tagNon-EroticTime Testing 101: Tim's New Book

Time Testing 101: Tim's New Book


The annual Peoples' Science Fiction Convention was upon the people of New City, Pennsylvania, and by the thousands the citizens made their way to the historic Pavilion Palace – many dressed in various garbs of their favorite fantasy Sci-Fi creatures. Also, many college students who enjoyed the genre journeyed from nearby schools – Amerdale Univ., Overland College, and even as far east as Haverlawn and Arcadia Universities – to see the latest collectibles and catch sneak peeks at upcoming genre movies and videos. Not as popular as the "mainstream" science fiction conventions, this one was created, maintained, and set up by fans for fans (not for profit, though in the past few years some semi-famous actors have made appearances). On this sultry summer day, the Pavilion was packed with people – many dressed up despite the heat.

In the many throngs of people were a group of four – three guys and a female. On outer appearances, they looked like the typical "geeks" – all wore various wardrobes depicting wizards and soldiers, wore glasses (the girl's being the thickest), and their demeanor just hollered, "I Am a Nerd... give me a Wedgie." They walked past the many booths that advertised things like Star Wars action figures, posters for old B movies, and even the underground sci-fi porno tapes (which was a growing business with such mainstream hits like "Doma-Matrix" and "XXX Men" making millions).

One of the males, a pimply-faced, medium-build man sporting a white "armored" soldier's uniform, pointed to one of those booths, "Lookie lookie guys. Seems there are more SciFi smut – Timothy, you should add to your collection!"

Laughs came from everyone except Timothy – clad in the popular sorcerer's gown of the time (dark brown) and matching wizard hat – he glared at his friend coldly.

"Ha ha wannabe Storm Trooper Jason. I don't own any Sci-Fi smut; ya mistaking me for yourself."

Their companions continued to chuckle as Jason and Timothy continued bickering about who owned porno tapes... though all four (yes, the girl too) owned a drawer full of such movies. Yet, they continued to trade barbs while they walked past Wookies, Ewoks, Witches, Wizards, Gremlins, and other such people in costumes checking out the hundreds of booths full of stuff. Disgusted finally, Timothy stormed off down a nearby aisle, the girl following behind him yelling to the others, "I'll keep an eye on him! If he buys more porno, I'll tell!"

Catching Timothy, the girl was smiling behind her thick-lens glasses. He stared back a look of bemused anger flaring his green eyes. "Thanks... I don't think everyone within earshot heard you yell to Jason and Cheddar. Geez Hannah..."

"Sorry Timothy," Hannah said wrapping an arm around Timothy's, "it was just a joke. Come on... walking with me will dispel any such rumor ya know!" She giggled; Timothy couldn't help smiling back at his long time friend.

As they past a booth selling comics, Timothy couldn't help think about what she said. Despite the glasses, Hannah was attractive (for a NERD... though he was one too unfortunately). Her blue eyes seemed big as saucers with those bifocals on... yet she sported a full, curvy body. Her ample, full breasts pushed her dark blue tunic forward, her slacks accentuating her round, pleasant ass and slim, but not skinny hips and legs (the toy laser blasters attached to her pants). The boots added height to an already six foot tall frame making her an inch or three taller than Timothy. Even her hair – curly black with a weird blue hue – was smooth and silky as it was in a tight bun (two loose strands falling down each side of her face). Hannah was attractive. Yet...

"What's up Tim? What's with the sighing?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing. Just thinking bout what to get." He lied as he scanned the various items for sale – hearing people haggle in English and other languages (mostly alien tongues from the various shows).

Timothy hid a second sigh as he kept walking. Hannah was attractive; yet, she was like him – a nerd. She dated as much as he did – which meant she didn't date at all either. For her, it was the glasses (not to mention her love of science fiction and her vast knowledge of Physics, Chemistry, and Calculus with a lack of people skills); Timothy knew from his limited experience he didn't fit the profile of a "dateable" guy as well. Being 5'10, he was above average in height, but not muscular (he considered himself "lean"). In fact, he didn't have a lot of muscle at all; he was a healthy, thin 25 year-old Graphics Artist. His round, nondescript face didn't strike anyone as "handsome" yet he wasn't considered ugly. He just wasn't...

