To Russia for Love

"Probably is not good enough. I know it would not be so with me. Regardless of my having or not having a boyfriend I would be unlikely to turn down an offer of sex with such a man. Your doing so may set off an alarm. In Russia we can never assume a person is what he seems to be. Your safety and mine depends on people believing that you are homosexual."

"Are you saying that I have to suck Sergey's cock to keep us safe?"

"It is too late for that. You have already turned him down. Besides, your poor technique would likely raise more suspicion."

I had no doubt about that. I was pretty sure throwing up on Sergey would also be an issue.

"So what are you saying I should do?"

"You must convince him that you're homosexual and in love with me. I will have to spend the night at your apartment after all. You will have to show me the same affection you would a female lover when I am there."

As I walked to the Metro station the next morning I mulled over whether it might not be easier to simply have sex with Sergey than to play lovey-dovey with Mikhail. I was leaning toward the sex when I remembered that my inexperience would be an issue. Though my agency training had been thorough they neglected to teach me how to suck a cock. As I rode on the crowded subway, I all but concluded that I should declare my mission a failure. I could send the signal and in a few days be out of Russia. Then again I considered that the agency might just leave me to rot in Moscow. Faced with the possibility of starving to death on the streets of a hostile city, sucking a guy's dick or playing kissy-face with my pretend gay lover didn't seem so bad.

As it turned out it didn't take much to convince Sergey I was in a relationship with Mikhail. A few days after our first official sleepover at his apartment, I brought him home. A little cuddling, handholding and a few rather chaste kisses easily convinced my roommate that I was in a serious relationship. Sergey actually seemed a little disgusted by the display. While he was very into gay sex, it seemed he didn't appreciate gay romance at all. Funny thing is at the time I could better deal with the idea of connecting romantically with a guy than I could the idea of sucking a cock.

The next morning I woke up in my bed with Mikhail's head on my chest. We were both all but naked having slept in our underwear. The presence of my usual morning wood was disconcerting with a man's flesh pressed against my body. I eased my way out of the bed and lost my erection while taking a piss. He was dressed and ready to go by the time I came back to the room. I escorted him to the door and we shared a goodbye kiss for Sergey's benefit.

Our fake romance continued for several more weeks. We dated and slept over at each other's apartments. The dates were actually fun and the better I got to know Mikhail the more I liked him. Other than cuddling and kissing in front of our respective roommates for show, nothing remotely sexual happened between the two of us. In a way that felt odd because the dating seemed very real. Had Mikhail been a woman I was dating for that long, I definitely would have had an issue with the lack of sex. The only issue I had with Mikhail was the lack of an introduction to the arms traders. I had been in Moscow almost two months and officially dating Mikhail for over a month when I decided to confront the issue. As we lay in bed that evening I asked about the meeting.

"There will be an opportunity next month. Vasily is having a gathering at his home in Petushki. I told him that I would be bringing my new boyfriend."

"He doesn't have any issue with you being homosexual?" I asked for the first time.

"Not that I am aware of. Such a thing would not serve him well if the rumors about his associate, Yevgeny Moiseyev are true."

"What rumors?"

"It is commonly thought that Yevgeny prefers young men over his wife's cunt."

Yevgeny Moiseyev was an unattractive man in his mid-fifties. He had bulging eyes and a hairline receding awkwardly into baldness. When I first saw his picture I was reminded of the character General Burkhalter from the old television show Hogan's Heroes. Sadly his wife was even less attractive; looking more like an old man than a fifty-something woman. The only way I could imagine Yevgeny attracting young men to his bed was with money.

"I see. And what of Vasily, is he married?"

I knew that the handsome, 42-year-old Russian official was a widower who had only recently remarried. I probably knew more about him than Mikhail. But I thought it best to feign ignorance. There was no telling what I could learn by keeping my fake boyfriend talking.

"His first wife died many years ago. Some say under suspicious circumstances. I do not know much about that, but I do know the marriage provided Vasily with advantages. His wife's family was important and that led to him meeting other important people. His position likely came from those connections. His country house that you will visit came from his inheritance. He recently remarried. I am certain that he is more interested in his twenty-year-old step son then he is in his forty-five-year-old bride however."

