To Love Again Ch. 02

"Well you slept with another woman and apparently that meant nothing so why should I believe that?"

"That's different."

"Oh please tell me why?"

"Because I didn't love her."

"You left me for her!"

"No I didn't I just left you Steph."

"Why?"

"Because I'm a fool, you were spending so much time setting up your bookstore and I was lonely, I felt like we were drifting apart, Danielle was just an escapism that was all."

"Oh so what you're saying is that it was my fault."

"No, that's not what I'm saying, it just got too hard."

"So why didn't you talk to me about how you felt, we could have worked it out Tom we were together for 4 years wasn't that worth fighting for?"

"I didn't have the strength Steph."

"But you do now, is that what you're saying?"

"Yes that's exactly what I'm saying, I love you Steph and I will fight as hard as I can to get you back, to get you to forgive me."

"It's too late Tom."

"It's not Steph, we could be together again why won't you give me a second chance?"

"Because I can't Tom, I need to sleep I'm going home"

"You can't walk home at this hour, you can stay here."

"If I stay you know we will end up in bed together and that isn't going to solve anything."

"Look it's really late, please stay, you can have the bed and I'll sleep on the couch."

"Thank you, goodnight Tom."

"Goodnight Steph."

I take the rest of my wine to bed and try to sleep but I can't, all I can do is think about the mess I've made of things. I can smell Tom on the bed clothes and fresh tears well up in my eyes, we had it all and then we lost it. I need another glass of wine so I creep back into the living room and try to reach the kitchen without waking Tom. I manage to reach the fridge and pour my wine but the condensation has made the bottle slippery and it falls to the floor and smashes, just like my heart I think to myself and begin to cry. Of course this wakes Tom and he rushes to my side.

"Steph are you ok?"

"I'm sorry Tom the bottle just slipped."

"Hey don't cry, it doesn't matter come here."

"Oh Tom I just don't know what to do."

"Oh Stephanie, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I never meant to hurt you like this."

"You broke my heart Tom."

"I know I did and I'm so sorry but if it's any consolation I broke my own as well."

I break our hug to look at Tom and there are tears in his eyes and down his cheeks, I use my hand to wipe them away and his hand covers mine holding it against his face.

"I've missed your touch Steph."

"I've missed yours too."

He lifts my hand off his cheek and places it against his mouth kissing the tips of my fingers, his other hand fiddles with the knot of the bathrobe he leant me and when he manages to undo it looks me in the eyes silently asking for my permission. I nod my head slowly and his hand parts the robe revealing my naked body underneath. Tears still sting my eyes as he kisses my lips and my hands reach out to touch his naked chest and I pull him into my body as he slips the robe off my shoulders.

His hands massage my breasts and plays with my nipples as his tongue slides in my mouth exploring it as if for the first time, kissing me urgently and pressing his erection against my bare pussy. My hands are in his hair pressing his head to me to kiss him harder. I run my fingers down his back and slip my hands inside his shorts to knead the soft flesh of his arse then pull his boxers down to free his cock.

He immediately lifts me up and places me on the kitchen counter and I spread my legs for him as he continues to kiss me hard down my neck and along my collar bone then my nipples. One hand goes down between my legs and the other reaches for the handle of the fridge, he puts his hand inside and brings out an ice cube and I gasp as he slides it over my nipple the coldness making it throb with delicious vibrations and making me moan in delight as my hot skin begins to melt the ice and cold water runs down my stomach and between my legs.

He retrieves another ice cube and runs it over my other nipple and with his other hand still fucking my dripping pussy I am close to cumming. The hot and cold sensations are making me crazy and when the ice cold water runs over my aching clit my orgasm erupts and my body shakes as I cum on Toms Fingers.

Kissing my breasts intensely through my orgasm I feel him sink his cock inside me and the pleasure multiplies. I lean back on the counter as his hands go to my hips and he begins fucking me vigorously, rapidly plunging his cock in and out of me until my second orgasm rocks my body.

He wraps my legs around his waist and lifts me off the kitchen counter then lies me down on the table and continues to fuck me relentlessly. He places my legs over his shoulder and his cock bores into me further, my nails dig into his skin as the satisfaction he is giving me almost overpowers me completely.