There. Crossing the aisle they were in was a guy many females in New City considered "handsome" and "Majorly Fuckable." The popular Councilman Jeffery Walsh stood over six feet tall, had short blond hair, sparkling blue eyes that melted many hearts (and cause many a pussy to moisten), with a soft, smooth tan, muscular build, and what he heard, the sex drive of a rabbit with the stamina of a lion. By all standards, Councilman Walsh could have been a model in California – if he didn't live in small town Pennsylvania. So you ask why he's at the Convention? The one thing that made him SOOO popular and intriguing to everyone is he LOVES science fiction and fantasy – yet he was considered "cool" and "hip." To Timothy it was not fair; he loved science fiction too. Just because he wasn't tall, muscular, had fantastic looks, a winning personality, considered cool..."Timmy, you're sighing again." Hannah said bringing him out of his thoughts. "Can't find anything you want? Or, did you spot our wonderful councilman and all those reporters a moment ago?" She laughed softly seeing Timothy's sullen face.

"Look Tim, he remembers you – he just cannot say so in public. Remember, he's trying to run for mayor this year and cannot have the likes of us bothering him k? I have gotten over it..." Though Hannah's face also grew grim remembering how Councilman Walsh was one of them at Overland College. Before he began dating the head cheerleader Amy Douglas and became MR. COOL...

Suppressing sighs, they continued their tour of the convention, occasionally buying books or costume accessories – the Pavilion Palace becoming louder and more energized with Councilman Walsh walking around (and buying stuff making the products must-haves for everyone). In the distance they would hear the noise that followed Councilman Walsh – people there were honored to have a politician talk to them about science fiction (though it was for the camera, not cause he really gave a shit bout them).

Walking down another aisle, Timothy looked at the booths not seeing anything else he wanted. He had spent a good amount of money on some collectible action figures, comics (one a popular porno-like comic), and props for his business – though deep down he wanted to at least look at the collection of sci-fi porn. As they continued walking, they past an elderly man sitting behind a booth, an array of thick books in front of him. A particular one caught Timothy's eye...

"Hey Hannah," He said, "Hold up. I want to check out these books."

Nodding, the duo stood before the man – thinning gray-white hair, wrinkled face, a rail thin frame and hollow, lifeless blue eyes – as they looked at the books. Many looked old; the smell of old paper wafted from many of them as their binds looked frayed and antique. The designs differed depicting epic battles, religious symbols, or ancient, mythical animals (dragons, gargoyles)...

"What's this?" Hannah asked picking one up. It was heavy in her hands; it didn't look as old as the others. Maroon in color, it resembled a bulky encyclopedia volume more than anything else. The cover was a velvety texture, and the words on it were...

"Book of Griffen-El: The History of Hoptet-Mi..." Hannah spoke smiling. Turning to Timothy, "That's a catchy title. Sounds like some epic fantasy tale."

"Who wrote this book?" Timothy asked the old man.

Looking up at the two, the old man's haggard face brightened – a semi-toothless grin appearing. "It is written by an old group of people – much older than my 70 years – many, many years ago. No one knows their names... just that this book is very valuable."

"Or so my gramps thinks." Replied someone behind Timothy and Hannah. Turning around, they saw a short, chubby teen boy sporting a werewolf costume sans the headgear (tucked under his arm). His wooly brown hair looked wild and unkept – it resembled the wolf's head.

"Gramps always tells that line to potential buyers. It's just an old book that was in the attic of the house we moved into a few years back."

"Where are you from?" Hannah asked intrigued. Timothy saw her eyes glint behind the glasses and knew she may waste her money on this book.

"From Cumberland, Maryland – about two hours south of here." The boy replied sticking out his hand. "I'm Chadwick Sturges; that's my gramps Gordy... um, Grandpa Gordy Sturges I mean."

"Hi. I'm Hannah and this is my friend Timothy." She said shaking his hand. Timothy reluctantly shook the teen's hand also.

"Now, this book is valuable? So, why sell it here? I mean, shouldn't you be at some antique auction..."

"Because none of the ones in Maryland believes my grandpa," Chadwick replied shaking his head. "His notion that some of the books hold magical properties is ludicrous... look inside."

Opening the book, both peered at the pages. The chapter headings were in English – albeit from the days of Colonial rule. However, the text...