"Are you suggesting he married his first wife for prestige and money and then killed her and then married his second wife to get close to her son?" I asked already aware of the supposition about the first marriage.

"I am suggesting nothing, just reporting the facts. There is no evidence to prove her death was anything other than natural. However, that she has been gone now for over ten years and Vasily had not dated much until he took his new wife is a puzzlement. Some suggested that he was still mourning his one true love others saw it to mean his interests are elsewhere."

There was no question that Vasily and Yevgeny spent a lot of time together. I wondered if perhaps the younger man had sucked his way to the top. However, I choose not to pursue that thought with Mikhail. In fact the conversation pretty much died entirely at that point. A few minutes later my pretend lover turned his back to me and drifted off to sleep. I laid there awake for a couple of hours. Though I had become used to sleeping with a man, that night my thoughts troubled me. Being presented to these men as a homosexual was possibly fraught with complications. They might insist that I prove my sexual orientation to them by joining one or both in bed.

I also went back to the idea that was hammered home in training; sex was a good way to put a contact off guard. This was told to us mostly so that we would be on guard against female operatives. The idea of entering into a homosexual liaison for the cause was never mentioned. But it had been made clear that we were expected to do anything required to succeed in our mission. I knew I would have to make a decision regarding my willingness to exceed certain limits. If I was going to agree to sex with either of the older men, I would need experience. I had little doubt that Mikhail would be willing to teach me and that Sergey would be happy to help me practice. What I was unsure of was how my body would react or if I could actually go that far for the cause.

When I finally got to sleep that night, my dreams were filled with weird homosexual imagery. Mostly the scenes involved me interacting with disembodied cocks. The only face I saw in those dreams was that of the actor who played General Burkhalter. I could even hear the heavily accented way he said Hogan as I sucked his cock in my imagination. It was fortunate that I didn't wake up screaming. However, my busy night had not gone unnoticed.

"Dmitri, what has you so troubled? You squirmed as much as a whore in a church pew as you slept," Mikhail said when I emerged from his shower.

"I suppose that the fast approach of my destiny gave rise to unpleasant dreams," I answered truthfully.

I was fairly certain that the destiny I had in mind was different from the one he imagined that I was speaking about. I was pleasantly surprised that he seemed to accept the explanation and asked no further questions. We saw each other twice more that week without speaking of Vasily and Yevgeny or the impending meeting. The following week while we were out drinking, he gave me the date and details of the party. His roommate would be attending also so the three of us would travel together on the train. When he added that Yevgeny was anxious to meet me, my worries returned. By the time we left the bar, I had resolved to have what I feared would be an unpleasant conversation with Mikhail. I only had three weeks to become an experienced gay lover if that was to be the game plan. I had to know what the likelihood was that Yevgeny would insist on having sex with me. That night as we lay in my bed I jumped right into the subject.

"Mikhail, something is bothering me about the plan," I began.

"More than one thing should be bothering you, my friend."

"Most of the possible dangers I am prepared for, but there is one thing I am not ready to handle. Do you think that Yevgeny or Vasily might require shall we say proof of my homosexuality?"

"Are you asking if they will insist on fucking you?" He said barely stifling his smile.

"Yeah, I suppose, but I was thinking more of them insisting that I suck their cocks."

"It is all the same," He said casually.

"What I need to know is if they will respect my relationship with you and accept that as a reason not to have sex if one or both should propose such a thing."

"I am not sure, but I can not imagine that these men take no for an answer, no matter the reason."

"So I should be prepared to accept a proposal if it comes?"

"That depends on how badly you want to achieve your objective. I can only get your foot in the door. It is up to you to ingratiate yourself and bring the rest of your body into the parlor."

The metaphor was apt and I knew what I had to do. But asking Mikhail to teach me how to have gay sex seemed to take more courage than allowing myself to be left in Russia with little way out.

"Dmitri, where are you going with these thoughts?" He asked forcing me to break my silence.

"My name is Doug," I said in English and placed my hand on his chest. "I need you to teach me things so if I must do things with them I will be prepared."

