Toledo's Turn

I don't know how long I stared, somewhere between turned on and repulsed by the blatant public sexual act. Jeff was turned partially away from me with his hands on the other guy's head guiding his movements. I could see part of Jeff's hairy chest and thighs, his wet cock glistening in the glare of the mounted light as it appeared and disappeared into the other man's mouth. My own cock twitched and lengthened in my shorts. Beyond the pair of men there were two other guys leaning against the deck railing and watching the action before them as they fondled each other.

"Glad you could make it," a voice startled me at my shoulder. I turned to find Vin grinning at me. My mouth was gaping and I closed it quick, doubly embarrassed to seem so naïve yet still confused.

"Hey, Vin. I brought some beer." I was feeling lamer by the second, out of place in this situation. I shoved the beer into his hands.

"Thanks, man, let's put these out in the cooler and you can meet the other guys." With that he went through the door and I was left to follow him out onto the deck. He pulled the bottles out and put them in a large cooler while I tried not to look at the other guys. He stood from his crouch after he'd nestled the beer into the ice and handed me a beer that was already cold. I opened the can and took a long swallow to cover my awkwardness.

"Come over here, Tol. You've met Jeff," Vin said as he laid a hand on the man's shoulder. "The guy on his knees is my buddy Mike." Mike glanced up at me and winked, a mumbled sound issuing from his full mouth. He looked younger than me, skinny and dark haired. I smiled at him, not knowing what else to do.

"Hey there, Jeff, how ya' doing? Um, nice to meet you, Mike." I was behind Jeff and to his left. He tilted his head back to look at me with a big smile on his face.

"I'm doing good right now. Mike here is really good with his mouth," Jeff said and patted the head bobbing up and down in his crotch. I just nodded and smiled harder, not sure what to say to that.

Vin tapped my shoulder and nodded to the other two men by the railing. "This is the other Mike, but he goes by Michael, and that's Rich." Vin pointed them out as we approached, both of them smiling at me. They'd stopped manhandling one another and sipped beers. I stuck my hand out to shake, first with Michael, as Vin introduced me. They were both good-looking, about Vin's age, with brownish hair cut short. The one named Rich was stockier than Michael but I would've given them both a second glance, or more, in other circumstances.

"Nice to meet you, Tol," Rich said as he took my hand. I faced him and was turned side-on to his friend Michael, whom I'd already shaken hands with. I felt Michael's hand move roughly over my ass as he said, "Damn, he's hot. Who gets to fuck the new guy first?" Vin and Rich laughed while I stood frozen in place.

"Calm down, Michael, all in good time. Toledo hasn't met Steve yet." Vin steered me away from the two men and said over his shoulder, "Enjoy the show, guys." I kinda' felt like I should've punched the guy Michael in the face but also wondered if we might end up having sex later, the idea turning me on more than I would have thought.

As we walked around to the door I spoke softly, "You didn't tell me what kind of party this was, I'm sort of surprised. You could've given me some warning, Vin."

"I wanted to surprise you. These are just a couple of guys I've hooked up with since moving back, the ones that left an impression. I figured we could all get together and blow off some steam." By this time we were back in the kitchen where Bobby was talking to the other guy. Must be Steve, I thought. Vin went through the whole process of introduction again as I shook Steve's hand. He was also older, probably in his forties, but had a hot beefy body. His head was shaved but thick tufts of blond hair peeked from the low, open v of his shirt.

"You've got some hot friends, Vin," Steve said with a wink at me. I felt myself blushing. "When does the real party start? Bobby here promised to let me fuck him," he went on.

"In a little bit, now. Get yourselves some more to drink, it'll be better if everyone is nice and relaxed." Vin answered him. I remembered the beer in my hand and lifted the can to my lips and finished it off. By the time I'd swallowed it all down Bobby and Steve were out on the deck and it was just me and Vin.

"You seem like you're freaking out a little, man. Is this the first time you've been to a party like this?" Vin asked me the question with a smirking grin.

"Yeah, I can't believe I'm at an orgy. This is crazy! You should've told me, Vin." I leveled an accusing look at him.

"Hey, hey," he held his hands up, palms facing me. "I just wanted you to come out and have a good time, Tol. I wasn't sure if you'd come, knowing the whole deal. You okay with this?" He sounded sincere but I couldn't figure out for myself how I felt.