"There's no vowels anywhere in the words," Timothy said. "How the heck ya suppose to read this stuff with no vowels?"

Chuckling, Gordy replied his voice sounding wet and wheezy, "That is how the authors of the text spoke. I believe it's an old world language – possibly dating back to-"

"That's ok Gramps," Chadwick interrupted his voice growing tense, "No need to spook potential customers with your theories." The teen's grandfather gave him a cold stare as he quietly sat back. Chadwick turned to Hannah, "He has a lot of theories on the books. My parents just want the books out of the house so he could move on. Plus some of them seem weird."

Timothy had picked on one of the texts also. A grayish-silver one, it was similar to the one Hannah held, but even the title on the cover was in that weird, no-vowel style...


"And this book I have, is it written by same group of people?" Timothy asked, getting this weird feeling from the book (almost sexual in nature).

"My gramps believe so," Chadwick answered, "Though he says the one you have is more a book of spells. I say 'eh' to it all..."

Feeling the weight in his hand, Timothy kept getting this vibe – no, attraction - to the book. It was if the book was channeling his innermost feelings so he would buy it...

"How much are these two?" Timothy spoke before realizing it.

Looking a bit surprised, Chadwick turned to his grandfather. The elder spoke slowly but with more vigor than earlier, "For you, I'll strike a deal. Both books for $150."

Shocked ran through Timothy. He couldn't be serious? Yet, his mind could not fight the pull of the text in his hands as he opened his mouth to say, "Deal. Hope you take hundred-dollar bills."

Hannah and Chadwick watched stunned as he pulled out two one hundred-dollar bills and handed them to Gordy. The old man quickly took the money in his skeletal hands, smiling at his grandson. A few moments later, he handed Timothy his change still smiling his semi-toothless grin his grandson's way. As they were leaving with their new possessions, Gordy waved Timothy closer.

Moving closer, Timothy got a whiff of Ben-Gay, stale bread, and sweat as the old man whispered, "Want to warn you: though no one believes me, I consider the book you hold real and powerful. Be careful..."

Giving the elderly man a perplexed look, Timothy nodded, said goodbye to Chadwick, and headed off with Hannah – carrying his new book (which seemed like it belonged to him) – to meet his friends. Meeting them by the entrance twenty minutes later - and buying a porno movie using Hannah's money – (her teasing, "We gonna watch it together later!"), Timothy and his friends retold of their wares before setting out for the minivan and the trip to Jason's apartment. During the walk to the van and the drive, Timothy held onto the book securely – as if it were a valuable artifact. He didn't know why, but the book felt right to him... like it was meant for him.

Sitting around the coffee table in Jason's living room, the quartet traded stares and their newly bought possessions. The hot tickets were of course the old books that Hannah and Timothy bought – and their encounter with the Sturges. Jason and Cheddar (real name Chris) especially enjoyed old man Gordy Sturges; the grandfather reminded them two of the elderly, senile men at the New City Sanitarium where they volunteered back in the Overland College days.

Despite all the things they all bought, the two ancient-looking books garnered all the attention. First they looked through Hannah's book; the lack of vowels made reading the text impossible (though Cheddar tried really hard causing many laughs). Instead, they concentrated on the many pictures and various maps of what Jason thinks is Northern and Eastern Europe. The maps show battle sites, land ownership, and religious temples within the various no-vowel empires listed.

The images were... graphic to say the least. Many caused somewhat to moderately queasy stomachs – especially in Hannah.

"God, those are some perverted images," Hannah said as Cheddar turned the thick paper pages.

"You are not lying," Jason agreed staring unblinking at the pictures – his mind trying to make him turn away (at the same time wanting him to keep watching).

Of the images, two themes were also present – sex and war... or better, the brutality of fighting. Scenes of graphic bloody battles, mass murders and hangings, and even explicit pictures of rape and other sexual activities so obscene they attacked at the core of what the four considered Humanity. In many, Humans were the main victims of the various assaults – Humans skinned alive; others having organs removed from huge gaping holes in their bodies; Humans raped by many ugly creatures (both male and female – even children) that resembled gargoyles and gremlins. Hundreds of images (and many gasps later), Cheddar slammed the book shut hard – the noise echoing in the spacious apartment.

"No more... I cannot take another of those pictures!" Cheddar hissed disgustedly.

