To Love a Stray Ch. 14

"Is it only your arm?" Donovan asks worriedly. I go to give a snort but it comes out as a sob and Donovan eyes me with concern. "Rosy?"

"Now I know why I never actually got into a fight before," I say and Donovan takes hold of my good hand and pats it consolingly.

"At least Terry's dead," I mumble and close my eyes as I lean my head back against the wall.

"Why were you so scared of that tom, Terry?" Donovan asks.

I shake my head and don't answer because I don't want to be the one who destroys the last shreds of Donovan's innocence.

It is late when another meal is brought to us; this time the tom doesn't seem wary of me and thankfully places the food well away from the nearly dry blood on the floor. I let Donovan retrieve it and when he opens the cardboard boxes I begin crying when I see it is another lot of greasy takeaway.

"Rosy?" Donovan looks at me with concern and I shake my head at him.

"I can't stomach another meal like that," I say and begin sobbing in earnest.

I can hear Donovan trying to console me but I have reached the end of my endurance for the time being. Knowing I face a meal that is nearly guaranteed to come back up is almost more than I can bear. I manage to eat a little of the least greasy of the deep fried chicken Donovan pulls apart for me but when he offers me some chips I turn my head away and lay down to curl up in a tight ball of misery on the cold floor. It is only a matter of minutes before my body rejects the food and I retch painfully until there is nothing left in my stomach. I sob weakly in misery before I hear faint sounds of movement from Donovan.

Donovan brings our blankets to me and I manage to crawl onto the thinnest one before he covers me with the others. I am nearly asleep when he crawls under the blankets with me and cuddles up to my back. He cuddles me close and rests his chin against the top of my shoulder; it is a long while before I begin to relax.

* * * * *

Marissa is sitting on the grass between two headstones when I go to visit Alex. I hesitate a moment; I really would prefer to be alone to speak to my brother but she turns her head and looks my way. I move forward to stand beside her and stare down at the freshly dug dirt around the second marker.

"I needed more than my memories of him," Marissa says in a small wounded voice. "I know you all tell me not to hold out hope he is still alive, but I'm his mother. I ask Alex to watch out for him every time I come here; I can't help it."

I listen to Marissa's soft cries as her shoulders shake and I sit down behind her to pull her back against my chest. I don't say anything; I don't think there are words to tell her how very sorry I am Donny is gone.

I hear the sound of someone clearing their throat and look behind me to find Steven standing a ways off looking uncomfortable.

"Do you want me to walk you to the house?" I ask Marissa quietly. She simply has not been coping since we lost Donny.

"No," Marissa says and sniffs daintily. "I want to have a long talk to Alex."

I pat her upper arm gently before getting to my feet and walking over to Steven. He glances at Marissa with worry on his face then looks back at me.

"Andy rang to let us know that yesterday he sent a team just off their clan territory to help clean up some feral dog activity. There's a pack of feral dogs killing livestock in the bush bordering the local creek that runs through several major beef properties. He asked the team to scout some remote, unpopulated areas on the way home," Steven says quietly. Andy is his oldest brother, head warrior for Mal Inness.

"Tell him thanks when you're talking to him next," I say with one last glance towards Marissa before moving away to give her some privacy.

Since Rosy and Donny's abduction there has been a lot of moral support from clans in New South Wales as well as Eastern Queensland. Searches have been made and strays who live within clan borders have been questioned to see if anyone can find some clue to where they have vanished. The abduction of a clan she-kitt from the heart of clan territory has worried most of the ruling Alphas. If it can happen once, it can happen again.

"Mitchell wants to take Jazzy hunting for lunch. He hopes it will take her mind off the fact we didn't have a body to bury when Wade laid the headstone," Steven says quietly.

"Actually that is a good idea," I say and glance back at Marissa again. She has a hand resting on Alex's headstone and I have no doubt she is talking to him as if he could still hear her.

"I'll go see Wade and ask if he wants to take Marissa hunting as well," I say with a faint smile. "I think we all need the freedom of being cats for a while."

Steven falls into step beside me as I head back towards the quarters. I am aware of Steven glancing my way several times before he finally speaks.

"We're all working ourselves to a frazzle," Steven says in a controlled tone and I stop walking to turn and face him.

