To Russia for Love

"Doug, I know you were warned about the dangers of emotional entanglements," He said in a fatherly way.

"I was and in truth, I do not really understand what happened."

"We knew you were good enough to fake being gay. We even believed that you were dedicated enough to have sex with men to help your mission succeed. What we didn't consider was the possibility that you were actually gay. It does not fit the profile we have."

"I am not sure I am gay," I insisted.

"You just told me that you're in love with a man and enjoy sex with him more than you have ever enjoyed sex before. If you are trying to cover because you think there will be recriminations, you needn't. We do not have the same rules as the military."

"I am not covering. I simply do not know what my feelings mean nor do I know what the future is for me in the romance and sexual arena."

"Fair enough; now I must ask something that may bring you distressing information. Are you aware of Sergey's kinky side?"

I had no doubt about what he was referring too. My shock came more from the fact that the agency knew of Sergey's blood play. I figured my coworker was likely to take my expression for surprise however.

"I know a lot about Sergey. But unless you are more specific about his kinky side, I can not say if I am aware or not."

"He is a fucking vampire! Are you aware that he likes to drink blood while fucking?"

"Yes," I replied in small voice, "That is knowledge I only recently acquired."

Though he tried to hide it, I was certain that my colleague winced over the idea that I may have participated in such activities.

"Did you...?"

I interrupted the question, "Yes and that is all I am willing to say about that."

"You do not have to tell me more. Truth is I do not want to hear more. But there may be those superior to us that will insist upon hearing the details."

"I will worry about that when the time comes. What is happening to Sergey?"

"He is fine. We will question him at some point and hopefully he will cooperate. But we know who and what he is and he is not a threat. By now he has showered and is likely resting in a comfortable bed. I offer you the same."

"Will we be allowed to share a bed?"

"Are you sure you want that?"

"I need it for at least one more night," Was my honest answer.

I already doubted the long term viability of my relationship with Sergey. But as I had told him on the beach, I wasn't ready to give him up at that point.

"In my view the agency owes you a debt. For whatever reasons decisions were made that left you alone and with little chance of survival. I do not doubt that there were legitimate concerns involved. However, even with no other options in my judgment you never betrayed us. I do not think that the agency will ever offer reward or even recognition of the debt. Of course I will never confirm my belief that there is one or acknowledge that I offered compensation for such a debt. A night alone with your friend is little enough for me to give. No one else need know that in addition to sharing a room you will also be sharing a bed."

All I could do was thank him. Though it was slight he was taking a risk allowing Sergey and me to be together. He smiled in what I thought was a sad way in response to my expression of gratitude. I did not think that the sadness was directed at himself. Though I don't know why he would have felt that way, I believed his sadness was out of concern for me. It was a concern that I shared. I was truly in love with Sergey, but I was not gay in the depths of my being nor could I imagine a life that included sexual vampirism. Once I was alone with Sergey, I told him all of my thoughts and concerns.

"Let us not speak of this any more tonight," He said and pulled me into his arms.

It felt good being enveloped in his strong arms and having his hands caressing my body. His cheek against mine and his warm breath cascading down my neck and over my shoulder made we want to go with his idea and simply share a night of passion with him. But something inside would not allow me to suspend my doubts even for one more perfect night. So I pulled away from his embrace.

"Sergey, I am not gay and I am not ever going to be comfortable with blood play," I insisted. "Tonight may be our last as lovers. I do not want it to happen with false thoughts in either our hearts. I love you and will always hold our days together in my heart. I know I will cherish what we had until I am ashes."

"Doug, I have always known our being together was temporary. I tried to tell you before that it was not something that we could have. Even before you knew of my, shall we say unusual tastes, I doubted that you could ever commit yourself to a man. I tried not to love you to protect myself. But I do love you, deeply. It is beyond anything I have ever felt. The idea that it must end soon has weighed upon me, it crushes me. My soul is in pain. I do not want to allow that pain to take full bloom just yet. I fear that pain once released would make death in a Moscow apartment fire seem like a day in the park. Please, give me this night and whatever additional ones we may be able to steal before you take your love away from me," He said plaintively.

As I watched one lone tear roll down his cheek, I felt as if a knife had been plunged deep into my guts. I was certain that no one would ever love me the way he did or that I would feel such deep passion for another person. The idea of giving up such a great love was almost unthinkable. But what I was sure of was that I had to be true to who I really was. Subjugating my true self in an attempt to make a long-term relationship with Sergey work could only lead to disaster. I believed that in the end I would hate him for making me be something I was not. I knew at that moment that all that had happened and the emotional connection we had formed was more about the situation we had shared than anything else.

"Then we are of one mind. Though the day will come soon when we both feel that horrible pain, we will speak no more of unpleasant future events tonight," I said and fell back into his arms.

I felt his joyous reaction to the news that I was giving him at least one more night of denial when his lips found mine and our tongues met. He was actually smiling during the kiss. It was a bit odd tracing the creases of smiling lips as opposed to the slightly pursed open mouth I was accustomed to kissing. Soon what little clothing we were wearing disappeared. Our naked bodies were entwined, our lips locked and our tongues fully engaged with one another. Our rock hard cocks rubbed against each other's flesh as our hands roamed over each other's bodies. After awhile our mouths began to roam also. We soon moved into a side-by-side sixty-nine position. We spent a long time pleasuring each other with our lips and tongues.

