung in the air.

Mary laughed, "You have to do like a cartoon running thing like this!" She demonstrated and ran around in the bubble like some type of indestructible hamster ball.

"Here, do a big jump like this!" She yelled right before her and her bubble shot up in the sky.

James did a big jump and his bubble launched from the face of the planet and blasted through the atmosphere until he was floating next to Mary in the cold vacuum of space.

She smiled and opened her soda while they gazed upon the little blue marble.

James was breathless at the majesty of what he was seeing... but the otherworldly moment would be disrupted as soon as he opened that soda.

"Mary this is just amazing!" James yelled through the inky blackness of space. "How long can we stay up here... is there enough air in the bubble?"

He tapped the side and even though it was made of a thin transparent material the tap sounded like he was hitting a thick wall of steel.

"You can stay in there forever... that's kind of what the bubble was designed for... an emergency." She said as she put her soda in the luxurious cup holder.

James couldn't be happier, just flying through space without a care in the world until he popped open his soda.

It let out a little hiss and without any gravity to hold the liquid in the can it sprayed James in the face and left little sticky drops all over James bubble.

Mary burst out laughing and smugly rested her drink in the cup holder of the luxury model.

James was getting pelted with sticky blobs of carbonated fun and was already sick of the space bubble.

Mary showed James how to direct the bubble back to the planet, it involved a difficult to describe upside down jump.

He floated around with his soda while it fell from space at an unbelievable speed, and when they reached the ground Mary clicked her teeth three times and her bubble disappeared.

James did the same and he was standing in the street with a little fizzy puddle around his feet.

"Mary, why did you make me take a soda up there?" James asked annoyed.

Mary held his hand, "Because you wouldn't eat the cheese, and you wouldn't get the luxury model... look, you don't have to listen to me... but you probably should." She smiled sweetly and hugged his arm.

James wasn't happy that Mary was one hundred percent right, but he did quietly decide to just do what she says from then on out.

They walked hand in hand through the depressing beige little town until they reached Mary's UFO space car, it was parked on the side of the road just hovering next to a parking meter with a ticket stuck to the side.

"AWW MAN!" She yelled and tried to scrape the glue off.

The little stairs magically formed and they crawled inside the tiny ship.

Mary piloted the machine up into the sky and as soon as they were in the cold comfort of space she flipped on the auto pilot.

James was rewinding the simulation earth and watching the little people devolve.

"This little planet is so cute!" He smiled as he let it move forward again and little Neanderthals built little mud huts.

James was having a strange deja-vu moment and for some reason he felt the back pocket of his ugly shorts... but it was empty.

"Mary seemed annoyed." "Well it may be cute but it's not helping us at all." She picked up the box containing the tiny blue planet and carelessly tossed it in the closet with a bunch of other discarded tiny planets.

"MARY!" James scolded and carefully scooped up the tiny box from the garbage pile and protected it.

She slumped into the pillow pile and watched the stars zoom by while she thought of a plan.

"So how do you pass the time up here?" James asked while he nibbled her ear.

"Well... we could fuck... or we could just use the scanner to speed up time, or I have some glasses in the closet we could hang out in the zone for a little while." Mary gave him a few different options.

James hated everything about the zone and was getting increasingly frustrated at Mary's love for it.

"Mary I hate the zone," He complained. "Nothing is real and that sweet tea girl made me do all of her yard work."

Mary just laughed, "Oh James, that's because you were playing a yard-work simulator."

Her explanation and disregard of his worries didn't make him feel any better.

"I just prefer to live in reality." He explained while they hurled through space in the little spaceship.

Mary rolled her eyes at James constant concern for reality. "Okay James, I want to show you a little experiment." She pranced over to the second closet and when she opened the door James was startled by two lifeless aliens hanging on hooks in the back.

She rummaged around the messy little space closet for a moment before producing two pairs of glasses and the signature Zone underwear.

"MARY!" James screamed and pointed at the lifeless alien guys on hooks, "WHAT ARE THOSE?"

She just giggled at his concern. "Those are just little worker bots we send into hostile areas instead of going in person... it's for safety.

She grabbed one of the rubbery creatures and tossed it on the floor before slipping the glasses on her head. As soon as she put them on the creature sprang to life and perfectly mimicked her movements.

"See, the zone is fun, it's nothing to be scared of," She said while she danced around with the silly alien.

James was still not convinced he approved of a tool that was designed to ignore reality. "I don't know... I think I prefer reality, even with weird alien dancing the zone seems scary."

