tagHumor & SatireTits: A Hands-Off Topic

Tits: A Hands-Off Topic

byCal Y. Pygia©

In multicultural America, there is no place for black tits. Brown, tan, bronze, yellow, olive, red, and white boobs are forbidden, too, on the same grounds, which is that breasts of color--any color that is actually effected by various degrees of melanin in the skin--are fast becoming off limits to writers and other artists because such hues can, and undoubtedly, at one time or another, will be seen as "racist." (The mere display of a bare pair of knockers itself--as well as such terms as "boobs," "tits," and "knockers"--will, likewise, be considered as "sexist," too, at some point.)

This is a dilemma of no small dimensions for writers of erotica, because, to be honest, many--maybe most--erotic stories mention boobs. In fact, it is the mention of boobs that, in many instances, makes the stories erotic in the first place, even if the tits themselves are not, so to speak, the main characters in the story but perform, as it were, merely supporting roles.

And, make no mistake: when the mere mention of the color of a woman's tits finally becomes taboo, the color of her buttocks is not far behind as verboten topics of erotic fiction.

Like many men, women, and shemales, I like tits. Perhaps it would not be an exaggeration even to confess that I love tits. To me, an erotic story without a pair of pert and bouncies would be like a day without nurture and sustenance. I am not ready yet, nor will I ever be, to be weaned from erotica with tits.

Boobs come in a large variety of sizes, shapes, and colors, and writers of erotica are allowed to describe any size of them. Tiny tits, bouncy boobs, and colossal knockers are all fair game. To date, there has not been a tempest in a "C" cup (or a cup of any other size) concerning the erotic description of breast size. Likewise, descriptions of breast shape has not yet become a problem, and authors of erotica are still permitted references to tubular tits, balloon-shaped boobs, and missile-shaped mammaries. For now, it is still possible to refer to the hue of boobs, although doing so is regarded as crude and vulgar, and it won't be long, it seems, before tit color is a hands-off topic altogether.

Some writers of erotica are responding to the charges of "racism" and "sexism" by ignoring color altogether, describing tits only with respect to their size and shape. Other authors refer to a female or a shemale character's boob color only obliquely, by mentioning milady's hair color (blonde or brunette), thereby implying that the woman is white and has tits the color of peaches and cream, or such authors may identify a female or shemale character as "black" or "African-American," as "Asian," or as "Native American," letting his or her readers draw their own conclusions as to what degree of melanin may color the character's breasts. Still others have adopted the use of euphemisms to refer to their female and shemale characters' breasts, calling them "jugs" or "knockers" or, in the case of really tiny titties, "beestings." Sadly, in a few cases, writers have given up referring, even indirectly, to female and shemale breast color. A few writers have stopped writing about female and shemale characters altogether, (which is why there has been such a profusion, of late, on Literotica and elsewhere, of erotic stories featuring gay males; what has been bad for the goose, it seems, has been good for the gander.)

I have a better idea, I believe, which is the real purpose of this essay.

Instead of mentioning a color that one can realistically expect tit melanin to effect, such as black, brown, tan, bronze, yellow, olive, red, or white, why not just make up one or more colors that boobs could never be, no matter what their owner's genetic, ethnic, and racial makeup might be? The possibilities are not infinite, but they are myriad. For example, there are (take a deep breath if you're reading this article out loud or silently, while moving your lips, as many Literotica readers do): Air Force blue, Alice blue, alizarin, amaranth, amaranth pink, amber, amethyst, apricot, aqua, aquamarine, Army green, arsenic, asparagus, atomic tangerine, auburn, and azure--and those are just the colors that start with "a"!