"I would enjoy teaching you, Doug. But if you can not even say the words, how can you think you will be able to do these things as you call them. By the way I appreciate your sudden openness, but for both our sakes let us stay with Russian and Dmitri."

"I know we must continue to be careful, I just thought that if I was going to suck your cock you should know my real name," I said with trembling lips.

He reached over, slipped his hand into my underwear and began to fondle my cock. I was stunned at my reaction to the touch of a man. It felt good and my cock came to life the same as if he had been a woman. He stopped and pulled my underwear off and then removed his own. His uncut cock was already more than halfway to full erection.

"I have wanted this since our first kiss, but I gave up hope of it happening," He said as he took my hand and guided it to his cock.

"I don't know what to do," I protested as he guided my fingers around his growing shaft.

"Handle it as you would your own cock. It isn't really so different."

However, it was far different. His cock was longer by at least two inches than my average tool. His body hair was darker and thicker. There was also the matter of his foreskin. I was cut and had never even in a locker room seen an uncut cock in person. I reflected on the idea that having a piece of skin snipped off one's dick was a rather odd fashion statement. I also wondered if it might be an issue since it seemed to be a uniquely American tradition outside of the Jewish community.

"Is my circumcision a clue that I should not reveal?" I asked as I stroked his cock.

"No, it is becoming somewhat of a trend with the younger men in Moscow. You should however consider trimming or shaving away your cock hair. That feels good," He replied and again reached for my cock.

I reflected on the odd feeling of having my cock played with while I was playing with a different cock. He took away all thought when he leaned toward me and initiated a deep passion filled kiss. By that point I had kissed him many times for show. But I had never felt any passion before. It was just acting like the characters in a movie. I wasn't prepared for the rush of feelings that hit me when he rolled on top of me and deepened our connection. His tongue probed my mouth as our hard cocks rubbed together. I felt like I couldn't breathe and wanted to escape. It wasn't so much the act as the enjoyment I was feeling that had me so terrified.

I wanted to scream that I wasn't queer and make him stop. But at the same time I never wanted the amazing feeling to end. My nerve endings were on fire with excitement and pleasure. My mind however was filled with confusion. I couldn't understand how I could be enjoying something so against my nature. When he rolled onto his back, I allowed him to pull me on top of his body. Our lips never parted. I quickly realized our roles had switched and I was in charge. I pressed my tongue into his mouth and began to slowly hump him the way he had been humping me. This went on for awhile until I was too breathless to continue the kiss. I rolled onto my back and we lay side-by-side for a minute panting in near unison.

"I think you're ready for more, hot stuff," He cooed and then began licking and sucking my heaving chest.

It felt completely surreal. No one had ever paid that kind of attention to my chest and the sensations were sending electric shocks through my nervous system. He was again fondling my cock and I impulsively reached for his. I found his heavy ball sack instead. Where my balls were nearly smooth his were covered in coat of fur. I rolled his hairy nuts in my hand and tickled his perineum the way I often did to my own when masturbating. His appreciative moans told me he liked what I was doing. I tentatively walked my fingers up the length of his hard, throbbing shaft as he continued to suckle on my chest like I had the tits of every woman that would let me.

Not knowing what else to do I wrapped my fingers around his cock and stroked it like I would if I was holding my own dick. I heard a deep kind of purring sound as he moved his lips below my nipples. When I realized where his mouth was heading my heart started pounding. I was excited and terrified at the same time. I loved having my cock sucked and reasoned that it couldn't be all that different having a woman or a gay man sucking me. At the same time I was scared that I might like it too much. I didn't want to enjoy sex with a man, nor was I sure I could reciprocate when it came my turn.

As it was my first contact with another guys cock ended quickly. As he kissed his way down my belly, he shifted his body and his cock slipped from my hand. He moved and positioned us so that we were lying with his face at my crotch. I closed my eyes to avoid looking at the hard beast that I knew was very close to my face. He nuzzled my cock and began to lick my ball sack. I instinctively spread my legs wider to give him full access to my nuts. There was no doubt about his ability to please a man. His tongue danced all over and around my sensitive balls. I felt his hot breath cascading over the most private parts of my flesh. I had never felt so fully attended to by anyone before. Despite all the pleasure I was feeling, I still had a knot in my stomach.

