Tommy, Again

By reading this story you agree that you are at or above legal age in your location. Certain sexual activities depicted in this story are safe only in fictional Literature.

Be safe. Use a Condom.

This is the story is a work of total fiction. Any resemblance to real people, dead or alive, is purely coincidental. All feedback is appreciated.

*

Jen came out on the deck, where I was cleaning up the deck chairs, with the phone in her hand.

"phone call honey, I don't recognize the voice" she said as she handed me the phone.

"thanks Babe it's probably some one from work. Hello, Josh here."

"Joshua James Julian, this is your wicked, evil past catching up with you."

"TOMMY! Oh my god, Tom Donaldson, TOMMY! It's been ages bro; god I've missed you...where are you?"

Tom and I shared a Dorm suite our last two years of college. We became great friends despite our different personalities. Tom was outgoing, gregarious and the life of the party while I was quiet and at most times, shy. Knowing and living with Tom had loosened me up and brought me out of my shell. I was quite comfortable now in most all social settings. I was even the team lead on my job, supervising a team of eight.

In my two years living with Tom I developed a man crush on him, I wasn't gay but looking at a naked Tom once a day had me thinking some weird thoughts. I loved his hard, well developed body with it's covering of dark hair. His hairy forearms and legs could make me hard if I stared at them long enough. His package looked to be about average judging from my very limited experience in seeing naked men.

Tom's hairy body reminded me of my Dad when I was little. I remember going to sleep sitting in Dad's lap in his recliner and laying my head on his naked, hairy chest, and I remember the way my Dad smelled. Sleeping on his hairy chest and his scent were my best memories of him. My Dad died when I was 10 in an auto accident and my Mom never remarried. I asked her once why she wouldn't date when I was in High School, she got a far away look in her eyes and said that she had married the man of her dreams in my Dad and no one else could measure up.

"Where are you Tommy?"

"I'm still in Chicago Josh; I've been searching the internet trying to find you and finally got the hit today. My girlfriend and I are flying to California and I thought we might stop off in Boulder and spend some time with you. So are you married yet Josh?"

"No but Jen and I have been together for almost two years now, that was her that answered the phone. Tommy, when will you be here, this is exciting!"

I wrote down the dates and times and started making a list of things we could do. Jen and I had already made plans to drive through The Rocky Mountain Park, stop in Estes Park and have lunch at one of the famous old hotels up there. We decided that we'd do that with Tom and Emily while they were here. Thank goodness Emily and Jen hit it off right away and left Tom and I to talk and reminisce about the our college days.

We met them at the airport in Denver, Emily and Jen introduced themselves as Tommy and I hugged and both talked at the same time...finally he remembered and introduced us. We chattered like magpies the whole way back to our house. Once we were there Emily and Jen were talking like sisters in the living room while Tommy and I went out on the deck. We drank beer and talked for hours, remembering all the good times we had shared. After a few hours I felt my old Tommy crush coming back on me with a vengeance. I never thought of it as being gay back then in college, I just knew how being with Tom made me feel. When I would see him undress and walk naked to and from our shower he made my cock get hard. I took to wearing a jock strap as underwear because it held my cock down when seeing him gave me an erection. He commented on the jock strap once asking why I wore it. I passed it off blaming the girl I was dating and he laughed. I remember thinking what he said next was odd when he looked at me and said.

"darn Josh, here I was thinking it was me that caused you to have those boners."

I remember blushing when he said that. I just couldn't let him know how right he was. Now, here we sat nearing ten years since college, neither of us had married, although we both had a succession of live in girl friends, none lasting much longer than a year. I got up to go piss and I went into the master bedroom bath and slipped into my jockstrap again. I was getting hard setting there with him. I smiled to myself..just like old times..I thought. I thought about jacking off right then but decided to wait, I knew I would later tonight, I knew he'd make me cum just thinking about him.

Sometime after eleven the girls made their way to bed, telling us to get to bed soon as we were leaving around seven in the morning for our drive through Rocky Mountain National Park. Tom and I grabbed two more beers and went out on the deck, our fire pit had a gas lighting system and the wood caught quickly. We sat side by side but with an empty chair between us, we laughed and joked and told old stories. After a few minutes there was a lull, neither of us talking, I looked to my right to Tom and saw him staring at me with the most intent, serious look on his face.