"Is this coming from you or everyone?" I ask coldly.

"I'm your partner Micah," Steven says evenly. "There's been no talk among the warriors but I thought I would say something. Everyone wants to find Rosy and bring her home but we need to be in top fighting form to do it. I know Doc cleared Timny to go back to work but the guy is still not fully fit, and Chris is carrying a sprained wrist that is slow to recover."

"Both Dwayne and Malcolm are carrying enough guilt over what happened to sink a battleship. Mitchell is torn between staying to look after Jazzy and searching for his sister. Sam, well Sam's doing the work of an entire team out in the field. Mikkarl, Justin, Kirby and Callum are holding up real well for young toms. You and I go out when Sam and Dwayne are here to back up Mitchell if Wade was to so much as twitch a whisker," Steven takes a deep breath as he looks away breaking my stare.

"Either we need more warriors or we stop searching, and no-one is willing to stop looking for Rosy until she is found," Steven says evenly as he meets my eyes once again.

He is the first to not include Donny when talking about searching and I reluctantly admit to myself it is time to accept the fact we will probably never recover any part of Donny to bury beneath his headstone. After nine weeks of searching it is time to admit the truth to ourselves. I concentrate briefly as I feel for any trace of Rosy but I find nothing. The more time that passes the dimmer the memory of how she felt seems to get, and every time I reach for her only to find nothing sends a bolt of pain deep into the heart of me.

"I'll talk to Mitchell and see if he wants more warriors and if so who he prefers. I'll call Timny and Chris back, order them to rest for a week and see how they are then," I say as I run a hand through my hair pushing it back off my forehead. "You go tell Mitchell we'll all go hunting and I'll go see Wade."

"Do you want Mitchell to go see Wade as well?" Steven asks.

Wade has given some resistance to Mitchell and I being in command but failed to get any support from his peers when word got around he was insisting on punishing a pregnant she-kitt.

"No, I can handle Wade on my own," I state firmly before heading towards the main house.

I am not surprised to find Wade waiting for me at the door when I approach the back of the house and the entrance we have always used when coming or going from the quarters. He is standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest, his feet at shoulder width apart.

"We are taking Jazzy hunting for lunch," I tell him without preamble. "All warriors who are here shall be going along. Rather than leave you here alone with Marissa with no guard in case something happens I am inviting you both to come on the hunt."

"Am I to be relegated to staying with your mother and your sister on the hunt?" Wade demands tightly. "Only fit to stand as a last defence if something goes wrong?"

"I am really starting to get tired of this attitude of yours," I say coldly. "You make out you have no worth in this clan anymore, that your value is less than the lowest of the warriors. Mitchell and I have our age and strength on our side and you'll never lead this clan again. But you have a lot of experience to offer in support of your daughter's chosen tom if you were to put your injured pride aside!"

"I will have to see what Marissa wants to do for lunch," Wade says as he looks away from me.

"She is over at the grave talking to Alex at the moment," I say letting him break off the confrontation.

Wade lets out a weary sigh and runs a hand through the hair on one side of his head.

"A hunt for lunch would be a good idea then," he admits tiredly. "I had better go to her."

As I watch him walk away I notice how much the loss of Donny has aged him. I think of Marissa talking to a headstone and shake my head sadly before heading for the quarters.

In the quarters I head to the kitchen to grab myself a drink before heading to my room to get my work diary. In the lounge room I can hear Mitchell explaining something to Jazzy while Sam sits with them. I sit on the edge of my bed and frown at my work diary before tossing it back on my bedside unit and stretching out on my bed.

I am tired from too much work and too little sleep. I only mean to relax for a few minutes and close my eyes with a tired sigh.

"Hey Micah, you might want to wake up," Steven's voice brings me awake with a jolt and I sit up to look around slightly dazed. He is sitting on his bed leaning back against the headboard of his bed.

"It's just about time to get moving if we want to hunt," Mitchell says from the doorway.

"I'll be out in a minute," I say as I rub my face and get to my feet stiffly.

"Jazzy is looking forward to being able to go for a good run," Mitchell says and heads back towards the other end of the building.