My own favorite shade, which perhaps reveals my transsexual status, is purple and its associated hues. (I love lavender, too, of course.) Were purple and its family of related hues to be chosen as the color by which to refer to tits, such skin tones as these would result: amethyst, dark violet, electric purple, heliotrope, lavender, lavender magenta, lavender purple, maroon, mauve, medium lavender magenta, orchid, psychedelic purple, royal purple, violet, wisteria, and, of course, purple itself. So, even should we writers of erotic fiction restrict ourselves to this one band of colors, we'd have ample resources for describing tits without boring our readers to tears and/or death by the repetition of only a few colorful adjectives.

Unfortunately, in researching my article (i. e., surfing the web), I discovered that the phrase "purple tits" returns a host of website links that, when clicked, takes one into the wild and wooly world of sadomasochistic pain and pleasure. Now, I have nothing against a little BDSM, as such of my own stories as "A Lark," the "First Timer" series, "Lysistrata Revisited," "Nothing At All," "Nothing At All: Alternative Version," the "Quality Control" series, "The Horse," "The Princess of Pain," "The Sitter," "Spoiled Brat," "Vintage" clearly indicates, but purple and its relatives seem to be colors associated primarily, if not exclusively, with BDSM and sadomasochism, and, it's quite likely that a writer will want to try his or her hand at narratives besides just this type. Purple will most likely remain strongly associated with the pain-and-pleasure genre, since it describes, better than any other color, except maybe "black and blue," the contusions and skin discolorations associated with spankings, tit torture, and related sadomasochistic enjoyments. Despite sadists' and masochists' beliefs to the contrary, not everything is about pain and suffering, although, as Edgar Allan Poe points out, "misery is manifold," especially in erotica.

Denied purple, as it were, since it is already taken by BDSM enthusiasts, I'm endorsing green and its family as the official color or breasts in erotica. Among homo sapiens, whether female or shemale, this color is not possible naturally, there being no genetic, ethnic, or racial basis for its occurrence in human flesh, breast or otherwise. Therefore, it is safe from charges of either racism, sexism, or both, and it still affords the writer of erotica a vast variety of terms by which to shade the colors of female and shemale characters' knockers: aqua, aquamarine, Army green, asparagus, blue-green (for mulattos?), bright green, bright turquoise, camouflage green (for shemales?), celadon, chartreuse, dark pastel green, dark spring green, dark turquoise, electric green, electric lime, emerald, fern green, forest green, green-yellow, harlequin, India green (for Indians?), Islamic green (for Arabs?), jade, jungle green (for the "sisters"?), Kelly green (for the Irish?), lawn green (for PETA protesters?), lime (for Limeys?), magic mint (for Wicca priestesses?), malachite, medium spring green, midnight green, mint green, moss green (for Kate?), office green (for a professional look?), olive (for Asian ladies and ladyboys?), olive drab, olivine, pastel green, pear, Persian green (for what's beneath the burqa?), pine green (for Caribou Barbie?), sea green, shamrock green, spring bud, spring green, tea green (for Brits?), teal, turquoise, viridian, Xanadu, yellow-green (for high yellows?), and, of course, just plain green (for plain girls and girly boys?).

Here's an example of how a description of green boobs might read, just to give you an example of how a description of green boobs might read: "Sam blinked, squinted, and stared again, obviously trying to sort out the conflicting images of Daphne's lovely face; full, high, round, tea green breasts, slender build, concave stomach, rounded hips, firm, globular ass, long, smooth legs--and cock and balls. After a moment, he grinned and began to applaud loudly, in obvious appreciation of Daphne's transsexual beauty (from my story, "The Dancing Diva," revised for effect).

As you can see, green allows even more possibilities than purple, and it couldn't possibly offend even the most rabid racist-hunter or sexist feminist. It's a safe color, guaranteed not to result in even the suggestion of racial or sexual preference, prejudice, bias, or intolerance. As such, it's a perfect color for modern, multicultural, politically correct America.

Unless Martians immigrate to the home of the brave and the land of the free and happen, as rumors report, actually to have green skin!

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byCal Y. Pygia© 0 comments/ 15013 views/ 0 favorites

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