Torgan Wine Ch. 31

Lislora's eyes remained glued to the floor. "Yes. He said he understood why I... I am sorry Isonei. Sorry for being cruel to you, you did not deserve it."

Taking a deep breath and several long silent moments to think, Isonei gave an answer, "I forgive you. You tried to help care for me. It was clear you were uncomfortable being around someone so ill but you kept coming back."

She lifted her eyes. "I was and am truly sorry."

Isonei stepped forward and embraced the sitting woman pressing her cheek to her dark, braided hair. "You are still my friend." After a moment she added, "I may have to apologize for trying to give you a deceptive man who is nearly incapable of keeping his word. He's beautiful but he's the most infuriating man I've ever met."

The Torgan woman sighed, wrapping her arms around Isonei briefly before gently pushing her back and standing up as well. "He has to be prodded into keeping his word."

"He scolds when I try!" Isonei shook her head with a wry smile. "But if I hadn't tried to give him to you, there might have been less pain for you."

"For us both." Lislora laid a hand on her shoulder and glanced to the door. "Are you aware that he may try to force the Sellac to give you back? He is the Duke of Kroscur as well as a Prince; there are laws that would allow him to refuse..."

"If he does I'll try to convince him otherwise. I won't allow unpleasantness, not here, not around the children."

"You could do a great deal for them as the Duchess of Kroscur. I gave them the house but I lack the wealth to give them more." Lislora moved to the basin and began to wash her face.

"I can try to get clean water for you..." The sight of the woman using her dirty water made Isonei squeamish.

Lislora looked up with a twisted smile. "You wash more than anyone I have ever known, Isonei. You never allow yourself to get dirty before you wash again. This water is fine."

"Arans like to be clean." She crossed her arms and tried not to pout openly. "Why do Torgans find that so amusing?"

"Torgans are clean, Arans are vain." Lislora's eyes glittered much like Draeseth's. "His Highness said you cannot bear to smell like anything other than vaina pods."

Isonei made a face at her and the woman laughed clamping her hands over mouth as if it startled her.

"You looked for a moment like you could be one of the children here not one of the Sisters."

"The children here are wonderful. I hadn't expected there to be so many, perhaps one or two living with the Sisters. Orphans are rare in Ara."

"Truly?" Lislora tilted her head with a speculative look.

"Yes, for a child to have no family is heartbreaking. Their other mothers, aunts or uncles, even in other Houses, anyone related to them in any way would take them and give them a home. This... I would take them all as mine if I could." She wrung her hands, if she didn't intend to leave Torga she would.

"You can do a great deal for them, Isonei." The Torgan woman offered her a genuine smile. "I can see why Halloc Aurim believes you would be a good Sellac."

°°°°°°°°°°

Isonei's dinner was almost as light as her lunch had been, bread, cheese, a little bit of fruit and some Mezi, but over dinner, with both Brother Odgar and Lislora's help, she had an enlightening discussion with Sellac Gesosin. The boys in her care would be soldiers or priests when they were grown, most of the girls would be maids and wives, and few might become Sisters. The chores they were required to do helped to prepare them.

When Isonei asked about weaving and sewing the Sellac looked surprised. There wasn't enough money to reliably obtain the materials needed to teach the girls or to have the looms built and maintained. The suggestion of teaching the boys to build them and maintain them, adding carpentry to their skills earned her an annoyed look.

"That would require yet more money, Isonei." Lislora spoke quietly with a pointed look. "If you were remaining the Duchess..."

"I'm sure there has to be way around it. Surely some carpenters would be willing to lend their skill in exchange for blessings or having their children taught. Schools don't seem to be as common here as they are in Ara. They do teach the children to read and write?"

Lislora spoke for a few moments with the Sellac. "If they could find a willing carpenter, perhaps."

"The village I visited; ask there. And I thought Krouth said people gathered the fur of the cows here to use to make things like rugs. You mentioned one of the duties the children perform is taking care of a few of them, why not also have them taught how to gather it? That could be some of the material they use and it would teach them yet more skills." She blinked at the stunned expression on Lislora's face. "Is something wrong?"

"No... those are very sensible suggestions, but you don't understand the amount of work required."

"Hopefully I can stay and learn. Weaving was unbearably dull and taxing but perhaps I could help with the cows?"