"What" I asked."

"nothing Josh, I'm just studying your face so I can always remember what you look like."

"Tommy you're freakin me out here dude. What's up, are you okay Tommy?"

"It depends on what you mean by okay Josh. I just have some things hanging heavy on my mind, nothing I'm ready to talk about as yet, I may never be ready to talk about this. I just have some decisions to make, decisions that will change my life, and those who know me, forever. You know, nothing serious."

I couldn't imagine what was bothering him, there was no laughter in that last bit about nothing serious. I got up and went to his chair and knelt down beside him. I was silent waiting for him to look at me. When he did I said.

"Tommy, you know I will help if you need me, I don't know what's eating at you but tell me how I can help and I will, please know that. You're my best friend, always have been, I'll never be as close to anyone, man or woman, as I feel I am to you. Just ask me Tom and I'll do what ever you need me too."

He smiled at that.

"Thanks Josh, but you probably wouldn't say that if you knew my problems."

"Don't be so sure Tom, don't be so sure."

With that we decided it was time for bed. I saw him to their room and I went back downstairs, picked up and straightened up a bit then slipped into the half bath downstairs and stripped of my pants and jockstrap and began jacking off thinking of Tommy. It was over soon, I was so keyed up I knew it would be quick. I sprayed the air freshener around to cover the smell of my semen.

On my way to our room I saw the hall bathroom light was on from the crack under the door, I quietly walked to it and listened. I heard Tom's breathing and a gentle slapping sound, a muffled grunt and I knew he was jacking off too. My mind raced and I hurried away from the door, I was confused wondering what it was that had aroused him to this point. I couldn't think of anything we had talked about that would make him horny.

We had a bright, cheerful late spring morning for our drive into the National Park and we were into the park by 8:30 a.m. For Emily and Tom the Park was a wonder, neither having seen such stunning vistas and sheer wild beauty. We stopped at every scenic overlook and took hundreds of pictures between the four of us. For every picture I took of Emily and Tom, there were two more of Tom alone. Jen and Emily both took several of Tom and I and there was one I knew I would frame and keep a copy in my wallet.

We arrived in Estes Park and made our way to the hotel for Lunch, when The Stanley Hotel came into view both Emily and Tom gasped. The Stanley is in it's 102 nd year and an old style Grand Hotel. It is imposing, perched in a hillside with fantastic views of the Estes Valley. We had a five course lunch with wine, coffee and for Tom and I Cognac. After lunch we walked the grounds snapping pictures of the magnificent views and the stately old hotel. We retired to the hotel bar for afternoon Cocktails before the drive back home.

After thirty or so miles we discovered that I had taken a wrong turn and we were going in the wrong direction from our home. I asked Jen to drive because I was feeling all the liquor and getting sleepy. I crawled over the back seat and stretched out on the carpeted cargo area, wrapping up in a blanket I kept in the SUV. It wasn't long before Tom scrambled over the back seat and stretched out beside me.

At first the curvy mountain roads kept us bumping into each other,Tom turned and spooned to my back and we quit the bumping and moved together with the undulations and curves in the road. I woke with Tom's hand cupped over my crotch and gently rubbing me. My cock was already hard and I could tell by the way his hand was moving that this was no accident. He wasn't dreaming; I turned to face him and he was looking straight into my eyes. His hand went back to massaging my cock. I whispered to him.

"Tommy why are you doing this? This is weird, dude."

Without a word from him I felt him unbuttoning the fly on my jeans. He reached his hand inside and went into my shorts and wrapped his hand around my cock.

"Tommy! don't! The girls will hear."

"I've always wanted to do this with you Josh." he whispered.

I felt his free hand take mine and hold it against his hard cock. I let it lay there inert, no movement from me at all. The next curve rolled us together face to face, Tommy released my hand and held me close to him. His eyes had me mesmerized, I watched but didn't try to stop him as he leaned into me and kissed my lips. I felt his tongue trying to enter my mouth and I opened my lips slightly and his tongue darted in sending lightning bolts through out my body. My unmoving hand at his crotch suddenly grasped his length and began a jacking motion through the denim of his jeans.