Finally I just nodded and shrugged, "I'm here now." We walked out onto the deck where the skinny kid, Mike, had taken Jeff's place in the chair. He was sitting low with his legs pulled back and hooked over the arms of the chair. Jeff was on his knees with his face buried in the kid's ass. Mike was moaning and cooing while the other guys looked on. I saw Jeff's big cock jutting out, still wet from Mike's mouth.

I pretended to watch while my mind spun in frantic circles. I wondered what would happen, how something would get started, which of the guys would want me, which guys I'd most like to hook up with and what my brothers would say if I told them about the whole thing. I looked at Mike and imagined myself in that chair, ass on display while all these guys watched Vin eat me out. There was no denying that my dick got hard, throbbing with lust. I'd probably feel comfortable doing anything with Vin, knowing he'd be there for me.

I looked around at the other guys. They were all chatting with half an eye on the show. I caught Vin watching me and winked, he smiled in return. I sensed someone beside me just before Steve spoke to me, "You're a hot fucker, like a construction worker but with a model's face. Those muscles look earned." He gripped my bicep and squeezed. I turned to face him more.

"Actually, I am..." his hand gripped my erection through my baggy shorts and I gasped in astonishment and desire. "A, ugh, a construction worker... I mean." He rubbed his palm over my shaft and leaned in to put his lips on mine. The kiss was hard and demanding, more familiar than it should have been with a virtual stranger. His tongue forced its way into my mouth, slick along mine and tasting like beer. I froze and let him work up to thrusting his tongue in past my lips.

He pulled away with a groan and one last grope of my hard cock before running his hand up under my tight t-shirt and rubbing my belly. "You've got a nice mouth," he said. I just stared at him, not knowing what to say since I hadn't done anything while he kissed me. "I'd love to see those lips wrapped around my cock."

His other hand found my shoulder and applied gentle pressure. I found my legs weakening and my resolve wavering. I looked around at the other guys, Vin was watching with a strange look on his face; mad and proud but smiling. He nodded and I let myself sink to my knees. Steve was already working his jeans open. He wasn't wearing anything underneath and his hard cock fell out. I stared at his big dick, the head a violent almost-purple red. I mapped the thick veins covering the shaft with my eyes. It looked like a gnarled tree branch, dangerous and mean somehow. His hand palmed the back of my head and urged me forward.

The slit brushed my lips and I smelled him, dark and masculine. I opened and took the head in, licking over the sensitive spot just under the crown. Steve moaned, letting me know he liked it. I took him deeper and looked up. He'd unbuttoned his shirt and was running the hand not on my head over his chest, caressing his peaked nipples. He thrust forward and his cock hit the entrance of my throat, triggering my gag reflex. I pushed the urge away and swallowed him wholly, earning more moaning.

I closed my eyes and gave myself over to the task, enjoying his dick and the sweet/salty flavor of him. I played with his heavy balls and sped up while he carded his fingers through my curly hair. "That's it, baby. Suck me good, Tol." I urged him to fuck my mouth and forgot about the other guys watching. I liked it, sucking his cock. It made me think of Cole, how we'd both gotten off on me blowing him. This guy's dick was even similar to the size and shape of Cole's.

The memory of Cole in my head made me stop short. He'd used me, like Steve was, and left me. I'd sworn to myself that I'd never let another man use me yet here I was on my knees. Worse, I realized, Steve wasn't even the one to blame. Vin was using me, providing me like a plaything to these guys he'd already had sex with. The realization hurt, withering my cock and drawing a hard knot in my gut. I pulled away from Steve and his cock, wiping my hand over my mouth.

I shook Steve's hand off me and got to my feet. "Sorry, I can't do this," I told him.

"What's wrong, kid? Did I do something wrong? Whatever it is, I'll make it right for you." What Steve said made me feel a little bad and I tried to explain.

"It's not you, Steve. You're a hot guy. If things were different..." I looked down at my feet for a second and went on, "I'm just not the kind of guy that does shit like this. I have to go." I didn't wait for him to reply, just turned around and made for the door, avoiding looking at anyone. I made it through the kitchen and out the front door before Vin caught up with me.

"Tol, hey, Tol! Where are you going? Wait up," Vin called to me. I paused just in the circle of weak light from the sconce by his front door and turned around to face him. He was fixing the button of his shorts, his hardness tenting the front of the fabric.

