To See More Clearly Ch. 1

The phone rang. Walking to the bureau I picked it up finding a sweet friend in need of my help. It seemed that Her Grandmothers home was finally sold and She had only days to to clean out what was left in the attic and asked for me to meet Her there tonight at 6PM. Remembering Her Grandmothers foreboding words of caution about all the memories stored there I declined, saying something of other plans. My friends voice became quiet then suddenly spoke of how I owed Her a favor and She was calling it now so how could I continue saying no to Her? Smiling to myself I agreed then hung up the phone.

It was 5:30PM as I walked to the car carrying a few empty boxes just in case She might need them to pack with. Pulling out of the driveway I felt a strange shiver while putting on my sunglasses. For just a second within my new darkness, odd images overwhelmed my senses, fading too quickly for me to focus on any particular, concrete sight. Shaking my head i quickly drove to Her Grandmothers home.

She was standing at the door as I parked the car. I put my sunglasses on the dashboard and turned the ignition off. Waving at me I smiled at Her while locking the cars door. Looking up at the house, a strange similarity of one of the fuzzy images within the sunglasses became evident to me while walking to my friends side. "I brought boxes just in case" I said as She opened the door into the house. Inhaling I sensed an entryway that had not been opened for some time causing me to sneeze. She turned and said "God bless you Arthur" and giggled while closing the door.

We walked up the stairs together. I watched the beauty of the motions of my friend directly in front of me, again inhaling finding the familiarity and sweetness of Her scent. Reaching the landing I saw the chord that opened the stairs to the attic and pulled. We were both startled at how it creaked and groaned while opening our pathway to the attic. Looking into the darkness above I hoped there was a light switch somewhere. Walking upward I saw a switch on the side of the ladder and flicked it on. My friend walked the stairway behind and pushed me into the room. I stumbled fully onto the dusty floor as She topped the stairs, looking down at me. Laughing She helped me to my feet as we both slowly looked around.

That same mustiness was also in this poorly lit room. Sneezing again She handed me a kerchief. While wiping my nose, I saw a old and very worn trunk in the corner of the room. I looked to Her worried that She would want me to carry it down the stairs. She walked over to the trunk and knelt down to open it but hesitated, turned and asked me to help Her. Walking to Her i felt a strange, fleeting fear that we were not alone. Looking around seeing only Her i knelt beside Her and helped with the heavy lid. Inside was clothing from another era and laying on top of the clothes was a strange looking set of leather framed eyewear. Goggles actually for a long forgotten aviator who possibly flew open cockpit airplanes and needed the eye protection from the wind. The glass in each eye piece were angled at the trailing edge forming a distinct line when connected to the front lenses. She picked them up and cleaned the dust on the glass with Her sweater. I watched as She gently caressed it 's leather, smoothly wiping it clean.

Picking them up She spoke softly about Her Grandmother and also about the goggles. It seemed that Her grandmother believed they had a special magic that only men could use when wearing them. Peering up at me She continued. " My Grandmother said that when a man wears these, he can look back into the past, seeing what the original owner saw at his death." I felt that strange shiver again as I did before in the car.

"My Grandmother used to sadly tell Me about a man who once wore these as She watched him die during the Great war." "She was living in Europe at the time" She continued. I watched Her eyes cloud a bit as She told me a story of Her Grandmothers life back then.

It seemed things were hard, especially for a Woman who was a Doctor. She had such a passion to help others who were injured or sick but found the prejudice of male Doctors abhorrent simply because of Her gender. So terrible was their words and actions towards Her that She finally took Her leave and began studying optometry. She learned the principles of bending light, sharpening another's focus perfectly but She also learned the negative principles of the darkness, the mystical doctrines of the ancients who could use light as a weapon to cause pain and suffering. With Her skill as a medical Doctor combined with optometry, She began to absorb as much as She possibly could in order to fully understand the darkness once practiced many centuries ago.

She found traveling in Europe during the war very hard so She made due with what was available to Her. She studied about chants, ancient beliefs and folklore within the power of bending light and color. So mystical were Her finding that it drew Her deeper and deeper into Her own personal darkness. Such power She found honing Her skills. Such release of pleasure She found while practicing Her passion within Her newly developing intelligence. My friend place the goggles in my hand and sat directly in front of me as She continued with Her story.