Mary slipped off the glasses and the alien fell lifelessly to the ground, she again rolled her eyes even more dramatically than the last time.

"Okay, James... first off, it doesn't matter what you approve of, and if there is only one reality and millions of simulations what are the chances you would be lucky enough to live in a real reality... since it is such a scarce resource.

"Well... I came from reality..." James reasoned, "and if none of this is real why would we work so hard to save a nonexistent galaxy?"

"Well okay, say this is just a simulation, and you don't really need to complete the mission, what would you do differently?"

James thought about it for a moment, but couldn't come up with a good answer.

Mary insisted he answer her question, "What... would you have more sex? Would you go on fantastic adventures? Would you finally be able to live a consequence-free life?"

James just looked at her blankly.

"Okay... say this whole thing was a simulation, why would you not still try to accomplish the mission that was presented to you... if it's just a game, why wouldn't you just play the game?"

"But if it's not real than what's the point?"

Mary was growing increasingly frustrated, "but before I came along when you were sure of your precious reality, all you did was eat junk food and play Nintendo... why does any of that matter?"

James could kind of see her point but still wasn't prepared to admit that reality didn't matter.

Mary could see that she wasn't getting through to him and she was sick and tired of trying to explain it.

"James put these on; I need to show you something." She handed him the glasses and he begrudgingly put them on.

Through the lenses, nothing seemed out of place. "Okay, how does it look?" She asked as she waved her hand in front of his face.

"It looks normal... I don't think they are turned on."

"No, they're working... is everything real?" She asked smugly.

James knew not to doubt her godlike friend but everything looked the same with or without the glasses. "Yes, it's real." He said absolutely sure this was the case.

"Okay, so if you're so sure it's real why don't you put these glasses on?" She handed him a second pair of glasses.

When James tried to remove the first pair of glasses he was shocked to find they were no longer on his head.

"Wait... am I already in the zone?" He asked before slipping the new glasses on his nose.

The lenses were clear and nothing looked out of place, he looked at Mary and she was holding another pair.

She didn't say anything, she just smiled and did some comical eyebrow-raising silently insisting he tries on yet another pair.

James did as instructed and again the pair he was already wearing disappeared before the new ones slid up his nose.

In a blink, everything was rewound just a few minutes and Mary was back to dancing with the alien.

"See, the zone is fun; it's nothing to be scared of." She said while she danced around with the silly creature.

James was losing track of reality and he knew that was exactly what Mary intended.

"Here, just try on the glasses one time and ill prove that reality doesn't matter." Mary smiled.

James cautiously took the glasses and without even checking he knew the ones he was wearing were already gone.

He slowly put them on and was instantly transported to a familiar messy living room; he took a glance at the piles of junk around him.

James was in a pair of boxers and had one black sock pulled up to his knee and the other foot was bare. The Saturday newspaper was sitting next to him on the stained couch and he saw a pack of frozen hotdogs thawing in the sink.

He started to panic as he read the headline in the paper, 'soup at the local restaurant too hot, local residents say.'

It wasn't so much the boring headline that caused him to panic; it was the overwhelming sense of boredom and despair that loomed over him like a dense fog.

James scrambled around trying to put the glasses back on as quickly as possible and when he did he was instantly back in the safety of the spaceship with the stars zooming above his head.

"Here... put these on." Mary smiled and handed him another pair of glasses.

"No! Mary, I'm done... am I in the zone right now or not?"

"Yup, you're in the zone." She smiled. "Take the glasses off to exit.

"But I put like three different pairs on... how many layers deep am I in here?"

Simulated Mary just smiled blankly and shrugged.

He slowly removed the glasses and found himself back in front of Mary while she danced.

"See, the zone is fun; it's nothing to be scared of." She said as she danced around with the silly alien.

"MARY! AM I IN THE ZONE RIGHT NOW?" James demanded.

She was shocked by his panic, but she knew she had to tell him the truth. "James... I'll tell you if you can answer one question."

"What is it?"

"Why does it matter?" She leaned back in the pillows waiting for this primitive creature to answer the most important existential question of all time.

James thought about it long and hard before coming up with the same answer that every great philosopher of past and present has also come up with...

"I don't know." He answered sheepishly.

"EXACTLY!" Mary felt that she had finally made her point.

"I don't know either... I don't know if it's real or why it even matters, we could both be just a couple of brains in a box or something... hell we could already be dead, or we could be a side character in someone else's dream or yes, we could be a bit of code in a simulated world. We could be anything... but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter, we still have a mission to accomplish."