The kiss continued, my hand at his crotch found his zipper and pulled it down. I thrust my hand inside and took his hard, drooling cock in my hand. I stifled a moan, his cock felt so hot and hard in my hand. Tom moved back a bit and I felt his hand undoing the top button on my pants. My hard cock jumped out into the open. We lay there, each holding the other's cock, the chatter from Emily and Jen up front was like white noise, covering our whispers and moans and our forbidden kisses. I kissed him again, this time my tongue urgently sought entry to his mouth. I stifled another moan as our tongues battled in my mouth.

Tom soon broke the kiss and smiled at me. He gave a little peck on the lips and I saw his body moving down and a gasp escaped from me as he took my dripping cock into his mouth, he made three or four deep thrust onto my cock and my body tensed and I came in Tommy's mouth, there was no way I could hold it back. He swallowed it all as I fought hard to be quiet. I knew I would never forget the moment his mouth closed on my cock. He nursed the last drops from me and rose back to face me. He quickly pulled me to him and kissed me, I tasted my semen for the first time. When we parted he smiled again and said...

'thank you Josh, now you're inside me, a part of me."

I held him tightly in a hug.

"why Tommy, why, why now? We're gonna need to talk about this, okay."

"No Josh, we don't ever have to talk about this, I wont ever mention it again, it's just something I needed from you, I wanted you to know how I think about you and I don't expect anything from you in return. It's just something I knew I had to do. I hope you're okay with it and don't feel different toward me now."

I could tell by the lights outside that we were coming into the city and I told him we needed to get up and into the back the seat. Once we were settled and spoke to the girls we both sat back and were silent. Slowly I let my hand slide over the seat until I found his and took it in mine I gently squeezed his hand and laced our fingers together and we rode the rest of the way holding hands. I felt his body tremble and I looked over and smiled at him, raised our clasped hands and gently squeezed and winked at him. He smiled back and nodded to me. He understood that we were okay, no problems between us. I heard him let out a big sigh and he squeezed my hand in return.

It was almost summer but the nights were still cool and we lit the fire pit on the deck and all sat around having a beer. Tom and Emily were full of talk about the wonders of The Stanley Hotel and it occupied our conversation for almost an hour. Later Jen asked Emily if she would like to go shopping tomorrow morning before they had to leave and they excitedly planned their morning shopping, first here in Boulder and then driving down to Denver. I asked Tommy

"while they're out spending all our money you want to go work out at my gym and maybe catch a movie after?"

"Sure, I could use a few reps on the machines and some steam." Tommy answered.

Both of the girls were yawning and said their good nights and went to bed, Tommy and I sat facing each other, the fire between us.

I asked.

"So Tommy, how are you, is everything all right in your world? After our conversation last night I'm worried about you?"

He sighed again.

"I could never hide my emotions from you and no Tommy, things are not right and I know that I have to begin making major changes. I can't live as I have been, it's all a lie, and I know I have to set it straight and soon."

"Are we talking about what happened earlier in the back of the SUV Tommy?"

"That's part of it Josh. I'm going to be breaking things off with Em, quitting my job and moving out to California...I don't know yet what I'll do there or where I want to be out there."

"Why California?"

"It's far away from Chicago and if I'm going to be gay, that's the place to go."

"Going to be gay! You? but, I er, you can be gay anywhere Tommy, you just have to find someone who makes you happy and that you want to be with. Are you sure Tommy, that it is what you want to do, be gay I mean."

"it's not really a choice Josh, it's the way I am. The way I've always been, living this lie isn't fair to Em or to me. I just feel it's time for me to live as I am, not as what everyone expects me to be."

"Not everyone Tommy, I don't care what you do as long as you're still my friend."

Tom remained silent looking off into the distance, he sighed and turned to me.

"We're leaving tomorrow afternoon, we should get some rest Josh."

With that we rose, I felt his eyes watching me as I picked up the empty cans and turned the fire pit off. As I neared him I saw the strangest look in his eyes, it was love, pain, sorrow and guilt all in one look. I put a hand on his shoulder and rubbed across his back.