Light bending perfectly, refracting the distinct spectral colors could hypnotize or with more intensity could also cause madness within another's mind. With just a slight tweaking of the angle of lights refraction one could also focus and see more perfectly. She tested Her theory's on the easily procured people within the insanity wards of England. She watched the peacefulness with their faces but also the anguish of a deepened madness of the few that She felt deserved this fate. She found that many times what the feeble saw were memories remembered from a better more sane time within their lives. Strengthening the lenses angle they would change quickly to a more base like state filled with fear, humiliation and terror. Again further strengthening the lenses the imagined terror could turn to lust and animalistic urges displayed. She remembered studying human sexual response as a medical student and this new discovery intrigued Her greatly. If this could cause such a reaction in the mindless ones, She wondered how it might effect the more stable. Remembering the male Doctors who were so terrible to Her She set a plan in motion to find out and to also elicit Her sweet revenge on those who embarrassed and hurt Her so terribly.

I looked downward to the goggles and peered through them to the floor. Strange, soothing lights met my eyes, beaconing me to look deeper and focus more clearly.
Her hands cupped mine and slowly raised the goggles over my eyes, fastening the buckle tightly onto my head. She continued speaking about Her grandmother as i sat on my heels to get a bit more comfortable while still in my kneeling position in front of Her.

She became quite famous at the time for Her work in optometry. Even the pilots of the RAF would seek Her out in order to see more clearly while fighting the Germans. It seemed that Her skill was also noted by the same physicians that made Her leave Her first passion as a medical Doctor.

One day while working in Her laboratory She heard a terrible explosion and rushed outside to see a silken parachute open high in the sky over Her head.
A plane was engulfed in fire and spiraled into the nearby lake. She watched as the parachute came closer and closer to where She stood. Worrying that the man hanging from the chute might be a German and then ran to the house retrieving a derringer and returned. As he descended She could see that his pants and blouse were shredded and covered with blood. He landed a mere 10 feet away from Her and he sank down into a limp rag doll like posture, moaning and bleeding. She ran to him, hearing him cry out in great pain. As She knelt down She could see his striking green eyes filled with tears while looking up at Her. He smiled and softly said, " A pleasure to meet You Ma'am," then blacked out. She saw his cuts, burns and wounds, stood and quickly tore Her dress into bandages to help staunch his bleeding. After tying and covering his wounds She somehow pulled him into Her house. Running to the kitchen She pumped water into a pan, quickly snatching some linen towels from the linen closet and returned to continue Her Doctoring to this needful pilot. He awoke biting his lip from the pain and cried out as She washed and rebound the worst of his injuries. With Her urging and careful help he leaned on Her as She helped him to Her bed.

Looking upward at my friend I could see Her intensity and great beauty through the goggles. I watched Her lips speaking, closing my eyes while strangely feeling Her words inside my heart. I felt Her hand on my shoulder and leaned towards Her lips finding such sweetness from Her kiss.

Opening my eyes i could see a Woman smiling down at me. Such concern was in Her eyes. I felt Her hands on my thighs, the strange terrible pain in my side, the heat from Her hand washing me. I could hear the sirens far away, screaming of the attack, like a sirens song on sorts for impending danger. "Shhhh, shhhhh sweet pilot, close your eyes now, it's not time yet" She said. I felt Her hands covering my eyes, closing my eye lids to the darkness, loosing the pains felt.

I opened my eyes again to see my friend closely looking into my eyes, asking for me to look at Her. That strange shiver overwhelmed me, shifting backwards, falling on my back. "You ok Arthur" She said now kneeling over me with the same concerned look as the mysterious Woman. My head was throbbing from where i whacked it on the floor when i fell backwards. My friend pulled my head into Her lap and cradled me to Her, slowly adjusting the goggles perfectly on my face as i looked up into Her face. "My head is killing me" i said as i touched the back of my head feeling for a lump. She pushed my hand away and began feeling, searching for where i hurt myself. With a groan She found where my pain was and slowly massaged around it to lessen my pain. With Her other hand She put Her finger to my lips, quieting me. "Concentrate, look in my eyes and I will help You to not hurt," She said softly, much like a soft, cool breeze feels on heated skin. Focusing on Her eyes, suddenly seeing images of never experienced memories filling my mind, remembering how the mysterious Woman's Doctoring skills quickly soothed and healed.

