To Love a Stray Ch. 21

Overall a great story

Just a note. The author finished this story on the Wattpad website under the same author name and story name.

Overall Review

I am not sure if you intentionally ended this story where you did and thought you would come back to it later or in another story. Or even if this is the ending you wanted, but I do feel it is incomplete.

Overall I liked the story. There are parts where some editing could have helped, but not too much was unforgivable on that front when you get into it. The plot, I believe has some failures or oversights that would make it flow better, more logically, make the end of the journey(to this point) in this chapter more believable. Things like the vastly different mental states between the beginning, as a stray that hasn't reconciled with her cat, to a kind of self imposed exile and not reconciled with her cat. The flashbacks or history review of Rosy's life experiences never hint to these problems, where logically we should have some indications of the condition she ultimately suffers from in this chapter.

Another part I had difficulty with was how the "inner-cat" is portrayed throughout the story. In almost every single reference I can recall or find skimming back through your work, the "inner-cat" is basically referred to entirely as insticts or communicative through only feelings, metaphysical body language, or instincts. But in this chapter it changes, and Rosy's "inner-cat" doesn't just become communicative, it becomes an entirely rational and sentient being on the center stage. It's just not a transition that's easy to follow with the portrayal throughout the story.

Some situations in the story are particularly difficult to understand the characters reactions to. With some thought, many of these situations are partially or largely explained with the more animalistic instinct within the group dynamic. I found some of these situations to be thought provoking and intricate. Overall most of these situations provided me with great entertainment in reading and then deciphering the underlying ideas.

On the flip side. Some situations the characters encounter are clearly morally unjustifiable. Not just to a rational human, but according to the animalistic instinct, against everything that forms and guides their social structure. It makes the characters near impossibly immoral, and when later they change to doing the right thing and acting like they were perfectly reasonable is insane, and shows that the characters should have handled the situation correctly from the start, instead of in the afterword as it were. It makes the character seem completely unreal when they clearly know and understand that something is wrong, then do nothing to start with. Waiting until someone else steps in and accepts that everything is morally reasonable from the starting point through to a logical conclusion. (I totally hated wade from the start obviously he shouldn't have done that. 1 chapter prior, but after the terrible event, hey wade, sure we can check in on Jazz sounds good, later bro.) It an exaggeration, but it doesn't feel far off.

I will mention that the character's failures to spot obvious misunderstandings and act rationally portrays them as unfairly ignorant. There is also the overall inconsistency in the character's behaviors, which at times was used wonderfully to represent difficult situations involving high stress and mental fatigue. And at others was a big letdown, almost mandatory stick-foot-in-mouth moments to create stress or plot lines to lead to the next part of the story.

Overall, as I said I enjoyed it. Great concepts for some of the characters. A very fun dynamic of tradition, development, and instinct within the social structures you created. A little short on details for understanding some of the aspects of life and characteristics within parts of the society and characters, but was pleasant in some ways. Creating mystery and, whether intentionally or not, left me trying to the grasp the same social concepts that Rosy struggled with. A very challenging set of circumstances created a simple, but engaging plot. I kept reading, in spite of the problems I identified, I had to know what happened next at the end of every chapter.

The biggest let down is that the story feels almost 5 chapters short of closure in many regards whether good or bad. It leaves me wishing there was more to read. If you wanted for us to try visualize where the story goes from here, yeah there's lots of room to imagine where things go, but fails to provide structure or direction to make any of them....mesh with the starting point you provide. I think that this is the biggest letdown, because it let's down not just the reader, it let's down the quality of work you provide throughout the rest of your story.

I realize that some of this may be interpreted as unfairly harsh, but it's certainly not intended that way. I want to provide you my opinions on where things felt off or in need of change to me. And I am well aware that I am not an accomplished writer or editor, so I share my opinion from only a readers perspective. An avid reader, whom enjoyed your story. And though well after your latest activity, I do hope that when or if you continue writing, that maybe sharing my opinions with you could help, or if nothing else stimulate productive thought.

Thank you for your story.more...

Your story is good

But your ending is crap.

You had an extremely good story going, and at the end I got the feeling that you simply wanted to get out from under it, and just blew it and your readers off.

You had the chance to have an exceptionally good story going. One that might be one of the best of the non-human, but pissed on us when you finally tired of it.

I'm sorry, but as a reader of yours, this is what I feel.

I hope you learn that writing is an effort to sooth your mind and let your thoughts coalesce, but it is also a means of making the reader feel a kinship with a product of your imagination and a feeling that there is hope in all things, we need this as much as you do. You let your ambition over ride you talent and your talent lost.more...

I want to know what happeneds!! Lord have mercy!! :(