"Things will seem better in the morning, they always do Bud, you'll work it all out Tom, it will all be fine in the end. Just think it through to the logical conclusion like you've always done. I really don't want to see you leave, I've really enjoyed being with you again, like old times but better."

I showed him to the bath and his room and went to my room, Jen was sleeping and I went into our bath sat down and thought about my friend. Naturally my thoughts went to us in the back of the SUV, trying to decide what I really thought about what had happened. All the times that being with him had aroused me and my jacking off thinking of him, I had never imagined doing what he had done to me, taking my cock in his mouth, swallowing my cum. I knew how incredible it felt, better than any sex I had ever had before, I knew I wanted to do it to him, I knew I was scared of what this meant. I didn't want to be gay. I'm not gay, but with Tommy, is it gay if I only feel these thoughts for him? Other men do not excite me, I don't have the slightest desire for other men, it's just for Tommy. Only him.

Finally I climbed into bed without disturbing Jen; I turned and tossed and slept very little all night. I was no closer to knowing what I wanted than I was earlier last night. I got up and went to the kitchen and made coffee, it was only 4:30 a.m. I sat there staring out the window watching the darkness. At about 5:00 a.m. Tommy walked in, poured a cup and sat down at the table opposite me.

"you couldn't sleep either?" he asked.

"hardly a wink" I replied.

Silence. We sat and drank our coffee without another word. I caught him staring at me several times. Finally I asked.

"what? you're staring at me again, what is it.?"

"Sorry Josh, I'm just looking at the best friend I've ever had, this may be the last time we are ever together."

"WHAT! why do you say that Tommy. Are you not going to be my friend anymore?"

"Will you want to be friends with a queer? A cock sucker, that's what I am, you know."

"Tommy listen to me. Being gay doesn't have to define who your are. You have many more defining qualities than just being gay. You're my friend, always. Even it you were a serial killer you would still be my friend. Okay, so you're gay. That's not who you are. You are a smart, kind, caring man who just happens to be a pervert in his bedroom."

Tom stared at me open mouthed and then roared laughing. I joined him and we laughed till tears were running down our cheeks. I passed him a napkin as I wiped my eyes.

"Damn Josh, that's cold. Calling your best bud a pervert." he started laughing again.

It was good to see him laugh, he had been is such a dark mood I knew I had to lift him out somehow and the 'pervert' quip worked. I just couldn't let him leave me so sad and down on himself. Our laughter finally died down and he looked me in the eye and gave me a sly grin.

"Thanks Josh, I really needed that. That's one reason we came here, you always lift my spirit and make me feel better about myself."

Em and Jen walked in and grabbed up cups.

"What's so funny down here you guys." Jen asked...

Thinking fast Tom answered.

"Your goofy boy friend telling dirty jokes....he's really a pervert you know!"

His emphasis on the word pervert set us both to laughing again.

Em and Jen looked at each other and just shrugged.

"Men...go figure" Em said..

I got out of my chair, grabbed the pot an did refills on coffee and set up for another pot. Then I started making our breakfast.

"How did you train him to make breakfast?" Em asked Jen.

"Easy, I just didn't offer to cook, he was hungry so he started making breakfast and always has since." she replied.

We made polite conversation and generally had a good time, everyone rinsed off their plates and utensils and loaded them in the dishwasher but kept the coffee cups. After another cup Em stood and said she was going to shower and pack, Jen went to our room to take hers leaving Tommy and I alone again.

I looked to him.

"Are you going to be okay Bud? I'm worried about you. Give me your cell number now. I don't want us losing contact again. I want to know where you are." I said.

"Don't worry about me Joshua, I'll be fine."

Just then I heard Jen shout down the stairs, we're out guys, come take your shower.

"here we come" I replied.

When Tommy stood I moved to him and hugged him close to me. He held me tight to him, I tilted my head and kissed his neck. I felt him tremble against me. I straightened an held him away just a bit, looking into his eyes. Then I just leaned in and kissed him hard, tongue down his throat, a need possessing me I never had felt before. When we parted, gasping for breath the way he looked at me shook me to my core. I saw love, lust, longing and the need that I had just felt, all in one look. I trembled this time. He turned away, sat his cup in the sink and punched at my arm as he walked past.