tagHumor & SatireToo Much is Never Enough

Too Much is Never Enough


Over the years, I've read nearly well over a hundred thousand erotic stories of the Internet; and noticed an out-of-control trend of increasing women's dimensions (particularly busts). Recently I've even read of 50-JJ sized boobs. Bubble butts have been catching up lately, and men's dimensions are not far behind on that curve.

Well, in view of the apparently common opinion that too much is never enough; I'm going to explore the limits of human endurance. Yes, the poor woman depicted as the example herein should immediately go and get a radical mastectomy and a butt-ectomy or she will be confined to permanent bed rest before she's nineteen years old.

Not to fear my dear, what's left will still put the udders of a blue whale and the ass-end of the QE2 to shame.

And you guys with those sewer pipe cocks that are longer and fatter than a Golden Gate bridge pile should go immediately and get radiation and chemo treatments until they are reduced by 80%. That will still leave you more than double the size of that exaggerated by the average man on the street.

Consider that you may finally be able to get a good portion of it into a real woman's pussy instead of less than half into the pussies you've always had to rely on; nor will you be troubled further by repeated charges of bestiality with elephants and rhinos for that pleasure you've become accustomed to with the front half of your exalted penile monument.

Won't you feel so much better when it's not dragging down the sidewalk ten feet behind you? Just think, no more 'road rash'; and people won't always be stepping on it or running over it with skateboards either. How many times has that thing been run over by a bus anyway? Did you even feel it? I know the bus driver must have.

I was out drinking one night when a lady came into the bar. The bouncer apparently knew her and allowed her in, despite the fact she took up 5 barstools for her cute little bubble butt.

The biggest problem with those boobs of hers was that they drug the ground behind her. It took her a few minutes, calloused and covered in dusty bootprints as they were, to pack them around the bottom of her barstool when she sat down a half-dozen seats distant from me.

The reason they encouraged her patronage quickly became clear to me.

She drank like a sun-dried Bactrian camel trying to refill its two humps. The bartender served her Long Island Iced Teas in beer pitchers - thirteen of them - in the first hour alone. She chugged the first one and the barkeep, clearly used to her habits, immediately swapped it for a full one.

Over that hour, she had to keep scooting back further and further from the bar as her tits kept swelling, unwrapping, and lifting; until the patrons, myself included, had to climb over the bar to get to the restrooms on the other side of her. I was wondering what would happen when she had to pee. The restrooms weren't big enough for her and even half of one tit.

Yep, they were the biggest tits in this or any other universe, with extended nipples higher and wider than Mount Kilimanjaro's volcanic caldera (14,000 ft; 100 sq mi), and areoles each larger than Lake Titicaca (3,200 sq mi).

A battalion of main battle tanks could rest atop each of her nipples, but they might have a few problems when she's lactating. Yellowstone Park with its geysers would run a poor second.

To bridge between those two puppies would be like connecting the K1 and K2 peaks in the Himilayas, a more ambitious project than the Yellow River Dam. At least the Chinese will get hydroelectric power.

With good drainage, the real estate in her cleavage could be leased to a developer for a new Mall of the Americas, a dozen each casinos and hotels, an international airport, a Six Flags amusement park, and how could I forget a year-round ski resort - just add whipped cream and skip the cherry.

It was when she first sat down that I noticed something else. Her ass hadn't looked any wider than a teenager's from the front, but she had a bubble-butt that brought her hip measurement up to 80 inches. As she sat on the barstool, she had to bow her head to avoid breaking the ceiling tiles.

Even if she were able to solve the tit problem in the restroom, the stall might be just a bit cramped for that beauteous ass; and how could she piss in the toilet when her pussy was still well over three feet away when her ass hit the rim? Does she prefer the seat up or down? Did she ever miss? Does she ever hit it?

Unfortunately, all that weight she was toting around had caused her feet to expand to just a little larger than snowshoe size. You have to take the bad with the good, right? As her feet and her tits were competing for the same piece of the galactic real estate, she had to sit so far back that the bartender had to come around to serve her.

When I moved in for the "kill", the closest I could stand was about four feet away, without stepping on her tangled-up tits and feet. Needless to say, it took awhile to hook up with her, but we eventually made it to her place.

And hook up we did, I fucked her brains out with my measly little 60" cock (and only 18" diameter); and although she'd obviously had a lot of cocks much bigger than mine, she was still tight and I managed to knock her up higher than a kite.

Oh, what am I talking about? I could've landed a 747 in that pussy; but try that with a Russian jumbo and she'd strip the wing tips right off it.

The last time I saw her after the baby was born, she told me her tits had grown to 142-quint-Z; and she was talking about me puttin' another "bun in her oven". But, I thought her tits were big enough the way they were.

Lately, my tastes have been running more toward 36C x24x36; and in order to accommodate those itty-bitty baby pussies, I had my cock reduced down to a paltry 9x3 inches, maybe a half-inch more either way on a good day.

COME ON GUYS.....GET FREAKING REAL!!! If a chick with 142-quint-Z tits getting fucked to half of her depth and knocked up by a 60x18 inch cock isn't enough for you, WHAT THE FUCK IS?

What's next, hooters the size of Olympus Mons on Mars (14 mi high), an ass bigger than Jupiter's Great Spot, and a pussy large enough to suck up galaxy-wide black holes like Rice Krispies though a milkshake straw?

I might think about writing that story sometime, if the trend continues. Just think, could there ever be a cock big enough to over-stuff a worm hole in space?

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byEMiamiRiverRat© 5 comments/ 31601 views/ 2 favorites

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by Anonymous

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by Ishui02/23/18

That was hysterical, thought I would bust a gut laughing!! Thanks - Keep it up, RiverRat :-D

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