James felt uneasy about the slim chance he has ever even experienced reality at all and had to claw his way out of the zone.

"Mary?" He calmly asked, "Am I in the zone right now?"

"Yup!" She smiled.

"GODDAMNIT!" He yelled before he took off the glasses he could suddenly feel on his face.

He was again standing in front of Mary as she danced.

"See, the zone is fun; it's nothing to be scared of." She said while she danced around with the silly alien.

"MARY! AM I IN THE ZONE RIGHT NOW?"

"She was startled by his panic and stopped dancing, "No, you're not in the zone... you don't even have glasses on you silly sausage." She smiled.

James felt his face and there was a definite lack of zone glasses, "Are you sure this isn't a simulation?"

"No... I'm never sure... why does that matter?" Mary said in a bone-chilling tone.

James finally realized she was right and he just decided to accept that this was reality... and even if it wasn't it didn't really matter, he was still going to save the universe like a mother fucking hero.

Mary slinked out of her skirt and James tossed his ugly shorts into the pile of junk in the closet.

"I really like those pants" She smiled and copied them with the dim blue light from the scanner for future use. "I can hold your dick all sneaky everywhere we go." She giggled.

James smiled and watched her tiptoe across the ship while she casually played with her horny little pussy.

Mary collapsed into the soft pillow pile and was lying on her side giving James a sexy looks while she whispered, "Why don't you come over here and do some disgusting things to my little body." She did an orgasmic little stretch and hugged her own breasts.

James smiled and slowly kissed his way from her toes all the way up her naked body, pausing half way up to playfully tongue her clit before nibbling her ear.

Mary giggled and slid his cock between her soft thighs while they snuggled, but just as the young naked astronauts were getting cozy in the pillow pile Mary got a message on her scanner.

"Uh oh." She said.

"What?" James asked while he nibbled her ear.

"I have to run over to the lizard consul really quick to deliver some bad news in person."

"Lizard consul?" James knew all the words she just spoke but he had never heard them used together like that. "Oh no... What's the news?" he asked sympathetically.

Mary gave James the (you don't want to know) look and in an absolute stroke of brilliance he did not ask.

Would you rather put those glasses back on and hang out in the zone until I get back or do you want me to drop you off somewhere?" She asked.

"I guess drop me off? Can I go back to toon city with the girls? It's been way more than an hour and I'm sure they are missing me."

"Oh, that's so far away, and we're so close to the Lizard consul building can I take you back after?"

"But it's been so long, is the other Mary going to be upset that I'm holding up the mission?"

Future Mary giggled, "It's probably only been like a half hour in their time."

"Oh... well then I guess I can stay for a bit longer."

"Great! Thank you for being so flexible." Mary kissed his nose and playfully tugged his dong while she handed him a pair of zone glasses.

"Ugh, I really don't want to go in there." James felt lucky that he escaped his first trip to the zone and wasn't itching to go back.

"Well, I'm sure you don't want to just stay in this boring ship the whole time."

James looked around the sparsely furnished ship and asked, "Can you just drop me off somewhere near and pick me up on the way back? Isn't there some kind of cool planet or something I can kill some time?"

"OH! I can put you in that little simulation earth for a little bit if you really don't want to use the glasses."

"Ooo, that sound fun... are you sure I won't get stuck in there?"

"Nah, I'll come to get you when I'm done and I can take you right back to the girls." Mary smiled convincingly.

"Ok, that sounds fun." James was a bit worried but nothing worried him more than getting stuck in the zone.

"Ok, so where do you want to go? You can enter at any time and location."

"Oh wow!" He said as he slipped the small box containing the whole galaxy from the back pocket of the shorts in the clothing pile.

James thought about going to watch the pyramids being built or maybe he could see the real Atlantis. "I can't decide! There are so many options." He proclaimed.

Mary smiled, "Yeah when given every option choosing just one is nearly impossible... how about if I just send you somewhere cool?"

"Yeah... yeah, that sounds good, just put me somewhere cool, maybe with like a cool horny girlfriend or something so I have a friend down there." He held the little box in his hand while he worried about specifics.

"Ok, I'll temporarily erase your memory and make sure you're not lonely... but really it's not going to be very long."

"WAIT WHAT? ERASE MY WHAT NOW?"

She pushed the button on the scanner and an apprehensive James disappeared in the pale blue light.