I bring myself up into a sitting position and we kiss passionately, his hands in my hair and mine caressing his chest. He picks me up of the table and bends me over it, he knows this is my favorite position as he plunges into me from behind, thrusting his cock in and out his hands on my hips to keep the strong and steady rhythm going.

He withdraws his cock from inside of me and rubs it against my arse using my juices on his cock to lubricate my hole. I feel him gently push inside me and I moan loudly, my screams filling the room as he begins to slowly work his cock back and forth. I grind my arse back onto his cock letting him know he can pick up speed and he begins to fuck me harder, groaning louder with every stroke until neither of us can take much more and he cums inside me.

He pulls out of me and turns me around wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight trying to control his breathing.

"I'm sorry Steph, that wasn't very romantic was it? I just couldn't control myself."

"It's ok I couldn't hold back either."

"Come to bed with me Steph, I want to make love to you."

He smiles lovingly at me and I follow him into the bedroom where we make love like we used to.

I wake in the morning to find Tom staring down at me.

"Morning beautiful, I've put some water and painkillers beside the bed I thought you might need them after all that vodka last night."

"Thanks but I feel ok, just a bit tired."

"Well that's not from the vodka." He grins.

"No, Tom about last night."

"You regret it already?"

"No it's not that but I do need some space to sort my head out, forgiving you won't be easy and forgetting will be even harder."

"I understand, so does this mean that you still love me?"

"I never stopped loving you Tom."

"Then take all the time you need because I'm not going to lose you again Steph."

I take a slow walk back to my flat and let my head adjust to everything that happened last night and about Paul. I do love him I really do but I have never stopped loving Tom either and a new relationship can't compete with 4 years of history, I had just been kidding myself that it could.

I get back to my flat and see I have a message on the machine, I hit play.

"Steph it's me Mike, are you there? I've just spoken to Paul he told me what happened I'm so sorry babe but don't worry because I finally got through to him that you didn't sleep with Tom and he's desperate to talk to you, call him then call me ok."

Oh god that's a conversation I'm not looking forward to, it kills me to have to say goodbye to Paul but I know I can't have them both. I'll go round there later and talk to him but right now I really need to get some sleep, or maybe not as someone knocks at the door.

"Steph are you in there?"

Oh god it's Paul.

"Come in." I yell.

"Steph I'm so sorry about last night, Mike told me the truth I know you didn't sleep with him."

"I told you the truth Paul but you didn't believe me."

"I know and I'm sorry but I just love you so much Steph, please I don't want to lose you I've been up all night thinking about you, I even came round but you weren't here."

"I stayed out last night; it really hurt me that you didn't believe me."

"I know and I'm sorry but I'll make it up to I promise just tell me what I have to do and I'll do it."

"There's nothing you can do Paul, I think it would be best if we just went our separate ways."

"Where did you stay last night?"

"I just stayed out Paul, does it matter where?"

"Oh god, you were with him weren't you? You were with Tom."

"Yes."

"Did you sleep with him?"

"Yes."

"So you're going to throw away what we have to go back to a man who cheated on you, who caused you so much pain, I would never do that to you Steph never."

"I'm sorry Paul I really am."

"Last night you said you loved me, was that a lie?"

"No it wasn't Paul I really meant it but I've never stopped loving Tom either."

"I know that Steph that's why I was so sure you had slept with him. I loved you so much and I thought in time that you would fall in love with me too and finally let go of him."

"I did fall in love with you Paul I just can't let go of Tom."

"So that's it then, it's over and you're going back to Tom?"

"No I'm not going back to him I've told him I need some space to think things through and that's what I am going to do."

"Well how am I supposed to cope living a few doors away from you and not being able to touch you or kiss you or be with you?"

"That won't be a problem I'm going to go and stay with an old friend for a while until I get my head together."

"When are you leaving?"

"I think today would be best I'm going to go pack in a minute and then I'll go."

"I'll miss you Steph."

He kisses me lightly on the cheek and turns to leave with tears in his eyes and I wait until he's gone before I let my own fall.

I've been at my friends for two weeks now and had no contact with either Tom or Paul and I miss them both. I've also missed my period and I'm sitting in my friends bathroom staring at the pregnancy test as the two pink lines appear telling me I'm pregnant.