"I'm going home. I'll see you around," I said with a wave and made to turn around. I couldn't face him as the bitter resent in me turned to anger.

"Wait a minute, Christ! What's wrong with you?" He came towards me with an angry expression. As he got closer he spoke in a softer voice and said, "Is it just too much for you, the party and all?"

"It's complicated, Vin. I don't really wanna talk about it and there's no point anyway. Sorry if I made a scene. I hope the opening went well, good luck with that. Have fun tonight." I turned away from him but was stopped by his hand on my shoulder.

"No, Tol, I'm sorry. I figured you'd be into the whole orgy thing. Listen, just take a second to calm down and think about it. You could have a good time with those guys in there, they're all hot and I can guarantee that they're good fucks too. Don't let some fucked-up Portuguese-catholic-guilt get to you. You know you really want to stay." As he'd spoken he'd moved closer and turned me so he could massage my shoulders but the tension there wouldn't go away.

"That's just it, Vin." I shrugged his hands off me and turned to face him. "I don't want to stay. And fuck you, it's not 'cause I feel guilty." I clenched my hands at my sides, getting angrier.

"I don't get it. What's the problem then? We're just blowing off a little steam. Is this because I don't want to be your boyfriend?" I couldn't help smiling and shaking my head at his audacity.

"You know, you're a fuckin' piece of work. Here's the thing, and listen close, dickhead." I held up my hand and pointed one finger in the air, tapping it with my other finger. "I don't want to be just another guy you fucked and passed around to your friends." I stuck another finger up between us. "I do want a boyfriend, but more than that. I want what my parents have, what my brothers and sisters have. Even if it does get messy." I stuck up a third finger, on a roll now, but he swatted my hand down.

"Fuck off, Toledo. You can go back to your mommy and daddy, I've had enough of this shit." The crack at my parents pissed me off even more and I heard the blood pounding in my ears as Vin turned away from me.

"Whatever, dude, I'm out of here. But first, let me tell you something. You said you can't end up like your Dad, you don't want to turn out like he did after your mother died. Really you're just a fuckin' coward, afraid that you're as weak as your old man." He rounded on me, seething. I stood my ground. I'd been through enough fights to know I could take him if it came down to it.

"You've got a lot of fuckin' nerve, you know that?" He stopped and I could see the muscles in his jaw flexing as he ground his teeth. When he'd cooled down a little he went on, "I can see right through you. You want some prince to ride in and have some kind of happily ever after but that shit doesn't exist. It's not real. What's real is that you're the coward. What's real is what's going on in there," he waved back towards his house. "Guys wanna fuck without all this drama, now you're running away 'cause it messes with your head. But you sure didn't seem to mind it when you had Steve's cock down your throat."

Now I had to clench my jaw and fight the urge to deck him. I leveled my eyes at him so he could see the absolute sincerity there. "Vin, I don't care what you think. I've been through this shit and I'm not gonna let you or anybody else use me like that, not again. I felt something the other night at the pond and after. I hoped you did too." I sighed, the admission taking all the fight out of me. "I'll see you around," I said and turned in the direction of my vehicle.

I heard him walk away behind me and the slamming of his front door. I got in my truck and paused before turning the key in the ignition. I'd had such high hopes for this night and they'd all been crushed. I breathed deep, ignoring the ache in my throat and tightness in my eyes. I sat up straighter and turned the truck on to head home.

Chapter Four

The rest of the weekend crawled by. My parents didn't say anything about Saturday night, or about Vin. They must have been able to tell that something was wrong but they let me be and I appreciated it. I worked around the farm, doing a lot but accomplishing little while my mind went over the scene from the night before. By Sunday night I was exhausted and more than ready for bed after skipping the big family dinner.

Monday came too early since I'd spent most of the night tossing and turning. Uncle Dan picked me up and we made our way to work. He tried to ask about Vin but I just asked him not to bring up "that motherfucking piece of shit." Uncle Dan let me be the rest of the day. I tried to act more normal as the week went on, I didn't want my family to think I was depressed like I had been after ending things with Cole.