The Torgan woman choked on her stew. "The dirty cows? You? Have you even seen one up close?"

Isonei fidgeted in her chair feeling her face flush, she tilted her chin up just a little. "I haven't, but-"

Lislora began to laugh covering her face and between sobs and snorts of laughter it sounded like she was trying to speak. She barely managed to compose herself and shielded her eyes from Isonei as she spoke to the Sellac.

The older woman turned a deeply amused look on the Aran. Her long reply was translated by Brother Odgar. "Sellac Gesosin is also from a very noble family and also did not understand that cows are filthy and dangerous. She thought them proud creatures. As a postulant her Sellac sent her out to help tend them wanting to teach her humility. It was a valuable lesson for her. She does not believe you require a lesson in humility, but you need to learn about the work you are suggesting others do." The priest smiled at her, adding on his own, "You have been carefully kept all of your life, your Grace, it would be difficult for you."

"It would be. But I could be useful and I would be with the children."

Her words were relayed and the Sellac nodded with a warm smile answering through Lislora, "That is a good place to start."

Sellac Gesosin summoned Hodrim to their table and spoke to him, gesturing toward Isonei. The boy's face lit up as if he'd just been given a pet. He answered her enthusiastically, his dark head bobbing.

"The Sellac has put you in Master Hodrim's care. He is responsible for seeing you to prayers and teaching you to speak Torgan." Brother Odgar's smile was the broadest she'd seen it. "I can leave knowing you to be in good hands."

"I think even Halloc Aurim will be pleased." Isonei gave the boy a doting smile.

"I will tell him you are eager to become a postulant." He studied her face, still smiling.

"I am if they'll have me. I'm more content here than I have been since I arrived in Torga."

Odgar spoke to Sellac Gesosin for a few moments and then nodded. "There will be a period of contemplation not only for you but for his Highness. You are most welcome here, your Grace."

After dinner had finished came the evening prayers and Isonei was eager to tell more stories, but a look at her audience as the prayers were finishing told her they would be better received in the morning. Most of the children were struggling to stay awake by the time the Sellac had finished intoning the prayers, and truthfully, she found it to be a struggle to contain her own yawns. It wasn't disputed when the Sellac told them the stories would be resumed tomorrow after lunch.

Hodrim walked her to her room afterward, his back sword straight and his face stern and proud. Isonei couldn't resist kissing his dark head and embracing him. Lislora spoke quietly in Torgan as the boy disentangled himself, blushing but smiling shyly.

"Soxst tsvult." He gave a shallow, courtly bow that wouldn't have looked out of place in Ara.

"Soxst tsvult." Lislora answered with a warm smile gesturing at Isonei to do the same.

"Soxt svult?"

"Sox-st. Tsvult." Hodrim pronounced carefully.

"It means 'goodnight' or 'goodbye tonight'." Lislora seemed amused as Isonei looked to her for clarification.

"Soxst tsvult." Isonei managed to speak it clearly and earned a satisfied smile from Hodrim. "Good night, dear Hodrim, sleep well."

Lislora translated and Hodrim gave another courtly bow before leaving them, still smiling.

Inside their room Lislora was smiling with bemusement, "Dear Hodrim?"

"He is dear, so earnest and proud... I want to cover his handsome little face in kisses and keep him forever." Isonei beamed, moving to the bed.

The Torgan shook her head as she began to undress, "Now I understand why you adored Draeseth when you met him."

"Did he tell you about how we met?" Isonei unfastened her grey overdress.

"No... I... I did not want to hear about him participating in your rituals."

Isonei gave her a look of amused annoyance. "I was trying to get away from someone who was pursuing me, haunting my footsteps as Draeseth called it. This huge man in a hideous mask stepped in to hide me under his cloak, to keep me safe and warm. He didn't try to impress me and he wasn't enamored with the sound of his own voice." She saw Lislora's small smile as she stripped down to her chemise.

"That sounds like Draeseth. He was never vain and he has a good heart."

"Yes!" Isonei smiled wistfully. "He does. No one else in Ara could see that. And his brothers and cousin weren't very kind to him... It felt like a secret that was being shared with me." She watched Lislora's smile falter and her jaw tighten. "But here in Torga when I've been miserable, so far from my family, thinking they abandoned me, it isn't... he isn't enough." A small lump was forming in her throat.