* * * * *

Morning seems to take forever to come around. When the door is unlocked and opened I have been awake for hours. I am on my feet despite the stiffness of my muscles. Two toms come into the room. One carries two plates and a bag of water bottles while the other carries four or five new blankets still neatly folded. I stay against the wall with Donovan while the food and blankets are left in the middle of the room and the toms leave locking the door behind them once again.

"Real food, they gave us real food," Donovan is as shocked as I am as we look at the plates containing sausages, steak, bacon and poached eggs along with a piece of toast on each plate.

I grab a plate and immediately begin stuffing the eggs into my mouth, I moan in pleasure and Donovan laughs as he stuffs sausage into his mouth. I look at the amount of greasy food on my plate and pick up all of the thick sausages and drop them onto Donovan's plate along with my steak. I haven't been able to keep food down for the last few days but hopefully if I just concentrate on the poached eggs I will manage to keep this lot down.

"You can't give me your food! You need it for the baby," Donovan hisses angrily at me.

"I'll have one of your eggs," I say as I grab it before he can complain and pop it into my mouth quickly. He frowns at me and I pause to growl, warning him not to mess with me. When we are finished I put the plates by the door and spread one of the blankets so I have a thin pad between my body and the cold floor as I lay down to let my meal settle. Donovan moves to sit with his hand resting on my stomach where the baby kicks occasionally. Several times through the morning we are disturbed by unusual activity outside of the room and we can even hear shouting and running at one stage.

A simple meal of steak and vegetables is brought to us in the middle of the day and I eagerly eat the rather bland mix of carrots, beans, peas and capsicum that is on the plate with mashed potato and pumpkin. I watch as Donovan eats all of his food even licking his plate to get the last smears of juice from the steak. He sighs and leans back against the wall while I lay down again. It is mid afternoon when the unlocking of the door alerts us and both Donovan and I are standing against the wall when the door opens and Vaygar comes in carrying a chair followed by the tom Mike. The door is shut behind them and Vaygar places the chair in the middle of the room.

"Did you have enough to eat?" Vaygar asks quietly.

"Yes thank you," I answer after a moment's hesitation.

"And did you get the extra blankets?"

"Yes thank you."

"Well maybe you should show me how grateful you are. Come around here behind the chair, take hold of the seat of it and bend forward," Vaygar orders.

I hesitate a moment and Vaygar shrugs.

"The young tom will do just as well if you're not willing to show your appreciation."

"No," I protest and hurry to do as he ordered.

I swallow the bile that rises in my throat as I hear Vaygar move in close behind me. He tosses the hem of my make-shift skirt up over my back and pushes against the inside of one of my knees making me spread my legs further apart.

"A very ... stimulating view wouldn't you say Mike," Vaygar says lightly. I tremble with revulsion as I feel his finger touch my exposed inner folds and both toms behind me chuckle.

"She seems very eager Boss," Mike comments and I bite the inside of my cheek hard to stop an angry retort.

"Exactly what is that tom-kitt to you? It's obvious you're not letting him mount you," Vaygar comments. His fingers tease and stroke instead of hurting as I try to close my mind off from what is about to happen to my body.

"He's part of the clan I've been adopted into," I say hoping this will satisfy him.

I try not to think of what his fingers are doing to me or the sound his zipper makes when he moves closer. Someone pounds on the door from the outside and Vaygar inhales sharply.

"What the hell do you want?" He demands angrily.

"Boss we got clan cats close by snooping around," someone calls from outside. Vaygar swears under his breath and I think I hear the rasp of his zipper as he moves towards the door. Both him and Mike leave the room and I let out a sigh of relief as I hear the key turn in the lock.

"Rosy," Donovan questions shakily as I straighten and move away from the chair. I don't answer him as I move to sit against the wall with my legs clamped tightly together, but it doesn't stop the memory of those fingers or the knowledge Vaygar will be back.

"Rosy? ... Some of them would use me like a she wouldn't they?" There is horror in Donovan's voice as he makes the connection. "That's why you ... Terry is ... was one of them."