It was like a dream of another's really. Bits and pieces of scenes and lights now experienced by me while She helped me to be free from my pain. Sounds, scents, tastes, feelings of hopelessness then strength returning. She is so beautiful I quietly thought to myself. So striking and careful as i watched Her helping me to recover from my injuries. I recovered quickly within Her ministrations and finally was able to stand again without the excruciating pain that i felt only a few days before. She had saved my rank insignias and had carefully sewed it on a new uniform that She helped me into. So much did I owe Her. So much I wished to say. I wished the War was over. I so wanted to be with Her and enjoy Her smile for the rest of my life.

Suddenly the sirens sounded and the roar of dog fighting aircraft brought me out of my passion to be Hers. I stood and kissed Her hand, bowing deeply, honoring Her then stood looking directly into Her eyes, feeling my need, blushing deeply from untested passion while saying "Thank You Ma'am." She walked me to Her door and then put a pair of goggles in my blouse pocket. "Wear these for me my pilot when you fly, they might help you focus on your responsibilities and the War." I left Her, walking to the waiting carriage that took me to my Squadron.
I turned back, looking through the curtain to see Her smiling at me.

Colors, shapes, images surrounded me. Burnt fuel oil, sounds of guns, wind pushing me back into the seat of my plane. Adjusting my goggles once again i could see the enemy perfectly. Peering into the sight i squeezed the trigger, feeling the vibrations as projectiles perfectly found home. I watched many planes explode in front of me. I heard their screams sometimes. I remembered the pleasure of my responsibilities once again more perfectly than ever before. Strangely when i landed and removed the goggles i also could see Her smile.

The War finally ended and I mustered out of the RAF with honors for my ability to stay alive while so many had fallen. My taste for flying was still burning in my soul so I became a personal pilot for a group of Doctors in London. A good job, good pay and continued pleasure to still be flying. The Doctors were a stuffy group but easily entertained with some of my acrobatic abilities as their pilot though I always felt a bit ill-at-ease around them for some reason. They made fun of me for always wearing the goggles while flying in an enclosed airplane. I could not tell them of my pleasure to again enjoy Her smile when taking them off after flying.

One afternoon I overheard them talking about a seminar tomorrow about using light, color and lenses for medical use. Listening i heard that the one giving the seminar was a Woman that they seemed to know. They talked of Her ability to somehow bend light to cauterize wounds and also something of how She was useful in the development of a special pair aviator goggles used by the RAF during the Great War. My heart leaped, remembering passionately my own goggles and how I came to use them. Walking to the Doctors I asked if they might need me to fly them to the seminar. "Yes" they said. Smiling i left them to get the Tri Ford ready for our trip.

My heart was pounding with happiness, so hoping that this Woman might be the one that smiles at me in my goggles. Fueling the tanks i suddenly felt the cool wind on my face, much like it felt when flying an open cockpit plane. After finishing my responsibilities I sat in the cockpit of the Tri Ford and leaned back into the seat. Closing my eyes i dreamed of Her once again as i have every night since She waved goodbye.

I awoke, hearing the words of one of the Doctors talking about "That damn bitch Woman who they ran out of London." Wiping the sleep from my eyes i walked back to them to be sure they were buckled into their seats and then returned to my seat, quickly taking off. Even with the noise of the engines I could over hear them talking about a Woman who had the audacity to think She could ever be a Doctor. "It was a mans skill, never a Woman's." "She should have been a Nurse, She would have been a fine Nurse, easily handled, easily subdued," they said. "You arrogant bastards" I thought to myself while making a adjustment to center on the horizon.

I heard a cork pop, bouncing on the planes ceiling then rolling on the floor. I overheard toasts to success, toasts to the wealth of them all. Many corks exploded as I flew them to our destination. Their words began to slur and i knew they were drunk again like they always do when i fly them somewhere.

Below us was the dirt runway that I used to use during the war. Memories filled my mind of the many times I had used it before. Landing, i made it a point to jostle the drunken cargo behind me, smiling as we touched the ground with a jolt. "Dammit Arthur, easy, that hurt" Someone said as i feathered the engines.
I taxi'ed to the tower and stopped. Opening the door I pushed the ladder to the ground and left them to fend for themselves.