"You do love him?" Lislora came closer and for a moment Isonei thought she was going to be embraced. Instead the Torgan woman pulled back the covers and climbed into the bed.

"Not the way he needs, but yes." Isonei slipped into the bed with her and curled close, feeling the woman stiffen for a moment. "I should have listened to my father and never told him." She paused. "It occurs to me that listening to my father would have saved me a great deal of heartache."

Lislora snorted. "Your father will be pleased to hear that someday."

"I hope I get to tell him... preferably walking in his fields in Ara."

"Is Torga so terrible?" Her voice sounded annoyed and she half turned to face Isonei.

"How terrible would Ara have to be for you to miss your home? If your family was all still alive and missing you how badly would you want to return?" Isonei couldn't see her face well but she thought the woman looked pensive, "Ara is a great deal warmer though, you would have to wear Aran gowns or the heat would suffocate you. You might enjoy the lighter layers and the shorter chemise. Soft shoes that slip onto your feet-"

"No. I-I think I understand. You had to leave everything behind; nothing here is familiar or comfortable. The problem is not a fault in Torga."

"No, the mountains are majestic and impressive if so cold I want to make my bed in the fireplace." She smiled as Lislora snorted, "But this isn't my home. He promised me, Lislora, he promised I could go home as often as I needed to. All I had to do was ask. I wouldn't have come with him if I'd known he would break his word to me and never allow me to return."

"He loves you."

"He doesn't-he doesn't love me the way I need to be loved. Draeseth needs someone to put him first, to stroke him and coddle him, love him and only him, to let him be everything she needs. I can't give him that; I've tried to tell him that..."

"You stroke him and coddle him, it confuses him. And what has he not given you? You have everything!" Lislora turned to face the wall sourly.

"I need a man who doesn't try to change me into another woman, a man who thinks of me in bed, who puts my needs ahead of his wants. Draeseth wants a woman always at his side, but I need to see my family. I told him before we came. He knew he was bringing a woman to Torga who needed to go back to Leria and to Ara, regularly." Sighing she turned and put her back against Lislora's. "I have everything you want and need, but it isn't what I need. I'm sorry. I truly am, Lislora."

She was dreaming of being held by Zenaethe Lothlaerith, her head against his chest in the bath, when she was wrenched out of sleep and out of bed with a shriek. Lislora screamed louder, something in Torgan, as Isonei was being slung over someone's shoulder roughly and carried from the room.

It took a moment to get her bearings and realize it must be Draeseth. Bracing herself on his back she stopped her struggling and tried to catch her breath.

"Draeseth?"

"Isonei, you have pushed me too far." His low growl was accompanied by an abrupt shifting of her position that drew a startled yelp from her.

Several furious young Torgan voices were raised in Draeseth's path and he barked something at them that made them fall silent. Except for one. Hodrim.

The large Torgan snarled something at the child and Isonei found enough of her voice to plead. "Don't-don't hurt them, don't threaten them, Draeseth please. I'll leave with you just stop-"

The next thing she knew she was in a heap at his feet. Hodrim rushed forward to try to help her and she clung to him trying not to break into tears.

"You think I would harm a child?" Draeseth pulled her up with a jerk.

Wrapping her arms around Hodrim again once she was on her feet, holding him tightly, she gave Draeseth a long look. "You've done many things I never expected. These children have endured enough."

"You broke your word to me, Isonei. You promised that if I displeased you silence would not be my only answer. You slipped from my house and fled from me."

"I didn't know the orphanage was so far away, I just wanted to spend the day away from you. But for the first time since I came to Torga I felt useful and content. I was told I could stay and I gladly accepted the offer. If I had meant to flee I wouldn't have been in the bed you yanked me out of. I would have been trying to slip away and steal a horse once Lislora went to sleep."

The loud displeased sound he made in his throat caused Hodrim to flinch in her arms. Isonei kissed the boy's head and murmured to him, "It's alright, my little love, I won't let him harm you. He would have to harm me first." She gave Draeseth a defiant look that made his scowl deepen.

Lislora spoke soothingly from behind Draeseth and Hodrim held more tightly to Isonei as she stroked his hair.

The large Torgan turned on his heel and spat something furiously at Lislora. The Torgan woman snapped back at him and he straightened inclining his head. He spoke coolly to Hodrim who answered in a brave voice without letting go.