Part of me wanted to protest and insist that he stop. But the more his tongue and lips touched me the less I cared about the fact that it was a man and not a woman between my legs. When he finally left my balls and slowly ran his tongue up my shaft, I was his. When he twirled his tongue around my cock head, I opened my eyes and looked at the hard cock that was only inches from my face. I wasn't ready to actually put it in my mouth even though I knew I would eventually have to get to that point. As he licked the precum from my cum slit I reached for his cock. I tentatively touched his shaft as he engulfed my needy cock.

I moaned and gripped his cock as he slid his lips all the way to the base of my dick. I felt his nose touch my balls as he easily took my cock head into his throat. At that moment I was certain I would never be able to suck a cock the way Mikhail was sucking mine. Within minutes I was near the edge. As I tried to form the words to warn him, my cock suddenly erupted sending a torrent of thick cum into his mouth. He did not seem to be distressed at all. In fact it seemed that he was thrilled to be drinking my ball juice. He continued to suck and swallow until my dick became so sensitive that I pulled it out of his mouth. That was when I realized that I was still holding his cock in my fist.

If he had stopped before I came, I think I would have given my first blow job that day. Once my release came, my revulsion over the idea of sucking a cock came back with a vengeance. As I lay there panting, holding his erection in my hand, I had no idea what to do. I assumed that I was expected to suck him off since he had just given me the best blow job of my life. But I wasn't ready.

"Mikhail, I am sorry, but I can't..." I began to explain.

"You do not have to do anything. I got great pleasure from sucking your cock. But you will not ever learn anything if you do not try. Perhaps if you just jerk me off for your first time?" He suggested.

My sense of obligation to repay him for the pleasure he gave me overcame my aversion to doing something queer to please another man. I started slowly stroking his cock. He sighed appreciatively and I moved my other hand to his balls. I fondled his sack and stroked his dick. After a rather long time his ragged breathing told me that he was getting close. I felt increasing excitement over the idea of being able to make him cum. My own breathing became rougher and my heart beat sped up. I stroked him faster hoping to coax a river of cum from his cock.

He moaned, "Yes!" When I moved one of my fingers from behind his balls to his anus.

I was on a kind of autopilot. I teased his tight anal rim with my finger tip as I whacked his dick with gusto. He cried out something unintelligible just before his cock erupted in my hand. Thick spurts of cum shot up and then fell back onto my hand. I was suddenly fascinated by the feeling of the warm thick goo running down the back of my hand as I continued to jack his convulsing cock. On some level I didn't want it to end. But in another few seconds it was over. He reached down and gently took my hand away from his shrinking tool. Then he swiveled around so that we were lying face to face.

"You give a great hand job. Are you sure that you are a devoted cunt fucker?" He asked in English

His tone and the use of English surprised me more than the question. I nodded indicating that I was straight, though I was no longer as certain of my sexuality as I had been when I arrived in Russia. I could easily enough rationalize away my enjoying the blow job he gave me. He was a great cock sucker and logically it seemed reasonable that the fact of him having a dick made little difference when he was pleasuring me. His tongue and mouth gave me pleasure not his cock. But I could not deny at least in my own mind that I had enjoyed making him cum. It wasn't so much the touching of his cock that I enjoyed. It was more the feeling I got from having been able to make him cum that thrilled me. Oddly, I hadn't even bothered to wipe his drying semen off my hand.

I got the idea from the way he was looking at me that he either wanted to cuddle or go for a second round. However, all I could think about was getting out of bed. There were two problems with my desire to run away. First, I had no idea what the protocol was when a guy gave you blow job. I did not want to insult Mikhail and cause him to end our association. The other issue was thornier. Had we been in his apartment, I could have made an excuse to go home, but given the situation short of throwing him out I was stuck sleeping with him as we had for weeks. Throwing him out of my apartment didn't seem a wise move. So I told him I needed to take a piss and climbed out of bed.