"Welcome to the world of strays. Lovely place isn't it?" I say bitterly without looking at him. What food I have eaten rushes back up with the bitter taste of bile and I retch until there is nothing left in my stomach. I become aware that I can hear Donovan crying, bitter sobs as he tries to smother the sound with his hands. Finally I crawl to where he has sunk down against the wall and wrap my arms around his shoulders and bury my face in the crook of his neck.

"I can't ask you to take my place," Donovan sobs into my shoulder.

"Well don't ask. Just be there to hold me when Vaygar has finished and left the room," I tell him. "But make sure you wait until he has gone or he will kill you for touching me," I warn in a whisper.

We stay like that for hours and it is well into the night when some tom drops a large saucepan of half cold stew just inside our doorway along with one small bottle of water. We eat using our fingers and I reach for the vegetables in the thick mixture while Donovan hunts out the meat. Again my stomach refuses the slightly greasy food and I am left empty and drained after being sick.

Shouting and running wakes me several times before dawn and I am tired when I get to my feet to use the bare dirt corner of our room since we have no bucket or tin. We have long got used to the sour smell of urine and faeces but the smell is still bad during the warmer part of the day. Breakfast comes closer to noon and it is only a loaf of sliced half stale bread with a packet of sliced cheese and several bottles of water.

I sip at the water and nibble small pieces of crust desperate to be able to keep food in my stomach. I feel weak and light headed this morning and I know I can't go on like this much longer.

We are still eating when a lot of yelling and shouting breaks out. There is something different to the noise and I get to my feet hurriedly. Donovan follows my example and we are both barely on our feet when the door is unlocked and two toms I vaguely remember come in. One heads towards me with a scowl on his face and I hiss as I back up against the wall.

"I'll take her, you kill him," he says to his companion as he lunges forward and makes a grab for me.

I try to duck away from him but he catches hold of one of my upper arms and I turn on him desperate to get free. My hooked fingers catch his unguarded face and I sink my teeth into his wrist. He yells and lets me go as he jerks his head back and I kick out aiming for his groin. My kick connects solidly leaving him to collapse on the floor clutching himself as he retches and I turn and race for the tom grappling with Donovan. He glances my way with surprise as I clasp my hands together and swing them at him like a club.

Donovan takes the chance to throw a punch at his face and suddenly the room seems full of toms as I am grabbed and thrown across the room to collide with a wall. I screech my fury as I turn to rejoin the fight, but I see there are two new comers and they are on Donovan's attacker while he moves away to watch with a wide grin.

There is another tom standing over the tom that had grabbed me, holding a knife that is dripping blood while blood sprays from the slashed throat of my attacker. Donovan rushes to my side and I tug him to the corner furtherest away from all of the new toms. He resists me but I persist and in my fear I use strength I am not aware I had possessed.

"Clan warriors, Rosy! They're clan warriors! We're being rescued," Donovan shouts at me excitedly. I tremble with fear and excitement as the two toms turn our way while I automatically step in front of Donovan and snarl protectively.

"My name's Lance Baxter, that's Loci and David Francis. We're warriors for the Stephan clan. I believe you are..."

"Donovan Williamson and Rosy MacIntosh," Donovan says as he goes to step around me but I grab his arm preventing him protectively.

"Remember you met us when you were at the clan meeting with your brothers." It is either Loci or David; I don't remember which is which.

"Timny ..." Donovan starts to ask but his voice trails off.

"He's alive; he was in a bad way for a while. Nearly bled to death but he's okay now as far as we know," Lance says taking a cautious step towards us. "Remember your brothers had words with Loci over something he said," David tells me.

Lance picks up one of the folded blankets and moves towards me but I take a step backwards jerking at Donovan's arm to make him move back with me.

"Dave, Loci, go see if the others have cleaned out the last of the strays," Lance orders and I glance at them as they leave the room without complaint.

"Donovan, Rosy might like to wrap this around herself; her clothes are a bit worse for wear." I glance down at myself and I am surprised to see that one shoulder of my top has been torn and my top gapes open showing the upper swell of my breast on that side while the rest of the top hangs drunkenly hiding the swell of my stomach.

Donovan moves forwards to take the blanket from Lance and I let him wrap the blanket around me, I am starting to shake with reaction and he keeps his arms around me not letting me go.

"Once we're sure we have all the strays accounted for someone will take you home," Lance tells us.