"You were placed in his care?" Draeseth's scowl softened.

"Yes. Sellac Gesosin charged him with teaching me Torgan and seeing me to prayers."

"She had no right. I will speak with you privately, wife."

Isonei had no chance to respond as the Sellac approached and sent the children scurrying back down the halls as she spoke to Draeseth in what were unmistakably scolding tones. The two conversed loudly until finally Hodrim was ordered to leave. A feeling that she would never see the boy again settled on her and she kissed his head tearfully. The boy looked far less upset than she felt and gestured for her to kneel. He gave her a kiss on the forehead before covering her face and drawing his small hands out to the side toward her ears.

The sweet gesture put a smile on her face and he looked pleased before turning to go as he'd been told. The Sellac placed a hand on his head as he passed and spoke something softly to him. Isonei rose to her feet and stood waiting to be told what to do. She glanced to Lislora who looked disheveled in her hastily pulled on dress. The Torgan woman beckoned but Draeseth caught her arm and held onto it as she tried to move past him.

The Prince's conversation with the Sellac quieted and he walked Isonei back to her room, allowing Lislora to enter as well. "We are to talk as you dress, wife. Lislora will be our chaperone." He looked sour standing and leaning against the door.

"What is there to talk about?" Isonei rubbed her face and began, slowly, to put on the clothes she'd arrived in.

"Do you expect me to believe that you didn't attempt to flee me? That you don't intend to escape to your Daga?"

She took a deep breath, "I know I should try. But I don't know how." Isonei lifted her tired gaze to meet his black scowl. "I don't know which way to go or how to hide in Torga. There is no point in trying to steal a horse and escape when I don't know where I'm going, when I don't have anyone to help me."

"The one who gave you that note won't help you?" It was clear he was looking for a reaction.

"The note was in the purse of money tied into my cloak. I don't know who it came from for certain. I have a few guesses but if I were wrong..."

The answer seemed to content him. "Did you speak with Krouth of it?"

"No. Even if he'd given me the note to ease my mind over my family he has no intention of allowing me to go back to Leria or Ara. He views me as family, the same way I view him, and he feels very strongly that I shouldn't be given over to demons, as he calls the Dagas."

Draeseth nodded slowly. "Why did you want to spend the day away from me if not to flee? There was no quarrel."

"There was no quarrel because I didn't feel I could endure one. Instead of refusing to allow you to use my body to give Lislora your desire, I allowed it." She stared at her hands for a moment debating telling him of her own fantasizing.

"Wife... I was confused. You are the one-"

"Stop. Draeseth, I promised myself I wouldn't ever allow that again. There isn't anything-"

He began to curse in Torgan and Lislora chided him. They spoke for several moments and she gestured toward Isonei several times. Finally he bowed his head and said, "Aing."

"If you do not wish to be my wife, I will allow you to join the convent here." Draeseth's bitterness was written across his face in the set of his mouth and the way he glared into the middle distance. "But first you must come with me to my father's Court and be my wife for a short while longer."

"To let you save face?" Isonei nodded slowly pulling on her overdress and fastening it. "Will you refrain from giving me gifts and put any money you intended to spend toward things for the children?" Even as she asked the question she knew she couldn't trust his answer.

"If you remain my Duchess I will let you spend all I have on the people of the Kroscur. I promise you, you..." He trailed off as she let him see her dubiousness.

"You have broken your word to me over and over again. I won't make any more promises to you. I have no way to hold you to anything but our Arrangement, and under it, half of the year is mine. I will be under Halloc Aurim's care."

"And returned to the convent." Draeseth bowed his head. "If I amend the Arrangement? So that you can hold me to my word? Will you give me my half of the year?"

"Why do you want me?" Isonei met his pained gaze with her own as he lifted his head. "If you thirst for water why would you force yourself to drink wine?"

"I want both. If I must choose I will choose the one who finds kindness easy and who forgives..." He stepped toward her and cupped her face, "I know you will forgive me eventually. Your gentle nature will not allow you to do otherwise. I will amend the Arrangement you will have whatever you need to help me care for my people. The Duchess of Kroscur will be famed for her kindness as well as her beauty."

Her insides twisted with uncertainty and nervousness.