There was no blood letting or biting that night. We made love and brought each other to such heights that an explosion of orgasmic bliss was eminent. But Sergey had other ideas. He pulled his throbbing cock from my mouth and released my ragging hard-on from his mouth. He insisted that I fuck him. But I did not want to take his ass raw and dry. When I expressed my concerns he said that he would find something to use as lubricant. Fortunately, the embassy bedroom we shared was equipped much like a first class hotel. In the bathroom there was an array of small bottles of various lotions. He came back to the bed with two of the bottles. He used one to coat my rigid pole and I used the other to lubricate his anal opening and rectal walls.

When we were ready he laid with his ass at the edge of the bed and his feet pulled up over his head. I stood with my leaking cock inches from his proffered tight hole smiling down at him. I told him how much I loved and wanted him as I took hold of my cock. I guided the head to his winking opening. He smiled and moaned softly as I pushed my shaft into his body. His warm, tight, lotion filled, man cunt enveloped my invading cock. When the tip of my dick found his prostate he smiled broadly and proclaimed his deep love for me. I smiled back and began driving my cock in and out of his ass. I wondered briefly if any pussy would ever feel as welcoming or give me as much pleasure.

I pushed away such thoughts and took hold of his cock. I matched the rhythm of my thrust to the rhythm of my strokes. Within minutes his cock began to jerk in my fist and his moans deepened. His rectal walls were contracting, squeezing my cock as I pushed it in and pulled it out of his body. He called out my name and suddenly I was locked deep inside him. His cock exploded sending his warm thick seed flowing out onto his belly and my hand. The sight of his face contorting in pleasure, the feel of his cum running over my fingers and the massage his rectal muscles was giving my cock sent me over the edge. We shared a powerful orgasm that left us both panting.

When it was done I crawled into the bed and gathered him in my arms. We kissed softly and again expressed our love to one another. After that words were done. Talking could have only marred the high we felt. As I drifted to sleep with my body pressed against his body, I hoped to dream up a way to continue what at that monument seemed a perfect relationship. But when I awoke to the cold light of day, I knew as I had always known that the relationship was but a moment in time.

My morning meeting with my agency contact brought the news that it might end sooner than I had hoped. The agency had moved quickly on our travel arrangements. Sergey and I were to be flown to the sprawling air base in Wiesbaden, Germany that evening. I would be there for only a day before being flown back to the United States. Sergey would be interrogated in Germany by agency personnel. At some point he would likely be brought to the United States, but no definite plans had been made beyond Germany for him. My contact thought it likely that he might simply be offered his choice of places for relocation. I was happy that he was at least able to assure me that the agency intended to take care of Sergey to reward him for his helping me. However, he was also certain that Sergey and I sleeping together on a military base would not fly. He allowed me to give my lover the news.

Sergey and I spent that day talking and though we kissed and held each other some we did not make love again. Our sexual relationship was at an end. After our arrival in Wiesbaden, I did not see Sergey for several months. We were given separate quarters on the base and I was flown to Washington without the chance to say goodbye. I spent a month at headquarters being debriefed and he spent two months in Germany as a guest of the agency. I was surprised that I was even given updates on him. At the end of my month the agency and I came to the mutual decision that I would no longer be a field agent. Instead I became a translator and analyst at headquarters.

Sergey spent some time in London before being brought to the United States about four months after we crossed the Ukrainian border. I wish that I could say that when I saw him again the spark was rekindled and I wanted him the way I had wanted him during our affair. But while I had lost none of the love I had felt for him, I had almost none of the sexual desire I had felt. By that time I was already involved in a sexual relationship that was blossoming into a romantic relationship with a female coworker. I hadn't really thought much about gay sex for a couple of months by then. After a week Sergey moved onto his relocation spot in Southern California.

It didn't take long for him to realize that California did not suit him. About six months before I married the very same coworker I was dating when he came to America, Sergey relocated to Chicago. He thought that the big city and the climate in northern Illinois would be more like Moscow. The next time I saw him was at my wedding to the most understanding and loving woman imaginable. I had told her all about what happened in Russia including every detail of my sexual liaisons, even the blood and biting parts. She never flinched or cast any judgments upon me over those actions. Her acceptance of all that I had been cemented the love I already felt. I can't say that my connection to her ever reached the passion I had for Sergey. However, I love her as deeply as I loved him.

He and I are still friends though his eventual return to Russia makes it hard for us to share more than an exchange of email. Once our enemies in Russia were out of business and in jail or dead there was no longer any danger for him. We share a bond that no one will ever break. I have a wife and children and a peaceful life. He is still a bricklayer and though he no longer actively pursues arms merchants he is a member of his old organization. He found a man who shared his sexual tastes completely. They consider themselves to be married. They also share their bed with others both male and female with similar desires. I am happy for him and I think he is happy for me. To paraphrase Humphrey Bogart, we will always have Moscow and all those nights in hovels throughout Russia.