The others nodded silently, though they wanted to continue looking through the book (since the images got more graphic as they went through it). Silence filled the room as they continued staring at the book cover, their minds replaying the ghastly images repeatedly.

Timothy took a glance at his book and got that weird vibe from it again. Before he knew it, he was intently staring at the book, his mind blocking out all surroundings but the book and its silvery cover. Somewhere deep down, the book was calling out to him...

"You going to open it or what Timothy?" Hannah said bringing of his blank state. "It is not going to open by you just staring at it like a car crash."

Blinking, he gave a small smile to Hannah (while Jason and Cheddar laughed nearby) and slowly opened the book. Unlike Hannah's, the book held little to no pictures; mostly no-vowel words filled the pages. Yet, the headings were in English; the chapter headings in particular were blazing in bold old world script: Brief History of Halmooz-El; Thou Art of Schooling in Enchantments; Zee Book Ye Wizardry 735 – 224 CD. Beside each title was a trio of symbols – geometric shapes resembling circles, hearts, and triangles - which probably were page numbers.

Looking up, Timothy saw that his friends staring back at him with wondering eyes. "Which chapter should we start with?" He asked them.

"The 'Book Ye Wizardry'" the trio said at the same time. Giggling a little, "Ok guys. Calm ye self down – the Book of Wizardry it is!"

He began flipping through the book looking for that section and the corresponding page number. Timothy found it after a few moments of turning the thin pages; he noticed immediately that the chapter was the last – and longest – of the other two. "Zee Book Ye Wizardry" took up about fifty percent of the book itself. Under the chapter heading were small paragraphs of non-vowel words... a warning? Introduction? For all the foursome knew, the type could be about what outfits to wear or how to find some weird ingredient like goat's blood. Turning past, Timothy soon came across a different section with an English heading: TIMELINE/REALITY ALTERATIONS.

Intrigued he continued his friends next to him staring at the small passages before finding another Contents Page. On this page were numerous headings – Hypnosis, Mind Control, Flight Control, Density Control (all gave a curious eyebrow with that one), Sexual Manifestations (all shook their heads stifling laughs)... and on the list went until one that caught the eyes of Timothy and his friends: Time Testing 101. Pointing to it, "Want to check this one out?"

Silence was the immediate reply. Cheddar replied shrugging, "Why not? What's the worst that could happen?'

"Yeah," Jason nodded. "Even if the passages were magic spells, none of us know how to say those non-vowel words, let alone understand any of that junk."

"I don't know," Hannah said sounding nervous. "We should be careful anyway; who knows what will happen if we say those 'spells'?"

"We'll be fine Hannah," Cheddar retorted. "Timothy, this books is yours – do you want to look at the section?" Suddenly all three were staring at Timothy waiting for his answer. He gulped hard enough for everyone in the building to hear; his face grew dark and intent as he decided if he really wanted to look at the "spells."

Finally, "We vote – majority wins. If a tie, we flip The Coin." Greeted with nods, Timothy sighed to himself. "Who wants to look at this 'Time Testing' section raise a hand."

Cheddar's hand went up quickly, followed by Jason's. Looking at Hannah, the guys saw she was in no way raising hers. Nodding, Timothy added his hand to the others making the vote 3 to 1 in favor of reading the section.

"Votes tallied – we look at the section." And with that, Timothy continued turning pages looking for the section, Hannah sitting silently acting disinterested (but her eyes glued to the flipping pages.

Finally reaching the "Time Testing 101" section, he looked at the various passages under it. Each had four lines of non-vowel words; they all guessed these were "spells." Settling on one in particular (towards the bottom of the first page of the section), he pointed to it and asked, "Should I?"

Hannah shook her head but kept silent; Timothy saw Jason and Cheddar thinking hard behind their intent faces. Timothy wanted to try at least one "spell" before calling the book a fraud. Waiting a few minutes, Timothy asked again. Cheddar answered first his voice quick and breathless, "Go for it before I change my mind."

When Jason repeated the same phrase, Timothy immediately began to pronounce the non-vowel words as best he could. At first, it was a real struggle and he had to start over five times. On the sixth try, he got past the first two lines... to his surprise he heard his voice change as he read the last two lines without a mistake shocking his friends. When he finished, Timothy breathed deeply then looked up at his friends and the room to see if the "spell" worked.

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