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"Angus, I don't see anything to get mad at. But I don't understand one thing, how did that man disappear from right before my eyes?"
She thought what she faced was bad but in front of what he had to go through, it was nothing. Her heart ached to know what he had been through and wondered how he kept up with it. Had she been in his shoes, she'd have broken down a long time ago.
He looked into her eyes and replied, "That is related to what I am going to tell you now. This is what I fear from telling you. I don't know how you'll take it. Most of the people don't take this kind of information very well. But I promise you I'll never hurt you or leave you. Please don't leave me after hearing what I say..." his voice was cracking as he pleaded. Alicia hadn't seen him in this state ever and she was scared.
"Tell me already Angus, I can't take it anymore."
"Okay here it goes. Alicia we are vampires."
She sat up and stared at him with wide eyes. Uncertainty was creeping into his eyes.
"You are a what?"
"Alicia, please hear what I have to say. We are vampires but we don't kill people. We do live in blood but from animals. Believe me, we don't kill."
She sat there dumbfounded. "Show me."
"Show you what?"
"Show me a proof of what you say is true. I need a proof. I can't just believe that you are a vampire until I see it for myself. Hell, nobody would believe..."
Defeat was starting to show in his eyes.
"Ok, I shall show you everything, but please don't leave me Ali..." he pleaded.
She nodded as she took in a deep breath to watch what was to come. She couldn't believe when Angus simple disappeared from her bed and appeared on her door. He disappeared again to appear beside her and she shrieked.
"We can move with super speed too and hover on one place as well. And we do have fangs too. Want to see?"
She nodded and he opened his mouth as sharp fangs began to grow from his canines. All she could do was stare in horror as her vision blurred and she fell down on the bed.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 8 years agoThe sentence below (excerpt from your story) makes absolutely NO SENSE! You have GOT to get an editor! You have words in sentences that shouldn't be there & your sentence structure is really off in some places. It's a really good story, you just need assistance. Good luck!
Hmm... now that I think of it, I doubt whether you didn't do that to your own sister too 'cuz I'm fucking sure you've done that." She retorted and when satisfied with the look on his face, she stormed off.
JazCullenabout 14 years agoHow can she only now be finding out he's a vampire when he's been regularly biting her on the neck? If he had been biting her on a more inconspicuous area of her body I could understand it but surely she would notice him sinking his fangs into the side of her neck? Just a little bit of confusion for me.
I see a marked improvement in your writing from the first few chapters and commend you for perservering and working hard to improve your skills. Good for you. Keep writing and I'm sure the improvements will keep coming.
