Tough Shit Max.

"Right! That's why you kept calling to check on her."

Friday night when I got home from work and as soon as I was in the door I heard Merrily call out:

"In the living room Hank."

Hank? She had always called me sweetie. Why the change? I walked into the living room and saw Maxine sitting next to Merrily on the couch. She gave me a nervous smile and said:

"Hello Hank."

"Hello Maxi."

"At least you didn't say "hello Max."

"What brings you around after so long?"

"You probably won't believe it, but I missed you."

"You are right, I don't. How could you have time? A full time job and seven lovers should keep you so busy that you wouldn't have time to think of me."

"There aren't any lovers Hank. I haven't been with a man since I left."

She saw the look on my face and said, "I don't blame you for not believing that, but it is true. I want to come home Hank."

"Why? I assume that you left because you didn't like the position I took when I found out about your seven bed buddies. That position hasn't changed any."

"What I want and what I'm asking for Hank is a chance to try and change it."

"Again, why?"

"Because I loved what we had. I know it was me who ruined it, but I was still happy with it and I would like the opportunity to try and get it back. I promise that if I get it back I will never again do anything that will screw it up."

"Why in the world would you expect me to take another chance on you Maxine? Haven't you ever heard that saying, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice shame on me?"

"Yes Hank, I've heard it, but I've also heard the one that says, "Three strikes and you are out. I have two strikes against me Hank and I don't want to be out so I'm not taking that third strike."

I was silent for a bit and then I took a deep breath and said, "It doesn't matter anyway Maxine. There have been some changes since you left."

"I know and it won't be a problem."

"You know? How?"

"She told me."

I looked over at Merrily and she looked back at me and shrugged.

"How can that not be a problem?"

Merrily stood up, walked over to me and handed me the day's paper and then went back and sat down beside her mother and said:

"Turn to page three."

I opened the paper to page three and saw it was a full page ad for a local furniture store. In bold letters across the top of the page it said:

"Three days only!" and the copy underneath read, "Every king sized bed must go. You can not beat these prices anywhere. With every king sold we will include a set of sheets, pillow cases and a comforter. Do not delay. Hurry down while we still have a large selection in stock. At these prices they won't last long."

I looked up from the page and looked over at Maxine and Merrily and they were both smiling at me.

And FYI -- My parents still haven't tried to get in touch with me.