I'd been thinking about Cole a lot, comparing the situation with him to things with Vin. So I shouldn't have been shocked when the asshole caught me by surprise at work on Thursday. I was just finishing installing some receptacles. I was putting my tools back in the heavy canvas tool bag I carried them in when someone pressed up against my ass and grabbed my hips. I'd been alone in the room and hadn't heard anyone enter.

"Damn, this brings back memories." I straightened up quick but he had a good grip and just pressed closer against my backside. "Good memories," he drawled. "Don't you think so? Remember that Fourth of July in the back of my truck." He began rutting against me while I tried to pull his hands off me without stumbling into the wall before me. "Good thing the fireworks were so loud or the whole town would of heard you screaming and begging for more." Heat rose in my cheeks and I stopped fighting him, utterly embarrassed because he was telling the truth.

With a chuckle he let me go and I turned to face him, fists clenching. "Can't take a hint? Stay the fuck away from me." We stared each other down, him smirking and me trying to breathe. Finally I made to move around him but he was still close and held up an arm to block me. I was breathing hard through my nose and closed my eyes to calm down.

"Can you really say you don't miss those days, Tol?" I could smell him, a scent I remembered so well, as he whispered to me. "Tell me why we can't get together still. You tell me the truth and I'll never bother you again."

"Cole, I was a stupid kid," I said with a sigh. I opened my eyes and looked into his. "I thought I loved you and we'd always be together. Yeah, the sex was hot but it wasn't worth the shit you put me through. If I could go back and change things I'd wish we'd never met." His arm dropped and he turned and walked away without a backward glance. I waited, sure that I couldn't get off so easy, but he never came back. I picked up the tool bag and trash and left to find Uncle Dan.

Somehow the confrontation with Cole left me feeling better about the mess with Vin. After that day things got better and went back to normal. A few weeks later and I was only thinking of Vin every other day and not every minute. A part of me still missed him but I told myself, live and learn.

On a Saturday night, one of those rare nights when the humidity had dissipated with the setting sun, a family dinner turned into a party. We moved from inside to the back porch where my Dad turned on the strings of Italian lights and lit the citronella candles. My Mom served desert, a Portuguese bread pudding, and poured out sweet wine. We were all talking and laughing, a couple of my brothers and sisters had come along with their families, into the night. My Dad and Tom, my brother, were smoking cigars and soft, old-fashioned instrumental music floated from the screened kitchen door.

I had just been handed my ten-month-old nephew and was trying to get him to burp while my Mom and sister, Theresa, went in search of the diaper bag. Tom was listing the reasons why it was best to marry a good Portuguese woman and we were all laughing at my blushing sister-in-law. "And," he continued, "they really know how to take care of their men. How to keep them satisfied." I was laughing so hard I almost didn't feel the rumble in the baby's little body as he finally let go of the air in his belly. I held him up and watched him, waiting to see if more than gas would come out. The baby looked happy and sleepy so I tucked him into my arms and leaned back in the chair. The other nieces and nephews were watching a movie in the living room or passed out.

Tom stopped talking and everyone went quiet, except Grandma snickering into her coffee cup, as I adjusted my position with the baby. I looked up to see everyone staring over my shoulder. I turned around to find Vin standing just inside the kitchen door a little behind my Mom. She pushed open the door and he followed her out onto the porch. The poor guy looked a little stunned and I wondered what had passed between him and Mom.

"Hi everyone," he said. No one said anything and he stood there awkwardly for a moment. He held up a bundle of clothing towards me. "I wanted to bring this back to you, Tol." I wasn't sure what to do, shocked to see Vin standing there.

"Who the fuck does this guy think he is," Tom growled. Vin slowly lowered the little bundle to his side and I realized it was the t-shirt and boxers he'd borrowed the day after he spent the night. I wasn't happy to see him but I couldn't leave him hanging. I met my brother's eyes and gave him a little shake of my head. I stood and handed the baby off to my Mom.

"Come on," I told Vin and led him off the back steps of the porch. As I walked down the steps I looked over my shoulder and said, "Goodnight, everyone. Love you." Vin had caught up to me and reached the bottom.

"What are you doing, Tol?" Tom asked and got to his feet. My Dad grabbed his arm and told him to leave it in Portuguese.

"I've got it, Tom. I'll give you a call tomorrow, be careful going home." I could tell he wasn't happy about it but he sat down. I took the last few steps and inclined my head towards my place so Vin would follow.